AN: Thanks for the reviews, here is the next chapter, and I'm sure a moment you've all be waiting for. Enjoy!
Chapter 11: In it together?
Just like when Grissom had found out, Sara's brain was stuck on that one word, and it stayed there several minutes before she shook her head and spoke softly, still in disbelieve. "Pregnant?"
"Yes."
She cleared her throat before continuing. "And its yours, isn't it?" Before he could reply, she removed her hand out from under his and stood up before pacing while she was talking and shaking her head, or more like her brain and mouth was working in overdrive. "Of course its yours, or else you would have no reason to tell me." She then looked at him and asked. "So, what was it? One last time before you parted ways."
She closed her eyes as she shuddered while he looked at her with shock and a little hurt, but she still had her eyes closed so she could only hear the tone of his voice. "Of course not. Once I ended it, that was it, nothing more happened."
She opened her eyes and looked at him before asking, needing more answers from him. "Well, how far along is she then? Because from her interruption the other night, she didn't look that pregnant."
He cleared his throat before replying with confidence. "A month and a half."
She crossed her arms over her chest as she asked with a raised eyebrow. "You seem so sure."
"That's because I am."
"But how do you really know?"
He sighed. "Because I just do." He then spoke again as he got up from the couch. "What's the point in knowing when it happened? It did, now there's a baby involved, end of story."
She fallowed him to the kitchen as she replied with curiosity. "Because you looked a little embarrassed and guilty when you told me how long, so what do you have to be guilty about?" He stopped in front of his fridge and grabs the handle with a sigh, but doesn't open it, so Sara stopped next to him and placed her hand on his arm. "What is it? You can tell me."
"I know because..." He trailed off as he opened the refrigerator door to grab two water bottles, then he continued as he handed her one of the bottles. "It only happened once."
She raised an eyebrow with confusion on her face. "Once? I'm not following."
He stepped back from the fridge and walked to the counter before leaning back so his backside was against it as he spoke again while looking down at his water bottle. "Since you've been here, it's only happened once, and not much after you and I started communicating."
Sara was a little shocked on that revelation, that all she got out of her mouth was. "Why?"
Grissom knew what Sara was trying to ask, so he looked up at her and told her. "Now this going to sound completely crazy, but it's how I felt, so here it is." He cleared his throat before continuing. "Since meeting you, no matter how much I tried to push it away or deny it, every time her and I got close I had this unexpected feeling like I was doing something wrong, it almost felt like." He paused for a second before finishing. "Well, the only way I could describe it was, like I was cheating on you." When Sara stood there for several seconds, not talking with an unreadable look on her face, he shrugged his shoulders and looked back down at his water. "That's why I didn't want to say anything."
A few seconds later, a small smile appeared on her face as she walked closer to him, then after mirroring his pose while standing next to him, she spoke quietly.
"I felt the same way." He turned his head to look at her quickly as she paused before continuing. "I mean I only out on a few dates since I've met you, but every time I was with them I felt that same feeling."
He had to admit he was a little shocked at that revelation too, but before he could think about what else he felt about it, she lost her smile and cleared her throat, needing to fill in the last piece of the puzzle, which she just chalked it down to her being a CSI and needing all the answers. "What happened that night?"
He took a drink of his water before filling her in. "A difficult case for me, a child losing a pet on Annie's side, which meant alcohol was involved, and it lowered any guard that I had up." Sara nodded in understanding before he continued. "And after it happened and how terrible I felt inside about everything, I finally realized that I couldn't do this anymore, I couldn't keep denying what I felt anymore. No matter how much I wanted to continue to run from it for obvious seasons."
There was a short pause before she asked, realizing something. "That day you came to my apartment, you were going to tell me how you felt, weren't you?" He gave her a short nod as she continued. "But you backed out sometime during the visit."
He took her hand and spoke softly as he looked into her eyes, hoping she understood. "My heart lead me to your door that day, Sara, but my head needed one last say. I had to break things off with her first, and like I said before, I couldn't be selfish and ask you to wait for me, no matter how much I wanted to."
Sara removed her hand from his so she could cup his cheek while looking at him with so much emotion inside of her. "I would have waited forever for you." Then with her eyes glistening she continued softly. "I still would, because nothing has changed on what I feel for you or what I want."
Grissom's eyes get wide as he tried to speak. "Sara..."
