Arthur woke suddenly to Merlin's voice and a slight shaking in his shoulder. He muttered something and rolled over, annoyed. It was still dark outside, there was no reason for Merlin to be waking him up. But the persistence didn't stop, and Arthur was growing more and more annoyed. Didn't the idiot understand, he didn't want to get up just yet-
Wait. Merlin. Merlin was there. He sat bolt upright and stared at his manservant, wondering how he had gotten back. "Merlin! What are you-?"
"Arthur, please, help-" Arthur watched helplessly as Merlin fell to the floor. Arthur saw all the cuts, the blood dripping onto his floor. That didn't matter. Merlin. Merlin was gasping for breath, but it was obviously too hard, it shouldn't be so hard-
"Merlin, don't do this." Arthur pleaded. "Just wait a little longer, hold on, you're strong." He didn't care that he was begging, this couldn't be happening. Merlin couldn't die on him, he wouldn't allow it.
Merlin had a small smile on his face, but it fell away quickly as Merlin lost all consciousness, No. No no no no no.
"Help!" Arthur screamed, pulling Merlin onto his lap as he lost all of his kingly manner and became merely the man who was losing his best friend.
"Merlin!" Arthur woke as he screamed the name and sat straight up, sweat dripping from his forehead and tears dripping from his eyes. He gasped for breath as he came into wakefulness, Gwen's voice at his ear and her hands on his shoulders becoming more real than Merlin in his arms. No no no no no, he wanted Merlin back, he needed-
"Arthur, it's fine, it was just a nightmare." Gwen's voice tried to soothe him, but there was nothing she could do. Arthur threw the blankets off of himself and stood, running his hand through his hair over and over as he walked to the door.
"Arthur, you're... if you're going out, you had better change. Let me help you."
Arthur paused. He didn't want to wait. He needed to leave, to do something, to help Merlin. Finally, he turned to Gwen. She was right. She was already holding a change of clothes for him, standing by the wardrobe. Arthur was about to walk to her when his eyes roamed back to the bed and where Merlin had been laying.
He froze for only a moment before he hurried to kneel next to the spot. There was just one spot of blood on the floor, sitting on the stone like a reminder. Merlin needed him. Merlin was dying, he didn't have long, Arthur had to do something.
He didn't listen to Gwen's cries of indecency as he turned and left his chambers, making his way toward the one man he knew would do whatever it took. He couldn't leave, he knew that. The army had begun moving, slowly but surely, and there was too much he had to do here to go to Merlin's aid. He hated that, hated that he couldn't leave to go save the one man that had always believed in him.
Arthur pounded on the door. "Gwaine, open up." He kept hitting the door, not listening for Gwaine's answering "Go away," as the knight woke. He only stopped when the door suddenly opened, and then he pushed past Gwaine and made his way inside. He began working on pacing a hole into Gwaine's floor as the knight stared at him.
"What do you want, princess?" Gwaine asked, rubbing a hand across his face as he watched Arthur pace. "Do you know what time it is?"
"I know you just got back from the tavern an hour ago, but you're still sober because for once drinking didn't feel right."
"Well... with Merlin-"
"I need you to get him back."
Gwaine stared at Arthur for a moment, before shaking his head. "You told me-"
"It doesn't matter what I told you, I'm telling you now that you are going to get him."
"Arthur, you said Morgana-"
"You my permission to do whatever is necessary, just..."
"Bring him back."
"Please."
They stared at each other for a moment in silence before Gwaine started moving. "You'd better go get dressed Princess. Don't want to be caught in your undies." He grabbed a satchel and began shoving things into it.
"You'll find him?"
"I'll do better than find him. I'll make them pay-"
"No."
"What?"
"Just... just get Merlin and come back. He'll need... he's probably not been treated well, you should bring him back as soon as possible. And then I'll need you here."
Gwaine looked like he wanted to argue, but he only stared for a minute before nodding. "Right." Arthur watched him run around the room, grabbing things from piles on the floor and throwing things out of drawers to get at items in the back. He was moving quickly, and tearing his room up in the process. Arthur was glad of the urgency, even if it made him cringe when something glass slammed to the floor and shattered.
"You can take some men, but I can't spare many. I have to be prepared, for when-"
"I don't want any."
"Gwaine... are you sure?"
"I was running around on my own before you were king, Princess. I can take care of myself."
Arthur nodded once. "Alright."
Gwaine threw the bag over his shoulder and turned toward Arthur. It was only a few seconds later that Arthur was enveloped in a hug. He hesitated for a moment before patting Gwaine's back a few times in the same way Gwaine was patting his.
"I'll find him, Arthur. Then I'll yell at you some more."
"I can live with that."
