*I wrote this at the same time as chapter 10 - it's short and sweet but I hope you enjoy it! I own nothing :)
Emma wasn't quite sure when he attitude had shifted, but she felt herself following Killian home an hour or so later rather than walking alongside him per usual. For some reason, she noticed him storm past the street that led to the loft and continue on. He was headed for the new apartment - probably to avoid the attention he clearly didn't want - and it was pretty obvious that he was letting something get the best of him. Did he want to be alone? Hell no, Emma thought as she narrowed her eyes at his back. He'd chased her across the Enchanted Forest, through Neverland, and between realms. She was going to chase him too. They were in this together.
He stomped up the stairs, fumbling with his keys. He muttered a bloody hell among a couple of other curses as he slammed the key into the lock, shaking as he did so.
"Killian," Emma tried.
He said nothing as he entered the apartment. It was still somewhat empty although David had helped him move some of the larger furniture a few days before - the couch, a wooden table that Marco had built upon Emma's convincing request, and a - correction, their - new bed. Killian navigated with purpose around the sofa to the balcony, gripping the railing fiercely and locking a stern glare on the distant harbor. Emma watched his frustrated posture, waiting for anything to tell her what was wrong, but he didn't move.
"Killian," she said again. "What is going on? Talk to me."
He shook his head, not saying no but rather why, as he looked down at his feet. He was almost...angry. Emma didn't like it - not at all.
"What's there to say?"
He suddenly snapped his head up and turned to look at her. She saw it. She hated it. There in their new home and just behind his upset eyes stood the lost little boy - the one she knew he'd locked away to avoid addressing for so long. She wanted to run to him - to hug him fiercely until he believed without a doubt that she wanted to listen and help him.
"This is my fault," he emphasized. "I did this."
"I don't know what the hell you are talking about and I don't think you do either."
"I know exactly what I'm talking about," he replied, his voice growing louder. "If it wasn't for me - if I hadn't stayed here - none of this would be happening right now."
"Yeah, you're right," Emma shot back, suddenly defensive as she gestured at their surroundings. "But none of this would be either."
She had always assumed that if she had returned to New York, he would have left Storybrooke as well. It had happened before when they'd all been forced back to the Enchanted Forest after Pan failed.
Frankly, I was bored. I had a life to get back to - a pirate's life.
Maybe this was what had him rattled. He'd never told her much about what happened during the missing year. He'd been so thankful to find her in New York, so relieved when she bailed him out of jail when she had realized he wasn't such a "crazy person". He brought her home - made her his home.
There wasn't anything for me in the Enchanted Forest. Why would I stay?
I came back to save you.
He ran a frustrated hand across his eyes and leaned back on his heels before electing to barge back inside. Emma followed him. Dammit no. He wasn't going to do this - not if she had a say in the matter.
"Killian, stop."
"Emma, you don't get it!"
"Then help me understand."
"All I want is to move on," he strained. "To be done with that - to leave the pirate behind and start over."
"Then let's do it," she offered, very matter-of-factly.
"I can't!"
He'd never yelled at her before - not like that. He wasn't angry though. He was...ashamed. He was undeserving - or at least that was the path his mind was wandering.
"Why not? Why can't you be this new man - the man you want to be?"
"Because, Emma," he started, quieter this time but still clearly flustered. "They're pirates. Pirates - which means they are my problem. They want something with me. It's like I brought them here! My past did this. I'm the one ruining this, putting you and your - our - family in danger. I don't want this for you."
"Then what the hell do you want, Killian?"
"I want this, Emma! I want to be here. I want you. I want a life together. I want to have this baby and spend my days learning to be a father with you. I want to build this new home with you - filled with Henry's books and my terrible sense of interior decorating. I want to marry you and wake up next to you every-"
He paused for a moment as he suddenly saw Emma's eyes grow wide. He'd been so discouraged - so exhausted by his constant demons that he came to a sudden realization that he had said something terribly wrong. God, he'd been rambling and trying so hard to outrun the past with one major blow up - oh shit. Oh no. He didn't...did he?"
"Killian, did...are you...I just-"
Oh bloody hell. This is not the way he'd wanted this to go. He screamed internally, kicking himself for ruining this. He chanced a look at her. She furrowed her eyebrows, shocked and unbelieving. Lifting her nervous hands, she one ran one across the other as she shifted her eyes to the ground. Wait - no. He could fix this. He could take it back and do the right thing when it was the right time.
"Emma, I..."
"Okay."
He straightened his stance, raising his eyebrows as she suddenly challenged his gaze. He wasn't sure what emotion he saw. She didn't appear happy - no, not quite. Then he saw it. She was furious at him. She was completely angry that he'd truly believed they couldn't have that life - that happiness - because of some stupid boat filled with villainous scoundrels. She was also not letting him off that easy. He'd never been so happy to be cornered in his life.
"What?"
"I said," she spoke more confidently this time. "Okay - yes."
Had she just agreed to marry him?