But she cuts him off as she moved so she was standing front of him now. "I don't care about the circumstances, because one, despite how you felt, you didn't cheat on me, you were still in a relationship with her, so I can't fault you for that, and two, it wasn't your fault she didn't tell you when she first found out, so I don't care what this situation is, I'm not letting you go because of it."
Even though hope of not losing her was growing inside Grissom, he had to be sure this was what she wanted. "But Sara, this is my responsibility, and you shouldn't have to be dragged into something that I have to be involved in."
Not able to stop her tears from going down her cheek now, she ran her hand up and down his. "And if you think it would be easy for me to turn and walk away now, especially when I've come this close to being with you, then you really haven't been paying close to attention to me."
Grissom brings her closer to him and places his forehead on hers as they closed their eyes before he whispered. "I just don't want you to regret making this move."
She sniffled as she wiped her tears off her cheek before also whispering. "The only regret I'll have is walking away from you, and I can't do that. I just can't, so don't ask me to."
He then sighed in content before letting out those three little words that had a big meaning, which if he was truly honest with himself, he's been wanting to say them to her for awhile now. "I love you."
Sara pulled back so they could look into each other's eyes before she cupped his cheek again and replied with love in her eyes. "I love you too, Griss."
Their eyes remained locked on one another for a long moment before they shifted to each other's lips for a long second, then back up again, both showing how terrified they were on making this last step because even though their feelings for one another were real deep, and them saying 'I love you' meant a great deal to them, they always heard they would know everything they needed in that first kiss, which they thought they knew what was going on after their first kiss in their other relationships, but this one was different since the way they felt for one another, before they even shared their first kiss, was nothing they ever felt before, and if it wasn't as amazing or a life shifting moment as they built up in their heads, then they would feel a little disappointed.
But they knew they couldn't move forward without it, they had to know what it felt like, so after taking a breath while his heart was racing, Grissom stepped closer to her before running his thumb softly over her lips, making every nerve in her body feel as if it was on fire while her heart raced even more than it already was, then he leaned toward her while closing his eyes, but stopping just a breathe away so it would give her a chance to make the final move.
And a second later she did just that, not able to stand the wait any longer, and the moment their lips touched they poured everything they had felt about one another in it.
Her hand moved from his cheek to meet her other one at the back of his head so she could run her fingers through his short hair, while the other hand that wasn't still on her cheek, started at her waist, even turning them around so her backside was against the kitchen counter when he felt her knees almost buckle from the intensity of the kiss, before it gently moved up her body until it was in her hair so he could run his fingers through it as their kiss became more passionate.
After countless minutes they finally needed air, so they pulled back grasping for it as they placed their foreheads against one another again, and as they were panting, they were smiling until Grissom could finally speak coherently. "That's what it feels like."
She moved her fingers from his hair so she could wrap her arms around his neck while the smile was still on her face. "Yeah, it felt right and perfect, everything I could have imagined it being. In fact, it was better than I had imagined."
He pulled his forehead off hers a few seconds later before looking into her beautiful brown eyes. "And most importantly it made me feel alive, more alive than I've felt in a long time, possibly ever, and I'm not saying that my relationship..."
Sara cuts him with a small smile now. "I know you loved her, but we both know it's different with us, and we can't change that or pretend that what we feel towards one another is anything like we ever felt before, it is what it is."
He smiled back as he placed his hands on her waist again. "And something I don't want to change or ignore anymore."
Sara smiled wider as she brought him closer to her. "I second that." Before their lips touched again, not lacking the passion they had felt the first time.
When they parted for a third time, and while catching their breaths, they placed their foreheads against one another before she whispered. "I so could get use to this."
He whispered back. "Me too."
A few moments later, they removed their foreheads from one another and he stepped back a little to give her a little space, then she took his hand and smiled. "Now, I want to do something else with you that I've always wanted to do." Grissom raised an eyebrow at that, making her laugh while shaking her head. "Not that." She grabbed her water from the counter before continuing. "I hope you know I'm not that easy."
She was going to walk them toward the living room, but didn't even get to move because his feet weren't moving, so she looked back at him and he was looking a little shocked for a moment before he shook his head with a slight frown. "Sara, I would never thi..."
Sara smiled as she stepped up to him. "Relax, I have a feeling you aren't like that, you would let things progress until we are both comfortable and sure about moving to the next level."
His heart fluttered at her words as he grabbed his water with his free hand, then they started to walk toward the couch as he replied. "You're right, I would want us to be completely comfortable before we moved to that stage of our relationship." They stopped in front of the couch before he released her hand so he could cup her cheek. "I want to take you out on dates first to show you how much you mean to me."
