Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don' own anything.

AN1; I Have finished the last chapter of this story. There are 16.


Day Three.

After cooking a barbecue together, where Phil, Maria and Natasha made sure Melinda and Clint where nowhere near the food, and Natasha made sure that Phil and Maria didn't do anything to the food; the five friends ending up just sitting inside playing board games before heading to bed.

It is about three am and at first Natasha isn't sure why she has been woken but then she hears,

"No, don't make me." In a painful whisper.

Quickly Natasha turns around and she finds Melinda clearly in the middle of a painful dream. Over Melinda she looks over at Clint who has also been woken up by Melinda.

"Mel, wake up." Natasha says, moving so that she is kneeling next to Melinda, being sure not to touch her as she knows how Melinda reacted to being touched after Bahrain and is sure that trying to wake her by touch won't end well.

"We can fix this, we figured it out once we can do it again, Phil, no, no don't make me." Melinda says and Natasha and Clint exchange confused and concerned looks as tears roll down Melinda's face.

"Mel, wake up." Clint says turning on the light, before kneeling next to Melinda too.

"No, don't make me do this, we can figure it out." Melinda says.

"Whatever you're seeing isn't real." Natasha says, "Open your eyes Mel, come on, open your eyes." Natasha says, a forcefulness to her voice as she wants her friend to wake up, she doesn't want Melinda to keep being tortured by whatever it is that she is seeing.

"I can't, I won't." Melinda says.

"MEL, WAKE UP." Clint yells and clearly startled Melinda bolds up to a sitting position, "Sorry, it was the only thing I could think of to get you to wake." Clint explains, to Melinda who is looking quiet panicked.

"Thanks." Melinda mutters, as she forces herself to calm down once she realises where she is, "I need some air." Melinda says crawling across the bed and rushing out of the room.

"Okay, what was that about?" Clint asks.

"I don't know." Natasha admits, "But I'm going to find out." She says before getting up and following Melinda.

"Wait for me." Clint says and he follows Natasha.


When Clint and Natasha get outside they find Melinda sitting on the steps so they walk over and sit either side of her, both making sure that they aren't close enough to touch Melinda. For a while Natasha, Clint and Melinda just sit in silence, neither Natasha nor Clint wanting to force Melinda to talk and Melinda not really wanting to.

"You said Phil." Natasha tells Melinda after about forty minutes of silence, "You said don't make me." Natasha says and both she and Clint notice Melinda tense, "What were you dreaming about?"

For a little while Melinda is quiet and Natasha and Clint are sure that she isn't going to answer Natasha, "The side effects had started up again and it was worse before. Phil was saying that it was time for me to keep my promise, time for me to shot him in the head." Melinda explains, "It feels so real." She says and what surprises Natasha and Clint the most is that Melinda is showing how raddled she is, she is showing how much her dream affected her.

"You've had the dream before." Natasha realises.

"Many times." Melinda answers, her voice barely loud enough for Natasha and Clint to hear.

"Mel?" Clint asks in a gentle voice a few minutes later. Clint has known Melinda long enough to know she needs to but just needs a little encouragement to do so.

"I had a plan." Melinda says, "If Phil got worse, if he went the way of Garrett, I was going to get him out, I was going to take him to the Australian Outback." Melinda says. Natasha and Clint exchange confused looks at the mention of Garrett but they both realise that it's not the time to question that.

"Because Phil likes Kangaroos." Natasha comments.

"Because Phil likes Kangaroos." Melinda confirms, "I was going to look after him. I was going to figure out a way to help." Melinda says the determination in her voice telling Natasha and Clint that Melinda means what she said and that nothing would have stopped her, "But Phil didn't want that. He told me to forget all that and shot him as ordered. He ordered me to shot him in the head if he got worse." Melinda says, "I keep dreaming that that's what happened. That the carving didn't stop that he got worse and I see Phil begging me to shot him, and….. I do." Melinda says a tear coming to her eyes.

"I'm sorry Mel. I can't imagine how that must be for you." Clint says, hesitantly reaching out and grabbing Melinda's hand, giving it a quick squeeze then letting go, wishing he could say or do something that would actually help.

"You're right, you can't, but thanks." Melinda says and the three of them drift into silence, Natasha making an internal note to talk to Maria as soon as possible.

