Just want everyone to know that unfortunately neither Cloud or any other wonderful charatcers from Final Fantasy VII belong to me no matter much I wish they did.
Chapter 11: To hell and Back
Numb, the pain I felt had faded and left me alone and confused, reality slipped away along with my memories that had begun to die.
I felt almost nothing now only calming warmth was able to reach me in this place. Not the heat that would scorch me as I took my place in hell but the comforting warmth one feels when they embrace the ones they love. When the one you love has been gone for so long and you finally get to be in their arms again; the warmth and safety you feel being held so closely will reassure you that everything is alright, that is the warmth that consumed me.
My senses disappeared along with my life and I was left unseeing, unhearing, never to feel anything again but this warmth and even without those I know there is something wrong.
This is not the afterlife I need, the eternity I must have to make things right; I have to see her even if I can only look up at her from my place in the flames below; I can't stay here in this place, if I do nothing can change.
There has to be more... I have to see her...
A silent plea I begged to be heard as I wait in the warmth unchanging until a single drop touches me softly.
Within a moment I feel the cool liquid dripping again and again into my palm. With every drop that touches my under sensitive skin I can feel my senses becoming slightly clearer.
The darkness begins to fade and in its absence the soft glow of green and white push their way into my vision.
Lilies, the flowers I had grown so accustomed to spread out around me.
Among the pale radiance there stood a figure clothed in pink. I knew it was her, the woman I desired so much to see, the one I had done all of this for. I wanted to embrace her, to hold her close and never let go. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and that I wanted to spend all eternity making her happy.
I wanted all of these things but my lips stayed silent and my body lay still, unable to move.
I see her smile, so faint and unlike what it always was.
There was something so hurt and broken about this girl, so much sadness filled her eyes that I had wonder if this was the same person I had known and spent so much on trying to find. She sat beside me staring as tears slowly streamed from her emerald eyes, eyes that spoke of sadness and fear as they projected what lay in the depths of her heart.
Her eyes... There is something different about them from the last time...
"Cloud... I'm so sorry..." her quiet voice was the only sound as it echoed throughout my mind.
Why are you sorry? Everything is my fault; I'm the one who has done wrong not you...
I wanted so desperately to speak to her, to apologize for everything I have done, and to beg for forgiveness but my lips still refused to move.
"I should have protected you from him, but I couldn't, he was too strong. Please forgive me Cloud."
Her tears fell as her words dug deep into my heart,
Don't cry, please... Don't be sad, it hurts too much...
The sight of her sadness hurt me so much that I felt like I might breakdown at any moment as well.
I wanted to hold closely and tell her things would be okay, I wanted to wipe away her tears so I could see her beautiful eyes, but my body wouldn't budge.
Still, I lay listening to her confessions unsure of her words. There is something so different, her actions, her words; they are familiar but lost.
In my mind all I can remember is the malice and anger, the hatred she held for me when I had failed.
So why now, is she crying? I am here, and I'm finally with her; if this is what she wanted - what she demanded of me - then why is she crying?
"Aeris..." quietly my voice finally manages to push through and she seems almost afraid, scared of what I might say. Her emerald eyes were soft, sadness had taken everything else from her and left here by my side confession to something she thinks she did but I don't understand what she has done.
"Please... Don't cry" she looks deep into my eyes, staring, unbelieving my words.
"But, it's all my fault. I couldn't protect you from him, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even help you, and now you're here because of me." Her eyes seemed to lower with every word until she could no longer look at me. I don't understand what she is talking about when she says "him," what happened that I don't remember?
I am here for you because that is what I chose
"I came here for you, to make you happy. You told me before that that is what you wanted..." I plead to her hoping that what was left of my memories wasn't deceiving me. Thing's weren't making sense anymore, but I can't remember if the ever did in the first place.
"Cloud... you can't stay here. I'm sorry, please forgive me. You have to go back to the people who need you..." Something about her was bothering me, not bothering so much as standing out. Her eyes, they were different from the last time I saw her; I'm sure they changed, but I know people can't simply change the colour of their eyes.
"What happened to your eyes?" I interrupted her before she could say anything more and she simply stared at me, almost as if she didn't know what to say.
"What do you mean? My eyes have always been this way..." She looked at me suspiciously, like there was something wrong with me although there probably was.
"They are different. Last time I saw you... they weren't that colour." Something in my mind clicked, I felt as though I finally knew the answer but something was holding the knowledge from me. I could feel tears building up in my eyes but I still couldn't understand what was happening.
"Cloud, I told you... It wasn't me it... it was" She was crying harder now, stuttering as she tried to speak. My mind was racing, I couldn't think, things weren't making sense but I couldn't remember anything.
I couldn't try to piece things together from fragmented memories because even those were gone. I was losing myself inside my mind, I wanted to scream, to fight everything away and hide.
Something inside me was gnawing away at what little I had left, I couldn't bear the thought of going through everything I did for her to find out she didn't even want me.
Were could I go now, she didn't want me I can't go back, I can't even remember were back is anymore; what am I supposed to do now? I don't have the answers, nor do I know how to find them, all I have now is the mess that is my mind, or what it once was.
Aeris still sat beside me trying desperately not to tell me what was happening while refusing to look at me.
"Who?" I demanded. I looked at her with my own tear filled eyes; I wanted some kind of an answer I needed something. Anything would do, but she just sat there not willing to tell me.
Without warning things began fading away, darkness plagued my vision and everything a felt and though were becoming distant.
"Please forgive me..." were the last words I heard before the darkness sunk into my mind and dragged me away. Everything became lost to me, the need for memories, tears, and even the desire for answers I so desperately wanted; they were replaced by the darkness.
"We're friends, right?" A voice suddenly broke through the obscurity, someone so familiar yet so distant.
"Yeah" I said, something inside me told me this was something I could trust, that the voice belonged to someone who would never lead me in the wrong path, never hurt me, someone who I could give my life to and they would never abuse it.
"Then listen to me. You have to go back; you have to live for the people that need you. You need to be happy, even though it will be hard. Everything will be alright just don't forget that we are here for you and don't give up, okay Spikey?"
Something about him made me happy just hearing his voice; it has been so long since I heard it and even though everything else is gone, he is the only thing I could never forget.
I don't want to go back, I don't think I can anymore, but I trust him, I have to at least try, not for myself or anyone else, only for him, the one who gave his life for mine. I owe him at least that much...
As my consciousness begins to slip away I smile - only slightly - so small that even I don't know for sure that I am smiling.
"Thank you Zack..." Is all I can say before my consciousness is gone completely and soon the darkness becomes faint.
I can hear something in the distance, screaming, of pain and agony and it only when my body becomes engulfed in excruciating pain that seems to pierce through my entire being that I realize the screams are my own.
Sorry for the shitty chapter and ridiculously long wait.
