BORN AGAIN

My ears are full of an annoying sound that makes me want to shoot whatever the fuck is making it.

Then I remember the all-consuming darkness and I try to force my eyes open and sit up at the same time. My head feels like it has been split in half as my vision slowly comes back into focus.

I'm agape at the sight before me.

I'm back home for one thing but there are bodies strewn everywhere. All copies of me and Sam mostly.

I move towards Arandi who is closest to me and I check her pulse. In relief I feel it strong against my fingertips.

Once again my mouth sort of just flops open when I see my dad lying not too far off.

My mom is here too. Everyone that was with me at the cabin is here and it appears that Sam, my Sam, has his own guest list.

I stand slowly and everything sways and I gulp hard pushing back the nausea.

I look around until I spot my Sammy and I head to him. I kneel beside him and shake him slowly.

He opens his eyes and seems as out of it as I was when I opened my eyes but then he focuses. "Dean?"

"Yeah little brother I'm back." I sigh.

He gets to his own knees and pulls me into a strong hug that I return full force.

This right here 'my' brother at my side is home.

"What is happening?" He asks as we both stand and look around.

"And you're supposed to be the smart one." A red eyed version of me stands in front of us.

I should have known that if there was a Demon Sam, a Demon Dean wasn't too far off in this realm of insanity.

"Well I know I'm hot but this is ridiculous." I say smugly. I have faced way too fucking much for this to even shock me. How many doubles have been around in my lifetime? If I had a dollar you know?

Demon me, if that didn't cross a couple of my nightmares back when I had 'chew toy' stamped across my forehead.

"So tell me you little devil you, did you make that hound that dragged you to hell your bitch?" I ask.

I see the slight flicker of the memory pass across his face but he's behind the mask in milliseconds. Yeah he's Dean Winchester alright.

"Maybe someday soon we'll sit around a campfire and I'll tell you all about it." He sneers. "When I drag you to hell."

I huff a laugh. "Well at least my coffee with never get cold."

The others are waking and he vanishes. I can see why when the slayer version of me stands up and fuck he's huge and I see when his eyes fall on Raven and she sees him.

There is an unmistakable love that radiates off of them when they hug fiercely and the gentle caresses that follow as they kiss. That's his Arandi and I know how he feels….almost, he's been around his girl way longer.

I look around me as the other's reunite. Winchester and his wife, Blaze and an amazing younger version of Arandi.

Jared and the prettiest version of me and I can't believe I just said that and together well fuck. It's just a thing of beauty. I must have hit my head really hard.

Mom and dad are extremely happy to see each other again.

Arandi's Dean looks at her adoringly and I feel an overwhelming sense of possessiveness. You had your chance pal so fuck the hell off. I begin to go towards her when I spot Beau.

I see so much anger and disappointment in her eyes. So she knows and this would be so much easier if she wasn't pregnant.

She doubles over and gasps as her water breaks.

That's so not what I meant.

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I wake from a fog and instantly I make sure that I'm still pregnant, that my baby is still there. Everything is normal ok yeah that's laughable. I stand and look around. Everyone is unconscious strewn about outside. Normal and I almost laugh hysterically.

I see way more people than we started out with, as if what I'm going through isn't enough, now it's being broadcast to other worlds.

I need to make sure that they are all alive and then I see him. My Dean standing among them all and I know it's him because when you love someone that much you know them, you just do.

Something inside whispers 'when you loved'. He's not mine anymore is he?

The answer comes quietly as he spots Arandi lying somewhere near him. The anxiousness on his face to make sure that she is ok hurts like a punch to my heart. The gentleness that he touches her with. The look of relief when he feels her pulse. The way he once looked at me.

I thought I could forgive him, I thought I could keep loving him because I believed that he would still keep loving me.

I'm filled with anger and a bitter disappointment that he could do this to me. My entire life since meeting Dean has been a fucking roller coaster ride from hell and then some.

How could he put me through all that and walk away?

'It is meant to be.' I hear in a whisper. What is my meant to be then? I get stuck being a single mom because the man that is supposed to love me forever just thought it was ok for forever to end today?

Does he really think that I will allow that woman near my child or in my home?

I watch him go to Sam and look around as the others wake and reunite. I feel another stab of betrayal as I watch his face go stone cold possessive when he sees the other Dean looking at her adoringly.

He begins to walk to her. I'm completely forgotten. He hasn't even thought of me, if I'm ok. He finally sees me and he looks at me like he's deciding how to placate me.

I want to tear him apart, make him feel as shitty as I do. If he thinks I'm going to make this easy… I gasp and double over in pain, my water breaks.

He really was just waiting for his father to arrive.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

My dad is the one that ends up carrying Beau to her bed. My mom and Winchester's wife whose name is Deana move to help her get comfortable.

I come as close as I can before Beau hisses. "Don't fucking touch me."

I move back and the only thing I can say is the lamest thing. "I'm sorry."

There was a time when losing Beau would have been the end of me and I feel awful that things could change so fast with someone that I barely know yet somehow I know her better than I will ever know Beau. Knowledge of the heart so to speak.

Arandi hasn't dared come inside. This is Beau's place and unspoken she's not welcome hangs in the air.

I'm torn, do I stay where I'm no longer wanted or do I make myself look like a heartless dick and go to Arandi?

"You only concern should be your baby." My mom says sternly.

"I'll keep her company." Baby says and moves away.

Sam puts his hand on my shoulder. He understands but then again Sammy always does even when our worlds are blowing up in our faces.

Speaking of worlds we still don't know why all of us have brought together. Or who brought us together for that matter. Why this chosen few because there has to be a multitude of other worlds out there that got skipped or maybe they didn't get skipped at all. Maybe the exact same thing is happening in a handful of different places bringing together the other worlds. The ones where we are still alive anyway.

My head aches trying to figure this crap out and deal with Beau and Arandi and I have more people to meet.

Beau's screams of pain break me free of my thoughts. My son is coming and with him hopefully the answers we are all seeking.

The loud roll of thunder is so strong and loud, the ground trembles. Is it the demons or is it my son?

I hear a sound that I haven't heard in a while, the sound of fluttering angel wings.

"Not them too." I hiss moving to start getting some blood and send them away if they start trouble.

I don't see them though. There is sudden stillness and the only thing I can hear is Beau's gasps and trying to breathe right as Deana and my mom help her deliver our baby.

'It's never what you believe.' His voice whispers in my ear. 'I'm not what you believe. That is why it had to be Beau.' He laughs in a way that makes my blood cold.

"No, no, no." I move forward.

Beau screams. My mom and Deana fly back and a bright light and ear shattering screech fills the room.

Everyone covers their ears and dive for cover as the windows begin to shatter.

I had powers before so I concentrate hard but nothing happens.

'Doesn't work on me daddy.' He pushes back and I start to scream.

TBC

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Thank you for reading!