Author's Note: Supernatural Season 13 is on Netflix! So, I doubt anyone will be reading my fanfiction... but I'm going to update anyways. Please review! Thanks Sherrbabe, and everyone who followed my story. Critiques are welcome. I 3 reviews (almost as much as I 3 Cas)!
February 14
Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong.
Castiel had known it as soon as he had met up with Sam, Dean, and Ember in a morgue on their latest case. He knew it because as soon as he saw Ember, he immediately imagined bending her over the medical table and having his way with her.
She had never looked so appealing. She wore a black dress and high heels, and he'd never seen her in either one before. He could lift up the dress, and –
What the hell was wrong with him? He had never imagined Ember in this way before, aside from the one time when Dean had asked if he had "done a little cloud seeding", more than six months previously.
Ember herself seemed no different. She was dressed differently, this was true, but it was Valentine's Day. Perhaps she had had other engagements earlier, but currently she was wearing a blue apron over the black dress, and gloves on her long-fingered hands which were spotted with human blood. She stood staring intently at a human heart… What were Sam and Dean asking about?
In the end, Castiel and the brothers determined that a cupid had gone rogue in the town. He was leaving marks on the hearts of various couples in the town, and the couples were killing each other.
But something was still wrong. Nothing about a rogue cupid explained the way Ember was making him feel currently. Every time he looked at her, he felt as though he couldn't stop staring. Each time he thought about her, he thought about touching her – running his hand down her arm, delving into her mind, kissing her pouty lips, even running his hands up her legs. The anatomy of his vessel began to respond, and that had never, never happened before.
Castiel might previously have thought that something was wrong with his vessel, or even that something was wrong with himself. These thoughts and feelings occurred so suddenly and with such strength, however, that he was forced to conclude fairly quickly that the root cause was supernatural. And, if he was honest with himself, it was a far stronger force than a cupid could provide.
In his desperation to distract himself from Ember, Castiel found that his vessel in particular had another vice – cheeseburgers. He first noticed it when he, Sam, and Dean were staking out the rogue cupid in a night club. Dean didn't finish his burger, and Castiel found that he was suddenly hungry for it.
To Castiel, it tasted like cardboard, just as all human food. Jimmy's appreciation for it was so strong, however, that Castiel could finally begin to understand what humans saw in certain foods.
The cupid was not responsible for the odd deaths, as it turned out. Once this had been determined, Castiel left Ember's side abruptly, before he did something he would regret.
He materialized in Antarctica. When this didn't help, he rematerialized in the middle of the Sahara Desert. But it didn't matter – wherever he went, the thoughts of Ember continued, skirting infrequently across his mind when he wasn't paying attention. He would pull off her apron first, and then –
Castiel said a prayer to avoid temptation, then flew to the nearest burger establishment in the town where Sam and Dean were still debating the case of the couples that had murdered each other. One sort of hunger satisfied for the moment, he set about conquering the larger issue.
February 15
Famine. It was Famine, the Horseman.
It hadn't been hard to find the source of the hunger, to be honest. All he'd had to do was find a demon who would give up information under threat of smiting, and there were quite a few of them around town.
Honestly, if it hadn't been for the effects of Famine, the job would've taken him maybe twenty minutes. As it was, it took him more than 12 hours. He couldn't stop thinking about Ember's eyes, looking into his as her tongue traveled down his -…
There were a lot of cheeseburgers involved.
Finally, when he figured out what was going on, he summoned his courage and flew the place he wanted to go most – to Ember's side.
She looked beautiful, now wearing a pair of jeans and a pink tank top. He would pull the strap down first, and kiss just under it. Then he would kiss up her neck, and she would smell like she always did, like oranges and demon and-
NO! He was an Angel of the Lord, damn it.
Ember was watching Dean and Sam, who were investigating the contents of a briefcase.
"It's a human soul," said Castiel, and all three of them spun around, realizing his presence for the first time. "It's starting to make sense," Castiel continued, taking a large bite of his latest cheeseburger.
"Now what about that makes sense?" Sam said.
"And when did you start eating?" asked Dean.
Ember said nothing, but she looked at him with more anger on her face than he had ever seen. When she caught his eye, her face turned ugly, and an angry frown flew across her features. What had he done? He could kiss the frown and make it go away… he could-…
"Exactly," said Castiel, attempting to reorient himself to surroundings. "My hunger – it's a clue, actually."
"For what?" the brothers asked at once.
"This town isn't suffering from some love-gone-wrong effect," Castiel said, determinedly looking away from Ember. "It's suffering from hunger. Starvation, to be exact. Specifically, Famine."
