Chapter 11: Give your heart a break

New update, nothing special just some talking. I didnt like Abby's personallity on the serie so I decided to change her a little :D

Title from Give your heart a break by Demi Lovato


"Why are you trusting Echo?"

Clarke asked me while we rode, her voice was low to keep Bellamy and Echo from hearing us.

"Because she was acting under threat, and even though she was being blackmailed, she did everything she could to help us reach you."

"And what will happen with the rest of the warriors that surrendered?"

"They will be judge, as well as Echo."

"Your people probably will want to kill them."

"As long as I am the Commander, they will face a trial where I will hear their stories and afterwards I will decide their fate."

After a moment of silence, Clarke spoke again.

"Could I be there, with you? I won't interfere, I promise. I just want to get to know your culture."

"Of course you can accompany me, Clarke."

"Okay, thanks." We fell silent again, it was comfortable; but now there was nothing to get me distracted from the throbbing pain on my back. I held Clarke closer to me instinctively and she noticed something was not fine. "Is something wrong Lexa?"

I breathed deeply and tried to put the pain aside.

"It is just my back, I guess I hit the tree pretty hard."

Clarke grabbed one of my hands and squeezed gently. After a shaky breath, she started speaking.

"I was so scared, when Ashkna threw you and when you fell, you weren't moving at all." She took another breath "It seems that everyone I care about, gets hurt or dies."

"Clarke I'm fine, I'm here holding you, don't be afraid."

"Lexa you almost died, I almost killed you and since you have been with me, you got wounded like a hundred times…"

I felt the pain her words caused me, if there was a responsible for all of this… it was me.

"In that case, you should stay away from me, because of me your world has been full of pain, death and blood."

"Why are you saying this? Don't tell me you believed what Ashkna said."

"You think you are the responsible of my wounds, but I am the one who made you do horrible things, and I am the reason why you got kidnapped. Maybe you are better without me Clarke."

Just when Clarke was about to answer me, Bellamy interrupted her.

"We are almost there, let's go!"

It was for the best, if I made Clarke stay with me, I would be condemning her to live pursued by Ashkna.

"Don't you think we are dropping this conversation Lexa, but your wounds come first."

Clarke told me while we entered Camp Jaha.

Diaval and Sheidgeda came running.

"Sis! Where did you go? What happened?"

"Clarke was kidnaped by Ashkna's warriors but we managed to save her."

Diaval looked alarmed when he saw the cut on my face and Sheidgeda looked tensed, probably because she was smelling my blood.

"Sheidgeda, I'm fine, don't worry."

She seemed to calm a little and got closer to Diaval who started to pet her.

We got off of the horses and everybody started walking towards the entrance of the Ark but I couldn't. I thought my back was in a bad condition but the pain wasn't allowing me to move. Clarke turned and saw me, she reached me running, put my right arm around her neck and held it with her hand helping me to walk slowly.

"Diaval could you please go and call my mother?"

"Of course! I just saw her at the dining room."

"Thank you, tell her to meet us at the infirmary as soon as possible."

We entered the infirmary and we found Abby was already there, waiting for us.

"Okay sit down on that bed Lexa."

"Her back is the most urgent thing you should see. She was thrown to a tree and her back collided with it. She probably has a contusion."

Abby looked at Clarke while she described my situation.

"I will clean briefly her face and thigh cuts; I will put some stire strips on her cuts and I will treat her back afterwards." Abby did as she told after I relinquished all my armour ending in my tank top and shorts once more. When she cleaned my cuts she stood still, thinking. "You should shower before I put the stire strips."

I nodded and with Abby help, I ended up with only my bandages and my underwear. Abby moved to my back as well as Clarke. I felt some lightly touches against my back which made me groan.

"I will wait outside, tell me if you need something."

Clarke spoke with trembling voice and her eyes on the verge of tears. I wanted to say something to comfort her but she exited the room almost running.

Abby helped me to stand up and we walked to the infirmary bathroom.

"She doesn't stand to watch people get hurt because of her."

"But it wasn't her fault, it was mine, I told her. Ashkna wants her because she is important to me."

"Diaval told me about Costia and what you felt for her." Oh great, now Abby knew I had feelings for Clarke. "My daughter has suffered, she has lost so many important people. And I don't want to see her suffer more."

"I know Abby, don't worry, I already told Clarke she will be better without me."

"No Lexa, you understood it wrong. As much as I wish to keep her from pain; I realised she is not my little girl anymore. This is a cruel world, and I want her to have all the possible support." She paused and I looked at her. "She is broken, she needs help and I also know how you look at her, how you truly care about her, so I can see you are probably the only person who can save her.

"But she is suffering because of me, she almost got kidnaped and tortured because of me, how am I supposed to help her if I only can cause her pain?"

Abby put her hand on my shoulder and smiled at me.

"You can't expect to live without hurting others or getting yourself hurt. But you can decide if that will make you stop living your dreams, your goals. You can hurt people Commander, but you also can help them to heal."

I looked at Abby, trying to find a hint of lies but all I could find was sincerity. I gave her a little smile.

I should probably talk with Clarke later.

I showered and then Abby put those strange steri strips which were small strips with some kind of glue that kept the cuts almost united.

