Trifecta

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly

A/N:


Chapter 11 (Some Change is Good)

"What are you doing!" Sam wiggled away from Gibby and shoved his hands away from her. He tucked his hands into his pocket and cleared his throat as her eyes narrowed onto him. "I said no massage. Don't touch me." Relieved, Freddie rushed outside and dialed Sam's number, figuring out the best way to get her away from Gibby. When she answered, her tone gave way to a great deal of stress and annoyance. "Freddie, I've been trying to reach you."

"Sorry, my phone was on vibrate. What's up?" Freddie peered in the window and saw Gibby sit down across from Sam at the table. Sam turned sideways and hung her elbow over the top of the booth while Gibby glared at her and bumped his thumbs together on the table. "I was on my way to the Groovy Smoothie, actually."

"Oh?" Sam perked up and started to smile. "Well it's been a while since we talked and I was worried. I had a little time and some money to spare, so I flew up to see you. When your mom said you weren't home, she suggested the smoothie shop. I'm there now." He watched Gibby's hand move up over his eyes.

"Sweet. I didn't know you were flying up. Tell you what, I just pulled into the parking lot."

"What? You're here?" She looked around and towards the window, but he wasn't in the area of visibility. Gibby's eyes narrowed and his fingers slowly moved into his palm. "I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable here by myself. Or well, Gibby's here too actually-he was here when I got here. Nobody else but T-Bo, so maybe if you'd come inside-"

"Why don't you come out here and I'll take you to get some actual food?"

"I don't know." Sam glanced at Gibby and slowly stood up. Her forehead tightened in the middle but her eyes lit up. "Yeah, that'd be okay actually. I'll be right there." When she hung up, Freddie glanced in the window to see what all was going on.

Gibby was motioning to her drink and she was shaking her head. Her hand swept across her neck and she walked with incredible swiftness towards the door. Freddie's glare sharpened on Gibby and his lips pressed against each other, forming small lines of pressure around them.

He stepped back and turned around just as Sam exited. She looked over and let her hands fall to her sides. "Freddie?" He flashed a smile and she moved over to him, hugging him tight and catching him by surprise. "I was worried. It's not usual for you to just leave me alone for a whole week, you start calling me or something by then. Wasn't sure if you were mad or something?"

"Why would I be mad?" He hugged her back, then pulled away while gazing into her light blue eyes. Those eyes drifted down momentarily and her shoulders rose.

"I figured after our last conversation…Then there's the whole thing with Ms. Benson. I kind of thought you needed someone to be here for you, especially since you say Gibby's been a bit of a creep lately." Her eyes darted to the window and she quickly shook her head. "Which I am not going to argue."

"Yeah." There was a pull that drew him into her. He wanted to hold her longer, to not let go. With a sigh he turned and motioned to his car. "What do you say we get out of here? We can talk elsewhere. Anywhere you're in the mood for?"

"I'll take Subway even, I don't care. After that flight, I'm exhausted and starving."

"Subway it is."

At the subway, Sam had the Italian BMT while Freddie went ahead and ordered the Sweet Onion. They sat together in a booth and Freddie was watching her eat the sandwich with a hungry appetite.

When she saw him staring, she set the sandwich down and grabbed a napkin to wipe her mouth. "So um, Freddie. We really haven't talked about your mom. Are you handling it well."

"It's hard, but I'm doing the best that I can. Mom's dealing with it rather well it seems, or at least she appears to be. Says she just wants me to be happy. I never thought I'd be without both of my parents by the time I'm twenty, though."

Sam looked down and slowly reached over, curling her hand around his. He felt his heart jump and looked into her eyes with surprise. "You'll be okay, Freddie."

"I know." He squeezed her hand in response and curved his lips into a tiny smile. "I can't believe you came all the way out here because you were worried about me."

"I did say it was more than that. I wanted to check on you, to check on your mom. Besides, I kind of miss Seattle."

"Not much has changed, but not a lot's the same either." He grabbed his sandwich and lifted his eyes skywards. "You should see Spencer, the way he is now."

