Chapter 11
Having it All
Olivia turned over on her other side, a movement she'd made countless times tonight, and tucked the bed sheet around her shoulder. She stretched out her leg and felt the warmth of Fitz's calf against the underside of her foot. Not wanting to wake him, she tried to stop her restlessness. Soon her neck felt uncomfortable and she wanted to adjust the pillow. She tried to ignore the discomfort and will herself back to sleep. She'd even take the sound of her alarm since she was already wide awake. After a few seconds, she leaned over and picked up her cell phone, checking to see if she had reset her alarm. A scowl crossed her face at the time. Three forty-five! I can't stay in this bed for another two hours, she thought, placing the phone back on the bedside table and turning the pillow over.
Olivia was as restless as a child on Christmas Eve night. Instead of excitement over presents, she was anxious about her first day as Director of Community Partnerships at CII. She flipped over on her back, staring at the ceiling and the narrow band of moonlight peeking through the drapes. This was her first real full time job. All her other employment had been part time during high school and college. Even her part time work at CII didn't seem like real work. It had been akin to a hobby, something she did just for herself apart from Fitz and the kids. Now she was a bundle of emotions about it all. Could she handle work and juggle everything else especially now that Fiona was finally opening up to her? That breakthrough had been only three short days ago on Friday night. She couldn't lose the ground they had gained so she spent the entire day with Fiona on Saturday. Lifting Fiona's driving restrictions and letting her transport them to the mall for shopping, lunch, and a movie. She insisted that Fitz cancel his business travel plans so he could be with Gerry, Binti, and Bakari.
On Sunday after church, the children each had their own demands for her, but she had sent them to their dad. Gerry needed a ride to his friend's house to work on a project. Binti produced a crumbled up school notice dated two weeks ago about an upcoming Colonial Days in 2 days. She needed a costume, ingredients for making butter, and a completed project by Wednesday. Even Bakari need help with his leaf project that was due Monday. Olivia picked up on the irritation in Fitz's voice when he responded, "Sure. I got it babe," to her request that he further delay his business plans. Asking for help like this was unfamiliar to her but felt strangely satisfying. In the past, she'd never asked him to help out with the kids to the exclusion of his own plans. She'd always found a way to juggle it all by getting help from Natalie, another parent, or other family member.
Olivia and Fiona spent Sunday day together as well. Fiona went with her to the hair salon. They decided to got to a nail shop afterwards where Fiona had been full of questions.
"Mom, why do you always get your hair straightened?" Fiona had asked.
Olivia, who had her head propped back on the nail chair, as the nail technician was scrubbing her feet, looked over at Fiona who was looking directly at her.
"What do you mean? My hair is not straight, really. Add some steam or water and my hair will return to nappy land in a couple of seconds," said Olivia with a smile as she admired Fiona's waves.
"Like mine? Maybe I should straighten my hair because—" Fiona said.
"No, Fiona. Your hair is beautiful. Water makes your hair wavy. You can straighten it with the blow dryer. A flat iron will damage it over time. When I was in college, I rarely straightened my hair. I wore it in twists, cornrows…I experimented a lot—"
"What changed then? When did you start straightening it?" Fiona asked.
Olivia tilted her head to the side as if she was looking for the answer. "Well, after I had you, I had no time for my hair. I found a salon and that was that," said Olivia with a smile.
When a pained expression crossed Fiona's face, Olivia grabbed her hand. "Sweetie, no. It wasn't because of you. I had different priorities. My hair was very low on the list. It was easier to get it straightened and move on. Doing hair was always an event for my friends in college. Abby, Miriam, and I would make a Friday night of it," she said.
Fiona perked up. "I remember them. They were cool. They used to come to my birthday parties. Do you talk to them anymore?"
"It's been about a year. After they sent you the presents for your 17th birthday, we played phone tag and I…time got away. I think I'll have to call them," Olivia said.
Olivia had enjoyed every minute of their time together. They almost escaped any arguments until Olivia broached the subject of Pearl. When Fiona became defensive, she had steered the conversation to safer ground.
Olivia sighed deeply and turned on her other side now facing Fitz. Even in the darkness she could see he was awake and staring at her.
"Can't sleep?" he said.
"No. My mind won't calm down. I keep thinking about Fiona and work," she said.
"You two had a good two days together, right? Everything is going to be okay with our daughter, Livy," he said, rubbing her shoulder.
