Jennifer woke up the next morning, luxuriating in the comfort of Jack's arms. She couldn't believe how lucky she felt. She had Jack…still. She was able to be close to him, to sleep with him (in the literal sense, not the figurative one), and cuddle. Even his…ahem, morning response…hadn't flustered her.

She flipped from her side onto her back and smoothed his hair that had fallen into his eyes. "Hi sleepyhead," she whispered as his eyes fluttered open. She didn't know how long this feeling would last, but this morning, Jennifer felt glorious.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked yawning and starting to stretch.

"Wonderful. Not a single nightmare."

"Good."

"No. You don't understand. I have had nightmares every single night since…"

Jack's eyes grew wide. He hadn't realized. He decided he wouldn't mention his nightmare-it just couldn't compare.

Jennifer hopped up and down in bed, shaking it. "Can I make you breakfast?"

"Sure! What is there?"

Jennifer pretended like she was thinking hard, "Well, there's salad…and there's salad. And salad."

"Like the one last night?"

"Um hmm," Jennifer nodded brightly.

Her mood was infectious, "Perfect," Jack answered.

They had an easy day at the cabin just indulging the in pleasure of each other's company. The world was blocked out and locked away. Their conversations were mundane and trivial which was a great relief after the incredible soul-searching, soul-breaking content of their conversations and inner dialogues. They needed this respite from the world, from reality, from heartache and from drama. And there was no one that either would rather spend the day with.

It wasn't a lazy day though. Both Jack and Jennifer were industrious, hard-working journalists and both had brought along work related to long-term stories that each were developing. It was mid-afternoon and they lay on their stomachs with their papers splayed out before them; he on the trundle bed, she on the big bed.

They worked like that for a few hours until Jennifer broke Jack's concentration and she swiped his pen away from him.

"What you do that for?" Jack exclaimed in mock protest.

"Mine's out of ink. I need yours."

"That's my only pen. Give it back."

Jennifer smiled and shook her head, "Uh-uh."

Jack knew those eyes; those were baiting eyes. He drew up to his knees. "I'm gonna get that back."

Jennifer shook her head again. "I need it to work. I have a boss to keep happy. You are the boss."

Jack shrugged and acted like he was giving up, but his eyes were sparkling. Suddenly, he lunged up to her bed and flipped her over onto her back, straddling on top of her and reaching for his pen in her right hand.

And then the fun was over. He looked down and saw her eyes. He was on top of her, pinning her. He had grasped her wrists to make it easier to grab back that stupid pen. Her eyes were scared, panicked; she was reacting, she was remembering.

Jack jumped off her immediately, recoiling in horror at his thoughtlessness. "God, I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. I wasn't thinking."

Jennifer was breathing fast and tiny tears were at the corners of her eyes. She hated how fragile she was; how easily and torrentially all the memories could come flooding back. Still flat on her back, she propped herself up on her elbows and she shook her head; it's all she could manage until she got her breathing under control.

Jennifer was biting her lip to keep back her tears; she knew Jack felt bad enough already and didn't need to see her cry. Jack saw her doing that—biting her lip to not cry—exactly as Harper had taught him as a little boy growing up and he felt even worse.

"Jennifer, I'm sorry. I'd never hurt you." He couldn't stop thinking about her eyes in that moment. He tried not to remember that those had been Kayla's eyes too.

"I know. I'm okay. I'm fine." Jennifer reached up with her hand to caress his cheek, trying to pacify and lessen the disastrous transformation of their day.

Jack wouldn't let himself off the hook that easily. "It's not fine," he said adamantly.

"It is. Let's do something else. Forget work. We shouldn't even be doing that anyway. We aren't here to work."

"Okay," Jack conceded, desperately wanting to fix what he had wrecked.

Jennifer turned away and Jack could see she brought her palms to her face. He couldn't see her expression now. Jack stood there helpless for a minute not knowing what was happening or what he should do. Then he started hearing her cry. She was sobbing; her body almost shaking from the paroxyms. Jack didn't know what to do.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit," Jennifer repeated in frustrated agony.

"Jennifer?" Jack wanted to reach out to her and started simply with her name.

