(A/N): It finally uploaded! Huzzah! Seriously, did anyone else have trouble with this? Ah, well. Ok, first off, the story is not finished. But I am taking a bit of a break. Just wanted to let everyone know, because a lot of people have commented on the (insane) pace at which I update - I need time to regroup. Also, a huge thanks to those who've reviewed, you guys make my day!
Disclaimer: Still nope.
A Pretty Good Place to Be
Sora tugged absently at a spike of hair as he studied the two stones cradled in his palm. With a small smile, he held the blue stone out to Roxas. "Here."
"Thanks," Roxas muttered, rolling it nervously in his fingers. He glanced at his cousin out of the corner of his eye. "It was a good match," he grinned. "Where'd you learn to fight like that?" Sora shrugged.
"I don't know," he sighed, resting his head against the wall. "I was just…mad, you know?" Roxas nodded uncomfortably, eyes trained on his hands. There was a short silence, neither boy looking at one another. "So, what Seifer said," Sora began hesitantly, turning his head to gaze at Roxas. "You and Axel…?"
Roxas flushed and glanced away, hand tightening around the crystal. Sora sighed and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, look at me, Rox." When Roxas reluctantly turned his gaze back to his cousin, Sora nodded. "Just – just tell me, ok?"
Roxas swallowed thickly and nodded. "We met about a month ago," he muttered. "I ran into him on the street, and – I mean, we both…" He trailed off, glancing to the side.
"What?" Roxas managed a small grin as he turned back to the brunette. Sora was regarding him solemnly, one leg tucked underneath him, the other swinging slightly, his heel kicking against the bench's leg.
"How can you be so calm about this?" Roxas chuckled thinly. Sora blinked, a small smile lighting his features before he shrugged.
"I am surprised," he admitted, eyes flicking over to where Axel and Namine were disappearing through the door. "I always thought you and Namine would, you know, wind up together." Roxas laughed softly.
"Yeah." He shrugged, wincing as his back clenched. He glanced over at the door. "It just…didn't happen," he said softly.
Sora made a soft noise in the back of his throat, reaching up and tugging at his hair again. "Well, yeah, she's like your sister, right? But I never would've guessed you and Axel were, well…" He trailed off, biting his lip as he returned his gaze to Roxas. Roxas fidgeted uncomfortably.
"Look, if it bothers you –"
Sora blinked again, eyes widening before they narrowed in frustration. "Roxas, I don't care about that, ok? I just – what's going on with you two? I never would've guessed you guys were a couple if Seifer hadn't –"
"We're not," Roxas muttered harshly. "A couple," he added when Sora frowned at him in confusion. Sora's eyes narrowed further before he sighed deeply, tilting his head back and rubbing at his temples.
"Roxas." His tone was impossibly gentle, but Roxas could sense his cousin's underlying frustration. "Talk to me."
Roxas glanced down at his feet, trying to order his thoughts. "I don't – I don't know what to say," he sighed. "It's really complicated, ok?"
"Do you love him?"
Roxas's head shot up, his mouth falling open as he gaped at his cousin. "What?"
Sora's gaze didn't waver. He tilted his head to the side, eyes locked with Roxas's. "Do you love him?" he repeated, voice gentle.
Roxas glanced away with a hoarse chuckle. "It's not that simple, Sora," he muttered.
"Why?" Sora frowned as Roxas turned away from him, scowling. Leaning forward, he reached out and gently turned the blond back to face him. "Why isn't it that simple? It's not that hard a question, Rox. Do you love him?"
Roxas laughed harshly. "Not that hard a question?" He dragged his hands through his hair, trying to avoid his cousin's gaze.
"Look at me, Rox," Sora insisted gently. When Roxas still wouldn't look at him, he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Ok, let's try this – do you like him?" Roxas hesitated, one hand still fisted in his hair. "Do you like being with him?" Roxas nodded hesitantly. Sora pushed himself up and came to stand in front of him, waiting until the blond grudgingly glanced up to continue. "So why is it such a problem to think you might love him?" Roxas shook his head.
