One more time, thank you all for the favs and the reviews! I'm so so so so so happy you're liking my story! Keep it up! :D
I want to thank the lovely Ladyamesindy for being so nice with me, betatesting the first chapter of this fic. Unfortunately she can't do it anymore, but luckily another super awesome lady offered me her precious help: Jules Hawk! She's an amazing writer, if you haven't read her works, I really suggest you to do it!
Chapter 11
08/22/2186 – Normandy SR-2, Starboard Observation
"Welcome aboard, Major."
"Aye, aye, ma'am."
Finally he made it: Kaidan Alenko is back on duty on the Normandy.
This is not the same ship he used to know almost three years ago – it is twice as big, with many technological improvements and much more comfortable. Yet, he's looking for places which can remind him of the good times on the old SR-1 to help him feel more at ease.
It is Kaidan's third day aboard, but the awkward sensation is still there. He managed to find a quiet room where he can work on his Spectre reports, the Starboard Observation. Nevertheless, he can't concentrate, and deep inside his heart he knows that the problem is not the new Normandy or its new crew.
"Major Alenko," the AI's voice calls him.
"Yes, EDI?"
"Lieutenant Vega is looking for you; may I tell him where to find you?"
"What does he want from me?" he asks, a little worried.
"He and Jeff are arranging a poker session."
He lets out a relieved laugh. "Tell them I'll join them as soon as I finish my paperwork."
"Roger, Major."
Lieutenant James Vega. Since the day of his Spectre ceremony, Alenko can't get rid of the bad impression he had about the muscular soldier. And what occurred two days ago only made the situation worse.
Kaidan is on the Engineering Deck, finally free after an awfully boring interview with Allers, who wanted to know more about the Second Human Spectre. He's quite annoyed, given that the dark haired journalist seemed to be more interested in his personal life than in his career. He noticed she winked at him with a flirtatious smile, and she stared at his back when he left her room, though he acted like nothing happened. He just wanted to run away from her.
Obviously she wasn't the first person who showed interest towards him. He is aware he's an attractive man, yet, he never minded about that very much; since he enlisted in the Alliance, he always has been completely focused on his duty. He had occasional sexual partners, nothing serious. Then, he met Shepard and his world turned upside down. He tried to not fall for her, but the sentiment growing between the two of them was too strong to resist. She is the only woman he ever wanted in his life, even when he thought she was dead. And he still wants her so badly it hurts.
Alenko's waiting for the elevator when something captures his attention. He turns towards the window to have a peek down into the Shuttle bay, to find Vega and the Commander having a friendly fight.
She is wearing a simple N7 sweat suit close fitting to her curvy body, while her hair is tied in a long ponytail that waves following her graceful movements. She seems to be very focused, almost angry in each punch she gives to James – the big muscular marine is definitely succumbing to her fury.
Oh God, she is so beautiful. Kaidan is breathless.
The elevator announces its presence with a beep, and, without realizing what he's doing, he steps into it and presses the button to the lower deck, caught in his need of her.
When he arrives, they have already finished the fight. The Lieutenant is sitting on the floor and Shepard is stretching her arms above her head.
"Commander, do you miss some… male company? Just ask!" James tells her and the Major's heart almost stops.
"Thanks for the offer, but I'm a demanding woman, I don't think you'll be able to satisfy me, big boy." she replies, turns and sees Alenko. He meets her eyes and watches as hers widen in surprise.
"Perhaps do you have someone else specific in your mind, Lola?" A teasing smile appears on Vega's face.
Shepard's cheeks redden and she moves her gaze to focus somewhere else, coaxing a bothered groan from Kaidan.
"Well then, Lieutenant. So, you are willing to clean the men's restroom on the Crew's Deck for the rest of the week. Excellent." she says as she enters the elevator, ignoring James' reply and without another look at other man.
Vega gets up from the floor and comes near the Major. "Hey. Did you enjoy the show? She is very hot, isn't she?"
"Do you think it is appropriate to talk like that about your commanding officer?" he asks, pissed.
"Where's the problem? I always tell Lola that she's a crazy sexy woman, it's the truth." The biotic can't deny he is right, yet listening to the younger man calling Shepard 'Lola' makes the rage burn bright inside his chest.