"You have changed so much."

"I guess I finally saw the weight Clarke has been carrying and the little we have done so she didn't have to carry all by herself. So as long as her acts make her happy, I will support her in every step she takes." This woman was truly changing, she looked like a different person. Abby changed the topic and carried on taking care of my back. "I need you to lay upside down to put some ice on the contusion. If your thigh starts hurting too much just tell me."

"Okay."

The moment Abby put the cold object, I felt my back stopping hurting. I sighed and closed my eyes. Too many emotions and exercise.

"I have to check on something, I'll tell Clarke to come here and watch you."

I heard Abby leaving and I almost fall asleep until I heard someone moving a chair and sitting beside me.

"Hi."

I opened my eyes and saw Clarke, her hair wet and wearing a tank top and pants similar to mine.

"Hi, I guess you needed a shower too."

I told her mimicking the gesture she make before, almost joining two fingers.

She chuckles softly and held my hand.

"I've been thinking about what you said and what I said and I reached a conclusion."

I knew we were going to have this conversation sooner or later but I wasn't ready and I would probably never be.

"Which conclusion did you reach?"

"That love is weakness. That is what you told me when we met. But now I know fear was what you were feeling. I understand you, feelings are dangerous, they can take control over you so it is easier to keep yourself from feeling them. But I'm not like the rest and I am not afraid of feel, not anymore."

"As long as you stay with me, you will be in danger, and I don't know if I could live with myself if something happens to you..."

"I know you are scared it is wrong, like if you make a mistake, maybe your people will see it as weakness, maybe I will be in danger but I want to be with you, let me give your heart a break."

This was going to be probably one of the most important choices in my life and just looking at the deep sky in front of me, it was going to be one of the easiest choices in my life as well.

"An annoying girl told me once that we deserved more than just to survive, well "I took a deep breath before continuing, here goes nothing" I want to learn to live instead of survive with that girl."

Clarke looked at me and smiled. She got closer to me and gave me a soft kiss on my lips.

"They are kissing, ugh!"

Diaval entered the infirmary and covered Sheidgeda's eyes, she understood it like a signal to play and started licking Diaval.

The three of us chuckled and started a small talk about Diaval's day. Later Indra, Lincoln and Octavia entered the room. Indra told me that all the prisoners were at our camp and also Echo had joined them. When she finished she asked for Abby and went out of the infirmary. After talking for some time, Abby came back and Lincoln offered a lotion to help my bruises. I stood up sitting on the bed and after spreading the lotion, Abby bandaged all my upper body. I looked like a mummy.

"That back tattoo is so hot Clarke."

"Stop it Octavia..."

Clarke was blushing and I smiled. I laid down in the same position. Bellamy and Raven joined us too. I heard them speaking about postpone tonight party but I fell asleep while I heard Raven speaking.

"Oh! I got an idea!"

I didn't knew how, but all of them ended up playing cards on my back while I was asleep. Once I woke up, I saw Clarke on the chair sleeping

"This is anything but entertaining."

I said getting more and more pissed.

"But we are keeping you company!"

"What the hell are you doing!?" They all froze when they heard Clarke. "The Commander is injured and she needs rest and you go and decided that the best option is to play cards, on top of her injured back!?"

"But it sounded funny, you don't have the opportunity to play cards on the back of the Commander every day, we will become famous!"

"If anyone of you, goes and tells you have been using my back for your games, I will pursue you when I get better."

All of them went pale and run through the exit. Clarke sighed.

"I will get some soup and after dinner I will let you rest. Diaval, wanna come with me?"

"Sure! Sheidgeda protect Lexa."

After some minutes, Clarke came back and knelt beside me.

"Where did Diaval go?"

"We saw Monty and Diaval went with him, I think they are really good friends."

"Yes, I am happy for him, he had been alone for quite a long time." I tried to stand up but I couldn't find any strength. "I have a little problem."

"Which problem?" Clarke looked at me confused.

"I can't move, like at all."

"This is going to be so funny."

"What is going to be so funny?"

"Me feeding you."

"Oh no, I refuse to eat, I will have breakfast tomorrow, I can wait."

"Oh come on Lexa! It is just soup is not a big deal, I won't tell anyone, okay?"

"Fine…"

She helped me turn to my side and after grabbing me from my waist, she assisted me straighten. This was so embarrassing...

Clarke started feeding me with a smile plastered on her face.

After eating Clarke sat on my bed.

"Will you teach me to defend myself?"

"Yes, I will teach you, whenever you want."

"Okay, thanks."

She gave me another kiss and sat on the chair.

"You should go to your bedroom, resting on that chair will make your body feel sore."

"Once you fall asleep, I will go, okay?"

"Fair enough."

"I will come here first thing on the morning to feed you again."

She said winking at me. I looked at her squinting my eyes.

"Ha ha, so funny, I may die of laughing so hard…"

Clarke chuckled again and called Sheidgeda. I saw Sheidgeda sprawling next to me on the floor and I closed my eyes.

When I was almost sleeping, I felt lips on my forehead.


Almost every chapter ends up Lexa going to sleep, I do this unconsciously D:

Next chapter something special will happen!