"It's not – it's just not that simple, Sora," he murmured, throat clenching.
Sora sighed heavily. "Ok," he relented. He leaned forward, resting his hands on his thighs. "Look, Roxas, I can't help if you won't tell me what's going on. But…" He took a deep breath, poking one finger gently against Roxas's forehead. "But if it helps, I think Axel cares about you. A lot." Roxas batted his finger away, scowling.
"When did you get to be such an expert?" Roxas muttered. Sora flushed and glanced to the side for a moment.
"Shut up," he murmured, smiling softly. Roxas's eyes widened at his expression.
"Sora?"
His cousin's smile widened before he straightened, running a hand through his hair. "Roxas, if you could've seen the two of you when you were sitting on this stupid bench…" He trailed off, leaning forward again and staring intently at Roxas. "It was like you were the only two people in the room. Why are you being such an idiot about it?" Roxas sighed and tangled his fingers in his hair.
"Why are you so fixated on this?" he complained. "Does it matter?" Sora swatted him lightly over the head, ignoring Roxas's indignant yelp.
"Of course it matters, Roxas," he sighed. "If you could've seen your expression when you were sitting here with Axel, you'd know why it matters." Roxas flushed and tried to turn away, but Sora reached out and gently caught his shoulder.
"I don't – I don't know, Sora, ok? I really, really don't. Just – please, I don't want to talk about this anymore." Sora sighed and nodded, stepping back.
"Well, at least that's an answer," he murmured, running his hands through his hair.
Without another word, he helped Roxas to stand and let his cousin lean on him as they headed for the doors. Seifer and his gang were slouched against the wall, and Rai leapt forward as they passed.
"Hey, Seifer was just tired today, y'know!" he started heatedly. "He'd never –" He paused as Seifer laid a hand against his shoulder, smirking at Sora and Roxas.
"It was a good match," he said, smirk widening. "But a tournament's only half the story. We should do it again sometime." He turned away, Fuu and Vivi falling into step behind him. Rai glanced between his friends and Sora and Roxas before he turned and ran after Seifer, a confused expression on his face. Roxas and Sora looked at one another and grinned before they stepped outside.
Roxas leaned against the doorframe as Sora went back inside for their coats. His friends were knotted together in a tense group, talking quietly among themselves. He flinched and began to sidle away from them. He didn't want to talk anymore. He didn't want to have to avoid their questions. He closed his eyes as long fingers rested lightly against his neck and warm breath ghosted over his ear.
"Roxas? Are you ok?"
"You never let me sneak away," he muttered, leaning back against him. He could smell the cigarette Axel had just finished and hear the startled hitch in Axel's breath as his hand tightened marginally against his neck.
"What?"
Not bothering to answer, Roxas turned and latched onto the front of Axel's coat, resting his head against Axel's chest. "Roxas, what…?" The redhead trailed off uncertainly, bringing his arms up and circling Roxas's shoulders in an awkward hug. Roxas sagged against him, sighing heavily, and Axel rested his cheek against the top of Roxas's head, raising a hand to run his fingers through the younger boy's hair. "Shit, Roxas, what happened?"
"Roxas?"
Roxas stiffened at Namine's voice, and he felt Axel sigh before the redhead began to pull away from him. For a second, Roxas considered letting him go before he clenched his eyes shut and tightened his fingers around Axel's trench coat. "Please…" The word was so small and choked he doubted Axel could hear it, but the redhead paused before he sighed heavily, wrapping his arms around him again.
Roxas sighed deeply before he stepped back with a small smile, wrapping an arm around Axel's waist and leaning against him as Namine jogged up to them, with Sora following close behind. Axel blinked at him, clearly confused, but Roxas just shook his head, grinning.
Sora's eyes brightened as he took in the arm Roxas had wrapped around Axel's waist, grinning as he handed his cousin his jacket. Namine brushed Roxas's hair out of his face with a soft smile. "We're going over to Olette's to celebrate," she murmured. "Do you guys want to come?"