"Do you want to spar?" Natasha asks, having a feeling that none of them are going to be able to get to sleep and that they could all use a distraction.

"Sounds good to me." Clint says, knowing exactly what Natasha is doing, and Melinda gives a nod. As all three friends stand up Natasha slowly reaches over and wipes Melinda's tear away and gives her a comforting smile one that Melinda returns, "So one on one or all-out war?" Clint asks curious, acting like he didn't see what just happened.

"Bit of both." Melinda says and Natasha nods, "All-out war first." She says as they arrive on the ground and a few seconds later they all start to fight.


At the Playground Skye, Fitz, Simmons, Bobbi, Hunter and Mack are all still awake, though that might be due to the coffee that Fitz and Simmons made, and are enjoying their marathon. It is about seven am and they are all still sitting in the common area, where they have been since the night before.

"Hey, Billy, why don't you join us?" Skye suggests when she looks to see Billy walk in the room, she has turned back to the TV so quickly that she doesn't even notice that someone else has walked in behind him.

"Because I have work to do Agent Skye, and Dr Garner is here." Billy says.

"What?" The six agents say surprised as the turn, Fitz pausing the DVD, to see Andrew standing next to Billy.

"Dr Garner, what are you doing here?" Bobbi asks, surprised to see him.

"I told Coulson that I would once a month evaluations for the next few months, didn't he tell you?" Andrew asks. Basically the only reason he agreed to that is because he the people on the team need help and they probably wouldn't accept it from anyone other than him.

"No, he didn't." Skye says, having a pretty good idea why that is.

"Where is Coulson anyway?" Andrew asks curious as normally when he comes to base either Coulson or Melinda are waiting to great him, not Billy.

"That's a good question, Mate." Hunter says.

"You don't know?" Andrew asks surprised and growing concerned.

"Nope." Skye, Fitz, Simmons, Bobbi, Hunter and Mack answer.

"What about Melinda? Where is she?" Andrew asks, some urgency to his voice.

"That's another good question." Skye says.

"So they're missing? And you're just sitting here watching movies." He says shocked.

"They're not missing." Bobbi says calmly, "Take a seat and we'll explain everything." She says and so Andrew walks over to the table, grabs a chair and pulls it over.

"Tell me everything." Andrew says as he sits down.


After doing all-out war sparing for a while Natasha, Clint and Melinda switched to one on one. The first match of which was Natasha verses Melinda. When she finishes her match with Melinda and Clint walks over to have his turn against Melinda Natasha notices the light in the kitchen on; because she knows that they didn't turn it on Natasha knows that it must mean Phil and Maria are awake which means she can talk to Maria about what she wants to talk about.

"I'll be back." Natasha calls over her shoulder as she walks inside.


"So ten days ago…" Skye says.

"Eleven." Bobbi corrects.

"Eleven, are you sure?" Skye asks.

"Positive."

"Okay, eleven days ago Coulson and May said that they were going away for a couple of days to see some old friends and tell them that he is alive." Skye explains, "Turns out those friends were Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff."

"Clint and Natasha didn't know Phil was alive?" Andrew asks surprised as he though they knew, although neither Phil nor Melinda mentioned them in all the times they talked so that should have been a clue that something was up.

"Nope." Skye says, "We didn't know that that's who they went to see until we showed up to pick them up for a mission and they were standing with the Avengers, to say it was a shock would be an understatement."

"Natasha and Barton joined us on the mission. It went well." Bobbi says, "Natasha and May did their thing."

"Of course they did." Andrew says, not even surprised by that.

"When we got back here Maria Hill was here and the five of them went up to Coulson's office." Bobbi says.

"They were up there for a while then Barton and Romanoff came down and left. Leaving Hill, May and Coulson." Hunter says.

"Since Agents Barton and Romanoff left Coulson and May were different." Simmons says.

"Different how?" Andrew asks, trying not to be concerned as different could easily mean the way they used to be which would be very strange for the team as they would have never seen Coulson and Melinda like that.

"They shut themselves in Coulson's office and we didn't realise until we saw a little more of them in the next few days, but they were miserable." Fitz explains.

"Natasha and Clint didn't take Coulson, Melinda and Hill keeping his death a secret well." Andrew realises, once more growing concerned.