Sara smiled while trying to the fight off the tears that were threatening to come again, which kind of irritated her, because she doesn't ever remember a man causing so much emotion to come through her as much as he was or ever did, then she cleared her throat and nodded. "I'm looking forward to it."
He smiled and gave her peck on the cheek before replying. "Me too."
Once they sat down on the couch, Grissom on the right end and Sara in the middle, he looked over at her with another raised eyebrow. "If sitting on the couch is something you always wanted to do with me, then we've already done that." Then he couldn't help but smirk. "More than once, even."
She chuckled a little and smiled as she scooted closer to him. "Not like the way I want, not like this."
When she was as close to him as she could without being in his lap, she took his arm and moved it so it was around her shoulders before leaning her body toward his so she could cuddle into his side.
He smiled and kissed her head, a move he was also going to enjoy immensely, before speaking. "I like this." He moved his other arm so it was around her like he was now protecting her as he finished. "It feels like it's just us in our own little world and nothing can come between us."
Sara sighed in content as she placed her hand on his chest before speaking, bringing them back to reality by the end of her sentence. "I feel it too, but we both know that it won't be just us soon. There will be somebody coming between us."
He squeezed her lightly as he spoke softly against her head "But never changing how I feel about you, or about us."
She leaned back once he lifted his head so they could look into each other's eyes. "I know that, but it's something we have to deal with."
Grissom nodded. "It is, because I can't abandon that child, I don't want him or her living without knowing who their father is, I just can't do that."
The feelings of him living without his father starting at the age of 9 came washing through him, and he tried to stop the emotions from coming out, but after Sara cupped his cheek once she saw the turmoil in his eyes, he let out a sniffle as she asked quietly. "You lost your father at a young age, didn't you?"
She didn't know much about his childhood at the moment but the way it sounded to her, he was young when his father died, but she also remembered him mentioning his father when they first met, and the way he was talking about him sounded like he was at least old enough to talk to the point of understanding each other's conversations.
Grissom nodded after clearing his throat. "I did, but that's for another time."
Sara nodded in agreement. "It is."
After a few moments of him regaining he emotions, he ran his hand up and down her arm as he asked. "Talk to me, I want to know how you feel about this."
Sara took a breath before speaking. "For one and for the record, I would never ask you to turn your back on your child or make you choose between us, no matter what." Grissom was really happy that he got to hear her confirm what he hoped was the truth, and after kissing her forehead, she spoke again. "And two, it's a very unique situation, because like I said earlier, you two were in a relationship, so it's not like I have a right to get mad about it, nor would I even want to waste my time being mad about something that's going to happen regardless on how I feel."
She moved her thumb up and down his cheek as she continued. "Are things a little more complicated? And am I a little sad that they aren't exactly how I pictured them to be when we got to this moment? Sure. But none of this changes the fact that I love you, or that I still want to be with you."
He placed his hand on top of hers that was on his cheek as she finished with tears in her eyes. "I can work on getting use to this, and I know that child is going to be an important person in your life, I don't doubt that nor would I want to you feel otherwise, I just have to know where I fit/stand in your life."
Grissom surprised her when she saw a couple of tears go down his cheek as he grabbed her free hand and kissed the palm of it before putting it over his heart and spoke with so much emotion, more emotion than she has ever heard from him. "Right here, Sara, you're my heart, and I'll show you everyday if I have to, how much you mean to me, how much this." He moves his thumb back and forth between them as he finished. "Us, means to me."
Sara sniffled because seeing him so emotional made her react to that as she wiped his tears away with a nod before replying with a smile. "Well, you don't have to do grand gestures everyday, it's the little things that will matter the most to me."
Grissom nodded in understanding with a smile. "I understand, I'll try my best."
"And that's all I'm asking for."
After another nod, he leaned toward her while she leans toward him and after a few pecks on the lips, they pulled back and placed their foreheads together again as he closed his eyes and whispered. "I love you."
With her eyes closed, she responded back. "I love you too."
There were a few more things she would have liked to know, like how he found out and if anybody else knew. But in this moment, she just wanted to stop time and embrace them finally being together.
No, it wasn't the perfect scenario that either one imagined them in when they finally started their relationship. But they were determined to not to let this unexpected turn of events stand in the way of them continuing to build something that was already very special to them.
AN: Find out what happens next. Please review.