Roxas shook his head, tightening his arm around Axel's waist. "Thanks guys, but I just…" He trailed off, glancing up at Axel. The redhead glanced down at him, wrapping a hesitant arm around his shoulders, and Sora's grin gentled into a soft smile.
"We'll tell everybody you're not coming," he said, turning and heading back to the group. Namine nodded, turning to follow him.
"Hey, Sora?"
His cousin turned back at Roxas's voice. Roxas ducked his head, his eyes flicking up to rest on Sora's face. "Thanks," he muttered. Sora nodded before he turned away again, bounding up to the small knot of his friends and herding them away from the convention center. Axel glanced down at Roxas and cocked an eyebrow.
"What the hell was that?" he asked, tightening his hold on Roxas as the blond sighed.
"You got your talk, I got mine," he muttered. "Can we – can we go back to your place? I need to sit." Axel nodded silently, leading him away from the convention center.
"So what did Sora want?" he asked, voice tight. Roxas sighed.
"He wanted to know what was going on with us," he said quietly. He felt Axel tense.
"What did you tell him?" Roxas hesitated, biting at his lip.
"That I don't know," he muttered hoarsely.
"Oh." Axel didn't say another word, but Roxas couldn't help the guilty flush that stained his cheeks at the redhead's tone.
Demyx leapt up when they entered the apartment, barely catching his guitar as it slid from his hands. "What the heck happened to you?" he cried, rushing over and allowing Axel to slip out from underneath Roxas's weight. Carefully supporting the younger blond, Demyx led Roxas back to the sofa and settled him carefully before kneeling in front of him.
"He fell at the Struggle tournament," Axel supplied, disappearing into the bathroom. He poked his head back out a second later. "Don't we have any ibuprofen?" Demyx shook his head as he unlaced Roxas's sneakers.
"We're all out," he muttered, frowning when Roxas tried to draw his foot away. "Knock it off," he snapped irritably, grabbing the younger boy's ankle. He let go almost immediately when Roxas hissed in pain. "Oh man, you really banged yourself up." He rocked back on his heels, studying Roxas thoughtfully.
Axel swept past them, digging around in his pockets for his wallet. "I'm gonna go get some stuff, ok, Dem?" Without waiting for a reply, he closed the door behind him. Demyx scratched his head and glanced at Roxas, sighing when the younger boy flushed and looked away from him.
Standing, Demyx offered a hand to Roxas. "C'mon, you need a warm bath or your back'll tighten so much you won't be able to move." Wincing, Roxas allowed himself to be hauled to his feet and leaned heavily on Demyx as they entered the bathroom. Demyx settled him carefully on the toilet before he bent over the tub, turning the water on full and testing the temperature with his hand.
As the bath filled, steam began to billow up from the water, and Roxas raised an eyebrow at the musician. "Just how hot is that?" he asked, idly watching the small mirror cloud over. Demyx shrugged, thrusting his fingers back under the spray.
"It'll hurt at first," he muttered. "But believe me, if you don't do this now you won't be able to move later." Standing and wiping his hands on his jeans, he turned to Roxas. "I'm gonna be out in the living room. Just holler if you need something, ok?" Roxas nodded, wincing as he began to worm his way out of his shirt, hissing when it got caught on his head. Demyx gently tugged the shirt free and left, closing the door behind him.
Carefully stepping out of his jeans and boxers, Roxas shut the water off and gingerly stepped into the tub, wincing when he found Demyx hadn't been joking about it hurting – his skin was already turning bright red where the bathwater lapped against it. Gritting his teeth, he settled himself in the water, biting back a cry as his back tightened at the movement. For a moment he couldn't move, keeping his hands curled around his knees as he bit his lip, but as quickly as his back had seized, it relaxed, and he sighed as he laid back.
Roxas let his eyes fall closed as he felt the muscles in his back begin to unclench, sighing in relief. He opened one eye when a knock came at the door. Demyx poked his head in, one hand clapped over his eyes as he waved what looked like a pair of pajama pants in the other. "Axel got you these," he grinned, inching forward as he felt for the counter with one hand. "How's the water?" Roxas scowled, trying to sink a little further down.
