Chapter 11

Leaves and branches hit him as he ran through the dense undergrowth, his chest hurt as he tried to gulp in air to help him carry on; waves of hot and cold panic were washing over him and the expression of horror on Marks face as he realized what had happened was fresh in his mind. Suddenly as it all overwhelmed him it disappeared and he felt the warmth of her body touching his, her breath on his neck, the tenderness of her touch as her hand lay on his arm and the softness of the bed and covers.

He realized she was beside him and breathed the air he could not a moment ago and started to relax opening his eyes to make sure she was really there beside him and he was safe. As he took stock he realized he had hardly moved a muscle it had all been in his mind and nightmare, a gentle shiver ran through his body as he looked around the room remembering where he was. Dawn was breaking, and the light was coming through the window, he knew he would never get back to sleep too many things were running through his mind. Easing himself carefully out of bed he walked quietly through the house to the bathroom and smiled at the fact he was free to do it.

He opened the bedroom door silently expecting to see her awake and suddenly felt disappointed she was still asleep, it was washed away immediately by the reassurance his leaving did not trouble her, but his mixed feelings unsettled him. He stood watching her as still asleep she snuggled deeper into the pillows and bed and decided what to do. The room was light enough now for him to find his clothes so he carefully and silently got dressed, pleased that Joan had chosen soft warm sweaters instead of shirts. He looked around for somewhere to sit and saw the corner window seat and eased himself onto it, tucking his legs up on the sill and leaned against the wall enjoying the softness of the cushion and was soon totally relaxed waiting for events to unfold. Back in the basement in Seattle he had gone to sleep with his knees tucked up to his chest resting his head against them or just leaning against the wall rather than trying to lie on the floor where the chains would pull against his waist as he avoided hitting his head against the wall.

He looked out into the gloom across the empty beach, imagining the waves gently breaking on the sands and realized how much he missed the real thing. He turned his head slightly spotting the police car parked in a parking bay just down from their front door, knowing it's partner was at the rear, and wondered if they had had a good night or were cursing, hoping for a shift change soon. He moved slightly so he could watch Meg sleep as well as the bay, his mind was clearer now the drug was finally out of his system. Tyus had warned him about this wide-awake reaction, the thoughts that would tumble or race through his mind in no particular pattern.

He let his mind wander without conscious thought and felt something there, fleeting black flashes he could not or would not face or catch hold of so it disappeared back into its corner. Suddenly flashes of the nightmare came hurtling through his mind he felt hot and cold, desperately needed company and space.

He tried to control his breathing and panic as he got down and walked round the bed, Meg had shifted to the middle of the bed so he sat on the edge and kissed her cheek very gently, just that action comforted him. She shifted slightly and started to wake and he noticed how early it was.

Her voice was husky with sleep "Ben?"

"I need a walk." He was surprised how gentle it came out he could still feel the panic washing through his body.

She gave a sleepy giggle "You know where…." She came wide-awake as she realized he was sitting on the edge of the bed and dressed. "You mean outside?"

She wriggled to sit up as he replied apologetically. "Yes sorry I know its early but things are piling up in my mind I need out…"

She immediately took his hand in hers and could feel the slight tremble of panic. "It's okay; give me five minutes to get dressed. What about getting a drink from the kitchen something warm, have you got a thick jacket it could be cold outside?"

He smiled at her concern and quick understanding it helped calm his fears and got his mind back under his control. "Drinks sounds good there's only a light casual jacket in the things Joan gave me, I'll borrow Casey's spare anorak if needs be." And left her.

She put on jumper and jeans, automatically grabbing keys and money tucking them in her pockets looking at herself as she passed the mirror, quickly brushed her hair but left it free. She stuck a note on Casey's door as she went to the bathroom then ran quietly downstairs and found Ben drinking a cup of tea there was one for herself and two others she was puzzled she assumed he would not want Sara and Casey with them then remembered Casey would have to come.