She held up her hand, warding him off. "You can't know. You can't know what this is like. I'm on a precipice all the time, trying so hard to hold myself together, fearful that one false step and I'll fall. I don't know what to do…with…what I'm feeling."

"What are you feeling?"

"I'm angry," Jennifer yelled. "I'm angry at Lawrence. I'm angry at myself. I'm angry at…everybody."

Jack knew she was going to say that she was angry at him and had then changed it to 'everybody.' He wasn't going to confront her about that right now. This pain she was enduring wasn't about him and his past and he didn't want to be so arrogant and self-absorbed to divert her pain and to make it about him.

"Good," Jack replied, trying to maintain composure for both of them. She needed him to be strong for her right now; he was determined not to fail her. "Be angry. You've got a lot to be angry about."

"I hate him," she yelled. "How could he do that? How could anyone do that?"

Jack slowly walked towards her, attempting to close the physical distance between them. "You'll never understand. Don't even try."

"He—he hurt me. He was hurting me. I couldn't stop him." Her eyes had been focused on her hands that were still steepled in front of her face; she shifted her gaze now to Jack. "You warned me about him. I was so stupid. I was so damn stupid. I had a million chances to stop it before it happened and I threw all those chances away. HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID?"

"You're not stupid," Jack said with steely finality.

Jennifer let him have that point. "Okay, how can I be so naïve? And don't tell me I'm not. You've told me how naïve I am like a thousand times."

Jack hated having his words thrown back in his face, especially when they had been wrong. "Don't believe a cynical guy like me about that. You're not naïve. You just believe the best about people. That's the way things are supposed to be. That's one of the reasons I love you. Don't go changing who you are because of jerks like that," Jack tapped his chest, "or cynical people like me."

Her eyes darted around the room, trying to find something to focus on just as her mind was trying to settle. She was adrift and still searching for stable ground beneath her.

"Be angry at him. Be angry at the archaic laws in his country. Be angry at me for thoughtlessly hurtling you back to that awful experience. But don't be angry at yourself. Please."

"I can't let it go. I think for a long time to come, I will ask myself what I could have done differently."

Jack shook his head, "Nothing."

Jennifer wasn't ready to accept that. She needed to be alone and went for her coat, "I need to get some air. I just need to be by myself for a bit. Please just be okay with that."

Jack gestured at the door. Jennifer mouthed, "Thanks."

Jack fell backwards onto the bed. Kayla had warned him that day in his office that Jennifer would have dark days and days that she would need to be away from people. Kayla had been that way too, Jack recalled her saying.

Jennifer may not have been able to say that she was mad at Jack. But Jack was mad enough at himself for both of them.

Jack rose up and started a fire. She would be cold when she returned back from her walk. The fire would help.

Thirty minutes later, Jennifer returned. She immediately noticed the fire and went to it, though she didn't comment on his thoughtfulness. She only said, "I'd rather not talk about it anymore tonight. Could we just move on and enjoy our evening?"

Jack acquiesced and they managed to cobble together an enjoyable evening. She beat him in Scrabble, but she wasn't sure if she truly won, he let her win, or he was so preoccupied that he couldn't focus on the game.

When bedtime came, he was arranging out his trundle bed, not wanting to assume that she would choose to share a bed again. Jennifer noticed his sideways glances and read the situation. She wanted him holding her like the previous night.

"Could you hold me again, like last night?" she asked shyly.

A smile appeared, then disappeared from his face and he nodded, feeling relieved. He was going to revel in any and all nights that they could share together.

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They both woke up the next morning in better spirits than when they had gone to bed. Their nightmare-free night of sleeping in each other's arms had been the best medicine for both of them. They decided to head back though. Jennifer needed to be back at the TV studio the following day.

In the car, Jack told Jennifer that he was moving out of his father's house and getting a new place. "Wherever I land, you're welcome there anytime. If you need to borrow my dictionary or if you want to have a slumber party, whatever."

Jennifer took his hand. She realized how difficult it was for him to be at the loft right now in the wake of everything that had happened. His new place would be new neutral territory for new memories-their memories and no room for ghosts or painful memories.