"Or maybe you are jealous, Major?" That damned grin is still on his face.
"Mind your own business, Lieutenant." Alenko growls at him and James bursts into laughter.
"Come on, Kaidan. We're all waiting for you in the Port Observation." Jeff's voice through the comm-link wakes him up from his memories.
"Ok, ok. I'm coming. Are you so eager to lose all your money, Joker?"
"I am eager to have all your credits in my pocket, Mr. Spectre."
Kaidan chuckles and exits the room. Stepping through the mess his eyes linger on EDI, who's sitting at a table, chatting with Doctor Chakwas, and he feels his biotic implants buzz: he is definitely not at ease with her new body.
Shepard has just officially accepted his request to be part of the crew of the Normandy again, and now they're entering in the cockpit to speak with Joker.
"Ooooh there you are finally, Kaidan– err– Major Alenko. How about time. Haven't you learned that aiming a gun against your ex-CO isn't a good thing?" Jeff says with his usual sardonic grin.
"Shut up, this isn't a joke. That situation wasn't fun at all!" Shepard shouts at him.
"Joker, if I'm back on the Normandy it's only because I couldn't live without your terrific sense of humor." Kaidan tries to lighten the tension and change the topic of discussion, though he's well aware he will pay for his past mistrust.
"Aye aye, Major." The pilot smiles at him. "I'm happy to have you back here. Like old times, right?"
"I hope so." Alenko glances toward Shepard with a gaze full of desire, while her expression is imperturbable, while she's busy typing on a panel next to her.
Moreau notices his look but the words die on his lips when a faint beep announces that the door is opening.
The Major freezes in place, his body caught by terror and his implant crackling violently: in front of him is the mech that almost killed him on Mars.
The blue aura of his powers burns brightly, ready to attack it, yet the fear keeps his body petrified. A dark despair is growing inside him as he finds himself unable to react, then suddenly two warm hands move to cover his cheeks, forcing his head to focus in another direction. Shepard is staring at him with her intense sky-blue eyes, locking them onto his.
"Kaidan, calm down. She isn't Doctor Eva anymore. EDI took command of this body days ago. We ran all the tests needed, she has full control of it. It's all right, you don't have to be afraid. She is not going to hurt you. Nothing is going to hurt you anymore, I promise." Her tone is soft and sweet, her face is a few inches from his, Alenko can feel her breath on his chin. He's totally hypnotized by her, his muscles relaxing and his biotics fading away. The only purpose in his mind now is to draw her body flush against his own and kiss her, though the Commander is already walking away from him, and his attempt to stop her fails miserably.
"I didn't mean to scare you, Major." EDI apologizes, pulling his attention to the mech's body once again.
"It's– it's ok. Thanks EDI." He forces a little smile, despite the unpleasant chill running down his spine.
"Don't worry, my friend. I'll take care of you now." Joker gently pats on his shoulder. "Follow me; we're going to have a tour of the new Normandy, my baby."
While Kaidan is opening the door of the Port Observation, a thought makes his stomach tremble: perhaps Shepard will be at the poker table, too. But, unfortunately, there are only Jeff, James and Garrus.
With a sigh he sits near the pilot, ready to play.
"There you are Major Alenko." James greets him with a smile.
And there he is.
"What a pity the Commander didn't join us for a game," Moreau says while shuffling the deck. "She's too busy with work."
"Actually, Shepard is in her quarters, watching an old human vid I found for her this morning." EDI corrects him.
Joker raises his eyebrows, amazed, and Vega laughs again. "Yeah, sure. She has 'to work'. Oh come on, she doesn't really believe we didn't notice that she's shying away from everyone, does she?"
"Stop it James. If she wants to be alone, she has her reasons." Garrus scolds him.
The Major gets upset by their words. He did notice that the Commander had begun to avoid him since the episode in the Shuttle Bay, though he hoped he was wrong.
So she is hiding from me, after all.