Ben looked at her and smiled; in spite of his paleness it nearly knocked her out he looked great in the black jacket, white jumper and black trousers and the sparkle was there not the fear she saw first thing. "For the guard dogs I expect we will have to take one with us or wake Casey, you have your tea while I ask then I'll put Casey's anorak on in a minute.

While he was gone she drank her tea wondering what he would say to them "Please Sir I want a walk?" it sound just like a child at school, what would he do if they said no. The door opened and Ben came in smiling put the empty mugs on the table and walked over to get Casey's anorak an Officer was waiting in the doorway. Meg watched in silence praying they would not handcuff him again just to make sure he did not run.

As he put the anorak on Ben explained. "This is Simon I've promised not to run off if I do he will shoot, he will walk a little way behind us, his partner is staying here to make sure it's not an escape plan. They will have their radio channel open, which means Casey and Sara can sleep in."

Meg looked at the Officer "Do you want to check on Sara and Casey before we go?"

"No I trust both of you. But remember if Ben runs for any reason I will shoot, if you get in the way to protect him I will shot you and then him. I will be on the open channel but out of your hearing." He saw Meg give a slight shiver and said with a smile. "Think of me as a walking taxi service if either of you gets tired."

Meg smiled getting up to follow them out.

They walked along the shore line no one was around yet although they could hear the cars as people who had to work or travel on Christmas day got started. Ben was silent and she could still feel a slight barrier around him, that's why they walked together but not holding hands.

She tried hard to understand his feelings, she knew something had panicked him in the bedroom and she wanted him to talk but did not know how to steer him safely towards it. She remembered Dr Estrada words about his state of mind and Tyus reassuring words.

As she watched him she noticed he was looking at the sea then straight a head, not towards her then suddenly he spoke very quietly almost to himself. "Still can't remember it … it was so close, … came while I was watching you sleep just before I woke you, … sort of black flashes if only I could break them … I'm sure it's important, but no idea what… maybe I don't want to remember it… That's not what scared me though."

He shook his head but still looked straight ahead his voice faltered as he tried to speak. "I… …I… I had a nightmare about Mark's murder… no … it was more than a nightmare… I …I watched you all in the house and tracked you outside, I… know what it was like to chase him through the undergrowth, …I felt hook go into him… his horror as he recognized me … … I know how the others died, … no … I felt them die, pushed her overboard, … what the boat smelt like…. Meg… … Derek's right I killed them and just shut down afterwards!!" Panic showed in his voice and his breathing as he spoke.

Meg felt an icy chill run through her as she heard his words; she stopped walking put a hand on his arm making him stop as well. She really wanted to hold him, look into his eyes and tell him how she felt. But he refused to face her, shaking her hand off his arm, starting to turn away from her towards the water.

She felt so angry not at him but what was happening to him, 'he was believing no worse than that he was living his brother's lies.' She put both her hands on his arm and stopped him saying loudly but not shouting so the Officer could hear. "No Ben! You did not kill Mark or the others you're remembering things you've read or heard. You arrived on a boat with flowers in the morning you could not have been on the island!

You know what Tyus told you Derek is just playing with your mind, Mark was close to you, you miss him and Derek killed him not you…The Captain's statement proves it… For months you've been wondering whether you would live or die, now things are spinning through your mind getting mixed up… Ben! Ricardo would never have agreed to you coming home if for one moment if he thought you killed Mark and the others."

Agitated Ben snapped back at her, panic was ripping through him now he had spoken about the nightmare and her words were hardly registering. "Derek's got proof he did not do it! They cannot prove I did not do it!"

Simon was watching them carefully he saw the change in their body language; he knew he could make things worse if he intervened too soon but also knew his orders.

Meg's strength was heightened by her anger as she realized another possibility, she spun him round to face her and she said forcefully. "I know you did not do it! … You've been through hell you're still there till Derek is finally proved guilty! You said he drugged you for your memories … Don't you see he could have planted those memories knowing they would hurt you. That's why they feel so strong they are his! Not yours! … It is all part of his game! … Ben! I love you and trust you if you can't trust yourself then trust what has kept you sane all these months! You've done nothing wrong! I love you and trust you with all my heart and soul."