Jack ran his thumb across her diamond ring, "I'd like your opinion on whatever place the realtor shows me before I sign anything. It will be your home too after we marry. I want you to be happy there."

"When I'm married to you and sharing your home, then of course I'll be happy. The floor plan and square footage won't matter."

Jack smirked. "I want to make sure you're satisfied with the kitchen because you'll be spending lots of time in there making my meals."

Jennifer swatted him, "You're not the boss of me anymore, remember? Besides, remember our wedding vows-you're supposed to obey me."

"Absolutely," Jack answered in mock sincerity. "Until death do us part."

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One hour later, Jack and Jennifer, were standing in the kitchen of the loft. Jack had taken her suitcase upstairs for her, but he wasn't planning to stay.

When he descended the stairs, Jennifer called to him, "That was Kayla on the answering machine. She and Steve are having a Super Bowl party tonight and have invited us over to it. You want to go?"

"A Super Bowl party?" Jack asked surprised.

"Things have been peaceful for them for a while, considering their history of being flung from one crisis to the next. I think it will be fun, if you want to go of course."

Jack considered it. This would be a first, he thought. The four of them at a party together and trying to have fun. It would likely be awkward as hell—all the past history hidden under a veil of supposed lighthearted socializing. But Kayla was making an effort to move from that incessant tension between them to a more casual acceptance of existing within each other's worlds. She was making an effort and he could too.

"Are you fine going?" he asked.

"Yeah. Yeah. It'll be nice."

"Okay then sure." Jack agreed.

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Steve and Kayla were enjoying the domesticity and decided to host a Super Bowl party. They had invited over Jo, Bo and Carly, and Jack and Jennifer. If it went well and they weren't in crisis during the next Super Bowl then they might actually make it a tradition.

Stephanie had long since gone to bed for the night and at the end of the third quarter, the evening and the novelty of a TV-centric party was starting to wane.

Jack had migrated outside twenty minutes earlier and sat on the porch swing when Kayla wandered out.

Kayla saw Jack and steeled herself. It was still an odd sensation to socialize with Jack. It didn't feel like they could ever just be casual. She moved forward anyway and asked, "Where's your mom?"

"She left at halftime. Anything exciting going on in there?"

Kayla shook her head, "Bo and Steve are watching the game while Jennifer and Carly are chatting about old times."

Jack nodded and took another swig from his beer bottle. He normally hated beer, but he wanted to try something that seemed more appropriate for a Johnson than a Deveraux. "Thanks for having us here. I'm not really into football. Only found out tonight that it was the Giants versus the Bills. And I run a newspaper; I should know these things."

Kayla smiled and sat down on the swing. They were on opposite ends of the swing so they weren't anywhere close to touching, but Jack was touched just the same.

Jack realized the strangeness of the situation too—a party guest, no high-stakes drama, no buffers, just Jack and Kayla attempting to be casual and light-hearted and joking. "Even though I don't like football, it is nice being at a nice normal party. It's not a welcome home from being kidnapped, welcome home from being shipwrecked, welcome home from being held at a villa in a country no one's ever heard of-even me with my Ivy league education and internship at the United Nations. And in this country, my girlfriend was put into a forced marriage."

Jack stopped and shook his head, "Oh God, seriously, why does that crazy stuff keep happening to us? Is there something in the water? Anyway I'm glad to be at your Super Bowl party, but the Buffalo Bills have to win. I can handle absolutely anything in life but the Bills losing."

Kayla laughed.

Jack sat up, alert, and looked at her. He smiled broadly. "You laughed. You honest-to-God laughed at one of my jokes." Jack leaned his head back on the seat. "That makes my day."

Kayla eyed the beer bottle and hoped he wasn't having too much. Getting drunk would mean too much familiarity, too many lowered barriers and inhibitions. She could tolerate Jack and even generally like him or be entertained, but would still always be wary. "Yeah, well, go easy on the alcohol. Okay? Tomorrow is a work day."

"Not drunk. Promise."

Kayla rose up when she saw Carly and Bo were exiting out the front door to go home.

"You leaving?" Kayla asked.