Gwaine pulled away, patted Arthur once more on the shoulder, and then ran around him and out to his horse. Arthur leaned against the door frame, loathe to go back to his room. He didn't want to explain to Gwen, in part because he didn't want to live it again. It had been... he didn't want to see that again. He had to save Merlin before it happened.
"Arthur?" Ah, she'd found him. He supposed it wasn't too difficult to figure out. Gwen knew Gwaine came only second to Arthur in friendship with Merlin, so after he woke up screaming for his friend...
"Arthur, here." She handed him a pair of pants and a shirt, which he hastily pulled on. He avoided looking at his wife as he did so, because he knew as soon as he did she'd demand an explanation.
"What's wrong?" She asked quietly.
"Gwen, I don't feel like talking about it right now."
"Arthur-"
Arthur began walking down the hall, aware that it was much too early in the morning to be up and about but also certain he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. He didn't want to go back to sleep. He was afraid he'd see Merlin again, in a less than alive way. He didn't think he could handle that.
"Arthur Pendragon, listen to me."
Arthur paused as he heard Gwen's bare feet slapping the floor behind him, obviously angry. Angry. He wasn't sure he understood angry, but there were always things he didn't quite understand about his wife, and he supposed he probably never would.
"Arthur, tell me what's wrong." Gwen demanded, coming around to stand in front of the king.
"Gwen, I don't want to talk about it-"
"Why did you run off to Gwaine? Did you tell him?" She was hurt. Ah, that was it. She thought he'd gone running to Gwaine to talk about it instead of her.
"I just sent him... he's going to scout." Arthur didn't know why he was lying to her. He supposed he was afraid she would think it was wrong, that either he should have gone himself or he shouldn't have sent anyone. He didn't want to hear that right now, because he was sure he would yell at her. That never ended well.
"Why? In the middle of the night? Did you... did you dream about Merlin?" Arthur's jaw clenched at the name. Gwen nodded, as if that confirmed her suspicions. "I'm sure it was nothing, Arthur, just the stress getting to you. He's fine, I'm sure."
"Yes. Of course." Arthur answered. They both knew he wasn't convinced.
"Arthur, Merlin's... he's special. He'll be fine. He always is."
"I know."
Gwen stared at him for a moment. "Let's go back to bed, Arthur. You need your rest."
"No thanks. I'm going for a walk"
"I'll go with you." Gwen was quick to volunteer. Arthur shook his head.
"No, thank you, but I'd like to go alone."
"Oh... Oh, alright. Whatever's best for you. But he'll be fine. Believe me."
Arthur nodded and Gwen scooted to the side, letting him walk past. He knew she didn't go back to their room right away, because he footsteps never echoed back to him. She watched him walk away and turn the corner, heading for outside. He needed fresh air and the clear night sky to keep him company for a few hours, let the quiet calm him down.
Merlin was fine. Of course he was fine. In all the scrapes they'd ever gotten themselves into, he'd always come out fine in the end. Maybe worse for wear, but... he always made it through. Arthur had to keep telling himself as he took the stairs two at a time, taking deep breaths of the crisp air that pressed against his face. It didn't help calm him, as he had hoped, but there was something about being under the stars that made things seem hopeful. He could do this. Gwaine would find Merlin, and they'd come back with a few scrapes and bruises. Merlin would be there to tell him when he was being a complete arse and when his plans were crap. And together they would get rid of Morgana and overcome all the stuff she was planning and they could go on living their happy, insubordinate lives. It would be fine. It would be. Because there was no other option.
He could see Gwaine riding away, just barely. He was almost gone, riding hard to make it there as soon as possible. Arthur had a horrible feeling about his friend, and he hoped it was just remnants of the nightmare.
He wasn't sure how long he stood outside, just letting thoughts drift through his head, but he went back inside while it was still dark and made his way to Gaius chambers. He didn't knock when he arrived. He opened the door as quietly as he could, closed it just as quietly, and crept past a snoring Gaius. Merlin's door was a creaky mess, but Gaius didn't wake up. He must be exhausted. Arthur assumed he wasn't sleeping well, he never did when Merlin was in danger.
Arthur fell onto Merlin's bed, wincing slightly. He'd expected it to be a bit more comfortable, honestly. He wasn't sure how Merlin actually slept on this, but he only laid there for a few minutes before he fell easily into a dreamless sleep, clutching at the blanket and praying that Merlin would have the chancce to use it again.
He woke many hours later to the sound of pounding feet. He frowned and rubbed his eyes, sitting up slowly as sleep slowly lost it's hold on him. He pulled himself out of bed, pulled the blankets up to hide evidence of his presence, and slowly made his way out of Merlin's room.