"They really didn't." Skye confirms, "Coulson said that they lost Barton and Romanoff's trust and that they damaged the bond that they shared."

"Okay, that doesn't explain where Coulson and Melinda are and why you're not worried." Andrew says, realising that Coulson, Melinda and Hill would be hurting a lot of things between them, Natasha and Clint are as bad as they seem.

"We're getting to that." Mack says.

"Three days ago we went to dinner at Avengers Tower, and Fury crashed…."

"Fury's alive?" Andrew says shocked, though he realises that he really shouldn't be.

"Yeah, I probably shouldn't have told you that." Skye says with a shrug, "Anyway Fury pulled Coulson, May, Barton, Romanoff and Hill into another room."

"They were in there a while and when they came out no one looked happy." Hunter explains.

"Fury said that May, Coulson, Barton and Romanoff weren't staying for dinner and that they were going away for a few days." Mack explains.

"Director Coulson said that they would be back in five days. Agent Romanoff said that there was no way to get in contact with them and Agent Barton said that it was personal, not business." Simmons explains.

"We realised that Fury took them away so that the five of them could work on their relationship but we don't know any more than that." Bobbi explains.

"When are they due back?" Andrew ask as he could see this ending one of two ways, either they will be back to how they used to be or their relationship will be a million times worse.

"Day after tomorrow." Skye answers.

"Okay, I think I will stay until then." Andrew says as he knows that if things are worse than Coulson and Melinda, will be in bad shape and that Hill, who would also be in bad shape, would be likely to stay for a while as well.

"Sure, you're welcome to stay." Bobbi says.

"Wait, you were married to May!" Skye says, almost like she only just realised, "That means you must know Barton, Romanoff and Maria and the relationship they had." Skye says happily, "What were they like? Do you spending time together will help? Do you think they will be okay?" Skye asks, wanting to get answers from someone who might truly understand the relationship that Coulson, May, Natasha, Clint and Maria share.


When Natasha walks inside she heads straight to the kitchen area where she finds Maria and Phil making breakfast.

"Maria. I need to talk to you." Natasha says causing both Phil and Maria to look up from what they are doing.

"Sure." Maria says, "You've got this?" She asks Phil, realising that Natasha isn't giving her a choice.

"Yeah, I've got this." Phil says, curious about what Natasha wants to talk to Maria about, and Natasha and Maria head to one of the bedrooms.

"What's up?" Maria asks once the door is closed.

"If the worse happened to Phil, before Hydra came out of the shadows, what were Mel's orders?" Natasha asks.

"Contact Fury via a hidden encrypted line and await instructions." Maria says wondering why Natasha is bringing this up now, "While she was waiting on that or even before if it came to that she was ordered to take down Phil with the help of the specialist on the team, Ward"

"Subdue or Kill?"

"Subdue was the preferred, but the kill was greenlit if it became necessary." Maria says, it being painful for her to admit that.

"Mel was ordered to kill Phil if it came to that?" Natasha asks, anger in her voice.

"Yes."

"Fury's order."

"Yes."

"Damn it Maria! How could you be okay with Mel getting an order like that?" Natasha asks.

"I wasn't." Maria says, "But it might have been necessary." Maria says, avoiding looking at Natasha.

"That is just cruel, and you know I know cruel." Natasha says, an undertone of fury in her voice, "You saw how Mel was after New York, after the funeral, you…. Was that a lie?" Natasha asks.

"What?"

"The way you were after the battle, after the funeral, the way we were together, was that a lie?" Natasha asks, the tiniest hint of pain, something that you wouldn't pick up on unless you've been around the 'true' Natasha, in her voice.

"It wasn't' a lie." Maria says, "Fury didn't tell me what he was doing until a week after the funeral, until after he was back. I wasn't lying then, that was real." Maria says and they are both quiet, "Why are you asking about this, Nat?"

"Because a few hours ago Clint and I were woken by Mel having a nightmare." Natasha reveals, normally she wouldn't betray Melinda's privacy but Maria needs to understand the effect that this whole thing has on Melinda, "What everyone was worried about came back and Mel was begging Phil not to make her shoot him." Natasha says stressing the begging, "What Mel was asked to do wasn't fair and it certainly wasn't fair to make her deal with it alone. We should have been told so then at least we could have helped each other, made it so none of us had to deal with it alone." She tells Maria.

