"Oh man." Keira said quietly as she sat in the bathroom staring at the test.

"Mommy, I gotta go." Kylie yelled knocking on the door.

"I'm coming pumpkin." she said shoving the test under the bathroom sink before washing her hands and opening the door.

"Mommy, when is daddy gonna be home? He said he would take me to the park today." Kylie asked rushing into the bathroom.

"He should be home in a little while pumpkin." she said going into the kitchen reaching up into the cabinet for her pill bottle. She just stood there at the counter staring at it. Should she take it. Would this do any damage to the baby she had just found out was inside of her uterus? It couldn't do any worse. She thought as she opened the bottle and took the pill out.

"Mommy, can I wear my purple jacket?" Kylie asked coming out of the bathroom.

"Sure sweetie. It's getting warmer out. Why don't you go straighten up your room, OK?" she said looking over at her in a daze.

"OK mommy. Mommy, is Aunt Mimi gonna watch me when you go to see daddy play tomorrow?" she asked from her room.

"No sweetie. You're gonna sleep over with Aunt Maureen and Aunt Joanne." she said snapping out of her daze.

"Yay, me and Aunt Maureen are gonna play dress up." she yelled picking up her toys.

"Hi Baby, I'm home." Roger called out entering the apartment.

"Hi Roger." she said looking up at him.

"Daddy, can we go to the park today?" Kylie asked running out of her room.

"Sure princess. Is your room straightened up?" he asked picking her up.

"I'm almost done." she said smiling at him.

"Good girl. Go finish up, OK? Then we'll go to the park." he smiled kissing her head before letting her down.

"OK." she smiled running back into her room.

"So how was your day with princess?" he asked going into the kitchen to kiss Keira.

"It was good. She's excited about sleeping over with Maureen and Joanne tomorrow night." she smiled faintly looking up at him.

"Is everything OK Keira?" he asked looking down at her.

"Um... yeah. Everything's fine. Do you want a beer or something?" she asked looking up at him.

"No, I'm fine. Keira, tell me what's wrong?" he said looking down at her.

"Roger, I was late, so I took a test and... I'm pregnant." she said looking up at him.

"You're...? We're...?" he asked looking down at her shocked.

"Surprise." she said half smiling before beginning to cry.

"Baby, what's the matter? This is good news." he asked taking her face in his hands.

"Is it Roger? We're HIV positive, we've only been married 4 months and we have a 4 and half year old to take care of." she asked looking up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Keira, there's medicine they can give you so the baby will be negative." he said looking down at her.

"But what if the medicine harms the baby?" she asked quietly looking up at him.

"Then we'll deal with it. Baby, we're gonna have a baby." he said smiling down at her.

"Roger, I'm scared." she cried looking up at him.

"I know Baby. Me too. But I love you and we'll get through this. I promise." he said wrapping his arms around her holding her close.

"Daddy, I'm ready." Kylie called out coming out of her room.

"Do you want me to stay here?" he asked looking down at Keira.

"No, it's OK. I'm fine. You should take princess to the park. It's the first nice day we've had in months." she told him wiping her eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You should go." she said looking up at him.

"I love you Keira." he whispered leaning down to kiss her.

"I know. I love you too Roger." she said looking up at him as he wiped the tears from her face.

"Why don't you go talk to Mimi? I won't be gone long, OK?" he said looking down at her.

"No. take your time. Really? I'm fine. Kylie's been looking forward to this all day." she said looking up at him.

"OK, but I really think you should talk to Mimi. She can help you." he said kissing her head.

"OK, I'll talk to Mimi. I love you Roger." she smiled wrapping her arms around him holding him close.

"I love you too Keira. More than anything." he whispered kissing her head again.

"Come on daddy." Kylie called out putting her spring jacket on.

"OK princess. I'm coming. I'll see you later Baby." he smiled looking down at Keira.

"OK. Have fun you two." she smiled as they left the apartment. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked around. There were pictures of her, Kylie and Roger all around. She and Roger had only been together 6 months and now here they are, married, with a 4 year old and now they were gonna have another baby. She didn't know what to do. How was she gonna have this baby? They were both HIV positive and were gonna die eventually. She sat on the couch and curled herself upand cried.

"Keira, are you home?" Mimi called out knocking on the door. Keira didn't answer, she just continued to cry. "Keira chica, I'm coming in." she said opening the door. "Chica, Roger told me." she said rushing over to her.

"What am I gonna do Mimi? Roger and I are positive and now Kylie and this little innocent baby is gonna have to live with it." she cried still laying on the couch.

"Come on, sit up chica. There's something I need to tell you." Mimi said scooting Keira over as she sat on the couch next to her.