"I know, but she's 17 and she seems so fragile emotionally, not like she tries to come off Fitz. I sometimes wonder... did I do that to her?" she said beginning to worry.
"No, Livy. How could you have done anything to her? You've been a loving, nurturing, and caring mother to her. Even now…look how you two are working through everything…" he said.
"But it's only been two days, Fitz, and I haven't gotten to the bottom of this thing with Pearl. I tried to to talk to her about it yesterday, but she became defensive. I know she's going to hate me all over again if she finds out I'm going to talk to Pearl's mom tomorrow," Olivia predicted.
Fitz moved closer. "Do you think that's a good idea…talking to her on your first day at work? Maybe it will work itself out. Fiona could be telling the truth. They just had a falling out and maybe Fiona overreacted and offended Pearl's mom. You know how Fiona can get…"
"It took a lot of convincing to get Mrs. Adekunde to agree to meet with me. I'm going over there right after work. You're going to have to pick up Bakari for me," Olivia said.
Fitz frowned. "About that, Livy…I won't be able to pick him up. I have to fly to Atlanta today. I've ignored work for the last to days. I'll call Natalie or you can let Fiona start driving again. You lifted her restrictions since she isn't with that knucklehead. She can pick up Bakari," he said.
Olivia crinkled her brows as well. "We're going to have to have a talk about juggling our work and the kids, Fitz…now that I'm working. I don't want to put the responsibility of picking up Bakari on a 17 year old. And I hate asking Natalie and Elliott to help all the time…"
"Why? They love it…" he said.
Olivia rolled her eyes and said, "Okay, I'll work it out." She loved her in-laws but they could be overwhelming at times especially when it came to the kids. They rarely asked her if they wanted to give them a gift. They just gave it to them. When she was around the Grants she always felt smothered, sheltered, or indulged as if she was still that young, naïve coed who Fitz chose to marry and bear his children. They only talked to her about the kids and their activities. Over the years, she managed at family functions by keeping busy around the kitchen and making sure everyone had what they needed. Since Thanksgiving was just around the corner she was excited about having something to share from her life aside from Fitz and the kids.
Fitz moved on top of her as she contemplated these things. "Honey, you need to relax and go to sleep so you'll be ready for your big day. I know just what to do," he said planting kisses down her neck.
"Don't turn off my alarm, Fitz. I mean it. I have a lot to do in the morning. I need the extra time," she said.
He didn't answer as he continued his kissing descent.
Olivia snuggled deeper into the pillow and stretched. Her eyes flickered open. The clock beamed, 7:00, back at her.
"Shit!" she cursed. "I know he turned off my alarm just like I told him not to." She confirmed that when she scrolled through her phone.
She hopped out of bed and threw her thick robe over her naked body. Fitz had worked his magic to make her sleep, but had made the high handed decision to let her sleep longer. Hurrying downstairs, she heard voices in the kitchen.
"Mommy, you didn't get me ready for school this morning 'cause Daddy said you needed to sleep for your first day at work. Will you get me ready tomorrow," asked Bakari.
Everyone but Fiona sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast.
Fitz winked at her. Olivia ignored him and gave Bakari a kiss on the cheek. "Good morning, Sweetie-pie. Of course I'll get you ready for school tomorrow. Your leaf project looks great!"
"Mom, I don't like the costume dad found. It's ugly. Can we go out today after school and look for another one?" Binti said with a pout.
"Yes, Binti, but you realize our options are limited since you gave us the notice so late—"
Binti frowned. "Can I ask aunt Natalie if she knows someone who can make me a dress with ruffles. She probably knows someone through her craft store," she said.
"How is it going with the model of the colonial village? Will it and your paper be ready in time?" Olivia asked.
"Oh yes, Mom. I've been working on that for almost two weeks," Binti said.
"Mom, I'm totally finished with my project," said Gerry, steering the conversation to him. "I've written my paper and I typed it."
Olivia squeezed his shoulders. "That's good, Ger. Where is the model?" she asked.
"I left it over Kevin's house. His mom is going to transport it to school. I wasn't sure if you could with today being your first day at work and all, Mom," Gerry explained.
His words stung Olivia a little, but she was happy she didn't have to be responsible for transporting a gigantic model of DNA to Gerry's school.
Olivia walked over to Fitz. "Did Fiona get off on the bus okay?" she asked.
