**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY RIGHTS TO BLAZBLUE OR IT'S CHARACTERS**
AN: I've got 4000 views and thus I am giving two comedy mini chapter to you guys as a thanks. (Gag Chapter One is Mature)
Carl: When am I gonna be in this story? Author: Uhhh, who are you again?
Carl: Ada get him! Author: JUST KIDDING, Calm down damn it.
P.S. This is for fun, not part of the actual story; so in a ways is not the True Ending. . . lol
Curious Encounters
Gag Chapter Two: Kokonoe's Help Can Kill
Carl stumbled through the town with a reddened face and eyes gazing towards the ground. For the first time he could remember Carl was following Ada instead of the other way around. Makoto, Carl thought as a deeper blush flamed against his cheeks, I always though she said all those things to me because she thought I was a little kid. . . But women don't do. . . Carl swallowed as his mouth went dry from the thought of what they had done and why Ada had refused to look at him since. "That. . . to someone they see as a child. . ."
Ada pulled to a halt in front of an alleyway and her eyes drifted to a dark mass that loomed several meters away. Carl jogged to his sisters side and followed her gaze. "Sis, isn't that t-"
"HEY SHORTY!" A jovial feminine voice called as a dark figure sprung from a roof and it slammed into Carl, bowling him to the ground.
"Ugh!" Carl coughed from the ground and he adjusted his glasses to see who had landed on him. It's that Taokaka girl.
"Hey Tao, get off the little guy." Ragna warned with an amused tone hidden behind its deep rumble.
"Oh, okay good guy! Tao will get off." Tao cooed as she slide off of him and offered her paw to him. Carl blushed bright red as he saw her panties when she passed him and he took her support shakily. With a quick jerk Carl was pulled to his feet. "There ya go, Tao sorry."
"No it is okay. . ." Carl mumbled as he affixed his hat back atop his head and he retreated to the side of the Nirvana, "What is going on?"
"Well-" Ragna started but pink haired little girl kicked him in the shins and he growled in pain, not finishing his thought.
"GET OUTTA THE WAY!" Luna growled from Trinity's lips and she strolled past him to get to the portal. "We're going to see the pink haired bitch."
"Little sonva- That describes you pretty God Damn good you little prick!" Ragna spat as his hand rubbed his leg and Tao slipped to his side rubbing his arm in support.
"Ragna want Tao to lick it for-"
"NO!" Ragna hissed as his face also reddened.
"Luna say you're sorry, just because Kokonoe said to hurry doesn't mean you should hurt our friends." Sena pleaded as the little girl turned to the group again. "Hell no, it's his fault for always being a jackass and in the way!" Luna countered hotly and she jumped into the portal before Ragna could growl another terse obscenity at her.
"No account for manners," Offered a short woman dressed in black with long blonde ponytails, "It is no wonder Kokonoe intends to give her some lessons in manners. Now, Mister Clover," Rachel coughs softly at the title for the young man, "If you'd like you might join us. The scientist believes she capable to fix any and all aliments and flaws but she has a lack of test subjects. Thus I request you come with us, so as she might be appeased. I grow tired of her sending her minions to me for assistance."
"Uhhh. . ." Carl absently said as he looked to his sister, "I suppose, do you think she can do something about my sister?"
"It is entirely possible, now hurry along. I am sure she does not enjoy her time with that rude, stubborn child." Rachel coaxed as she passed them and entered her portal, leaving it open for the others to follow.
"YAY! Big Sis!" Tao mewed and hopped away and into the portal as well.
"Come on kid, gonna be a long night if we make them wait." Ragna huffed and he wrapped his arm around Carl shoulder, leading him and his sister to Kokonoe's lab.
"I'm not dealing with this little shit first, she's giving me a hell of a headache." Kokonoe spat as Carl and Ada walked into the lab.
"Well screw you, you old crone." Luna shot back and Kokonoe's tails straightened to ridged stiffness with a quick jerk.
"You little bitch! I'm not old! Get away from me, you're last for that." Kokonoe growled and Luna stuck out her tongue as the split personality girl stomped away. Kokonoe glared at her as she walked away and she struggled to relax as she turned to the rest of them. Her voice smoothed, as much as it could, as she introduced herself to Carl and Ada, "Greetings lost children." Kokonoe said, the words sounding like it was between a murmur and a snarl, and she took in a deep breath to calm herself completely. "I am Professor Kokonoe, genius scientist and ruler of the Sector Seven Laboratory. It-"
"Tail Lady! Tao is back!" Tao interrupted happily and Kokonoe twitched as she lost her focus again.
