Chapter Eleven
"Gawrsh," Goofy said, running up to the large-eared rodent who now stood over the sparkles of what had once been a somewhat creepy Riku clone.
"Your Majesty!" Donald cried running up to the King's other side.
As it was, the poor mouse ended up sandwiched between the two, who also managed to bump heads when they tried to give their king a big hug. King Mickey emerged from the violent hug bruised but otherwise unharmed.
"Hiya, fellas," He said. His Keyblade vanished in a cloud of sparkles and he waved.
"Hi!" Sora chimed.
"Sora!" Donald scolded, throwing a rock at Sora's head. "Show some respect! This is the King you're talking too!"
"Yeah, because tackling him is so much more respectful." Sora moped and rubbed his forehead. Donald growled and prepared another rock to chuck at the dimwitted Keyblade master, but the King spoke again.
"What are you guys doin' here?"
"We should be asking you the same thing, sir!" Sora cried, waving his hands around wildly. "I thought you and Riku were stuck in Kingdom Hearts!"
The royal mouse frowned and scratched at a large ear. "Yeah, we were. But then..."
"Then...?" The trio leaned forward, eager to hear the King's story.
"Then we got out."
The tio collapsed in disappointment.
"Details, sir! Details!" Goofy exclaimed.
The King laughed. "Well, gosh, let's see here..." He crossed his arms. "We were in the darkness... I was playing Solitaire, and Riku was on his laptop typing somethin' or another."
"He was IMing me!" Sora cried, giggling in excitement.
"I suppose he musta been, 'cause he stopped to ask me for a good 'your momma' joke." The King continued. "Now, I don't mean to brag, fellas, but I am the master of 'your momma' jokes. Why, I remember back in Radiant Gardens that wise guy and I used to-"
"Your Majesty!" Donald interrupted. "Focus!"
"Right, right. So, anyways, I came over to share my wisdom with Riku, when suddenly something walked by outside the window."
"There's a window in Kingdom Hearts?" Sora asked, confused.
"There's also a bathroom, a swimming pool, a refrigerator, a deck of cards, and a computer." The King held up his cards as proof. Each had a small heart on the back. "Anyway, we hurried over to the window, and saw the strangest thing!"
"What was it? What was it??" Donald screamed, shivering with excitement.
"It was..." King Mickey paused for dramatic effect. "An exact replica of Riku!"
"Ooooh!" The trio gasped in awe.
"Yes! And then more of 'em followed. There was a whole flock of Rikus, just outside our window!" The King shook his head sadly. "Then, they walked around the window and attacked. We managed to hold them off for a little while, but there were too many of them! There was only one thing that we could do!"
Everyone waited in tense silence.
"That's right! Riku pretended that he was one of the clones!"
"That's my Riku!" Sora cheered. "He's so smart!"
The King nodded. "It was a great idea, and the clones got so confused that they figured they musta killed the real Riku."
"Wow!" Our heroes exchanged looks of amazement before turning back to the King. "What happened then?"
"Then, the Rikus left. Well, I figured we should follow 'em, because we were trying to get outta there anyway. So, me an' Riku followed the clones, and we ended up back in Halloween Town."
"Wow," Sora wiped beads of sweat off his forehead. "What a story."
"Wait!" The King held up a hand. "I'm not finished yet!"
Sora stopped in mid sigh to listen to the mouse.
"Y'see, soon the Rikus all started actin' strange. They seemed, well..." he frowned.
"What?" Donald shouted. "What, your Majesty? What??"
"They seemed... horny, I guess." Kind Mickey shrugged.
"Gawrsh," said Goofy.
"And, before we knew it, they'd spotted the real Riku, do to his lack of an erection. They strapped the poor kid to a rocket and blasted him clear to another world! But, at the last second, I grabbed onto Riku's pants, and got shot off with him! And that, my friends, is how we got here."
"Gawrsh," Said Sora. Goofy frowned, confused.
"That's quite a story!" Donald exclaimed, waving his hands and filling the air with feathers. The King nodded, and took a deep draft from his Lion King water bottle.
