After hanging up the phone, I had just under an hour until he would arrive. It left me little time to make myself sufficiently presentable after spending the whole day neglecting cleanliness lounging on the sofa. I quickly showered, washing my hair with my favorite strawberry shampoo and towel dried it. As I didn't have time to either straighten or curl it, I scraped it back into a bun in the middle of my head. After much deliberation. I slipped into my new aquamarine dress, but decided I would remain barefooted so I looked like I had made an effort, but hadn't gone overboard. I scoured my holdall and, by some sort of miracle, managed to find an old tube of mascara, a concealer stick for my prominent dark circles and some tinted lip balm.

My preparations took just under 40 minutes, leaving me plenty of time to panic. I actually began pacing, trying not to dwell on what I was about to do.

A booming knock pulled me out of my reverie only a few minutes after I began my laps of the room and my heart sped up to an unhealthy rate. I sprinted so fast towards the door that, unsurprisingly, I caught my foot under the edge of the welcome matt and stumbled forward, hitting my chin on the door handle. Just typical, why did I have to do that right now? I'm going to have a bruise on my face! Great!

Repeatedly rubbing my chin with my left hand as if to wipe away the red mark my incident had surely left, I straightened my dress with the right and planted a smile on my face before creaking the door open.

My heart pounded fiercely as I laid my eyes upon him for the first time in what seemed like an age. I was overcome with a sudden urge to leap on him, to let his strong, muscular arms wrap themselves around my lower back, clamping me to him. I wanted to trace my fingers across his thick, full, pink lips - so familiar but unknown.

His eyes were wide as they landed on my chin. "Jeez Bella, what happened to you?".

Instinctively, I rubbed it again, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I had a fight with the door, didn't do so well".

Once he was satisfied I hadn't sustained a life threatening injury, his cocoa eyes hardened and he stared at me with such a burning intensity my whole body glowed as bright as my cheeks. His hands were plowed deep into the pockets of the cut off khaki pants he was wearing, causing his shoulders to hunch forwards and round slightly. Thankfully, for once, he wasn't topless as my restraint would have been sorely tested if had have been. Instead, his ochre skin and well defined muscles were shown to perfection in a black tank top. As per usual, he was barefooted.

"Jake" I breathed, caressing every letter as it rolled off my tongue, ignoring the throbbing sensation in my chin whenever I moved my jaw. The strange apathy that had taken over me for the whole day dispersed. I felt safe and at peace in his magnificent presence.

His response was a simple nod before he strode forwards and past me. His right arm briefly brushed mine before he quickly pulled it away as if an electric shock had passed between us. I bit my lip hard and blinked furiously.

He's mad at me, I've hurt him too much. It's too late.

He sat in the middle of the sofa, taking up the majority of its width, leaving me no choice but to perch in one of the armchairs. He's keeping a distance. If he wanted me by him he could have sat at the end. He obviously doesn't want to be near me. Why did he come?

I desperately racked my brains for something funny, witty or even just appropriate to say as his eyes scanned the room, the furnishings, the windows - resting everywhere but on me.

"How..how are you?" was all I could manage.

His eyes finally veered in my direction, but not on my face. He stared at my legs which were curled up on the couch, tucked underneath me. The dress's hem stopped just below my knees and I was grateful that I had had the sense to bring a razor with me from home.

"I'm ok. Tired. Had to do quite a lot of double shifts scouting for any remaining newborns. Think we must have got them all because we've not seen any, yet anyways". He drew in and exhaled a deep breath, as if steadying himself.

Is he just as nervous as I am? Maybe he does feel something, anything. His long explanation gave me a little confidence , enough to reply with more than three words.

"I wish you wouldn't run yourself ragged Jake. You know I...". His eyes shot up to my face, daring me to continue. My hands grabbed the arms of the chair as I finished my sentence "...worry about you".

His eyes never left mine as he snorted in disbelief. My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, and I continued to stare at him as he lowered his eyes to the deep blue carpet. "Whatever Bells, whatever helps you sleep at night in your fancy hotel".

Every word made an incision in my heart and my breathing became shallow. "Of course I worry Jake, your everything to me".

His head audibly snapped up and I thought for a second I saw his eyes glisten. "Everything to you? What a joke! If I was everything to you you wouldn't be shacked up in some little love nest waiting for your fiancee to arrive" he spat.

I sharply inhaled, every word hurt more than if he was repeatedly slapping me. How did he know that I was engaged? I had never told anyone, Charlie certainly had no idea so he couldn't have got it from Billy.

