Eleven

Jerome Hightower pointed ahead. "In another day, we should be able to spy the Gilbert Islands." He had one hand shielding his eyes from the sun.

"Do you think there are cannibals on them?" Sigrid asked. Her bonnet protected her eyes from the sun but the glittering water was almost blinding. She was nervous as on one of her early walks about the ship – now that she had permission from the doctor to do so as long as she was escorted - Sigrid had picked up some rough conversation among a group of laughing sailors who looked at her, openly discussing cannibals eating a woman, starting with her most "delicate, juicy and tasty parts." Although Sigrid ignored them, knowing the remark was a vulgar joke, the idea of meeting up with cannibals made her go cold with fear. She was too embarrassed to ask the doctor about the truth of the men's comment when he rejoined her. But it had stayed with her and so she mentioned it to Adam one evening while he strummed his guitar. Adam said that there may be some islands inhabited by cannibals. But then, Sigrid, told herself, Adam was only trying to make her see how silly she had been with her belief in trolls and elves that she had mentioned during their dinner the previous evening.

"When I was bad, my father told me that goblins hid behind rocks and trees and when they saw a naughty child walking by, they tempted her with candies and such. If the child dared eat any of the sweets, which a greedy, naughty child would do, well, any child then became the property of the goblins and could never return home to their parents or their toys or anything else they loved. And then my father would say, 'I would cry over the loss of even a naughty child who disobeyed her father. So, my little, Sigrid, don't wander away from the house because goblins and trolls and the elf maiden are all waiting in the wilderness to snatch away a beautiful child to make their own.' It terrified me!"

Adam chuckled. "And you believed all that claptrap? That a mountain troll would jump out and snatch you away if you walked too far?"

"Well, yes. I had to walk alone after school from the last business in town to our house and every day I feared a troll would snatch me away – even when I was older and knew better. And when I was small, I swore an elf lived under my bed and when I was in bed, I would roll myself up in my bedding so the elf couldn't reach up and grab my hand or leg. Even Mrs. Hellström told me that many an ugly elf started out as a naughty child. I mean, I don't believe it now, of course…." Sigrid used her fork to push the food about on her plate and Adam was tempted to snap, 'Don't play with your food,' as his father often had when he was a boy and had no appetite. But he refrained while Sigrid continued. "And how did your father keep you from misbehaving when you were a boy?

"He couldn't." Adam continued to eat the surprisingly good mashed potatoes.

"I'm not surprised," Sigrid said, glancing over at Adam. She was certain Adam had been an impossible child and was the cause of his father's grey hair.

"Adam, stop teasing me," Sigrid said as she knitted. She could never quite tell if the many things Adam said were the truth or not; his face gave nothing away and he did love to play with her. "Besides," she added, "the captain wouldn't stop on the island if cannibals lived there."

"No, wouldn't make sense," Adam said, looking down at his guitar; he had leaned back in the chair, one foot pressing against the table top maintaining the delicate balance. "But these islanders, they move about, and you've read the story of Robinson Crusoe."

"No," Sigrid said, looking up from her work. She found that as long as the sea was calm, she felt well enough to knit, but she never knew when the subtle movement of the ship would cause her head to hurt again and her stomach to revolt. Jerome Hightower's first promised sock was complete and she worked on the second. "No, I haven't read it. What about it? Should I have?"

"No, I suppose not. It's probably for the best you didn't read it anyway. Sometimes, it's better not to know what cannibals do, how they go about killing their victims." Adam avoided her eyes, a subtle smile on his face as Sigrid slammed down her knitting and stood up.

"Adam Cartwright! Tell me the truth! Are there cannibals on the Gilbert Islands?"

"Now how would I know?" He looked up at her guilelessly and as happened on occasion, when she looked at his eyes and his tender mouth, Sigrid felt a longing in the core of her being. How could a man be so irritating and yet so desirable at the same time? But, Adam continued, "I'm sure the last time The Alliance dropped anchor, there weren't any." He plucked a few strings on his guitar. "What song would you like to hear?"

"None. I don't want to hear any songs. And what do you mean by 'the last time'? You're suggesting there might be cannibals this time, aren't you?" Sigrid always noticed that Adam held his guitar as he would a woman, gently and yet with command. He was always taking it up in his spare moments and passing the time composing original tunes or playing familiar ones.

"Sigrid, I'm suggesting nothing of the sort. How about Camp Town Races? Nice, cheery tune."

"I don't want to hear Camp Town Races or anything else! Adam, you are so frustrating!" Sigrid started to cry and Adam realized his teasing had gone too far. He put down his chair with a thump, placed his guitar on the table and went to her.