"I let her drive like we discussed last night. I'm taking everyone to school this morning then I'm on a flight to Atlanta. Natalie is going to get Bakari from the day care for us. You'll have to pick him up from her house…or she'll drop him off when you get home," he explained.
"We didn't come to any conclusions about her driving last night other than me saying I will work it out, Fitz," she said only loud enough for him to hear. "Do you know if she has anything after school today? Did you tell her to come straight home?"
"Well…I…I assumed she knew to come straight home…I'm sorry, honey. I was trying—"
Olivia interrupted him before he could finish. "When will you be back from your trip?" she asked impatiently.
"Either late tonight or tomorrow afternoon. I'll let you know as soon as I know," he said.
"Have a safe trip," she said evenly, "I should go get dressed." She tried to turn away to give the kids one last kiss before she left.
He grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "Are you mad at me?" he whispered in her ear.
If she were truthful with herself and with him, she would have said yes. Once again, he was making decisions for her and not consulting her first. Making love was nice, but he shouldn't have turned off her alarm. Arranging the kids' transportation to and from school helped her out, but she didn't want to involve Natalie unless she had no other choice. She wanted to talk to Fiona before she gave her the keys.
"Fitz, I'm tense about today. I'll be fine. Thanks for helping out," she said.
He kissed her on the lips. "Livy, we are in this together. You're going to do well today. Don't worry about Fiona or the kids. Today is your day. I'll see you later," he said.
Olivia gave each child another kiss and ran upstairs to get ready.
It was only noon, but Olivia felt like she'd been at work a full day. She'd been in meetings most of the morning and was now headed to a meeting with the Mayor. It was her job to get him to join the board of CII. This would be no easy feat. They hadn't been successful getting a major politician on the board. It was not an election year so she didn't have that as leverage. She was sitting in the foyer of the Mayor's office waiting for him to appear. After 30 minutes, a young African American man appeared.
"Right this way Mrs. Grant. Sorry to keep you waiting," he said smoothly, smiling down at her cordially. Olivia smiled back and followed him down the corridor. She observed his dark blue suit and black wing tips. His appearance screamed youthful, efficient, and professional. He was probably single, 2 or 3 years out of college, well traveled, and on his way to fulfilling whatever professional dream he had created. As she surveyed his wide shoulders, she was overcome with an intense feeling of jealousy at this unknown man. She wanted to trade places with him. Instead of being a 30 something married woman with 4 kids just now starting a career she would be an unattached 20 something man with the world at his feet.
Olivia was so caught up in her day dreams that she didn't realize they had walked into an office.
"Please have a seat," he said.
Olivia pushed her nails into her palm to pull herself back to reality and took a seat in the leather arm chair. He extended his hand and said, "Mrs. Grant. I'm Alex Wells, Mayor Franklin's Chief of Staff. He was called out of town for an emergency meeting. He asked me to meet with you about the board position."
Now that Olivia could clearly see him. She noticed how handsome he was. She still imagined him single but probably in a serious relationship with some equally accomplished young woman who was smart enough not to get knocked up in college. Olivia's jealousy increased to the point of dislike. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"So…Mayor Franklin wants me to explain the position to you? I think it would be better if I rescheduled with him. You can have his secretary call my assistant…possibly set something up for next week," Olivia said, hastily rising from her seat.
"Mrs. Grant, please, you misunderstand. Mayor Franklin won't be able to devote time to serving on the board of the Community Improvement Initiative. He is still committed to its mission. As a compromise, he wants me to serve in his place as a surrogate for him. I would represent the Mayor's office. You'd get the same support as you seek," he explained.
He was stationed in his office chair waiting for her response. She was frowning at him now. "Oh I see what this is, Mr. Wells. It's not an election year so Mayor Franklin doesn't have time to devote to this so he's sending a surrogate who probably won't be present most of the time since he'll be too busy doing the mayor's bidding in other more lucrative endeavors. I think CII will pursue other members who have adequate time to devote to our efforts. As we achieve our goals, I'll make sure the media knows that the improvement of this city was so low on the Mayor's list of priorities," Olivia said, matter of factly.
Alex's broad smile surprised her. "Wow, you sure do play hardball Mrs. Grant, a sure sign that you are a veteran at dealing with politicians. If you promise to reconsider what you share with the media, I'll talk to the Mayor Franklin about serving directly. How does that sound?" he asked, moving back around his desk to stand before her. He extended his hand.
Olivia took his hand in a hearty shake. "That sounds acceptable, Mr. Wells."