"Come on, Scars. You may have better ideas than mine about what's on her mind these days. Am I the only one who is worried about her? Damn it! I spent six months hearing her singing sad love songs, watching old tear-jerker vids, sighing every time she glanced at a mysterious picture frame turned face-down on her desk. I almost asked Admiral Anderson if there was a mistake; I couldn't believe she was the badass Commander Shepard, the Savior of the Citadel, the first Human Spectre, a N7 operative. She was like a ghost. So please, don't try to fucking hush me, I've a right to be concerned about her." The Lieutenant's speech is like a knife plunged into Kaidan's heart.
"Do you think I am not concerned as well?" Vakarian replies, "She is my best friend. She's the person I've trusted most in my entire life. Nevertheless, I know her, I know that she wants her privacy, and she's aware that I will always be there for her if she needs me. I know what's on her mind, of course I do. Yet, there's nothing that me or you or Joker can do about it." With that, he turns towards Alenko with a scorching look in his eyes.
"Well, I guess we're done with our poker tonight. We better go rest now." Jeff gets up from his seat and asks Vega to follow him, leaving Garrus and the biotic alone in the room.
"Listen Kaidan. I don't understand what you are thinking. I only know what happened on Horizon, how everything you said to Shepard made her heart break. I also know you were completely shattered when she died, though, and I can only imagine how much you've suffered for her loss. That's why I can't blame you for your behavior. Still, I will always stay at the Commander's side. And now that you're in her life again, she's confused and afraid of you."
"Afraid of me?" Kaidan is astonished.
"Of course she is. You mistrusted her so many times; she doesn't have a clue about how to interact with you anymore."
"I've made my mistakes. I am aware of that. I tried to apologize to her – to talk to her several times, but she never replied. I thought she didn't want me anymore. When she accepted me back as a part of the Normandy's crew, I was hoping that it would give us a chance to resolve our problems. And I was glad about that. Then, all she's done since is avoid me. What am I supposed to do?"
"Only you can find the answer. The only thing that I can tell you is that if you two don't find a way out of this mess, if you'll make her suffer again… You'll deal with me, Alenko." Vakarian's glacial tone leaves no doubt about his intentions.
The Port Observation is silent, there is only Kaidan seated at the empty poker table. His head is heavy, his heart aches and his limbs are weak.
"I spent six months hearing her singing sad love songs, watching old tear-jerker vids, sighing every time she glanced at a mysterious picture frame turned face-down on her desk."
"Now that you're in her life again, she's confused and afraid of you."
His mind wanders through all the things he and Shepard said to one another, through all his feelings for her, through all his worries and his hopes.
Time passes and he just sits there, without moving. Suddenly the door of the room opens and the woman of his dreams steps inside. Without a single glimpse at the poker table, she goes straight to the bar and grabs a bottle of liquor.
Alenko catches his breath, not knowing what to do. He can't see her face – she's sitting on a bar stool, her back to him . She's dressed in a pair of purple sweatpants and a black shirt, her long cherry red hair tied in loose pony tail that almost reaches her loins.
He stays still, staring at her in adoration, remembering how much he loved playing with her crimson locks, which are now so much longer than he remembered.
What should I do now? Call her name? She could run away again, I don't want that.
In the meantime, Shepard starts fiddling with her omni-tool. "There it is," she murmurs and starts to sing softly.
« Celebrate
I'm alive again… »
Kaidan is petrified, enraptured by the woman in front of him. During the shore leave they spent together, after the Battle of the Citadel, she used to sing lovely melodies to him from her youth on Mindoir. Ever since her death, there has not been a single day where he didn't miss her sweet voice lulling him.
The song finishes and the redhead turns her attention to the liquor, taking a second bottle given that she's emptied the first one. Then, abruptly, she slams the glass on the table and gets up from the bar stool, but her knees buckle and she falls on the floor. Low whimpers begin to come from her: she's crying, slowly at first, and soon she becomes desperate. She grips her long hair with her hands, her head turned down and her breath interrupted by agonizing sobs.
Alenko can't stand it anymore. A rush of anxiety and concern invades him, so he abandons his chair and dashes to her, taking her hands in his, making her raise her head. When her sky-blue eyes meet his, they're full of tears and open wide in shock.
"Shepard…"
