A Short Intermission

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Transylvania


"Hello, dear friends," Transylvania said seriously. He was sitting on a spotlighted stage, his hands folded neatly in his lap.

"Today we are going to be talking about an issue that has plagued the world for centuries," he said. "An issue that has caused much pain and heart break among us nations, and should be taken very seriously." He paused for dramatic effect.

"Anglo curses," he uttered. There was a loud gasp heard from the Audience, and Latvia began to cry. (He stopped crying however when Belarus smacked him across the face.)

"I myself am a victim of a terrible Anglo curse," he sighed. "I am eternally tortured with the presence of a hideous monster, who haunts me day and night."

"BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Shouted Mr. Vampyre from the audience, causing several nations to scream and run out of the room.

"Terrible, I know," Transylvania said, "but there are far worse curses, here to speak to us today is another survivor of an Anglo curse, Mr. Hong Kong,"

There was a short applause as Hong Kong made his way on stage.

"Ni Hao," said Hong Kong in a tone that made him sound oddly robotic, "My name is Hong Kong, and when I was young, England cursed me to have thick eyebrows,"

The Audience gasped and hissed and booed.

"He did the same thing to me!" shouted India.

"Me too!" cried Montserrat and Maldives.

"And me!" shouted Australia, and New Zealand. The two glanced at Tasmania, who backed up against a wall. "Nope! No eyebrow curses here!" she stammered. "And I would like it to stay that way."

"Hey America?" Canada whispered, "We lived with England for forever, how come we never grew obnoxiously large eyebrows?"

"Quiet Canada! You'll jinx us!" America hissed.

"This is probably the most wide spread of Anglo curses," Transylvania sighed. "The Anglo known as England claims you as a territory, exploits you like there's no tomorrow. Then he steals all your culture and pastes caterpillars on your face!"

The audience booed again.

"Hold on!" Everyone gasped as Portugal took the stage. "I'd like to say a word in England's defense,"

Everyone began to shout and boo, and a tomato was thrown at Portugal from somewhere in Spain's direction.

"BLASPHEMY!" shouted Argentina. "HE'S EVIL I TELL YOU! EVIL!"

Portugal ignored the angry shouting and pulled out a chart.

Everyone immediately became quiet when they saw how professional he looked.

"I have directed all of my government funded scientific programs towards the issue of England's eyebrows up until this point, and I can assure you that he's not giving you giant eyebrows on purpose."

"He's not?" the Audience asked.

"He's not," said Portugal. "Our studies have shown that England's eyebrows are in fact a deadly disease! Precisely 7000 years after the eyebrows have been contracted the victim instantly dies!"

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" shouted Australia. "YOU CAN'T BE FREAKIN' SERIOUS!"

"This disease needs to be quarantined, Da?" said Russia. "How about we blow up all the nations who have it?"

"I don't think that will work Russia," Lithuania sighed.

The Audience was now a mess with thick browed nations who were running around shrieking about their imminent deaths.

"Was that really true?" Brazil asked Portugal as he sat down.

"Nope," he said bluntly. "Now England and I are even."

"What? Did he curse you too or something?" Brazil asked.

"New Years eve he got drunk and enchanted my toilet so it would talk." Portugal sighed. "I ended up having to buy a new one,"

"...That's nasty..." Brazil grimaced.

"Yep."

"Alright!" Transylvania declared, standing up for all to see. "I think we all agree that the only way to fix this problem, is to declare war on England, Scotland, Wales, and both of the Irelands."

There was a roar of agreement.

"Alright that's enough!" the room went quiet as Ireland took the stage. A few gasps were heard. "All of ye, don't get yer trousers in a knot," she sighed.

"Wha-WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE!" Transylvania yelled.

"Hey! Transy! Long time no see!" Ireland laughed, smacking Transylvania on the back and causing him to fall over.

"Get your hands off of me!" Transylvania yelled. "This meeting was called to determine what we were going to do about you and your barbaric siblings-"

"Oye," Ireland laughed. "No easy shots at the babbie brothers, though ye can provoke Scotland if ye want, I'm sure he'd take you up on a fight, love,"

Transylvania wrinkled his note in disgust and straightened his jacket out. "Because of you my life was ruined, I've been followed around by that...thing...and it's all been downhill from there,"

"Who? Oh ye mean Dracula?" Ireland said pointing her thumb at the vampire in the audience. "Ye should be nicer when ye talk about him, he's a fragile creature."

"He drinks blood for heavens sake!" Transylvania shrieked.

"And America eats toxic cow fat but that doesn't say anything about the lad's character," Ireland laughed.

"Wait did she just insult me?" America asked Canada through a mouthful of hamburger.

"It's nothing that hasn't been said before," Canada whispered.

"Oh, Okay then." America shoved the rest of the burger in his mouth. "That reminds me, who are you again?"

"Canada, your brother,"

"Oh, Okay then."

Up on the stage Transylvania was still holding a very one-sided argument with Ireland.

"Your horrible black magic, and your outrageous behavior says it all! Not to mention you're unnecessarily violent, and cruel."

"Yer jist still sore about the time I sent you that Twilight merchandise on yer Birthday," Ireland sighed. "I swear, I honestly thought you'd like it."

"I remember that," Hungary laughed. "That was funny."

The rest of the Audience began laughing too.

"No!" shouted Transylvania, "It was not funny! It ruined my image! That's what you are Ireland! An image ruiner!"

"At least I'm not a Twilight Fan!" Ireland laughed.

"I HATED THAT BOOK!"

Just then light flooded through the dark room, and everyone looked up to see England standing before them.

"Hey Eejit!" Ireland smiled. "The Vampire freak was trying to conspire against us again, luckily I saved ye from destruction."

"WHAT ARE ALL OF YOU DOING IN MY CLOSET?" England shrieked.

"Well that explains why it was so cramped in here," China said glancing around at England's many sweater vests.

"Hey England! Why do you have a dress in here?" France smiled, pulling out the Britannia Toga and raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"GET OUT!"


~End of Omake~