There was no one in Gaius' chambers. He frowned, but he also noted the sunlight streaming through the window and told himself it was normal. He had apparently slept later than he'd planned, but he had also lost a good amount of sleep. He felt refreshed, and that was important.
He left the physician's rooms and walked down the hall, wearing his now wrinkled shirt and pants that were almost inappropriate for this time of day. He walked down the hallways, listening to the yells coming from his knights. He frowned and followed the voices. He found a majority of them in the throne room, arguing.
"What's going on here?" Arthur asked loudly, glaring at the men who were not acting in a manner appropriate for the knights of Camelot. They all turned as one to stare at him before there was a collective sigh of relief.
"Sire, where have you been?" Leon was the first to break the silence, stepping toward the king.
"I was... it doesn't matter. What's going on?" He felt silly, admitting that he was sleeping in his manservant's bed, and it really wasn't any of their business.
"We thought you'd been taken, sire."
"Taken?"
"The last anyone saw, you were going outside for some air, and when you didn't show up for the council meeting this morning..." Leon was obviously hoping for an explanation, but he wasn't going to get one.
"I was taking some time for myself." He tried to sound confident, like a King telling someone to stay out of his business, but he wasn't sure it didn't come out like an obstinate prince making excuses.
"Sire, if you would tell us about this beforehand..."
"I apologize. I... didn't think it through. But there's no excuse for wasting time now. There's preparations to be made, and I'm certain you all have work to do."
There was a general collection of nods from the knights and they began to disperse, attending to whatever duties they'd been assigned before they went crazy looking for the king. Leon stayed, and when the room was cleared out he sighed.
"Arthur, are you alright?"
"I'm fine."
"We'll get Merlin back."
"Everyone assumes that's what I need to hear."
"Isn't it?"
"Maybe I'm just stressed about the war I'm about to have with my ex-sister. Maybe I've got a lot of heavy things on my mind right now and I'm having difficulty sleeping. Maybe my room is perfectly organized and I'm happy with my servant's work ethic for once." Arthur's voice rose as he spoke. "Maybe I'm not concerned about that idiot, because he's the one that told me to leave him behind and I shouldn't have listened to him, I should have taken both of them or had Gwen help him out or something other than what I did. Maybe I'm just angry at myself and it has nothing to do with Merlin."
Leon didn't say anything for a moment as Arthur stared at him, wishing his words were true. Wishing 'We'll get Merlin back' wasn't the phrase that he kept hearing, because it reminded him that Merlin was gone in the first place.
"The Queen told me you sent Gwaine after him last night." Leon said after a moment of silence. "I've rearrange the duties to account for his absence, at least until he comes back."
"Thank you, Leon."
"I also canceled the council meeting today. There's a lot of work to catch up on, and I thought we could go one day without bickering."
"Thank you."
"I also organized a hunt for later today."
"A hunt?"
"Yes sire; we need to stock up on food before the army gets here."
Arthur knew he was mentioning it not because of their need to gather food, although that was very important. He knew that hunts were good for Arthur, that they got his mind and body both out of the castle and on the simple task of following prey and killing it.
But he didn't think it would help this time. Merlin always went on hunts with them, and while he yelled at the bumbling idiot, he knew that was part of the reason they calmed him down. It was easy, simple, a time with his friend outside of the constructs that the castle created.
"I'm afraid I won't be joining. I... have other duties to attend to."
Leon looked surprised for a moment before he seemed to understand. He nodded. "That's too bad. We would have benefited from your skill, but I'm sure we'll make do."
"Thank you, Leon. Really."
Leon nodded and bowed. "Sire." He smiled at Arthur, patted him once on the shoulder, and then left the throne room.
Arthur stared at his throne for a moment, thinking of simpler times when they hosted banquets and the hardest part of the night was getting Merlin to do his job well. But even that wasn't true. Right from the beginning, Merlin had been in danger. He'd saved Arthur from a dagger his first night in the hall. He'd drank poison in order to save Arthur's life. It had never really been simple with Merlin, but at least Arthur had been doing whatever necessary to save the boy. Now he was sitting in Camelot, halfheartedly planning for a war while Merlin was no doubt tortured by Morgana and her men. There was nothing he could do for Merlin right now.
Well. Arthur ran a hand through his hair. Planning for a war could be done for Merlin. Merlin would need a safe place to stay once he returned, after all. And what point was there having Merlin back if there was no kingdom or people?
Arthur left the room with renewed purpose, heading to the war room to again stare at the map and plan how best to defend his kingdom from Morgana. That was something he could do, something he was good at, and something he was determined not to fail at. He would protect Camelot. Merlin would come home to a good plan and a swift defeat of their enemies.