"Carly told me he seemed a bit thickheaded lately." Putting it mildly at least. One thing was certain, Freddie did not want to piss the man off. "I guess people do change in time."

Freddie took a bite of his sandwich and shrugged. "Change never hurts. So long as it's good change." He didn't care for it though, especially as lately this change was so often bad. He was seeing a side of Gibby he'd never seen, he was seeing a deadlier turn in Nevel, and now he was going to have to get used to the fact that his mother was going to be gone. "Some change isn't right, though."

"That's true, Gibby seems like he's changed. Or maybe he's exactly the same and I'm letting what you said get to me. Although-" She moved her hand to her throat and sank her lips back into her cheeks. "It felt like he was about to strangle me." She turned her head and lifted her eyebrows. "Tell me I'm just imagining that."

"I wish I could." There was a lot more he wanted to tell her, but he didn't want to worry her. Just as he didn't want to worry his mother by telling her what he'd been doing. "I'm happy to see you, Sam."

Her shoulders lowered and her lips turned up to a smile. "I am too." She moved her hand to the surface of the table, resting it gently beside her sandwich. "I wanted to talk to you, about something we should discuss in person and not over the phone."

"Okay?" As he watched her fingers curl inwards, he felt a sensation rising up in him that beckoned his silence. Whatever the discussion, it was important enough to Sam that she flew up to Seattle. "Nothing bad, I hope."

"No. At least, I don't think so." Her chest expanded as a wrinkle formed between her eyebrows. Sam pressed her lips together, then popped them open with a heavy breath. "The way I was years ago, it's not completely who I am anymore. Yes, I still have some aggressive tendencies, but not much, and I don't think that means I deserve to be alone. A cat lady."

"You wouldn't be. Any man would love to be with you, I'm sure."

"Well, it doesn't feel like that sometimes." She uncurled her fingers and grabbed her sandwich. Her brow furrowed as she glanced down. "I'm by no means datable material. Jonah showed me that, Zeke showed me that, Shane showed me that. Jake, Peter, you name it…and most of all-"

A lump swelled in his throat and Sam's eyes slid towards him. "Me?"

"Yeah. I'm not girlfriend material, I'm not someone that people want to be with. I'm a sloppy eater, I get angry when someone hogs the shower or the last piece of food on the table." Freddie's mouth stretched into a grin as Sam began muttering. Her face was beginning to turn red as she glared at the sandwich. "I'm a stress eater, to the point I'm shocked that I'm not fat. I'm better at not taking my anger out on other people, but I have my moments-I'm not as irritable now that I'm not living with my borderline mother, but I'm nowhere near as sweet as Melanie or Carly."

"You're also not a pushover."

"What?"

"You're not a pushover." He cleared his throat and met Sam's inquisitive stare. "You're spunky, smart-I mean think of all the girls Gibby dates. He doesn't like that he can't control you, but he's able to control all those girls." Sam released a soft chuckle and shook her head. "You're strong-willed, opinionated and not afraid to speak your mind. And for all your fire, all your steam and smoke, you still have the heart to do the right thing. You're a good girl, and you know it."

"Isn't that a song?"

"Maybe." He smirked at her and she turned her head down towards her sandwich. "You mentioned all those boys in your past, do you know why they didn't work out?"

"Because they wanted someone dainty?"

"Something like that." He scratched his forehead in thought. "They wanted a girl that wouldn't talk back, that would just fall on hands and knees for them. Someone 'easy' and quiet. Controllable. You're none of those things, and that's the one thing that makes you better than any woman out there."

A smile flashed, but it disappeared from her as quickly as it came. "Then what about you?" He saw her body tense as an inexplicable sadness entered her eyes. "Although Carly's not much of a pushover either, but she can be a people-pleaser."

"It's been so long since I felt anything for her." As he studied her, his heart grew heavy thinking about what he could say. What was the right thing to say in a moment like this? The truth. Carly was pretty, and to Freddie's adolescent mind she was picturesque. Though to say that, would he be implying that he'd always believed her to be prettier than Sam? Then, if he said Carly wasn't, he was essentially telling Sam that her best friend wasn't good looking.