Ember let out a long breath, and Sam said, "Famine? As in… the Horseman?"
"Great," said Dean. "That's freaking great."
"I thought famine meant starvation. Like, as in, you know, food," Sam said.
"Yes," said Castiel, "Absolutely. But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something – sex, attention, drugs, love." He continued to avoid Ember's gaze, but he could feel her staring at him. The stare was almost painful. She was obviously mad at him… for something. She would be very mad at him, if he touched her, perhaps. She would be even more mad if he kissed her-…
"Well, that explains the puppy lovers that cupid shot up," Dean said.
"Right," said Castiel. "The cherub made them crave love, and then Famine came, and made them rabid for it."
"Okay, but what about you?" Dean asked. "I mean, since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?"
"It's my vessel – Jimmy," Castiel said. "His, uh, appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's effect."
"So Famine just rolls into town, and everybody goes crazy?" Dean asked.
"And then will come Famine riding on a black steed," Castiel quoted. "He will ride into the land of plenty, and great will be the Horseman's hunger, because he is hunger."
While he spoke, he caught Ember's eye for the last time. She gave him a hateful glare as she quietly left out the door while the brothers weren't looking.
Should he let her go? Yes. He had to, for her own safety.
Why was she leaving? What did she hunger for? It certainly wasn't him, and it obviously wasn't Dean, either. She was half-demon, he knew. Killing… she must hunger for killing. This was it, then. She was leaving to protect the brothers, and he needed to let her leave to protect her from himself.
"So what, this whole town is just going to eat, drink, and screw itself to death?" Sam asked from inside the bathroom.
"We should stop it," said Castiel, who was working on another burger.
"Ember?" Dean asked suddenly, looking around and realizing she was gone.
"Ember!" he said again, leaping up and grabbing the keys to the Impala, which she hadn't taken.
"Let her go, Dean," Castiel said, and Dean stopped. Now that she had left the room, he found that his mind was the slightest bit clearer.
"What the hell, Cas?" Dean said to his friend.
"Dean," said Sam, who was sitting down on the bed, looking tired and sweating more than usual. "I love Ember, I do, but… she's half-demon. What do you think she hungers for?"
~ANGELS WILL FALL~
After Ember left, Castiel was ashamed to admit that he didn't remember much. He remembered going with Dean to confront Famine. He remembered meat… raw meat, and lots of it, and he couldn't stop. He remembered sensing, suddenly, that Ember was near, just out of reach… and then he was banished, and he abruptly found himself on the shores of the Nile River.
"Aaaaarrrrrrggggg!" he yelled with frustration, because both the raw meat and Ember had been suddenly ripped away from him.
Then, mercifully, just as he flew back to Famine, it was over. The hunger, previously so loud he could hear nothing else, was gone.
The scene he arrived upon when he returned was an alarming one. Dean stood in shock, covered in small cuts and bruises. Sam stood across from him, demon blood covering his mouth. He had lost his fight with it, then. The man who had previously been Famine lay dead and immobile in his wheelchair. And Ember was crying into Dean's lapels.
He sifted quickly through his feelings for her – tenderness, the feeling he had for her because she was his friend and she was crying. Attraction – his normal attraction to her, because she was half-demon and that was her power. Protectiveness, because he was an Angel of the Lord, and she was one of his father's creatues, half-demon or otherwise. Back to normal, then.
Maybe. "Demons," she was saying, her voice muffled because she was crying into Dean's shirt. She hiccupped to catch her breath. "And angels, apparently. I left so… so I wouldn't kill Cas. Demons… when I was younger, I was so angry, and so now… I couldn't control it. I killed them all…"
Wait. Castiel had been sure that Sam had been right. Ember was a half-demon. It would only be natural that her hunger would be to finally give in to the temptation that she had kept at bay for so many years and be… evil. Instead, her hunger had been… vengeance?
He knew the things that had happened to her as a teenager, before she knew how to exorcise demons, and before her powers of invisibility had been as strong as they were when she had reached the end of puberty. He knew, even better than Dean did, because he had been in her head. Still, he never would have guessed that her greatest hunger would be her hatred of the creatures that had traumatized her. Her demon powers, when forced out of control and exacerbated by Famine, had been used to kill demons.
"I'm so sorry, Cas," she said, seeing him at last. "That's why I left. I couldn't be around you. It's not you, it's angels in general. And I don't feel it now, and I don't want to kill you, I promise, but…"
"There's no need," said Cas, nodding stiffly at Ember. "Famine brought out the hunger in all of us." He wanted to leave. He suddenly felt horribly uncomfortable. The memories of the things he had imagined over the past 24 hours swam in his head, mixed along with the things he had seen in Ember's head from her own childhood, and suddenly he couldn't bear to stand next to her anymore.