He stood, staring at me with anger radiating out of him, his hands were clenched tightly, lightening the skin on his knuckles. "Yeah I know all about it Bella, how he paid for this holiday for you. I bet you two had this planned all along. Go away together so you don't have to see stupid old Jacob anymore. I bet you were laughing behind my back, thinking up the best possible way to break my heart into even tinier pieces. Well I'm done Bella, just tell me it's him you want and I can get back to my miserable existence". He flopped back down on the sofa, grabbing at his hair and pulling his head almost onto his knees.

Involuntarily, a whimpering, sobbing, gasping noise came out of my throat and I struggled to breathe. I was hyperventilating, my world was flipped into some nonsensical place I had no understanding of and didn't want to be a part of.

"You, th-think I....chose Edward and brought you he...re to hum-mil-i-ate you?" I finally managed. I was standing now, my legs shaking violently, threatening to give way from beneath me.

He kept his head bent low but raised his eyes. We had matching tear tracks down our cheeks - his leaving a silvery trail, mine leaving black lines. "Didn't you?"

"No!" I howled, before collapsing at his feet. I kneeled and grabbed his hands, keeping them secured in his lap. I tried desperately to lace our fingers but he refused me entry, yet didn't drag them wholly away from me.

"Where have you got this nonsense from?". Confusion swept across his face but he refused to hold my hand, to give me the benefit of the doubt.

"The blonde dolly bird on reception. She must have mistaken me for your leech as she called me Edward. She said you had been expecting 'me' and how kind it was of 'me' to pay for your suite. How kind indeed!"

I dug my nails into his beautiful russet skin, knowing it wouldn't cause him pain but hoping he would recognise my need for him to believe what I was about to say.

"You have it all wrong Jake, she has it all wrong. Yes, I admit Edward paid for the room", he went to turn his head away from me put I reached up my hand and gently guided it back, forcing our eyes to meet, the feel of his warm skin sending waves of pleasure directly to my heart "but I had no idea he did it and I certainly never asked him to. I had a phone-call from this place just as I was leaving Charlie's, asking when they should expect me. I was so dumbfounded that I didn't cancel, which I know I should have. But its just a room Jake, thats all it is".

I stared at him again, my breath hitching. It seemed as if I was truly seeing him for the first time. Seeing him in a way I never had before, a way I should have a long time ago. "Edward did the whole vampire dazzling thing on the receptionist and ever since she's been bugging me about when he would get here too. Not once have I told her he would come, she's just hoping he will. And I'm sorry if you disagree, but I don't tell random strangers that I am currently torn between two amazing men and have come here on the premise of finally deciding who I want to spend the rest of my life with". I managed a little smile, his face was becoming calmer with every reassuring word I uttered. "Call me crazy".

A ghost of a smile curled at the corners of his lips. His eyes penetrated my soul, desperate to know if what I said was the truth. I relaxed my vice like grip on his hands and gave him a little space to process what I was telling him.

"I don't know what to believe anymore Bella. When you called me earlier, I felt hope- for this first time since I left your bedroom after the battle. But now, I don't know. I just have this feeling that I you only asked me here to break things to me gently. So, please Bella, do it quickly and let me go".

His eyes shone with the pain his words had caused me.

You did this to him Bella, how can he ever believe what you tell him?

"That's not why I asked you here Jake". I stood and made to sit on the sofa. Jake jumped to the far end, leaving me space to sit and a chasm between us.

"I do have something to tell you Jake, but you've got it all wrong. I wanted you to know that I've finally made my decision and, I....". My hands were shaking violently in my lap and a persistent ring buzzed in my ears.

This is it Bella, please don't mess it up.

"I've chosen you. If you still want me. I...I love you Jacob".

The air surrounding us hummed with anticipation and missing responses. Minutes passed by and Jake continued to stare at his cuticles, picking the lose skin around his nails - never once looking at me or even in my direction. It felt as if my whole world was collapsing - but not for a second did I doubt my decision. It would have been so easy to take it back, retract my feelings and laugh it off. I kept my mouth closed, knowing I had chosen the right person. As much as I needed him to talk to my, say something, anything, tell me his thoughts, I didn't push him. I had to give him time - as I had asked of him.

Time dragged by and we both remained motionless.

My stomach broke the silence with a loud,rumbling growl. My lethargic day hadn't involved any sort of food. I stole a glance at Jake who let out a loud sigh before laying back on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. I nervously rose and tiptoed to the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt him.

I grabbed the plate of left over muffins from yesterday and a bottle of coke with a couple of glasses before silently making my way back to my division of the sofa. Gently, I placed my meal on the coffee table and made to lean back when I jumped out of my skin. Jake had silently inched towards me, his face closer to mine than it had been since he came here.

"How can I believe you Bells? I haven't heard from you since you got here. You've abandoned me once before - dumped me as soon as he was back in your life. How can I be sure you won't do it again?"

