Alrighty, I'm going to stop stringing you alone like Bo does to Lauren and post the last few chapters as promised. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and putting up with my navel gazing writing style ;)

Chapter Eleven

The phone sat on the floor by the bed, buzzing endlessly as it lay unanswered. Every now and then she picked it up and began composing a text message. She'd invariably put it back down again when words failed her or she started finding herself scrolling through her phone book towards Lauren's name. She was procrastinating for as long as she could, and had spent a sleepless night mentally rehearsing what she was going to say to him and hadn't come up with much. All she knew was that it had gotten past the point where she could lie anymore.

At last she dragged herself up out of bed and showered, listlessly getting dressed, feeling like she was going to a funeral. This was one thing she did not feel impulsive or bold about; she just felt like shit.

When she got to Dyson's place he let her in without a word, his expression blankly unhappy. His beard was untrimmed and he looked as tired as she felt. They sat on the bed, side-by-side. Dyson didn't seem to want to look at her - it was easier this way. Bo gazed at the floor, thinking about how similar and not-similar it was to the position she'd been in with Lauren the night before. He even had his fingers laced together in the same nervous way.

"What were you doing that was so important that you couldn't take my calls?"

"Nothing. I just needed some time to think."

"Think about what?"

All of her preparation had come to nothing, because she had no idea what to say. He'd done nothing wrong; there was nothing to accuse him of. It was going to be hard to sit there and admit that she had screwed everything up and that she was the one at fault.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" Dyson sighed. Bo paused, still trying to come to a decision about exactly how much she wanted him to know, when he interrupted her train of thought. "You know everyone's talking about this offer the Ash made you. Maybe you can start with telling me why you're so concerned with having Lauren freed?"

"She's a person, not a thing. The Ash shouldn't be able to own anybody's life. It's medieval," Bo replied. She started chewing on her thumb - she was at a significant disadvantage and hadn't expected him to confront her about that. Word had really gotten around fast.

"It's the way it's done. She entered into an agreement, and besides, you don't understand that it's not all bad. She's protected, nobody would dare harm her," Dyson explained with a veneer of patience that Bo guessed would break any minute.

"I don't care how it's always been done. What if it were Kenzi?" she snapped, her anger taking over. She had meant to be contrite with him no matter what, but the stress and lack of sleep hadn't helped at all. He'd always known how to push her buttons when it came to Lauren and now was no exception.

Dyson sighed again. "But it's not Kenzi. You know you can't trust her. And you should have stayed out of it."

"Don't tell me what to do," Bo said, crossing her arms defensively.

"You're like a child," Dyson replied. "Are you actually going to go through with this? Because I think you owe me an explanation. How many times have I tried to talk to you about joining us?"

"No, I'm going to go through with it, she asked me not to actually."

"Oh really, and when was this? Is that why you were too busy to take my calls?"

Bo drew in a deep breath and held it for a moment, resisting the urge towards flight. They both knew what they were really fighting about, and all of this dancing around was exhausting.

"I haven't been faithful to you," Bo said. The sentence sounded cold and shocking as it left her mouth, just like she'd feared.

He turned and they finally looked at one another, his eyes full of surprise. She understood that although he'd feared it, he'd never really believed that it would happen. It made her sick to talk about it and to disappoint him. He deserved someone who wanted him as much as he wanted them and who wouldn't stray. The initial conviction that she was that person, held so strongly by her for a while, had turned out to be a lie. What she had never anticipated was that in the end it had nothing to do with her nature and everything to do with Lauren.

"I'm sorry Dyson. I really am."

He grunted at her incredulously, her apology offensive. "Have you been sleeping with her this whole time?"

"No, not since that time from before that you knew about. But . . . I've wanted to. I'm sorry," she said again in a rush.

"Okay." He was quiet for a long time. "We can move past this. I think I can, if I try. You just have to promise me that you'll stop seeing her, at all."

"I can't do that. I'm sorry," she said.

He flinched at her words. "I wish you'd stop saying that you're sorry."

"Dyson, it's over." She had never envisioned saying those words up until the last twenty-four hours, and after they were out of her mouth she felt a surge of panic. "I'll always want you in my life and love you in a way. We're on the same team. But I feel like we don't work together."

The tears that had been threatening to fall finally spilled over, and she started to cry. Nobody had ever told her how much it hurt to be the one doing the heart-breaking.

They had it out, fighting until they were exhausted. Dyson said some nasty cutting things about their relationship, and so did she. A weird kind of peace came over them both once they were done, and when there was nothing left to say Bo left for home feeling a reaching emptiness.

It didn't take long to tell Kenzi the whole story, mainly because there wasn't much that Kenzi hadn't guessed at. If Kenzi thought that she was an idiot then she was wise enough to not say so, and she held Bo while she cried.

"So this is what a break up feels like huh? I never really had one before," Bo mused. "You know I didn't even know I was going to do it really? It just came out. But I know it's right."