"It was Fury's call to lie to you, not mine, not Mel's, and not Phil's." Maria says, "I'm not finished." She says when Natasha goes to open her mouth, "Phil knowing the truth about what happened to him, and seeing writing that Garrett did after he had the same formula that brought Phil back, is exactly what caused him to have the side effects we were all so worried about." Maria tells Natasha, "Mel had to spend months with Phil watching him search for answers knowing that if he found them then we could lose him all over again. For months all Phil knew was that he was dead for eight seconds not the truth. Every time my phone rang I was terrified that it was Mel or Fury telling me that the worse has happened, that we had lost him again, and I don't even know how Fury handled it. When Phil found out the truth he told Mel that she wasn't a friend. She lost him after months of doing everything to try and protect him. You should have been told I know that, so do Phil and Mel, but Fury was trying to protect you, and Clint, from what we were going through, from what we were experiencing." Maria says, "Hate Fury, hell hate me, but Mel and Phil they don't deserve your anger, they don't deserve to lose your trust." Maria says, Natasha goes to say something but before she can she hears,

"DAMN IT." Being yelled by Phil, so after exchanging a look Natasha and Maria go running back into the kitchen.


"If I tell you a little will you all let me conduct my evaluations without complaint?" Andrew asks, realising that it is slightly unethical but realising that there is likely no other way to get them to talk to him willingly now that morphine isn't in the mix.

"Give us a minutes." Skye says and the six agents huddle up together, trying to decide.

"Okay, we'll talk to you." Bobbi tells Andrew after about a minute of the six agents having a whispered conversation.

"Without complaint?" Andrew asks.

"As long as you tell us something about May, Coulson, Barton, Romanoff and Hill that we don't know we won't complain." Hunter says.

"I can do that." Andrew says, "They five of them were close."

"We know that." Mack says.

"I met all five of them at the same time in March of 2004." Andrew reveals, "There was a mission, a potential INDEX case and it got….complicated." Andrew says causing the others to exchange looks, "Long story short I was assigned to complete an evaluation on any agent who was involved in any way and that included, Coulson, Melinda, Natasha, Clint, and Maria." He explains, "All the other agents came to me without problem, except them."

"That doesn't seem like a surprise." Hunter comments.

"So I went searching. I found them in the gym, I tried to get them to come to my office, they wouldn't. I tried to talk to them individually, they wouldn't. So we talked together, there and then." He says, "When I submitted my report to Fury I was worried because I hadn't managed to get them to talk, but he was actually impressed that I got as much as I had got." Andrew says, having remembered being called into Fury's office and expecting to be remanded, "Melinda and I started to date a few months later and once we were married I found Clint, and or Natasha, sometimes Hill and very rarely Phil asleep on our couch quiet often." Andrew reveals, telling something that they don't know but something that the five agents won't mind shared, "Now, who's first?"


When Natasha and Maria they find trying to pick up flower and a broken bowel of the floor.

"You alright?" Natasha asks as they walk over to him.

"Yeah, just useless." Phil mutters, as yesterday ridding the bikes he felt like he used to so he didn't even think to call for help when he started doing two things at once like he always used to do.

"You're not useless." Natasha and Maria say together as they help him to clean up what he broke.

"It feels like it." Phil mutters.

"Well you're not." Maria tells him, "You've lost a hand, that's an adjustment."

"I know that!" Phil says annoyed, "Sorry, I…..I just thought I could cook like I used to.'

"Maybe one day you will, isn't Stark working on a prosthetic for you?" Natasha asks.

"Yeah, he is." Phil confirms.

"Then who knows, this time next week you could be cooking like an expert again." Natasha says with a supportive smile.

"Maybe." Phil says, not letting himself believe that.

"How about until then we offer our hands to help." Maria says.

"That would be good." Phil says.

"Well then what do you need us to do?" Natasha asks.

"Help with the pancakes an omelettes. I can do the bacon." Phil says.

"Can do." Maria says and the three friends start work on breakfast together.


"So Skye, how are you doing?" Andrew asks as after being the person who was nominate by the others to talk to Andrew first the two of them have headed up to Coulson's office.

"Fine." Skye says, "Great, perfect."