His words and expression belonged to the bitter, sour faced Jacob who reminded me so much of Sam Uley. I had to try and convince him.

"I am so sorry for all the hurt I've caused you Jake. I admit I took you for granted, always assumed you would be there no matter what, but it was unfair of me to be like that. Even now, I selfishly assumed that if I chose you, you would choose me back. Foolish, silly Bella. You haven't imprinted on me , you have no ties to me - but I so wish you did. It took me forever to get where I am now Jake, but now I am here, I'm staying. I love you. I always have and I curse myself for not realizing sooner. I admit, I do still love Edward and its not going to disappear overnight. But I choose you Jake. I want to be with you - be your everything as you have for me. I want to comfort you and protect you, laugh and cry with you, live a happy, long and full life with you, together".

He remained silent. As he hadn't stopped me spilling my soul, a spark of hope and bravery overtook all sensibility. I inched closer to him, placing my cool fingertips gently to his feverish forehead.

"I love your smile. I love how you light me up just by being in the same room as me". I moved my finger tips around his face, praying he wouldn't stop me and gaining confidence as his eyes fluttered shut without a sound or movement. "I could stare at you for all eternity and never be bored of your beauty. Your a better person than I could ever aspire to be Jake, and I'm throwing myself at your mercy, begging you to feel the same".

My hand rested on his heart, feeling its rapid beat. Did it beat for me? I waited, hope ebbing as the seconds ticked by. My head whirled and I felt as if I was going to throw up.

I've lost him.

Weakly, I stuttered my final offense. "I hoped that, maybe, if I told you everything, told you how I felt, I could make you...love me, again.I'm sorry for dragging you out here".

I turned my head so he wouldn't be witness to my breakdown. Every sound seemed to be magnified a hundredfold. However hard I tried to hold onto what small fraction of dignity I had left, I was sure his enhanced hearing would have caught the splashing of my tears as they landed on the silk of my new dress, the whirling of my brain as it tried to make sense of what was happening, and the dying beats of my heart as it withered and gave up hope.

I tore my hand from his chest, but something large and luxuriously warm enveloped it.

"You don't have to try and make me love you again Bella. I never stopped, and while our hearts still beat I never will". It was impossible to ignore the double meaning of his words. "I've heard you saying these things to me a million times in my head, but now it seems so surreal, as if I'm still in a dream. You always told me you loved the lee-Edward" he corrected, his eyes unreadable.

"I do, I love you both. That's why this has been so hard for me. It was never a simple choice of who I loved the most. I love you both in such different ways but with equal ferocity. My choice was so much harder as it was so much more than that. I'm choosing between the light and the dark, the sun and the moon"

His thick raven eyebrows furrowed and he looked as if my words were causing him pain.

Desperately I tried to soothe him. "Let me explain. Jake, you are my sun. Edward, I guess, well he's like the moon. I'm the sky. Bear with me this metaphor kinda explains everything. You see, the moon, its glorious. Everyone admires its beauty and how it lightens up the sky. But it's inconsistent. It has many different shapes and forms and they all affect the sky - making it lighter and darker. When Edward left, I was a moonless sky. Empty, I didn't shine. There were stars, glimmers of hope, but I was dark. But the sun, the sun brightens the sky always. It is reliable, consistent, and works wonders for the whole earth. You have worked wonders on me Jake. So you see, I choose you. I know how much I am going to lose by giving up Edward and I don't deny that its going to be hard, but I would have you in return. You once said to me that you were the natural path my life should have taken. I'm telling you I am finally right on track. I know that there's a chance that your soul mate will come along and you will have no choice other than to leave me and be with her. I would rather be in the sun for one hour than an eternity of moonlight".

His jaw dropped so far he was almost drooling on the carpet.

I was spent. I would continue to fight tooth and nail to keep him, but I was running out of things to say. I decided to conclude my side of the argument.

"Jake I lo-", but I never finished my sentence.

My dry lips were covered with his soft, full, loving ones - my top lip was cradled between his two. His hands caressed my face and his thumbs traced soothing circles across my cheekbones. The kisses lingered languorously, he released and repeated so often I forgot myself. Our falling tears mingled and I pulled away momentarily to kiss hem away before kissing every millimeter of the curve of his perfect mouth. I moved my lips back to his, kissing him deeply he would understand how passionately I meant everything I had told him.

It was completely different to the first kiss we had shared on the mountain top. That one was raw and passionate, this kiss told a thousand stories and held a thousand promises.

We broke apart but kept our noses pressed together, our eyes locked.

"I can't believe this is happening" he breathed against my skin. He tasted so good that couldn't stop myself fro leaning into another gentle, closed mouth kiss.