"Beauty doesn't come from appearance, Sam."

Her lips separated and she leaned back in the booth, her eyebrows meshed together as confusion swept her face.

"Yes, you and Carly both were and are beautiful outside, there's an inner beauty as well. There are qualities that both of you have which make you who you are, which make you beautiful." Sam reached up and slowly pushed her hair over her shoulder. There was a new redness to her cheeks, but she made no attempt to cover it. "One can't compare you two, and they shouldn't, because you're not the same. The reason I liked Carly in the past is not the reason I care for you now. When I was younger, I was immature and I didn't see beyond surface beauty. You're both equally beautiful, but I ended up seeing her first I suppose…"

"I guess." Sam tucked her hair behind her ear and furrowed her brow. "Well that's not technically ri-"

"The point is, when we were younger I didn't see all these qualities about you. I only saw the frustrated, repressed, aggressive side of you that was desperate to get away from your family and took your anger out on everyone that you came across."

"True." Sam frowned and grabbed her spoon to start scooping up the bowl of soup beside her. Instead, she only twirled it, causing ripples in the soup. "I wasn't perfect. I wasn't Carly perfect. Seems like everybody wanted Carly perfect. I'm still not her, either."

"Don't ever try to be." Sam's eyes darted over and her inner eyebrows drifted up as her nose wrinkled around the bridge. "I think when you and I first got together, I saw that other side of you and all those qualities, but I don't think I was ready to really give you a chance-to accept you for everything that you are. I never wanted Carly-perfect, or now that I've matured I can say that isn't what I want."

"You destroyed me when we broke up. Teased me when you decided to kiss me after the fact and made no attempt to hide that you weren't over Carly."

"I know, and I know you wanted to leave long before Carly ever left." Sam closed her eyes and exhaled. "And nothing I can say will be able to express how sorry I am, or how wrong I was for doing that to you."

"You talked to Spencer."

"Yeah. I never meant to drive you away, I know Carly wouldn't have wanted that either."

"That's why I didn't tell either of you, you people would have only insisted that I stick around." She crossed her arms and leaned to the right, her eyes clenched and her forehead seemed to fold over itself. "The point is, what I want to talk about. I want to give you another chance, but I'm scared to. I know I'm not perfect, and I know I have issues. I've been hurt before, and I'm terrified of being hurt again. I can't just depend on the possibility that you might attend a college in California, and with the distance there is between us…how can I trust that you won't see something better? I don't want to get my hopes up thinking that something good is going to happen for a change, only to have those hopes crushed because I was foolish enough to trust someone that hurt me once already?"

She opened her eyes and looked to him. "People often say as it is, you can never truly trust somebody one hundred percent in a relationship. They also say sometimes you have to have faith, but I find faith to be incredibly difficult."

"I know, but sometimes you have to put faith in change. In chance. I'm not who I once was, I don't obsess and I'm not going to obsess. Should you and I ever get together, I want you to know that I would accept you for who you are."

"Everything. My faults, my good and bad sides…"

"Yes."

"If it came between me and Carly…If she showed up right now and said she wanted you?"

He chuckled once and shook his head. It was a good question, and he understood why she was asking it. In time, maybe she'd see that he wouldn't choose anyone over her, even Carly. "Well first, I wouldn't believe her-especially since she never liked me, and second I'd wonder why she flew all the way here from Italy without so much as a word to you or I."

Sam rolled her eyes and grabbed her sandwich. "This is serious, Freddie." His eyes softened and he relaxed his muscles while watching Sam take a bite of her food. He became enamored by how her beautiful hair brushed against her arms and shoulders when she moved, and how she gripped her food firmly but with care. She swallowed her bite and glanced at him from the corners of her eyes.

"I would tell her no. My heart and my mind have changed. Even if it wasn't Carly, if any girl walked in here, I would choose you. I'll give you time, and space if you want it, but give me a chance to show you that I've changed. I'm not the man I used to be…"


I'd say it's a good talk, and they've certainly reached a common understanding while hashing out how they felt.