"Hot," he muttered. "I look like a boiled lobster." Demyx laughed cheerfully.
"But your back's better, isn't it?" Roxas nodded grudgingly, then realized Demyx couldn't see the motion.
"Yeah." Demyx nodded, setting the pajama pants on the counter and inching back toward the door.
"The minute it starts to cool off, get out and get dressed, ok? We've got your ibuprofen out here."
"Ok." Roxas sighed as the door closed behind Demyx, wriggling a little lower so that his shoulders rested underneath the steaming water. He closed his eyes again, letting his thoughts drift as the steam wafted past him.
Gradually, he realized the water was noticeably cooler; with a sigh, he pulled himself upright, smiling at the ease of the motion, grabbing a towel from the rack and drying himself before slipping into the pants Demyx had left on the counter. Bending, he retrieved the stone Sora had given him and slipped it into his pocket.
When he exited the bathroom, he found Axel sitting against the couch, a lit cigarette hanging from his fingers as he leaned his head back against Demyx's leg, the guitarist pulling gentle fingers through his hair. When Axel saw Roxas, his eyes widened and he pushed himself up, muttering an apology as he headed for the balcony. Roxas scowled as he came to sit next to Demyx.
"What was that about?"
Demyx shrugged as he reached for the bottle of ibuprofen on the coffee table – he shook out two pills and handed them to Roxas with a glass of water. "He told me about – well, everything, I guess," he murmured, pulling a hand through his hair. "You and him, what happened today at the Struggle. He hasn't come that close to losing control in a long time, you know," he muttered. Roxas raised an eyebrow at him.
"Losing control?"
Demyx sighed heavily, glancing over at the door to the balcony. "He had a real problem with his temper in high school. It got better after – well, after he moved out, I guess, after we graduated, but apparently that guy – Seifer?" Roxas nodded hollowly. "Yeah, well, he snapped like he hasn't in a long time, and…" He trailed off, glancing at Roxas out of the corner of his eye. "Look, it's not my place to get in the middle of whatever's going on between you two," he muttered. "But…don't lead him on if – if you're not serious about it, ok?" Roxas frowned at him confusion, and Demyx sighed again. "I told you I've never seen someone get so far under Axel's skin," he muttered. "If – if you're not sure, leave him alone. He doesn't deserve to be yanked around like that."
Before Roxas could answer, Axel came back in, pulling a hand through his hair tiredly. "Who wants take-out?" he asked. When no one answered he rolled his eyes and moved toward the kitchen phone. "Chinese it is," he muttered.
Dinner was silent and awkward – even Demyx refused to look up from his lo mien, expression sober. When everyone was finished, he gathered the leftovers and disappeared into the kitchen. Axel sighed and stretched, glancing over at Roxas. "Are you staying?" he asked softly. Roxas nodded.
"If it's ok," he muttered. Axel shrugged and pushed himself up, grabbing Roxas's arm and leading him into his bedroom.
"Do you need another ibuprofen?" he asked, pulling out a pair of sweatpants for himself as Roxas carefully seated himself on the bed. Roxas shook his head, cringing at the tense line of Axel's shoulders.
"I'm fine," he murmured, fidgeting uncomfortably. Axel came and sat next to him, pants fisted in his hands.
"I…I can sleep on the couch," he muttered, staring straight ahead. Roxas winced, glancing over at him out of the corner of his eye. The redhead's posture was painfully straight, his eyes dull and bleak. Roxas closed his eyes, a thousand thoughts swirling through his head, but when he opened his mouth, only one thing came out.
"Don't be an idiot," he muttered harshly. He opened his eyes to find Axel had whipped around to face him, eyes narrowed as he took in Roxas's expression.
"Don't be an ass," Axel shot back. Roxas shrugged jerkily, a small smile stealing across his lips.
"I'm not kicking you out of your own bed, Axel," Roxas sighed. "If anyone's gonna sleep on the couch, it's me."
"You're hurt," Axel pointed out.