Bo gave a sideways glance at Jack and nodded. "Carly's got an early morning at the hospital." He leaned forward and gave his sister a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for a fun evening, Kay."

After Carly and Bo left, Kayla gestured at the front door, "I'm heading in."

Jack got up from the swing. "Yeah, I'll see what Jennifer's up to."

When Jack and Kayla came into the house, Steve rose up from the couch, "Hey, just coming to look for you two." Steve pointed at Jack's beer bottle, "You want another one?" Steve knew that Jack was his guest, not Kayla's, and wasn't about to make her fetch things for him as hostess.

"Umm, please. Thanks." Jack sat down next to Jennifer on a little sofa and took her hand into his.

When Steve came back into the living room, he sat down on the couch next to Kayla and turned down the volume on the TV. They could look at the TV to check the score, but were still free to talk. The two couples sat like that for a few moments in awkward silence. Everyone wanted it to be nice and natural, but unsure of the topics to get there.

Steve finally tried rescuing the situation, "Jennifer, Jack told me you know about our secret passageway."

Kayla looked at them in surprise, "You know about that?"

Jack looked shy, "Yes, came across it accidentally once as I was snooping around."

At that, Kayla looked taken aback. "You were…snooping?"

"I was looking for the key-Marina's key," Jack explained.

Kayla nodded and relaxed. She recalled that time when her relationship to Steve was in trouble and then she as later kidnapped by Victor. She knew Jack had done a lot to help them get through that crisis.

Steve continued on, looking to tease and make mischief for his little brother, "And he told me that secret passageway is where you had one of your first real kisses."

Jennifer glanced at Jack, "Yes." The actual kiss had been wonderful, but what Jack had said in the aftermath had been difficult. Jack had dismissed her and turned her away again.

Jack read her expression and regretted again his actions that day a year ago and his words after that kiss in the secret passageway. He regretted so many of his actions and words to Jennifer from the previous spring. He had vowed once he learned the truth about what Lawrence had done to her that he would never treat her like that again. He spoke up to salvage her feelings, "Yes, we kissed and the kiss was incredible, but I wasn't ready for our relationship yet. I am so grateful that you waited." Normally, Jack wouldn't be so honest or forthcoming in front of anyone else, but Steve and Kayla already knew the best and worst of him. There were walls, but there were no secrets.

"The truth is," Jack continued, "I lied that day. The earth did move…for me."

Steve had meant that topic to be light-hearted and teasing, but had inadvertently stumbled into some potential landmines. He seized on another topic to guide them away. "As a papa, I've got to tell ou something about my kid. Stephanie has a stubborn habit in which she will not let us know what she wants to drink. So, we have to make it a game in which we line up all the choices: water, apple juice, milk, white grape juice, red grape juice and then when everything is lined up and she has all her choices, then she points at the one she wants."

Jennifer laughed, "That's so cute."

Steve pointed at Jack, "Jack was the same way as a baby."

"Really?" Jack asked, instantly alert. He knew so little about his early childhood. His adoptive mother, Camille, had died when he was in kindergarten, Harper had photos but had never bothered to tell stories. Jo had never told him stories either about when he was a baby. He guessed that she assumed it would be unwelcome, but he really did want to know about that part of his past. He decided to ask her for some stories the next time he saw her.

Kayla looked surprised too and slightly unsettled that Stephanie had a habit so similar to Jack's.

"Yep. Mama made it my job to get out everything from the refrigerator so that you could choose. She really had a lot to do and relied on me to make sure you were happy. When the old man would come home in the evening though, no one had time for the extended games and you just had to drink whatever Mama gave you. He was a grown man and Duke figured he needed more attention than a little baby."

Jennifer looked at Jack, "That's so sweet that you were like that and now so is Stephanie. I wonder if our kid will be…" Jennifer stopped, instantly shy and embarrassed. Jack had been so skittish and noncommittal for so long and now she was foisting parenthood on him. However, Jack didn't feel at all discomfited; he looked at her with such love. He didn't even feel shy demonstrating those feelings in from of Steve and Kayla. Jennifer sounded so confident and optimistic. It erased all the awkwardness of the situation of trying to make polite conversation and he just felt so lucky to have her. He lifted up her hand that he had been holding this whole time. He brought her hand to his lips and lightly kissed it. "We'll get there. We'll get there someday."