Ben remained silent but looked deep into her eyes then bent forward kissing her on her forehead with a gentle "Thank you" feeling the doubt that had rushed through his body drifting away as he took in her scent and words. Using their love as security he put his arm around her shoulders and guided her so they walked side by side.

Meg could feel his body trembling just slightly as they walked she knew it would stop now the barrier was broken he was hers again. She knew without a doubt it had been his love for her that had brought him through the past months she had seen it in his eyes and the depth of passion he had said the two words and a whisper of sadness washed through her that she had not recognized it at the very beginning of their relationship it had taken all this pain to make her understand him.

Simon followed slowly recovering from the mixture of feelings he had, he had been ready to move as she had spun Ben round to face her, he could see her anger if not hear the words. He had held his breath as they stood face to face only letting it go when with a simple kiss Ben had managed to take all her anger away and become more settled in himself. Then something more had happened when he put his arm around her they seemed to become one, certainly something much deeper than before… … His partner's call broke into his thoughts, he smiled as he replied that everything was peaceful, he had not lied it was now.Ben and Meg now arm in arm gradually started to make a u-turn up towards the houses to walk back towards Surf Central, noticing more people walking along the path in front of the houses, the sun was up, taking the chill out of the air and few wispy clouds about … it was going to be a fine winter's day. Ben stopped for a moment and looked around concentrating on something, Meg smiled it reminded her of a dog finding an interesting scent in the air, she felt a tug on her hand as he pulled her towards the houses and an alleyway.

"Ben I thought we were going back now? You said you were tired."

He didn't reply and she felt a wave of apprehension at his silence; at least they were walking not running then she remembered how she coped with his panic in the bedroom and said. "Mum and Dad will be at the Shock Wave this morning Sara and I were going to open Sunset Sisters, do you want to stay with Casey and rest? We could meet you at Mum and Dad's … Casey can drive or you can walk you were not too happy in the car yesterday were you."

Ben concentrated then turned down an alleyway. "Fine, this way I think."

Meg suddenly giggled as she caught the smell. "Hey they will not be open yet if at all, Ben, we've got some at home."

Ben turned another corner to some building set back from the others and smiled at her mischievously and said; "You've got money?" she nodded and he looked over her shoulder towards Simon who was catching up and on fast and continued, "We've got the door opener."

Simon smiled and walked up to the door covering his radio with his hand. "I should not do this but as its only half an hour early I'll try, but if they complain we shall have to leave it understood."

Ben nodded.

Simon tapped on the door a lady and gentleman came, looking worried because of the Officer but smiled when he explained, and let them in.

Meg laughed, Ben reminded her of a small boy faced with too much choice, there were dozens of cakes and sandwiches on trays waiting to be sold or packed up to be sent to places nearby. She also noticed the quiet words between the couple and realized they had been recognized, nothing was said openly just a smile of reassurance.

Ben made his choice adding extra for Sara and Casey as well as the officers in the cars, after choosing her own she paid wishing them a happy Christmas.

Back on the beach they stopped at a low wall so Ben could eat his extra cake, she teased him till he gave her a mouthful, and then they continued in happy silence or nonsense chatter about the clouds drifting in the sky or the sound of children's laughter from the houses. When they got back to Surf Central Sara and Casey were sat at the table having a drink and watched fascinated as Simon sorted out some of the cakes and left.

oxoxo

They made short work of the rest of the cakes and sat round discussing what to do for the rest of the day Ben got up and went the kitchen for another cup of tea, his attention was drawn to the familiar music coming from the radio in the corner when it changed to the news. As the newsreader spoke Ben felt the world spin, his mind froze, the cup he had been carrying slip through his fingers crashing to floor.

Casey was the first one on the scene, grabbing Ben as he swayed, Meg close behind gave more support and between them they guided Ben out into the other room and sat him down.