"At least you left him alive." Kenzi quipped and Bo smiled sadly. "Sorry, too far?"

"No. I could do with reminding that this isn't the end of the world. Sometimes stuff doesn't work out, and that's okay." Bo said. She was already glimpsing a time when this was all going to be behind her. At least there was no doubt in her mind that she'd done the right thing. There was a great deal of relief to be had in finally telling the truth to herself about how she felt.

"True that. And I can guide you through this whole process. I haven't had that many break-ups myself but I have watched a lot of movies, and I'm pretty sure we're supposed to eat a lot of ice cream and bitch about men."

"Thanks, but I'd really rather have a beer," Bo giggled through her tears.

"Honey, you can have ten beers if you want," Kenzi said. She began searching the fridge. "All we have is this half-finished red wine though."

"That'll do." Bo sank back down onto the couch, slumping against the back of it and gratefully accepting the glass Kenzi brought over.

"So what happens now. Are you going to go and tell Lauren you looooove her?" Kenzi said in a sing-song voice.

Bo laughed and then abruptly stopped, Kenzi's words making her nervous. "I don't love her, I just care about her a lot."

Kenzi looked at her suspiciously. "Right. Why do you always downplay everything when it comes to her?"

Bo lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "I don't know. I didn't break up with Dyson just because of her. I don't think I would have ever cheated if I were truly happy with him, know what I mean?"

"Yeah of course, but it had a lot to do with it though, didn't it? So why doth the lady protest so much all of the time?" Kenzi was looking at her with those big eyes, and Bo grabbed one of the pillows and hugged it to herself. If the next words out of Kenzi's mouth were about how Lauren couldn't be trusted she didn't know how she was going to handle it. Her gut had been telling her for a while now that she could put her faith in Lauren again, but what if she were wrong?

"You're not exactly her biggest fan," Bo said, trying to keep it simple.

"Yeah well if she does anything to you again I'm going to break her legs, but I'd really rather you just go ask her out. If you spend any more time hanging around here mooning after her like she's lesbian Edward Cullen it'll only make me want to vomit," Kenzi said.

"I'll think about it," Bo replied. Butterflies has started fluttering around in her stomach at the idea. It was clear that Lauren was still attracted to her, but she didn't know how much more there was to it than that. Lauren had made it clear that she wasn't impressed with the way she'd been acting. The idea of trying to find out if Lauren could forgive excited her. She wanted to embark on that whole series of 'firsts' with Lauren – just doing normal things – only they would feel anything but mundane if they were doing them together.

She didn't want to be tacky about it, to go rushing over there right after she'd broken up with Dyson, even though that was exactly what her impulses were pushing towards. It wouldn't be fair to Lauren. She was going to have to force herself to wait a little.

X X X

Lauren winced at the strong taste of the tequila, and then again as she bit into the bitter lemon that followed

"Good girl, take your medicine," Ava said teased as she put down her own shot glass and immediately started preparing for the next one. With delicate movements she rubbed salt along the space between her index finger and thumb after licking it. She offered Lauren the salt shaker and Lauren shook her head.

"I need to rest for a minute, I have to work tomorrow," Lauren laughed when Ava shot her a nasty look.

"So do I. In fact I have to work in about . . . six hours," she pointed out, squinting at her watch. "But I'm a good friend. So tell me, what did she do now?"

"We kissed. Again," Lauren said glumly, then explained what had led to her going to Bo's in the first place. "I feel like I'm going nuts Ava. I can't stop thinking about it, every minute of the day, and it's not getting any better. I told her I don't want to see her any more, but I don't know if I can even stick to it. I don't know if I want to."

"It'll work out," Ava announced breezily, then nodded to herself.

Lauren waited patiently for Ava to continue talking. Was that it? In all her knowledge of love and years of experience, that was all she could offer? She supposed she might be beginning to bore Ava with all her stories of Bo – she couldn't exactly blame her when she was getting quite bored with herself.

"I know. I'm acting like a fool. I don't know when I turned into the kind of person who chases after a woman in a relationship. I've never done anything like this before," Lauren said self-consciously. "We can talk about something else if you like."

"Look, it's going to work out. She loves you intensely, I'm more sure of that than ever. She's not going to be able to resist it forever, she's about to frickin' explode," Ava said, her eyes widening as she described it.

"Why do you keep changing your advice? You told me to try to quit the whole thing, go cold turkey?" Lauren said, exasperated.

Ava raised her eyebrows at Lauren. "Oh please, advice? Nobody ever takes love advice, most of what I say is just an attempt to make you feel better. I told you to quit it because you're so miserable, but I doubt that you can. She loves you. You love her. There's nothing keeping you apart, not really."

Lauren shook her head at Ava's oversimplifications. She threw back her head and downed another shot, wondering when people were going to stop trying to fill her with false hope.