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True to his word, Jack had never gone back to Harper's house. The morning he left that place after he had dreamed of torturing Lawrence was the last time he ever saw the place. He had moved into the Salem Inn until he found a place, Jennifer had liked it and agreed to it, and it had gotten legally transferred over to him. He paid movers to transfer everything to his new penthouse or into storage.

Jennifer kept the pattern they had started in the cabin. She stayed with him in the Salem Inn and also in the penthouse. They were familiar and comfortable with each other, but their affection had not progressed any further.

"Jack?" Jennifer started slowly, wary of bringing up this topic, but if she was going to get past the rape and be able to move on with their lives together then she had to stop being so skittish and scared and to just trust. The truth was that Lawrence had started an earthquake-not just one on his property by whatever hijinks he had engineered underground. He had also created a figurative one in their lives that had shifted the ground beneath Jack and Jennifer and had exposed a long buried rift and brought this past problem to the surface.

"Yes?" They were sitting on a park bench; her head leaning on his shoulder, their hands interwoven. This is where they naturally migrated to nowadays when they met during the day. Out in public, without the bad history, and showing affection that was completely friendly. There was no kissing, Jennifer never sat on his lap, it was completely non-sexual. If it wasn't affection that Jack would show to Jo or Adrienne then he didn't show it to Jennifer.

"At the counseling session, there is something I want to discuss. I mean, there is something we probably should discuss and I think it would be best if we did discuss it at a counseling session." Jennifer tensed up and her leg was shaking nearly uncontrollably from nervousness of broaching this topic.

Jack's arm had been around her shoulder and he brought it back to his side. He couldn't discuss Kayla or the past while touching her.

"Kayla."

Jennifer nodded. "Kayla. I think we need to discuss it and lay it to rest so that it doesn't haunt us and so that it's not part of the subtext of every conversation we have about the past or dealing with what happened to me."

"Jennifer, I don't really want to talk about that with you. I don't want you to see me that way."

"Jack, we're both thinking about it. I won't lie to you and say that I haven't thought about it and I know you are too. I'm sure you've thought about it a lot lately. We can't compartmentalize our lives, separate our lives and still think that we can move past this and become one. I didn't want to just spring it on you in the middle of a counseling session if you don't want to do it, However, I thought it would be best if we talked about it in a counseling session, where it could be mediated and having a third person would make it seem more clinical and safe…"

Jack seized on that word, "Safe? You need a third person-a witness-to feel safe discussing Kayla with me?"

"I didn't mean safe like that. I meant safe from misunderstandings, from arguments spiraling out of control-like what I did in the cabin when I slapped you," Jennifer quickly added that last bit to make sure he didn't misinterpret the 'spiraling' comment. "Will you think about it?"

Jack nodded. He knew she was right. If they were going to make it, then they would just have to go through it; walk on the hot coals or on the broken glass (whatever metaphor seemed more appropriate in the minute). He remembered back to the Allegory of the Cave he had told her about. He had thought it was cleverly poetic and relevant given the circumstances of their long courtship and where they had first made love. However, he realized their, his journey, wasn't over yet. He had recognized the shadows that had been his former life (before Jennifer, before Jo, before Steve). With Jennifer, he had traversed a long journey of self-discovery and self-realization and had given his heart to her. The journey wasn't over yet though. In Plato's allegory, the freed man had to venture out of the cave and look at the much brighter, much more blinding sun. It would be painful he knew, but he also knew that time had come for him.

"I thought about it," Jack said finally. "I'll do it. Come what may in the aftermath. I just hope you didn't think that in the cave when I told you I loved you and made love to you that the fight was over and the battle was won. I am not an easy man. I don't have an easy past or a simple mind in here," Jack poked at his temple. "It will never be an easy life with me. I'll always be loving, but I'll also always be difficult."

"You're trying. You're giving me your heart. That means everything to me."

"I'm sure that me without a past would mean more," Jack muttered under his breath.