"Well then we have a problem," Roxas muttered. Axel cocked an eyebrow at him.
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah," Roxas shot back. "Really." He swallowed thickly, glancing away from the redhead. "Because this wouldn't be an issue if you weren't so uncomfortable about spending the night in the same bed with me. In fact –"
Before Roxas could continue, Axel leaned forward and pressed his lips against Roxas's own. It was soft, hesitant, and Roxas knew it was as much a question as it was an answer. He brought his arms up around Axel's shoulders, sliding his fingers up into his hair as he kissed him back. Axel let out a small, satisfied sigh as he rested his hands lightly at Roxas's sides.
Roxas closed his eyes as he tightened his arms around Axel's neck, and Axel sighed again as he wrapped his arms around his waist and ran his fingers lightly up and down his spine. Roxas bit gently at Axel's lips before he broke away, leaning back against the pillows. He smiled as Axel followed and settled on top of him, trailing his fingers through the blond's hair. Roxas slid his fingers underneath Axel's shirt as Axel slipped his tongue into his mouth, moaning softly as the redhead trailed one hand down his chest.
Axel sat up to remove his shirt, leaning back in for another soft kiss, hands ghosting over Roxas's shoulders and chest. The kiss deepened and became more insistent as Axel's hands dropped to tug lightly at Roxas's pants. Roxas began to arch up against the redhead, but fell back onto the bed with a gasp of pain.
Axel broke the kiss, staring wide-eyed at Roxas before he rested his head against his shoulder with a wry chuckle. "Oh, dammit," he breathed, hands tightening around Roxas's waist for a moment. "Fucking dammit." He pushed himself up and kissed Roxas once more before he rolled off the bed, grabbing his sweatpants from where they'd fallen to the floor. "I'm gonna take a shower," he muttered. Roxas nodded mutely, thumping his head back against the pillows after Axel left the room.
Digging the blue stone out of his pocket, Roxas set it on the nightstand and stared at it as he waited for Axel. When the redhead entered the room again, his hair was still damp and he was carrying two ibuprofen and a glass of water. Roxas took the pills silently, setting the glass on the night table as Axel slid in beside him, kissing him gently on the shoulder and wrapping an arm around him.
"I'm sorry, Axel," Roxas muttered, turning and tucking his head underneath Axel's chin. Axel chuckled and ran a hand down his back.
"Shut up, Roxas," he murmured. Roxas sighed, wrapping an arm around the redhead's waist and smiling softly as he felt himself begin to drift off to sleep.
Roxas woke the next morning on his back with Axel curled around him, one arm thrown loosely over Roxas's chest and his head nestled on Roxas's shoulder. Roxas smiled softly before he carefully slid out from underneath him, padding out to the bathroom and rummaging for the ibuprofen. His back was a little stiff, but he downed two pills and carefully stretched, determining that it was nowhere near as bad as it had been the day before.
When he entered the bedroom again, Axel had rolled over and pulled the blankets around himself, all but disappearing beneath them. Roxas stifled a laugh and moved to the other side of the bed, sitting carefully so as not to wake Axel, and reached for the crystal from the Struggle trophy. He held it up, turning it in the light that filtered through Axel's half-closed blinds, admiring the way it sparkled.
"You really like that, don't you?"
Roxas turned and found Axel watching him, one eye peering out from beneath the blankets piled around him. Roxas grinned and nodded. With a sigh, Axel pushed the sheets back, sitting up and crawling forward until he was behind Roxas. He settled his chin on Roxas's shoulder, his fingers dancing along the drawstring to Roxas's pajama pants. "You sleep ok?"
Roxas grinned and kissed his temple, handing the small stone to him, watching Axel turn it over, eyes half-closed. "Yeah. You?" Axel made a small noise that could've been confirmation before he handed the stone back to Roxas, his fingers dropping to Roxas's thigh.
"How's your back?" Roxas smirked and pushed him back, setting the stone on the nightstand before turning and tangling his hands in Axel's hair.