"So, wait," Sora tapped his chin thoughtfully. "If you came here with Riku, then where-"
"Miiickeeeeeey!!" came a wailing cry from down the hall. The animals and Sora had barely a second to glance in that direction and see who it was before a familiar silver-haired someone tackled the King to the floor.
"Mickey Mouse, you big meanie!" Riku whined, pulling the mouse into a hug. "Don't leave me alone like that! You scared me, you adorable little thing, you!"
"Er..." King Mickey twisted uncomfortably in the boy's embrace.
"Riku!" Sora cried, jumping around in excitement. "Riku, is that really you??"
"Oh, hi, Sora." Riku said, standing up with the King still in his arms. "When did you get here?"
"Riku! I looked everywhere for you!" Sora wailed. "Guess what, Riku, we already killed-"
"Sora!" Donald squawked, grabbing the teen and yanking him down by the elbow. He lowered his voice. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?"
Sora blinked. "Eh, OK. Be right back, Riku." He waved to his friend, who was too busy snuggling up with the King to notice.
"Wassup?" He asked, once he and the duck were a ways away from the trio.
Donald crossed his arms. "Sora, don't you notice something... queer about this Riku?"
"Queer?" Sora frowned. "Like, what?"
"Like, he's acting just like the Riku clones!" Donald shouted, stomping his webbed foot against the castle floor. Sora turned to look at Riku. The boy was hugging the King defensively while shouting something to Goofy, who looked confused.
"I guess he is acting a little strange... but the King said that that was the real Riku!"
Donald shrugged. "He could have made a mistake, I guess. Even Kings make mistakes, Sora."
Sora shook his head. "That's hard to believe."
"Look," Donald said with a growl. "Let's just go ask the Riku a few simple questions, and then we'll determine whether he's real or not."
"Fair enough," Sora said with a nod. The pair walked back to their friends.
"You're just jealous of our relationship," Riku snapped at Goofy, hugging Mickey against his chest angrily.
"Eh... Gawrsh..." Goofy scratched his head thoughtfully.
"King Mickey?" Donald asked, standing up straight and saluting.
"Mm-hm?" the King said, his voice muffled a bit by Riku's clothing.
"Are you quite certain that this is the real Riku?"
The King leaned back a bit to get a better look at Riku. Riku smiled back. "Pretty sure."
Donald frowned and crossed his arms. At last, he turned to Sora. "Sora, ask Riku a question that only the real Riku could answer. Like, what games you used to play on the island, or what your favorite flavor of ice cream is, or something like that."
Sora grinned. "I know the perfect question, my vertically challenged friend!" Turning away from the fuming duck, Sora faced Riku with a determined look on his face. He glared, took a deep breath, and...
"Are you the real Riku?"
Riku blinked. He twitched. He squirmed. He tapped his foot and wiggled his ears. He looked at Mickey, who looked right back, and he looked at the ceiling, which didn't do much of anything. He took a deep breath, coughed, gagged, squeaked, and finally uttered one word.
"No."
Then, before Sora and his friend had a chance to do anything, Riku had dropped the King with a promise to come back for him and ran for it. Goofy and Donald could only stare dumbly at Sora, who stared dumbly back, for several seconds.
"Gawrsh." Goofy muttered.
"Um, uh..." Donald shook his head and pulled out his staff. "Get him!"
--
The long-haired blonde, who hasn't been in nearly as many chapters as he should be, gave a loud sigh as he looked over his notes. Try as he might, he could not figure out how the Riku Cloning Machine worked.
"I should've stolen the directions, too," He growled, crumpling several pages of notes in his fist and throwing them over his shoulder.
"Stolen? I thought you made the Cloning Machine," said a younger, spiky-haired blonde, who's head popped out of a crate behind the older man.
Long-hair glared for a moment, then turned around to call up the stairs. "Hey, Axel! AXEL! I found-!"
"OK, OK!" The boy dropped back into his hiding place. "You made it. I get it. Just don't tell Axel where I'm hiding!"
The older man smirked and turned back to his work, feeling oddly refreshed. He was going to make this thing work, and get himself an army of clones, before the night was through.
Of course, it was pretty much always night in the mysterious world in which he was studying, that never was. So it was sort of an empty promise.
But we learn to look around that.