"Ben tell me what happened?" Casey assumed something had trigger a flash back to his kidnapping.

Ben looked at him puzzled and stunned. "How could he hurt them like that? They arrested him. He's not dead…." He said very quietly as though they were not there.

Meg worried because he had not registered the question or making any sense. "Who have they arrested Ben?"

Ben looked at Meg trying to stop his mind spinning out of control again and asked. "Who's Tobias?"

oxoxo

Ricardo felt tried as he arrived at the Police Station automatically nodding greetings as he walked to his office, his mind was still running through what had happened last night trying to understand his sisters actions, something in her attitude felt wrong he could understand her feeling of extreme hurt possibly raped because of Derek deceit but she seemed determined hit out at everyone even Meg who had voiced her fears.

Perhaps it was the fact she was realizing she had lost Ben to Meg. When she had started for Ben again he found himself in a slanging match … pointing out Ben had stood by her before and would have again … but she had stopped him even to the point of hurting Benjy. That had really set her off and she had brought up Dr Estrada views which had set him off till it ended in tears as she ran out of steam and was willing to listen to his point of view and advice about it all especially seeing someone else.

He sighed and smiled knowing there would be jokes in the canteen after he and Gabi had gone to Ocean Drive where officers were keeping watching and took two sacks of toys for Benjy. One he then he put at the bottom of Benjy's bed under the watchful eye of a caged cat Franklin … who Gabi had managed to get put in his room to help stop the tears. She had been good with Benjy and he had felt a strange pleasure playing Father Christmas looking forward to the real thing one day.

His mood darkened as he remembered his mother's determination not to have Gabi with them at Christmas Lunch in spite of the way she had calmed Benjy down, she had almost discounted her help completely so his words had been sharp and final … he would not be there either till she had accepted her. He knew it had hurt Gabi a lot because she wanted to help, but they were too tired to discuss it and after a cuddle as they tumbled into bed in the early hours of the morning.

His mood lightened as he remembered waking up beside her seeing her sleeping so peacefully he'd crept out of bed leaving a note telling her to stay he would not belong at the office and they would have a special lunch at the Loft or take it out on the cliffs if she could raid the 24 shop.

His mind brought him back to the present as he reached his desk and realized there was a pile of papers. He sat down and took the first very official looking one off the top and sighed as he read it realizing Derek had been plotting again.

It was a notice demanding Ricardo arrest Ben Evans for Murder and bring him to Court House as soon as possible so the Judge could hear a statement from Derek Evans regarding his brother.

He scanned it wondering why Judge Jackson had changed his mind and realized it was a different Judge. He swore to himself hoping it would not mean he would have to explain everything with both brothers in the Courtroom that would be hell.He put it to one side and started to look through the printouts of e-mails received, and felt more depressed the first one seemed to seal Ben's fate as it confirmed that another Officer had identified Derek Evans being there on the night concerned and a hotel booking confirmed Derek Evans had stayed but a note added the hotel was known for doggy dealings and had a new manager in so they would try and track down old one if required.

He swore as he looked at the last e-mail, which was from the arresting Officer saying he attached a statement regarding the arrest of Derek Evans. Ricardo gave a half smile, as he read the scrawled message across the printed copy of the e-mail – no attachment found with this e-mail. Not our fault. Tried contacting Officer at the station via phone and e-mail failure so far will keep trying! "That could give us some time I suppose." He muttered to himself.

He flicked through the notes from the search of Ocean Drive in spite of the brief note at the top – 'nothing positive found will continue later this morning'. The last was a short note about Ben's car and the blanket, which wrapped Tim's body, some hope of a match regarding the stain found, and a possibility of matching and dating stain confirm later today.