"Don't cry, Sigrid. I'm sure there aren't any cannibals and you'll be able to safely bathe in one of the ponds. You'll feel a lot better afterward. And I'll stand guard just in case some would-be cannibal is drawn by the roundness of your backside; it might tempt him to take a nip out of it and once he's got the taste of you in his mouth..."

"Oh, stay away from me, you…you…" Sigrid pushed Adam away.

Adam laughed and pulled Sigrid into his arms. "I'm sorry, Sigrid." He nuzzled her neck and she tried to move her head away; he seemed hungry for her. But not tonight – not tonight. "I shouldn't tease you like I do. Now, let's turn out the light and…"

"I need you to leave for a bit. I have things to take care of, you know, what I told you this morning…" Sigrid started to pull away but Adam released her; he had forgotten. She walked to the window where she gazed out onto the dark water; she didn't want him to see her blush. Sigrid silently thanked God for the rain they had a few days earlier; the ship's barrels had collected enough water so that she could wash, not just herself and her hair, but everything she required for her "time". It seemed that she was always washing and drying something.

Adam had forgotten what it was like to live in close quarters with a woman; Marie, Joe's mother had been the last woman and he remembered how his father would say to be quiet, that she was lying down, as it was her "womanly time". Adam also noted his father slept in one of the guestrooms during Marie's "womanly time". Every three weeks a dour Chinese woman, a second or third or fourth cousin of Hop Sing's arrived on the Ponderosa and stayed almost a whole week. Her sole purpose was to wash and dry the strips of muslin that Adam would see hanging on the line out back when he went to feed the pigs. Although at 14, Adam knew about women and their bleeding, it took a while before he connected the two and so he would turn away in embarrassment from the strips as the breeze blew them as if they were small banners announcing Marie's sexuality. They also reminded Adam that he knew a secret about Marie and he felt compromised by their presence.

That knowledge helped Adam understand why so many married couples had separate rooms. It was due to a woman's "time" when she wanted her husband to stay away, to sleep apart so he wouldn't be filled with desire for her – not at that time with so much blood involved. And the constant washing and drying of female items – and then there was that odor. He had forgotten about it, that primal scent that hung about a woman at that time but hung in the back of his nose.

"I'll go for a walk about the deck," Adam said, leaving the low-ceilinged room. He always felt as if the cabin ceiling was pressing down on him so he welcomed the openness of the deck. As he was smelling the sweet, clean air and, looking up at the night sky studded with stars, he realized it did look different than the sky above the Ponderosa. And all those years seemed so far away now, as if that had been someone else's life and not his at all.

~ 0 ~

Every morning, after her breakfast, Dr. Beaumont took Sigrid strolling about the decks but he insisted she either wear her bonnet or a shawl over her head. "It wouldn't do to have these rough sailors see your beauty." Nevertheless, the mariners often stopped their work to watch her walk by and she could hear their low voices as they discussed her.

"There she is – the woman on board. Arne said she was a beauty – saw her when he and Short Samuel took a barrel of rainwater to her cabin. But her husband, now he's the one with the dark looks like some Arab, not the younger man with the ready smile. Her husband looks like he'd just as soon kill you as look at you – would gut you like a fish. Best stay away from the woman."

Doctor Beaumont's and Sigrid's walks had initially annoyed Adam; Sigrid always came back to the cabin with pink cheeks and full of stories the doctor had told her about past voyages. She would chatter and tell Adam about the time a sailor fell into the water from the crow's nest. None of the sailors could swim which he said wasn't unusual, so they wouldn't save the drowning man. Dr. Beaumont himself dove into the water and held the man up until they were both tossed a rope. There was always an interesting story about Dr. Beaumont's time at sea and Adam would listen silently, noting how the good doctor always came out looking like a hero.

One morning, Sigrid roused the courage to ask Dr. Beaumont about cannibals. He had paused, considering his words before he said to her, "It is believed there are some cannibals who populate a few of these islands but as for myself, I have never met any – or I would have more than likely been eaten!" He turned to her with a gentle laugh but Sigrid's eyes were large and round. He realized he had said the wrong thing.

"Mrs. Cartwright, there is no need to fear any cannibals. People misunderstand the whole idea as they think that cannibals eat anyone and everyone. But there has been more cannibalism practiced among supposedly civilized people than heathens. Just strand a group of sailors in a…" The doctor stopped himself and patted Sigrid's arm. "Don't worry about such matters. I'm sure there are more pleasant things to think about.

"Now, let me show you the other side of the ship. You can see the small boats we'd use in an emergency – not that there's going to be one."

