Thanks so much for the feedback! I was so paranoid and worried that you guys weren't going to like Chapter Ten. But thanks for reading and keep those reviews coming!
~SashaFierce12.0
Session Seven. Jacob Black. 1/14/13
"On a daily basis, how long do you think about her?"
"Who?"
"You're mother."
"Every day. Who doesn't think about their mother that much? If you don't...Psh...You gotta' be pretty twisted not to."
Chapter Eleven
Seth's P.o.V.
The bed was basically an old, worn mattress on some metal and the room had one window. It was dark, with only a lamp to add some light.
I couldn't stop shaking. I could almost compare to the tremors of phasing; that's how bad it was. But I needed a hit. So bad.
I knew I couldn't, though. That's why I was here. To get better.
I kept trying to grasp memories of my son, and it'd help some, but other than that, my mind would drift back to the things that got me here in the first place.
I pulled my legs up to my chest and laid my cheek down on my knees - trying to ease my nerves a little. It didn't work, though. If anything, the quivering seemed to take to an all new high.
My head throbbed and I felt like I could blow chunks at any given second. I couldn't help the tears forming in my eyes so I ignored them and they started to fall.
I cried.
I cried because I couldn't get what I wanted. I cried for Leah; she'd had to find out about this in a way that I didn't want. I cried for the Pack; they had all looked so disappointed in me. I cried for the imprints; they were scared. I cried for Mom. For my son. For Precious.
But most of all I cried for me.
Yeah. Me.
It seemed like, at this moment, I wouldn't be able to make it through. I'd only been here for not even a day, yet I already wanted to leave.
My quivering was joined by the usual shakes one gets when their sobbing. I felt so stupid and childish right now, but it seemed like I couldn't stop. So I didn't.
The door opened slowly and I glanced up, expecting to see Dr. Daniels. What I got was the complete opposite.
Her hair was long and curly and dark (I couldn't tell the color because of how bad the lighting was in here). She was pretty short, but really thin. I couldn't see her face because of the dark and because of how clouded my vision was with stray tears.
"Hey," she said. I saw the shadow of her hand move and blinked, making my vision go back to normal. I didn't speak, afraid that if I did, I'd puke. My head still felt like it was being pounded over and over again with a hammer and I couldn't stop quivering. She sat a few feet away from me, close enough so that I could see her give me a grim smile. "If it helps, it usually gets better after a week or so. But even then, you'll still get some headaches." Then she shined the light of a flashlight on her face and I got to see it. She looked to be at least my age, if not then a little younger. Her face was hard, though; she was definitely not one to mess with...
I didn't dwell on her too much, though. I got a craving and buried my head deeper into my knees.
"Do you have any?" I heard myself asking. "Ice?" She stared at me. "Quartz? White stuff? Anything? Please..." I begged her. The bed quivered with me. I was desperate now. I wanted...Needed it.
"I remember when I was like you," she said, completely ignoring my plea. "Except I would scream and yell at the door or at the walls or at the ceiling. It scared the doctors so much, they moved me to a whole new floor by myself. It took me awhile, but soon I stopped 'cause I knew I wasn't gonna' get anymore." She shined the flashlight on me and I saw her cock her head. "What's a cute little guy like you doin' in a big bad place like LMRC? Wait. Don't tell me. Got mixed in with the wrong guys? Then those bitches coaxed you to do something you weren't so sure about? Then you just went out on a big-ass drug spree ever since..." she said. I was only half listening, but, yeah, it sounded right. "Same happened to me. Grew up nice. Got good grades. Then I got tied in with some folks from school...I didn't wanna' do it at first, but my life was so screwed up at that point anyway. It seemed like my ticket out, y'know? But then my 'rents passed and I was given the responsibility of my little brother and sisters. Well, kind of. We lived with my aunt. But still...Looking into those little faces everyday made me think about what I was doing. Next thing I know, I was here. And I'm happy to say that I've been clean twenty-seven days." She had the flashlight shined on her face the whole time and then turned it back on me. "What about you, hot stuff? Got a story?" I didn't answer but continued quivering. I tried to stop, but it was so hard.
The girl looked on the small nightstand next to me and spotted the picture frame on top. She shined the light on it, revealing the last picture I had of me and Keithy. It was just him and I, and we were at First Beach. He was younger then; only two.
"Is that your brother?" she asked, shining the light back on me. That was enough to make me forget about what I wanted. I focused on Keithy.
"My son."
"Your son?"
"Mhm." I noticed that my shaking gradually got less, but it didn't entirely stop. "He's four now."
"You doing this for him? And your...Wife?"