Perhaps demons and angels were not so different after all, he thought.
He wanted to leave. "I'll take Sam back to Bobby's panic room to detox. I wasn't very helpful. It's the least I can do." Castiel knew that Sam and Ember had worked together to get rid of Famine, and all he had done was shovel raw meat down his throat and think about Ember in a variety of provocative poses. He was worthless. But Sam would need to be detoxed from the demon blood in Bobby's panic room, and it would give Castiel a chance to get a handle on his emotions.
Dean nodded at Sam, who looked resigned but determined. He then nodded at Castiel, who left with Sam without a word.
After Sam had been dropped off at Bobby's, however, Castiel returned to the town now ransacked by Famine. He didn't seek out Dean and Ember, but instead looked for the carnage that he knew Ember must have left behind.
It wasn't hard to find. Ember must have stood in a large field, away from humans, and released every bit of power she possessed in one gigantic wave. She must have erased the Enochian sigils on her ribs (he would have to re-do those), and shed the hex bags she still carried from Ruby. Then she had released a gigantic wave of power that he had felt from all the way across town. It was the only explanation for the carnage.
The demons had come running when she called. They must've come for miles. Strewn across the field were bodies – 13 total, he counted, though a couple of them were in pieces. And everywhere – absolutely everywhere – there was sulfur. There was sulfur on the trees, sulfur on the ground, sulfur covering all of the leaves. How many demons were smited to create this amount of sulfer? Tens? Hundreds? Thirteen of them had come in their meat suits, but how many came without meat suits? Castiel wasn't sure.
Making up his mind, Castiel flew to Dean's side and woke him as gently as possible. Ember was beside him. Castiel pointed at her and put his fingers to his lips, and gestured for Dean to follow him. When Dean stood up and came close to Castiel, the angel flew with Dean to the clearing in the forest.
"I wanted you to see it," Castiel said, "before I cleared it up. Your girlfriend has secured her place in Heaven. So long as she does not stray from the path she is on, the angels will honor her among us. But… that does not mean she has not also gone farther on the path of darkness."
"What does that mean?" Dean asked.
"Killing demons, in any capacity, is considered an act of Heaven," Castiel said. "But an infection by Famine, particularly one that causes a killing spree – not to mention the killing of human hosts - will tempt her dark side."
"Will she be okay?" Dean asked Castiel, concerned.
"There is no evidence to the contrary at the moment," Castiel said. "The angels are impressed with her, at least."
Dean rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing."
"No," said Castiel. "I'm pretty sure that Lucifer and the demons will decide, in the wake of this tragedy, that they won't be able to use her in the way that they thought that they would," he said. "Before they wanted her left alive, to use if they could convert her. Now it seems she falls in league with you, that they want her dead as soon as possible."
"Always what I love to hear," Dean said sarcastically. He looked caught off guard, taken aback, and it was not a good look for the confident hunter. "Why… why didn't you bring her?" he asked Castiel at last.
"She doesn't like the dead bodies," Castiel reminded Dean. "She scares me when she cries."
There was a long pause. Finally, Dean asked, "How many demons did she kill last night?"
Castiel shook his head. "Somewhere upwards of 100, I'd say," he said, and Dean's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Last night her power must've reached…." Castiel blew out a breath. "Every demon in the Midwest, perhaps."
"Every demon in the Midwest?" Dean said, shocked.
Castiel shrugged. "Only the low-level ones that could be easily attracted. That's why she didn't kill any angels. We don't come simply because a half-demon calls."
"Don't call her that!" Dean told Castiel sharply.
"I apologize," said Castiel matter-of-factly. "I did not mean it as an insult. Like I said, she has earned her place with us in Heaven."
"I'll let her know that," Dean said sarcastically. "You're right, she'll be really upset about the 13 humans she killed, and how close she got to going 'dark side.'"
Castiel nodded. The matter concluded, he flew Dean back to the motel room and disappeared.
April 6
MORE THAN ONE MONTH LATER
Castiel had returned the following morning to rebrand Ember's ribs with Enochian. After that, however, Castiel avoided Ember as much as possible over the next month. He no longer feared the cause of his attraction to the half-demon, but the depth of his feelings scared him.
Finally, however, he no longer had a choice.
"Cas, help! $29 Inn, Manchester, New Hampshire!"