Ricardo looked again at the search notes then rang the other office. "I know its Christmas morning and my name will be mud but I need the team back searching Ocean Drive now! … … No! Not later this morning now as in five minutes! … Tell them traffic duty for six months if they fail ... … Tell them to take Tess's room apart and the main bedroom, remember Derek hid the gun in the Police Car so look in unlikely places … … there must be documents for their future life, and Southern Avenue or keys to lockers where the information is hidden… …

That's the idea … ... If nothing is found then get another warrant and go onto The Deep and the Java Web… … Regarding Ocean Drive the night Officers know we took toys and clothes in the early hours, you might check out Benjy's room, which I think is an unlikely hiding place knowing little children's fingers… …

Yes very funny… … You try calming that lot down in the middle of the night… …Might resort to that yet… Can we get back to business… … Good, If needs be question Tess at County Jail I'm sure she knows more than she's letting on, get one of the more experienced Officers to do it or two together….

She knows about Tim's murder being looked at again if anything comes up on that then include it in the questioning… … I'm going to be in Court with Derek, so get someone to get transport and then him ready … …No! I want him properly chained up and escorted…… he is plotting something and I do not want it to be an escape while in my care… … You're so right the worst I can think of… … Oh yes this Judge hates phone calls and interruptions so send an Officer over if something big breaks. Otherwise follow everything up you can… … Yes I wish it were the other one as well. I need to talk to Spencer I assume he's around…. Good put him on."

He was not going to trust the next job to anyone else.

"Spencer we need to bring Ben into the Court House. It states he has to be arrested and handcuffed, … … No I don't want that either but if he resists you will have to … … Go round and collect Hank first… … No it says just Ben but having him there might help reassure him he's not just being dumped in jail. Then pick Ben up but don't tell him he might be staying that will only cause trouble for everyone at Surf Central… …

We can deal with that in the Courtroom if it comes to anything … … Hopefully not but to be honest I would not bank on it Derek is obviously up to something ... …Goodness knows what story he's spun… … I'll be in the Courtroom with Derek, I don't want a squad of cars being used either just yours … … Yes good idea Charles can keep a low profile, a watching brief perhaps get him to meet you in the Courtroom he knows his way around so he can do it quietly. See you later… … Yeah a Merry one to you too!"

A noise from the doorway got his attention as he put the phone down. "Jude how can I help you?"

Jude smiled. "Shift some things off the spare desk for a start, then coffee. … What's wrong?" He could see his opening had gone down like a lead balloon.

Ricardo was totally confused by his answer. "According to this note Derek wants to give a statement to the Judge who has decided on new information that Ben needs to be brought to the Courtroom handcuffed and arrested for Murder. Lovely Christmas present… Hey! What do you mean clear the desk and coffee?"

Jude hitched himself on to the small clear corner of the cluttered spare desk and got out his identity disk out so Ricardo could see it. Ricardo looked at it in surprise as Jude explained. "I just finished undercover work and will be based here to work with you. I used Liberty Corp as a cover AJ needed help, Tobias is Gregory Richards, he never drowned it's all to do with a big fraud case and family trouble."

"Ah Hell!" Ricardo exclaimed shocked then asked. "Is this general knowledge yet?"

Jude looked puzzled. "Yes went out on the news."

Ricardo sighed. "Damn I hope Ben has not heard it yet. …. Ben and Gregory go back a while; he was a kind of mentor to Ben when he first came to Sunset. Hell! This could knock Ben back and he's got to face his brother in Court this morning. You really wonder who you can trust these days don't you!" Ricardo finished looking Jude straight in the face.

Jude smiled an apology, which Ricardo accepted he knew the rules of undercover work along with its dangers, and then gave a slow grin. "Make a tidy pile on the floor not near the bin or the cleaner with scoop it up. Oh I don't know we could always blame it on the new boy in the block and get rid of it at the same time."

"Hey that's not fair!" Jude exclaimed as he started to move the files.

Ricardo smiled. "No didn't think that would appeal some how. The coffee pot is in the reception area it's on all the time if it gets low then you fill it. Hang on that top one could come over here. Thanks, seriously as you are one of us can I give you a quick run through and perhaps you can help me second guess Derek's twisted thinking before we face the Judge. You realize you know Derek better than Ben."