"God damn it. . . Forget the introduction! Tao, I noticed you are back. Didn't I already help you?" Kokonoe probed as she eyed the grinning cat woman slightly annoyed.
"Oh yeah! Tao forgot, but Tao did as Big sis said! Tao stuck with Ragna and now Tao and Ragna are together!" Tao proudly shouted with her eyes closed and her paws wrapped around Ragna's left arm possessively.
"Oh. . . Then why are you here?! I can't help you again!" The pink haired scientist squawked as her eyebrow lowered into an angry stare.
"What's wrong Tail Lady? Tao didn't mean to make Tail Lady angry." Tao whimpered, a false frown distorting her words.
"Look, Tao I have other people to help. Here's some more silvervine candy, knock yourself out." Kokonoe groaned as she threw three blue lollipop candies to the Kaka and turned away. "As I was sayin-"
"YAY! CANDY!" Tao cheered as she immediately unwrapped one, threw it in her mouth and chomped away at it. "Nom, nom, nom, nom- Oh. . . . Oh my." Tao marveled as she finished the candy and her shoulders slid lower. Everyone turned to eye the kaka girl except for Kokonoe. She had her eyes closed and a vein pulsated steadily and visibly with a fierce pressure on her temple.
"Uh, Tao?" Ragna asked in his deep voice and it sounded a mix of worried and confused.
A softer smile came from Tao as she looked up to Ragna with her red eyes turning green. "Yes," came a softer, slower, more courtly voice from the woman, "Ragna, my beloved. I am quite alright now. I do wish to apologize for my continuance of actions that are hazardous to your health. I would never wish any vexation upon you, my sweet love."
"What the HELL!" Ragna yelped in surprise as he back-peddled from the seemingly. . . Intelligent Tao.
"Do not worry dearest. I am quite alright, the candy tends to make me quite astute in a great many more things, such as manners." Tao answered in an insightful manner and Rachel eyebrow rose in mild interest.
"Excuse me," Rachel interjected with her normal bored timbre, "I am quite interested in this new personality of yours."
"I still do not like you vampiress, and though I have realized how it was faulty in logic to have struck you, I will not apologize for that action. It was in defense of my beloved and I would repeat the action if I was required to experience that day once more." Tao answered in her soft lady-like tone but her words still stung. "Come now my beloved, I would like to express to you my overwhelming infatuation. I believe we should fornicate and make marry."
"Wait, Tao!" Ragna stammered as Tao started away, his hand grasped within her paws, "fornicate? As in fornication? HEY wait I don't know what that word actually means! STOP DRAGGING ME!"
Everyone watched the couple noisily slide away and Carl gulped. He knew what the word meant and what it felt like. . . or at least now he did. Kokonoe cleared her throat and looked at the little blushing man. "Hello there, uh, Carl right?"
"Uh, Yes ma'am" the boy answered shocked and still red in the face.
"You had a question you wanted to ask me right? Well go on, ask it." Kokonoe instructed as Ada shifted nosily next to her brother.
"Uh yes. . . Is there anyway you can turn my sister back into a human again? I have wanted to get her body back for a while now and if you could help that'd mean a whole lot to me." Carl explained head lowering in a bow.
"Hmmm, I am certain I can but it will require I do something to both of you. . ." Kokonoe warned as she reached for something on a desk behind her.
"Yes. . . I am certain, change her back at any cost." Carl said seriously as he brow furrowed in a mix of excitement and nervous worry.
"Oooooooo'kay." Kokonoe shot back and started strapping something onto his waist and it squeezed him tightly. As Carl started to inspect it Kokonoe walked over to Ada, strapped a similar item to her and hummed in approval. Carl noted it was a belt and it glowed a odd purple light. Before he could ask her about it Kokonoe pressed a button on his and a bright flash of purple light filled his vision.
What the heck just happened?! God, I feel stiff and tired. . . Wha- A softly mature feminine voice broke the silence and Carl's eyes shot over to the woman it fell from, "Oh my goodness. . . I can feel things again. I Can Move easily again!"