Castiel arrived immediately. Before he had time to orient himself to his surroundings, Ember had thrown herself into his arms and was sobbing into his trenchcoat. Had he been human, the force alone would have caused him to stagger backward. As it was, he was slightly winded, but mostly confused. Her heady smell overwhelmed him, and he had one brief flash in which he imagined that she might stay there forever. With a start, he realized that his arms were around her.
He didn't let go, but drowned in the smell of citrus that was most potent on her neck. Instead, she disentangled herself, and the suddenness of her warmth left him feeling barren.
Then he saw Sam and Dean on the bed… dead.
"How did this happen?" he asked immediately.
"I don't know!" Ember said, sobbing.
Castiel thought quickly. "Give me your phone."
"My – what?" Ember asked, surprised through her tears.
"Your phone."
Ember produced her phone, and Castiel put his hands around it, feeding all of his power into it.
"What are you doing?" Ember asked.
"Calling Heaven," Castiel said. Then he added, "At least, I hope."
Suddenly, static started to come out of the phone. "Dean!" they both yelled.
"Cas? Ember?"
"Yeah, it's me," Castiel said.
"Why are you on my car radio? This dream is getting weird."
"Listen to me very closely," said Castiel. "This isn't a dream."
"Then what is it?"
Ember opened her mouth, but Castiel shushed her. They didn't have much time. Eventually, despite the shoddy connection, he managed to communicate the information he needed. "You can't say yes to Michael and Lucifer if you're dead, so Zachariah needs to return you to your bodies."
"Great!" said Sam. "Problem solved."
"You don't understand," Castiel said. "You're behind the Wall. This is a rare opportunity."
"For what?" asked Dean and Ember.
"You need to find an angel. His name is Joshua."
"Hey, man, no offense but we are kind of ass full of angels, okay?" Dean said. "You find him."
"I can't," Castiel said. "I can't return to Heaven."
"So what's so important about Joshua?" asked Sam.
"The rumor is, he talks to God," said Castiel.
~ANGELS WILL FALL~
The wait for Dean and Sam to return was stifling. It was only about four hours, but it felt much longer. Ember turned on the television and flipped through the channels, but neither of them were really watching. She offered him something to drink or eat on 8 different occasions.
It was somewhat awkward, Castiel thought. Typically the two of them got along well, but it was a rare occasion when they were together without Sam or Dean. It was made more awkward by the fact that both of them were waiting with baited breath on the return of the brothers. Ember's eyes flitted frequently to Dean and Sam, who were still lying dead on the beds behind them.
Finally, both brothers awoke suddenly, gasping for breath. Ember hurled herself into Dean's arms, and Castiel felt an unexpected pang of jealousy, remembering his hug with her earlier.
Finally, when Dean disentangled himself from Ember, he said, "So God's a no-go."
"What do you mean?" Castiel asked. He felt the hope burning within him suddenly die, as though a candle had been blown out.
"Joshua says God's on Earth," said Sam. "But he doesn't know where, or what he's doing."
"Apparently God has a 'message' for us," said Dean, holding up quotes in the air with his fingers.
Castiel looked at Dean eagerly.
"Apparently God says to 'back off,'" said Dean, holding up the finger quotes again. "Your friend Josh said that God already knows everything we want him to know, and he knows about the Apocalypse… he just doesn't care."
"Can you show me?" Castiel asked, holding out his hand.
"Dude! No!" said Dean, backing up.
But Sam said, "I will," and stepped forward.
Sam's mind had none of the pleasant feeling that Ember's always contained. Castiel sifted quickly through the worries, the doubts, and the fears, bypassing them to give his friend privacy as much as possible, until he got to the related memory.
Dean had not been lying. "God saved you already," Joshua had said. "He put you on that plane. He brought back Castiel. He granted you salvation in Heaven… and after everything you've done, too." Here, Castiel felt Sam's mind flood with guilt.
"It's more than he's intervened in a long time," Joshua had continued. "He's finished. Magic amulet or not, you won't be able to find him."
"Maybe… maybe Joshua was lying," Castiel said a few minutes later, after he had had some time to think.
"I don't think he was, Cas," said Sam. "I'm sorry." He sighed, methodically packing his clothes into a suitcase.
"At least… at least you know he brought you back for a reason," Ember said, reaching out her arm to him. "You were right, all along, to rebel, and… and everything." She managed a half smile.
Even Ember's hand on his didn't cheer Castiel, however. "You son of a bitch," he said, looking up into the air. "I believed in…"
He shook his head, removing Dean's amulet from his pocket. "I don't need this anymore," he said, tossing it back to Dean. "It's worthless."
And then he disappeared.