"Is that honestly all you can think of at a time like this?" he huffed. Axel grinned.
"Well, I think now is the perfect time to be thinking of it," he smirked, leaning forward and capturing Roxas's lips in a hard kiss. Roxas grinned and pushed him away again.
"You would," he muttered. Axel frowned at him, but Roxas raised an eyebrow at him. "What about Demyx?" Axel smirked, suddenly reaching out and wrapping his arms around Roxas. He pulled him down and rolled him over, straddling the blond and grinning down at Roxas's shocked expression.
"Dem's already scarred me for life," Axel grinned, laughing softly as Roxas squirmed when he ran his fingers down his sides. "I'd say he's long overdue for some payback." Roxas scowled and pretended to think about it.
"So you only wanna have sex so you can get back at Demyx?" Axel smirked and leaned over him, his lips ghosting over Roxas's forehead.
"Well, that and the fact that I seem to remember quite a few little tricks to make you hot and bothered that we haven't tried yet."
"Oh, yeah," Roxas grinned, reaching up and twining his fingers through Axel's hair. "What was it again? A dozen?" Axel laughed and dropped a quick kiss against his lips.
"And if you get tired of those," he smirked, slipping his fingers teasingly below the waistline of Roxas's pants, "I can always improvise."
He bent and nuzzled Roxas's neck, sighing when Roxas ran his fingers through his hair. Roxas was silent for a minute, staring up at the ceiling as Axel began to rain gentle kisses along his neck and collarbone, his cousin's questions echoing in his head. "Hey, Axel?" Axel made a distracted sound, sucking gently at the hollow between Roxas's neck and collarbone. "What is this?"
"What's what?"
"This," Roxas repeated, gently shoving Axel back and gesturing between them. "Us. What are we doing here?"
Axel groaned. "You wanna have this discussion now?"
"Yes," Roxas insisted, shoving Axel away enough for him to prop himself up on his elbows. "I do."
Axel groaned again, drawing back and shooting him a dirty look. His features took on an exaggerated thoughtfulness as he tilted his head to the side and regarded the blond. "Well," he began, stroking the inside of Roxas's thighs, "I've already received the obligatory best friend speech –"
"You got the absolute shit scared out of you by my brother," Roxas cut in, grinning.
"You acted like a jealous dipshit, over Demyx, of all people," Axel smirked, moving his hands further up Roxas's legs.
"You've received the stamp of approval from a member of my family," Roxas choked out, swatting at Axel's hands.
"We've survived the morning-after freak out –"
"You almost beat an ambulance attendant and a minor over me–"
"And," Axel continued, grabbing Roxas's knees and dragging him forward until his legs were wrapped around Axel's waist, "if you'd shut up, we could have some mind-blowing sex." He leaned down, smirking. "So where does that leave us?"
"A pretty good place," Roxas admitted, grinning.
"Good. Now shut up."
Axel pressed his mouth insistently against Roxas's, and Roxas parted his lips for Axel's eager tongue, sighing as Axel settled over him again, his hips rocking against Roxas's.
"Do you love him?"
Roxas couldn't stop the helpless laugh that bubbled its way out of his throat, laughing harder when Axel drew away and cocked an eyebrow at him. Shaking his head, he reached up and tangled his fingers in the redhead's hair, dragging him back down for another kiss, grinding his hips upward insistently. He felt Axel huff against his lips before the redhead reached down and slipped his hand into Roxas's pants, smirking when the blond arched and moaned beneath him.
Roxas clutched at Axel's shoulders desperately as the redhead kissed his way down his chest and stomach, tugging the blond's pants down to his thighs. Roxas gasped as Axel took him in his mouth, throwing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut.
"Do you love him?"
Roxas didn't know, he didn't know, but a small smile stretched his lips before he gasped again, choking out mangled attempts at Axel's name as the redhead picked up the pace, dragging his tongue against the underside of Roxas's cock, because, dammit, he didn't know, but he thought he might. He just fucking might. Roxas let out a broken laugh that morphed into a groan as Axel sucked sharply.
Well, shit.