"What is it Mimi?" she asked wiping her eyes as she regained her composure.

"Last year, before you moved in, I found out I was pregnant. Mark was so happy, but I was scared to death. I didn't want Mark to have to watch me and our child die." she started looking over at her.

"What happened?" she asked looking over at her.

"I went and got an abortion. Mark was so furious with me. He broke up with me for a while and he wouldn't talk to me for months." she said as tears stung her eyes.

"Why did you...?" she asked looking over at her.

"I was so scared that our child would be HIV positive that I couldn't be happy like Mark was. We would argue about it everyday. Ask Roger, he refereed a lot of our fights. Mark yelling about how much he loved me and how much he wanted to have our baby and me yelling at him about not wanting to pass my disease on to our baby and make him watch us both die. I didn't know what else to do. So I went without telling him. When he found out, that 's when he broke up with me. Roger yelled at him so bad. And me for that matter. All he kept saying was how lucky I was to have the person who was meant to love me and how I screwed it up. He told me I was made to be a mother and Mark would have made the most amazing father. I felt so horrible, but no worse than I felt already. I wanted to take it back so badly." she said looking over at her wiping her tears.

"I'm so sorry Mimi." Keira said looking over at her beginning to cry.

"I'm OK sweetie. Roger locked me and Mark in my apartment and made us talk. We screamed at each other, we cried, he held each other and realized that we love each other and that we want to be together forever. No matter what that means. My point is, I made a huge mistake. You don't want to do anything that you're gonna regret later on. You and Roger love each other and you're great parents to Kylie and you'll be great parents to this baby too. The doctor can put you on special meds so that this baby won't be positive and if it is, you and Roger can handle this." she said turning to look at her.

"I don't know if I can. I mean, Mimi, I already lost one husband to HIV and I know I'm gonna lose Roger to it too. I don't know if I can handle it if our baby is HIV positive too. It's bad enough Kylie's gonna lose half the people she loves to it. She shouldn't have to lose her little brother or sister to it too." she said looking over at her still crying.

"Chica, you and Roger deserve some happiness away from your HIV." she said reaching over to wipe the tears from her wet face.

"But Mimi, our HIV is real. It's here and we can't keep running away from it. Everyday we act like it's not a factor, but everytime we have to take our pills I realize it is. I want to have Roger's child. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone. I only married my late husband to get away from my controlling mother and then I got pregnant with Kylie right away and after I had her, he got me to try heroin. We were out of it for most of our marriage that it wasn't even a marriage. When he died, I was actually happy. How screwed up is that? I wanted him dead because he gave me HIV." she cried getting up and pacing the apartment.

"I know chica." Mimi said getting up to comfort her.

"I just don't know if Roger and I can handle it if we had an HIV positive baby." she cried into Mimi's shoulder.

"Keira, you and Roger can handle anything. Everything's gonna be OK sweetie. You'll see." she said caressing her hair.

"So how was Roger when he told you about the baby?" Keira asked looking over at her.

"He was giddy. I've known Roger a while and let me tell you, I've never seen him so happy." she smiled looking over at her.

"Really?" she asked wiping her tear stained face.

"Yeah really. He loves you and Kylie so much." she answered tucking her long blond hair behind her ear.

"I guess Roger and I are having a baby." Keira smiled looking over at her.

"Everything's gonna be OK chica. You'll see." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"I should go find Roger. I'm afraid he thinks I don't want this baby, and I do. You have no idea how much I want this baby." she said looking over at her.

"He knows you want this baby Keira. And he understands that you're scared. He's scared too." she said looking over at her.

"Scared? But he was so..." she stared looking down.

"He is happy, but chica he's scared too. He's scared for you, he's scared for the baby. He just doesn't want anything to happen to you two. And then there's Kylie. He doesn't want her to get jealous because she's his adopted daughter and this child would really be his..." Mimi started until Keira interrupted her.

"Kylie is his. She may not have his blood running through her veins, but she couldn't be more his. He is a perfect father to her. She worships him." Keira said looking up at Mimi.

"I know that chica, but you know how Roger is. He loves that little girl as if she were his own. He always has. But you girls are his life. The last thing he wants is to hurt you. Either of you." Mimi smiled looking up at her.

"Yeah, I know Roger and I know he would never hurt us. He never could." she smiled looking around the apartment.

"Why don't you get cleaned up? We can go to the park and meet up with Roger and Kylie. You and Roger can talk and I can keep an eye on Kylie." Mimi suggested playing with Keira's hair.

"OK. I'll be right out. Thanks Mimi." she smiled leaning in to hug her.

"Hey, that's what best friends are for." Mimi smiled hugging her back.