"Yeah, for him. But I'm not married. My girlfriend...His mom...She's...She's dead." I hadn't talked about Precious in weeks. Bringing it up reminded me of how I got here in the first place and the anxiety and shaking shot up again.
"Oh, dude, I'm sorry. I won't talk about this anymore. Uhh...Crap, I should go." She shined the flashlight on her face. "Hey, I'll be back, 'kay? And so you don't forget me..." She turned the light off and was soon placing something on my head. Some kind of hat. "I don't usually get this attached to people this quick, but you're different hotshot. Just remember me: Mathai. Matt for short." She stood up off the bed and turned the flashlight back on, shining it on her face. "Got a name?"
"Seth."
"Hm. Seth." She opened the door and turned back to me. "See you soon. Seth."
0000000000000000000000000000
Leah's P.o.V.
Pacing around the room, I held the phone to my ear and bit my thumbnail.
"Miss?"
"Yes! I'm here!" I stopped and felt my heart speed up.
"I'm sorry, but Mister Clearwater is in a session right now with one of our doctors. Could you call back at a more convenient time?"
"Oh..." My excitement wavered and I forced a smile, even though the man on the other end couldn't hear me. "Sure. Yes. Okay."
"Alright. Can I also take a message?"
"Just...Never mind. It's fine."
"Okay. Thank you for calling." I voiced a half-hearted reply and pressed the 'end call' button, glumly sitting down on the couch. Emily came in and I handed her back her phone.
"Busy?"
"Yeah."
"You'll get to talk to him soon, Leah. Don't worry."
"But it's been almost two weeks and I haven't spoken with him. I'm getting worried."
"It'll be fine, Leah. You-" The phone rang in her hand and she gave me an apologetic smile before answering. "Hello? ...Oh. Yeah, she's right here." I knitted my eyebrows together and she shrugged, handing me back the phone.
"Hello?" I asked skeptically.
"Lee?"
Seth.
"Hi! I thought you were busy. I'd only just called not even thirty seconds ago!"
"I know. They said someone had called and I just guessed it was you."
"H-how are you?" I asked. He sighed.
"Major headache but I'm fine."
"Oh..." I looked up as some of the Pack walked in and brightened. "The guys just walked in. You wanna' speak to them?"
"Uhh...Nah, it's okay. I gotta' go anyway."
"Oh. Okay." I tried to hide my disappointment.
"I'll call back as soon as I can, okay?"
"Yeah."
"Bye." He hung up before I could say 'bye' back. I sighed and set the phone down.
"Who was it?" Sam asked.
"Seth." It got kind of quiet as everyone processed the name that I'd just said. Since Keithy was taken, we'd never spoken of that day at all. We barely even spoke of my brother.
"How's he doing?" Farah asked, breaking the silence.
"He said 'major headache but fine,'" I answered.
"I hope he comes back soon," Claire sighed, walking down the stairs. "And I hope that he's happy again." She walked into Quil's arms and he pulled her tight.
"Hey, he will. It's my brother we're talking about here. Seth Clearwater. Everyone with that last name can make it through anything," I winked at her and she smiled.
"Are you only confined to thirty second calls, Lee?" Emily asked, carrying in a plate of muffins. "That talk was kind of short."
"I don't know. I asked if he wanted to speak to you guys, but it seemed like he didn't want to." I shrugged and bit my lip. "Hey, can we talk about something else?" I asked.
"Okay! Let's talk about how cold it is outside! I mean burr!" Farah shivered for added emphasis and smiled. "Or we can talk about how Leah needs to get bigger because the weight she is now can't possibly be healthy for Estrella."
"Carlisle says I'm fine. I'm big enough as it is." I crossed my arms and stared down at my swollen belly. Then I shot up and turned around, showing everyone from different angles. "Look at this! You can't go and tell me that I'm not fat."
"Yeah. You're not fat. See? I just did it." Jake walked inside with a grin towards my way. I just rolled my eyes.
"But I am! I can't even fit into my clothes anymore. I feel like a cow," I whined, scrunching up my face. "And it doesn't help that I want to eat everything in sight!" I eyed the plate of muffins Emily set down and cringed. "I am a strong woman. I am a strong woman," I repeated to myself. Embry held out a muffin and waved it in my face.
"Be strong, Leah!" he laughed. I glared at him.
"I swear I will make the guys strap you down in a chair and watch my whole birthing process," I threatened. "Because watching me squeeze a human head through my vagina will be great payback for what you are doing to me now," I hissed. He shivered and gave me a sheepish look.
"Spare me...?"
"Em, you just pissed off a pregnant lady," Quil clapped a hand on his shoulder.