Once Adam's initial irritation over the relationship between Sigrid and Dr. Beaumont dissolved, he found that having the doctor pay so much attention to Sigrid was salubrious; she seemed to enjoy the platonic discussions. Maybe, Adam once considered as he lay in the dark of the cabin, Dr. Beaumont reminded Sigrid of Alvar Eklund, her father. Sigrid missed her father and she often mentioned Mrs. Hellström when she had an issue to resolve, wondering what advice the woman would give her – and hat her father would think.

But who had bothered Adam the most was Jerome Hightower. He often stopped by the cabin, the first time with the book he had promised Sigrid, Vanity Fair, and since she was under the weather, she was lying prone on her berth in her day clothes. Jerome had pulled up a chair and was reading to her. That was when Adam walked in. Jerome turned his head and smiling, greeted Adam.

"What are you doing here?" Adam asked.

Sigrid, her head spinning from a fresh bout of seasickness, climbed out of the berth while Jerome, realizing his folly in visiting, stood up and began to explain. Adam approached Jerome; his shoulders set for a confrontation.

"Adam, Jerome has brought by the book he promised." Sigrid stepped between the two men.

"Oh, did he?" Adam reached around Sigrid and pulled the book from Jerome's shaking hand. "Vanity Fair, a Novel Without a Hero. You brought this for my wife? Seems a bit sensational, something a man might bring to a woman he hopes to seduce."

"No, on my honor, Mr. Cartwright," Jerome said, backing up until he could go no farther unless he crawled into the vacant lower berth which seemed a possibility. "I never even considered…I mean I would never attempt to seduce another man's wife…never!"

Adam looked at Jerome's white face and suddenly knew he had nothing to worry about – the idea of Sigrid and Jerome together was laughable. And if Sigrid preferred this anemic young man to him, well, then they deserved each other. But Adam knew that Sigrid could never be happy with a man like Jerome Hightower and he took some satisfaction in thinking that if she were married to Jerome, if Sigrid were Mrs. Hightower, he might easily snatch her away from Jerome. After all, Sigrid was young and hadn't known a man before Adam, but she often surprised him when she clutched him to her, her passions matching his own, even if she banged her knees on the bottom of the upper berth, or he hit his head causing her to giggle. Jerome wouldn't be able to incite such desire in Sigrid; she wouldn't moan and writhe underneath the well-mannered, prissy, school teacher.

No, Adam had nothing to worry about when it came to Jerome. He even allowed Sigrid to read the book, Vanity Fair, although she did tell him some parts of it were "unseemly". So, on occasion, Jerome, sat talking to them in the evening and often walked with Sigrid about the deck in the mornings when the doctor was otherwise occupied. Sigrid told Adam that Jerome was lonely and therefore enjoyed their company since no one on board paid any attention to him other than the doctor.

As for Adam, he found he liked eating his breakfast in the galley and exchanging salty conversation with the seamen. They appreciated he wasn't a "landlubber", knowing more about sailing than any of them would have predicted. Adam could curse with the best of them and would tell rough stories – except about Sigrid – that caused the other men to roar with laughter. It was his familiarity with the men who worked the ship that led to Sigrid being left unmolested as she began to walk more freely about, although always accompanied.

After a night of sharing a bottle of whiskey and quite a few filthy stories about women they had known, with Captain Ashton, Adam was asleep in the cabin's upper berth, one arm thrown across his forehead. He occasionally snored and Sigrid had lain awake most of the night, angry that he had come back slightly drunk. She had planned to chastise him for sitting late with the captain, to tell Adam she was surprised he hadn't tumbled overboard in his drunken state, but when Adam came into the cabin, all of her planned speech fell away; she knew he wasn't a man to listen to a wife's carping.

But now it was morning and the doctor had just left the cabin door after sharing the news with her. Sigrid shook Adam's arm and he struggled awake. He sat up and banged his head on the low ceiling.

"Damn it! I forgot where I was." He rubbed his head. His mouth felt cottony and his head throbbed from the whiskey. "What is it?"

"The doctor just came by to tell us that the Gilbert Islands are in view. Another hour and we should be there."

Adam lowered himself down. He was unsteady at first. "Good. I could use a bath – a good soaking. But first, I need to visit the head." He pulled on his shirt and trousers, leaving his shirt flapping open, and then sat to pull on his boots. Sigrid watched and when Adam stood up and stretched, she spoke.

"Adam, I'm afraid to go ashore."

Patience was lost to Adam. His head throbbed with a mild hangover and he felt stiff and miserable. "Sigrid, there are no cannibals on the island but there might be elves or trolls or goblins. Just be a good girl and you'll be safe." He had one hand on the cabin door but before leaving, he turned to Sigrid. "Tell you what, I'll bring my gun and if anyone threatens you, I'll shoot them. Just make sure I don't mistake Jerome for a cannibal – or a troll."