ADA! You. . . why aren't I talking?! "Huh, that worked perfectly! Too bad the little one is stuck like that now." Kokonoe mused as she walked over to Ada. Ada was crying happily as she looked at her hands and fiddled her fingers back and forth. She ran her fingers through her shoulder length bleach blond hair and a moan of pleasure drifted from the woman. Ada. . . What's going on?
Ada turned to Carl and she winced as she just now noticed her brother. "Sorry brother, I wouldn't have asked you to turn into a machine for me but I am grateful. . ."
WHAT! I'm stuck in this body now?!
As if she knew what he was trying to say she shook her head and put a hand on his shoulder. She looked much taller than him and he realized it before she started explaining, "No. . . You're not in the Nirvana, you're in a little Carl doll. . . Sorry brother."
Get me out of here! Sis, I don't like this. . . Carl begged sorrowfully in thought.
Ada looked at him and then to the belt still wrapped around her middle, "I'm sorry again brother. . . But I can turn you back whenever I want so there is no need to cry. . . But I need to pay you back for having sex in front of me. . ."
SIS! I DIDN'T MEAN T-
"Come on Carl, I'm going to have a night on the town." Ada called over her shoulder she headed back for the still open portal and Carl's little body started stiffly following her out. "Thanks Kokonoe!"
"Hey Wa. . . Nevermind, just be back before too long! Those are really expensive!" Kokonoe warned as she started rubbing the back of her head. "Had sex in front of her? Damn. . . that's awkward. . . oh well, NEXT!"
Platinum trotted forward and Kokonoe sighed as the pink haired women locked eyes. "Alright you li- Lost Child. . ." Kokonoe re-stated before she could curse at the little girl, "What's your question?"
"WHY. Haven't I been in the story until now?" Luna griped as her eyes tightened in accusation.
"Well. . ." a masculine voice came from the shadows and Kokonoe threw a ruler at the voice.
"SHUT UP! You're writing you don't get to talk!"
"Oh. . . sorry."
"NOW GET BACK TO WORK!" the scientist yelled into the sky. . . "Anyway, to answer your question you didn't fit in too well with the rest of the group. That's the main reason why."
"I don't fit in?! What ya talking about you crazy cat lady." Luna spat and Sena groaned a soft apology to the scientist.
"Well. . ." Kokonoe almost snarled as she tried to get her tails to stop tensing, "It's because no one likes you!"
"Of course people like me! I am super cute, way cuter than you, you jackass!" Luna snarled back and her fist clenched around her large belled mace.
"People may think you're cute but your a pest! Hell, you're in the games why more than I am but you piss all the other characters off you little snot!" Kokonoe sneered as she started to walk away from the woman. "There's nothing I can do to fix you."
"Well screw you, you dumbass! Why did I even come here!" Luna growled and she followed after the scientist.
"Perhaps," Rachel added as she drew closer to them, "I can help."
"Just shut you brat!" Kokonoe fumed as she turned and glared at Trinity.
"That's it bitch!" Luna shot back and Sena gasped horrified.
Rachel drew from her dress a pair of pink shaded glasses and she held them up to the two women who were ignoring her. "These are the Spectacles of Eros. No one can escape their affect. It would be an excellent-" Luna pulled her weapon back to strike Kokonoe but instead she slammed it into Rachel and the enchanted glasses flew out of Rachel's hand and through the still open portal several yards away. "YOU FOOL!"
"You hag!" Luna screamed at Kokonoe.
"You bitch!" Kokonoe spat at Trinity and all three woman begun clawing at one another in a vicious fight. . .
MEANWHILE!
A black mass slithered through the alley's shadows as something slammed into it's face. "Whaaaa'!" Gurgled Arakune and he rose from the ground looking around to see what had struck him. His masked face never noticed the magical pink glasses had stuck to him. "Hmmmmmm. . . I g'essss 't was no'ing"
"ARAKUNE! Oh my GOD, I never realized you were so hot!" Makoto screamed from behind the black being and it turned towards the woman horrified.
"Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh't?!"
AN: Hey, haven't actually done gag chapter one, I didn't realize this chapter would take so long to write but it was pretty funny for me. Hope you enjoyed, gag chapter one incoming in a few days.
Over 4000 views?! Holy **** I mean WOW! I am impressed! Thanks for the follows and patronage!
Sorry Carl and Platinum just couldn't get you in the story proper. . . Soooo I guess just like everyone else-
Keep up the Reading and Remember to Stay Classy!