"No. It's a pregnant Leah. Those are the ones you gotta' be scared of the most," Jacob said.
"My threat stands for all of you!" I said, pointing at all of the guys.
"No. I had to watch my cousin deliver her baby. Once you've seen one birth, you've seen 'em all," Sam held up his hands in defense.
"No mercy," I whispered deviously. He only shook his head and chuckled. Embry put the muffin in my face again.
"You can have one bite, Leah. It won't kill you. If anything, it'll get that baby to start dancing. She'll be all 'Hell, yeah! Mommy's feeding me something sweet!'" He winked and I couldn't help but smile. "C'mon. Just one."
"...Fine. But only because your face is so hard to resist." I took a small one and swallowed with a shrug.
"Not big enough," he said.
"You never said how big it had to be!"
"Bigger than that."
"But then I'll eat the whole thing!" I whined. "I don't want to eat the whole thing."
"Then don't."
"You're not understanding me, Embry. I'm like you guys when it comes to steak. I can't just have one tiny bite. I got to have the whole thing."
"Then eat the whole thing!"
"But I don't want to eat the whole thing!" He rolled his eyes and shoved it in my mouth.
"Now chew." I tried to talk but he just pressed his hand on it, waiting for me to finish. I bit his hand when I was done, but he just laughed. "It was good, huh?" I narrowed my eyes and wiped my mouth. My expression turned to a frown.
"It was great," I hissed. "When I squeeze a five thousand pound baby through my va-jay-jay, I'll know exactly who to thank."
"Gee, thanks, Quil," Embry slapped his friend's back and walked to sit down on the couch.
"You know who I meant!" I yelled back.
"So what do you think childbirth is like?" Jacob asked. It wasn't directed towards me, but everyone in the room.
"Dude, let's not think about this," Quil shook his head.
"Why not?" Claire asked.
"I'm not planning on having kids any time soon," he replied.
"Doesn't hurt to know Quilly-Billy." She patted his head.
"I don't even want to know what it's like," Embry said.
"My cousin described it as trying to pull your bottom lip up and over the top of your head," Sam shrugged. All the guys screamed in unison and I pouted.
"Gee. Way to put it nicely, Sam," I said.
"They wanted to know," he shrugged.
"My mom always used to tell me that when she was having me, they had to get people to hold her down 'cause she was trying to strangle my dad," Farah said with a giggle. Everyone stared at her.
"Why do you look so proud?" Embry asked. His imprint only shrugged.
"How do you think Leah will take it?" Quil asked, looking at me as I sat down.
"She'll probably just pop that kid out like nobody's business," Jacob said.
"I believe it. Lee's tough like that," Emily nodded.
"Since when does Jacob Black see the future?" I asked.
"Since I started my new job as a physic medium downtown," he said seriously. I knitted my brows together and he laughed. "I'm kidding. Laugh."
"Oh. Ah-ha-ha. Ha."
"So how much longer do you have left?" Sam asked me.
"Like...Months. But I want to be done. Being pregnant isn't all it's cracked up to be. In movies, you see these beautiful prima donnas with their beautiful golden hair flowing down their backs, caressing their bellies like it was the star diamond on the queen's crown. Bitch, please. In reality, hair is not golden." I clutched my black locks. "It's coal colored."
"I prefer the word ebony," Claire said.
"Sure. And we only rub our stomachs because it feels weird having it here. Like..." I rubbed mine. "I don't even know. One day, I was flat. The next, I got this giant bowling ball sticking out from my body. But then I remember that there's a human being in there. And then I go 'oh. Yeah. Cool.'" I poked it. "But it needs to go. Holding children is much better than having the thing attached to your body. Add that to eating enough for a family of five thousand, having to pee every five seconds, and having your feet hurt?" I shuddered. "I'm just happy this isn't twins." My hands flew to my face. "Or worse. Triplets."
"Damn. Three kids through one vagina..." Embry looked at Farah who hit his shoulder. "Promise me we won't have triplets."
"Cross my heart," Farah said.
"Okay. Now can we talk about something else other than birth, vaginas, and prima donnas?" Quil whined.
"Oh, please, Quil. You know you love this," I teased.
"Not really. My poor innocent mind is being corrupted by you!"
"Your mind is not innocent," Sam protested. He turned back to me and grinned. I winked.
"So the birthing process," I started. I rubbed my stomach. "It all starts when you feel the first contraction."
Quil kind of cowered in the corner of the couch. "Leah...!"
"But it doesn't end there. Oh, no. The poor mother is agonizing, pain staking labor for hours. Maybe even days!"
"Leah!"
