Butterfly Kisses

Chapter 11~ Grey Ceiling on the Earth

"Wouldn't it be, like, really cool if you were talking to this guy, and his name was Mark, and you had a question…Cause then you could be, like, 'Question, Mark.'"

Hey again, thanks for the reviews. And for sharing all of the April Fool's Day stories. They made me laugh. :) Okay, so, I have this four-inch bruise on my shin that's in the shape of Africa. Well, I thought it was cool. One of my friends made fun of me and asked what possessed me to be like "I think I'm gonna stare at this bruise until I can see what shape it resembles…" but my brother thought it was cool. Not that you really care, just…ya know…I don't know. LOL, okay, so I think I know how I want this to go for the rest of this, and I'm thinking it's gonna be around 18 parts, give or take a couple. Just so you know. Okay…

"And this is the part that sucks," Chandler said, kissing Monica.

"Yeah, this is the part that sucks," Kayley repeated.

"Kayley!" both of her parents scolded, trying not to laugh.

"Don't say sucks," Chandler said as Monica lifted her up onto his bed.

"But you did."

"Well…I'm an adult."

"I can't wait till I'm an adult so I can say bad words. And do all the other stuff you're not supposed to do."

"Like what?"

"Well, Mommy always tells you to not do stuff, like put your feet up on the table in the living room and drink out of the juice carton and then put it back and then you do it anyways."

Chandler laughed, pulling her into his words in a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow, baby," he kissed her forehead.

"Butterfly kisses," Kayley said, almost automatically.

Chandler smiled, happily obliging. "I love you."

"Love you, Daddy," she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Bye."

"Bye," Chandler replied as Monica sat down on the bed next to him, handing him Felicia. He leaned down, kissing the baby on top of her head. Monica watched, and for the first time it occurred to her that this would be the first time he'd spend the night away from Felicia. "I love you," he murmured quietly, kissing her again.

"Bye, babe," Monica said, running her hand through his hair as she kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he replied sadly. "You'd probably better get going," he said after a couple of minutes. "You have to work tomorrow and Kayley has school."

Monica took a deep breath and nodded, determined not to cry. She kissed him again before standing up, helping Kayley get down before taking Felicia from Chandler.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she squeezed his hand. "Bye."

"Bye," he said one last time, blowing kisses back to Kayley when she blew him kisses as they walked out of the room.

Chandler sighed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He was alone. But even thought he was alone, he still refused to cry. Crying would be giving in to this. And he wasn't about to give in. But opening his eyes and looking around the empty room, his sight landing on the picture that Rachel had taken of the four of them on Christmas that was sitting on the bedside table, he sighed.

This was the part that sucked.

~*~

"Hey, you," Monica almost jumped at the sound of Chandler's voice.

"Hey," she smiled, looking up from the magazine that she'd been reading. "How you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess," he shrugged. "It's kind of late, what are you doing here?"

"Spending the night with you," she stood up, walking over to his bed.

"Where are Kayley and Felicia?"

"They're staying with Ross and Rachel," she sat down on the bed next to him.

"Why?"

"So that I can stay here with you, silly," she smiled at him.

"You don't have to, you know," he said, and she knew not to take it offensively.

"Yeah, I do," she whispered, lying down beside him. "I can't sleep without my teddy-bear." Chandler laughed, remembering that conversation. "And don't worry, the girls'll be fine with Ross and Rachel."

"I know," he mumbled, kissing the top of her head. "And in that case, I do need you to stay."

Monica smiled, resting her head against his chest, knowing that as much as he needed her to be there, she needed to be there with him as well.

~*~

"Good morning, Dr. Grace."

"Hey, Chandler. How are you feeling today?"

"Well, considering that fact that I've been puking all morning, just swell," he smiled at him.

"Did I see Monica here earlier?"

"Yeah, she just went to go get some coffee. She'll be back in a couple of minutes, why?"

"Well, I was hoping to talk to the two of you."

Chandler looked at him, uncertain and untrusting. "Why?"

"Well," he started, but was cut off when Monica walked back into the room.

"Hi, Dr. Grace," she smiled, seeing him.

"Hi, Monica, I was just hoping to talk to the both of you."

"Okay," Monica said slowly, leaning against the edge of the bed.

Dr. Grace took a deep breath, looking at both of them before starting. "Um, we've been doing the chemo for almost two weeks now, and although we don't expect complete recovery in that amount of time, we do usually see a response," he paused.

"Meaning…" Chandler looked at him.

The doctor looked back at him. These were the moments that he hated this. He hated having to tell anyone this. He didn't deserve to be told this. He wasn't even 40. He had two young children.

Taking a deep breath, he finally started again. "You've stopped responding to treatment."

"But how? I mean, it's making me sick like it did last time," Chandler looked at him.

"That's your body's response to the medication," he explained. "But the cancer hadn't responded this time."

Chandler closed his eyes, rubbing his temples as the doctor continued to speak.

"There is still the possibility of a bone marrow transplant, but first we'll need to find someone with whom you're compatible. Siblings are usually the best shots, if-"

"I'm an only child," he interrupted him.

"Well, we'll test your family, your friends, to see if anyone's a match. And if not, you'll get put on a list," he stopped again. "And there are some…experimental, if you will, treatments, but not here. There is a very promising one at a hospital in California…"

"How much longer?" Chandler asked. "Without the treatments, and if we couldn't find a donor, how much loner?" he looked at him.

"Weeks, months," he answered, honestly. "Leukemia is one of the most rapidly spreading cancers."

"And-and with the experimental treatment thing? How much longer would that make it?"

"It's not certain, they're just trials," he paused. "But honestly…weeks, months…"

Chandler shook his head. "Then…no," he said softly, and Monica turned to face him. Chandler closed his eyes, not able to take the pain reflected in her eyes as well as his own. "I mean, okay to the bone marrow transplant if you find a match…but if this-if this is…it, then…I-I want to be at home…with my family," he said quietly, voice shaky.

The doctor nodded, understanding. "We'll stop the chemo and give you a chance to recover a little from that…and then you can go home," he smiled slightly at them. "I'll give you some time alone," he turned to leave. "And, for what it's worth, I am sorry."

"Don't shoot the messenger, eh?" Chandler forced at smile, and he smiled back before shutting the door behind him.

Chandler laced his fingers through Monica's, squeezing her hand. She turned to face him, and they sat that way, staring back at each other in an unbearable silence, for what seemed like forever, until Monica finally broke down crying, and Chandler pulled her into his arms, letting her cry into his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut, burying his face in her hair, silently crying.

Monica pulled back slightly, looking at him. "It still has to be okay. I can't-I can't live without you," she said shakily. "You're my rock, I need you…" she trailed off, and he pulled her back into his arms, not sure what to say, not even sure that it was all going to be okay anymore. "You're my rock…"

To

Be

Continued…

Please review, I'll have the next part up as soon as I can :)