As she stood there shaking his hand, she felt a keen sense of satisfaction at what she had accomplished.
Olivia took a sip of the tea Pearl's mother offered her when she had let her inside her home. She looked at Beatrice over her tea cup. She was looking down at her feet. The room was painfully tense but not with anger. That's what Olivia had noticed when Beatrice greeted her. It was more sadness or maybe shame, but not anger. Olivia didn't know whether to be relieved or worried about this. It was nearing 7 and Olivia needed to get home. She wondered where Pearl and her brother were. She figured Beatrice's husband was out of town as usual.
"Beatrice, thank you for agreeing to talk with me. I'm really wanting to get to the truth of what happened that night. Pearl and Fiona have been friends for a long time. You and I both know that friends fight. But based on how everything happened it seemed like more than a fight. Could you give me some insight into what this is all about. It's really scaring me that you aren't saying anything…your demeanor…Beatrice…we've known each other just as long as the girls have and…"
Beatrice shook her head and threw up her hand. "Olivia, this is really difficult for me and I'm trying to get my bearings. So please stop talking and give me a minute more…"
Olivia raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Okay, Beatrice. Take all the time you need," she said.
Five minutes later Beatrice started talking.
"Olivia, you are right. My Peal and your Fiona have been friends for a long time. But that must stop. On Friday, I..I…caught them having…sex in Pearl's bed. I actually walked in on them twice. The first time Pearl's bedroom was unlocked and I stood there shocked…I…I….turned around and walked out. About 15 minutes later, I came back intent on breaking it up and confronting them, but the door was locked. I used my key and Pearl pretended like there was a boy in the room with Fiona. I played along, but I of course knew the truth as I had clearly seen it. They are—"
"What? Beatrice you must be mistaken about what you saw. You know how girls are. They were just being affectionate and—" Olivia interjected.
"I know what I saw, Olivia! That was not friendly affection. They were… I'm not going to go into details…I know what I saw. They think I'm mad at Fiona for having a boy over here. I played along because I didn't know what to do. I'm not against that…lifestyle…but I don't want that for my daughter. Her father would… I don't know what he'd do, Olivia. I just know we have to keep them apart. It's probably a phase or something your daughter is going through and she's pulling my Pearl along with her. You know how Pearl has always worshipped her even when she was so mean to her when they first met. If you would just keep them separated, it would go away. I know it," pleaded Beatrice.
Olivia felt a searing disdain for Beatrice. "I don't trust that you know what you saw Beatrice, but I do know that you are accusing my daughter of something you know nothing about. Regardless of what you saw why didn't you talk to me about this before now? And you are allowing this deception to continue at my daughter's expense. Unlike this, I plan to talk to my daughter about this directly. I'm feel sorry for you. You are living in fear instead of talking to your daughter honestly about what you think you saw. Thanks for the tea, Beatrice."
As Olivia walked out of Beatrice's house, she felt like a hypocrite. She had accused Beatrice of deception, but she too had played a part. When Beatrice revealed what she saw, Olivia wasn't surprised. Her mind replayed countless times when she'd seem them be affectionate in a way that intimated something more. It wasn't each individual instance but all of them put together that set a clear pattern of behavior. Olivia wondered why she had never talked to Fitz about this. She wonders if he had ever noticed anything between Fiona and Pearl.
Her day was ending even worse than it had begun. She was filled with anxiety because she had no idea how to handle this.
Her phone chimed alerting her to incoming text messages. She glanced at them. There were 3.
Miriam: I'm in town tomorrow. We have to meet! I have some news to share, girl! Give me a call.
Fiona: Can I drive Pearl home? Her mom is late picking her up from the library. I'll just drop her off at home. OK?
Natalie: I took Gerry, Binti, and Bakari to my house. Fiona is here too. They can spend the night here if you want. Fiona wants to pick up a friend from the library. I told her to text you. Call me.
Olivia was mentally paralyzed as she read the texts. Her phone rang and she answered without thinking.
"Hello?" she said.
"Mrs. Grant, good evening. This is Alex Wells, Mayor Franklin's Chief of Staff. I hope I'm not intruding. I won't be long. I'm pleased to announce that Mayor Franklin would be honored to be on the board of CII. Could you come back to my office tomorrow so we can get the board meeting dates on his calendar? I'd love to hear more about CII as well," he said.
"Ok," Olivia said.
"Wonderful," he said, "See you tomorrow."