"Yeah that's creepy to say hi to one guy and then work with his brother without realizing it Okay start with the highlights."

Ricardo laughed and started. … … …

oxoxo

Sara quietly got up to clear up the mess and got Ben another cup of tea.

Casey explained "Tobias lives with Olivia and family, he came back with them after they visited London, he's quiet and keeps a low profile, they all like him, in some ways he's brought the family together again after Gregory's death. What's he done?"

Ben gave a small shake of his head. "He is Gregory Richards, Meg he never drowned, how could he do that to his family?"

Meg put her arm gently on his arm and felt him shiver, she could see him retreating inside himself as he drank his tea, and all the good feeling from this morning was gone. She could not understand why Gregory would do such a thing he had everything money and family. Casey put the news on and was listening to the story when the doorbell rang Meg reluctantly got up to answer it. She opened the door and felt the blood and her stomach go to her feet recognising her father with Spencer standing behind him and managed a whispered. "No please not now." hoping Ben had not noticed who was there.

Hank mouthed the word sorry and came in and was starting to walk over to where Ben was sitting noticing how shocked and drawn he looked and hesitated as Meg quickly explained what had just happened. Ben, who watched them got up and moved further into the room rather than towards them and said. "I guess something damning came through then … what is it County Jail?"

Spencer replied for Hank. "No the Court House, Derek has demanded a hearing in front of a Judge and if you resist I will have to handcuff you. Hank is coming and Charles will be waiting for us they were not specifically asked for, Ricardo thought you might like to have them around."

For a moment Ben stood still ignoring everyone around him, he felt Meg come close to him and put her hand on his arm, without looking at her he covered it with his then spoke to Spencer. "I need the other Officer, Simon, in here he needs to witness something before I come with you. Will I need to take anything?"

Spencer shook his head; he could tell from Ben's tone that he expected the worse, almost as if he knew this would happen..."Ben I'm coming with you." Meg said firmly, cutting into Spencer's thoughts.

Ben gently released her hand. "No you stay with Sara and Casey. Derek will use you if you come it could be dangerous." He sat at the table and wrote quickly while Spencer called Simon in, Meg realized he had been waiting just outside the door ready for any trouble and wondered if the other one was in the car with the radio on just like this morning.

Her thoughts stopped as Ben finished writing and explained. "I've written a confirmation note to the Will I dictated to Charles over the phone yesterday. The Will puts everything in Meg's name and I've added this note that if I have to go to Jail today she, her father and Charles will oversee my estate and their decisions are final not mine. You need to know Derek can and will influence my decisions if I am close to him. I know I can trust you to do the right thing and challenge anything that looks wrong. I need both of you to witness my signature as you are not involved and independent." Ben signed it and handed the pen to Spencer and watched while he and Simon signed it. Hank gave a nod of understanding, as did Casey.

"Ben it will not come to that! Please let me come!" Meg begged him.

He took her to one side and said quietly so no one else could hear. "No you stay, don't you see he can twist what happened this morning, have you giving evidence against me regarding the memories you say he gave me. I'm not going to risk it or you, Meg. I need to know you are safe far away from him as possible. If I could I would keep Hank from coming but he may be useful as he was there yesterday and hopefully I can stay out of handcuffs in the Courtroom. I love you Meg don't you ever forget that no matter what happens." He kissed her lightly on the lips then gently pushed her towards Casey and Sara and walked out not looking back.

Hank was the last one out and turned to Meg she looked so desperate to come. "This should not take long we will take care of Ben don't worry. Look we know Derek is just trying to twist things again, nothing pointed to Ben before it will not this time. Go and help Mum if you need company the turkey was fighting back this morning, so you might find her in the oven."

Meg gave a hint of a smile which pleased Hank as he left.

Meg felt Casey's arms around her and Sara close by but somehow it made her feel even more alone as she watched Ben get in the car knowing he would not look back not because he did not love her but because he loved her too much and he needed to build the barrier again.