"And then finally the water breaks. And not only does your water break, but all hell breaks loose as well. Hey, if we're lucky, they might have one of those Deliver Me specials on TV."
"Really? Let's check!" Emily perked up.
"That's where I draw the line. I'm out," Quil shivered.
"Aww, we were just messing with you, Quilly," I cooed. "And trust me, I plan on not being in labor for that long."
"You say that now..." he muttered. "I'm not sticking around when you go all exorcist on us, Lee. The minute you start screaming...! Uh, deuces." He shot me a peace sign.
"I'm not going to be that bad."
"Can you see the future now?" Jacob asked with a quirked eyebrow.
"Yes. It is bright," I said mystically. "But trust me. You'll know when I start."
"We should have a special codeword, or something. So then if you're with any one of us, we'll know exactly what you're talking about," Emily said, collecting the empty muffin basket off the table.
"Or it could just be 'I'm about to shove a freaking head down my v-thing. Get me to the damn hospital now or I'll kill you,'" Embry said.
"It's too long. But I'll keep it in mind," I said.
"Yeah. It could be like, 'the eagle is about to land', or something," Claire quipped.
"Mmm..." I looked up in thought.
"Or it could be something clever like 'the star is falling,'" Jacob said. He started laughing along with practically everyone else in the room.
"Yeah. That star's definitely gonna' fall. Right out her-" Quil covered up Embry's mouth before he could finish.
"Let's not continue that sentence."
"Then I'll say it. RIGHT OUT THE VAGINA!" Emily ran in and hopped over the couch next to Quil as she said this.
"I love this," I giggled.
"I don't..." Quil groaned.
"You're going to have to hear it one day," Sam shrugged. He glanced at Claire and Quil paled.
"Sammy!" Claire turned red and wrapped her arms around her mid-section. Sam just raised his eyebrows and smiled. The doorbell rang and he answered it.
"Hey. You know you can just walk in," he said, stepping aside. And then appeared Alice in all her pixie-like glory.
"Ally!" Claire squealed.
"Hi, Claire! I just stopped by with an invitation from Edward and Bella." I didn't notice how she kind of choked on the vampire's girlfriend's name. "Their wedding." She held up some envelopes.
"They're still going through with that?" Jacob asked. I glanced at him and noticed that his face was twisted up in disgust and anger. Alice kind of sighed but nodded.
"Yes. Un...They are," she said. She smiled then. "I have some for everybody. So don't all come running at once." She passed them out. "You'll all be there, right?"
"...Yeah...?" Embry replied a little while later. He glanced at Jacob. Alice smiled widely and then rolled her eyes, her face going into a scowl. It looked weird on her face. Different. I instantly knew that she wasn't one to scowl often.
"Who am I kidding? Don't come. Wait. No. Do. Then I won't be bored the whole time. My brother marrying Bella is a huge mistake. She's mean, and sarcastic, and probably has the IQ of a box of crayons. Plus, she thinks that we'll always be there for her to wait on her hand and foot. Sure, she was fine in the beginning, but now...Ugh. I just want her out of my life." Her rant was answered by widened eyes. Alice was not the one to rant like this. That much I could tell.
She kind of looked at us like she just noticed that we were there. Her smile was sheepish and I bet if she could, her cheeks would be as red as strawberries.
"Sorry. I don't usually rant," she shrugged.
"That was highly amusing," said Quil.
"Saturday's the big day, huh?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. Guess so. I'll be seeing you guys." She started out the door.
"Aww, Ally you can stay! Can't she stay, Sammy? Please?" Claire whined.
"If she wants to. I'm fine with it," Sam shrugged and headed to the kitchen.
"You're staying. We're about to eat dinner," Claire squealed.
"Oh...I've already eaten," Alice looked down.
"That's fine. You can watch the guys eat and be disgusted like I usually am every day," Claire dragged Alice to the couch and sat her down between her and Quil.
I thought that it would be awkward, but to my surprise, Alice fit in with us just fine. She joked around with us and teased Quil more about birth and babies. Everyone was laughing along with her and I could tell that they all loved her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jacob staring down at the invitation with a perplexed look on his face. I reached over and squeezed his shoulder. He glanced at me and I gave him a look that said 'are you okay?' He shot me another one back. 'Yeah.' Then I got something else. 'You?'
I was about to smile to show that I was fine, too, but it wasn't the truth. I was far from fine. The stress of this baby and Seth and everything else is starting to get to me. Like, really.
But, stupid me, I smiled anyway.
Ha! Another chapter down! I'll have the next one up soon, it should be in the next month of Leah's pregnancy. So she'll be...Six months...? Yeah. Six months. Hoped you liked it! Review, please!
~SashaFierce12.0