"Do you want to expand on that?" Andrew asks.

"Not particularly."

"Skye."

"I am good right now, really." Skye tells Andrew, "Two days ago I used my powers so we could all have fun and it was amazing." Skye says happily, "I didn't hurt anyone, or push a plane, I used my powers for fun." Skye says happily.

"Why don't you tell me about it?" Andrew requests and that's what Skye does.


"Do you two mind if I take first shower?" Melinda asks curious as She, Clint and Natasha walk into their shared breakfast after a quiet pleasant breakfast where no one of them really talked.

"Not at all." Natasha says.

"Go right ahead." Clint say sand with a nod Melinda walks into the bathroom while Natasha and Clint sit down on the bed, "How did you talk with Maria go?" Clint asks once he and Natasha hear the water start to run.

"It was informative." Natasha says, "Things were so much worse than we knew." She says as she crosses her legs.

"What do you mean?" Clint asks with a frown.

"Phil didn't even know the truth about what was done to him until months after. He only thought he was dead for eight seconds, and according to Maria when he found out Melinda knew from the beginning he told her that they weren't friends." Natasha reveals.

"Wow." Clint says shocked, not being able to imagine that as even with how angry and betrayed he feels he wouldn't say that they weren't friends.

"Yeah." Natasha says, "It seems like every day since they found out the truth that Maria and Mel were expecting to lose him again." Natasha says, "We lost him once, and we know he's okay now, but Mel and Maria lost him once then expected to lose him again every day for months."

"So you think we were too hard on them." Clint realises.

"I don't know." Natasha admits honestly telling the truth as she isn't sure what to think.


"So last time we talked you weren't sure if you could be an agent. How are you feeling about everything now?" Andrew asks Bobbi the second person he's talked to after Skye.

"I'm not sure." Bobbi admits, "I…I don't know if I can be the agent I was before, but….."

"But?" Andrew asks giving Bobbi a gentle prod.

"I don't want to leave." Bobbi says, surprising herself "Things with Hunter are good again and it's nice to be with Mack all the time." She admits as she missed her friend when they were assigned to different places, "And I don't want to leave Skye, Simmons and Fitz." Bobbi says, "The entire time I was healing they did whatever they could to help, they kept me company but they never once let me feel sorry for myself." She admits, deciding to admit something she hasn't told anyone, "I don't have any siblings, but being around Fitz, Simmons and Skye I can't help but feel that that's what having younger siblings would feel like, and even though I'm hesitant about the job I don't want to leave them." She admits.

"I can't tell you what to do, that's not my job." Andrew tells Bobbi, "What I can do is tell you that you have to make this decision for yourself. Decide what you can do. Staying doesn't mean you have to be who you were before, you can decide to be different, be a different type of agent if you want, the choice is yours." Andrew tells Bobbi.

"I think…. I think I'm going to stay." Bobbi tells Andrew, "and figure out who I am now." She says and Andrew gives her a supportive smile.


Ever since Clint and Natasha talked when Melinda was in the shower it has been clear to the others that something was bothering them, though if you didn't know Clint and Natasha as well as Phil, Maria, and Melinda it would be impossible to tell.

After spending a day where they have mostly done their own things the five friends are once more sitting around a fire they built with beers.

"Are we going to talk about what is going on or just ignore it like we're ignoring everything else?" Phil asks curious, not being able to deal with the silence any longer.

"What do you mean?" Clint asks.

"Something's bothering you and Nat, and Melinda and Maria clearly know." Phil says, "So are we going to talk about it or not?"

"I would say not." Maria mutters

"What exactly have you guys been doing for the past two and a half years?" Natasha asks, looking at Phil and Melinda who are sitting next to each other.

"What?" Melinda ask surprised.

"It's come to our attention that we really have no idea what you've been up to, or what you've been going through, since Phil was brought back and we want to know." Clint says, "We want to understand."

"There's a lot of things." Phil says after exchanging a look with Melinda, "It will take a while." He says.

"We've got plenty of time." Natasha says.

At that Phil and Melinda exchange looks and they both nod, "It all started when Fury called me into his office six months after The Battle of New York." Melinda says and together with Phil, and Maria adding in what she knows, the three friends being to explain everything that has happened, everything they have gone through in the two and a half years.