Dr. Adams asked if I wanted to talk about anything. I asked if I could see Nick, but he said I couldn't. Having visitors was entirely up to Nick, and he wasn't seeing anyone right now.
Then I asked him if I could write Nick a letter. Dr. Adams said he'd give him my letter, but there was no guarantee that Nick would read it.
Judy sat at the coffee table in Rita's living room amidst a pile of crumpled up papers as she tried again to write a letter to Nick:
Nick,
You're an idiot. Holly and I love you, and we need to see you.
Judy
Judy sighed before crumpling up the letter and dropping it with the others. She put the pencil down and held her head in her paws.
I just want to kick the door down and go in after Nick, but getting fired and going to jail right before I go back to court to fight for custody of Holly probably wouldn't be such a great idea. I've gone over and over it in my head… what can I say or do to fix this? And I keep coming back to a terrible answer: nothing. The proverbial ball is in Nick's court, and I can't make him serve it back to me if he doesn't even want to play. I keep imagining Nick telling me, "You just have to be patient, Carrots." But how am I supposed to be patient, when Nick is trying to disappear from our lives forever?
I have to wonder, if Nick were in my place, what would he do? Something really clever and incredibly stupid, no doubt. All my ideas so far only fall into the stupid category, so now I'm trying to figure out some clever ones.
Chief Bogo called to tell me that later this morning the mayor's office will announce whether the DA would be filing charges against Nick or not, at the amphitheater in the park a few blocks from City Hall. I asked to get put on the protection detail, but he said absolutely not, and not just because I'm still on administrative leave.
Instead, he told me to stay home and watch it on TV. It's interesting that Chief Bogo felt the need to call and tell me about an event he then warned me not to attend, and since Nick hadn't tried to stop me from going, or even given me any indication that he'd be there… I knew it probably wouldn't be safe, but I had to go. If there was any chance he would be there, I had to see him. Even if it was from thirty yards away, with an angry mob and a line of mammals in riot gear between us.
Thankfully Rita came with me and Holly. The small elephant was big enough to make navigating the crowd easier, and we were able to get close to the corner of the stage. We found a spot alongside a group of elephants, almost right in front of the line of officers in riot gear.
While we waited, Rita did her best to distract me from the mammals around us who were holding signs like "it isn't safe for a fox to care for a bunny" and other more hateful KWK slogans.
Chief Bogo and several officers stood in a semicircle behind the mayor's assistant and a podium packed with microphones. The dark fur of the panther glistened in the sunlight as she prepared to address the crowd, her slender form standing out in stark relief against the faded yellows and reds of the leaves in the trees behind her.
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemammals. The ZPD, after a careful review of the facts and circumstances surrounding the death of Edward Escurro, in conjunction with the Zootopia District Attorney's Office, has determined that Officer Nicholas Wilde was justified in the use of force to defend himself."
Several mammals booed, while one shouted, "What about Henry?" as he waved a sign that loudly proclaimed Justice for Henry.
The panther continued. "A thorough investigation has also determined that the death of the rabbit, a Mr. Henry Lapin, was a direct result of trauma inflicted by Mr. Escurro. The attempts by some to paint Officer Wilde as the culprit in this matter are unfortunate and misguided. All inquiries related-"
The crowd got louder and angrier, drowning out the panther's words as several protesters in the crowd reacted to the announcement, shouting threats and waving their signs.
Judy noticed a nearby group of porcupines. "Oh sweet cheese and crackers."
As the crowd got riled up, I saw the porcupine who was handing out fliers on the train yesterday, at the same moment he saw me. He obviously recognized me, too, as he and a few other porcupines barged towards us, animals scattering quickly out of their way to avoid their quills.
I tried to get Rita to hold Holly for me, but when she saw what was happening, she picked me up with her trunk and held me over her head. Holly clung to me, as we dangled just above the level of the stage. I looked down at the officers in front of us, and a few of them peered back up at me uneasily.
And then I saw Nick, standing next to Jimmy. Nick was wearing a yellow hawaiian shirt, but he didn't have his sunglasses on. His face was expressionless, and he was squinting in the bright light as he looked at the angry crowd.
It's weird how everything seemed to move in slow motion after that, as my adrenaline kicked in. Heads turned as Rita and one of the other elephants started yelling at the porcupines, and Holly suddenly spotted Nick.
She made a noise I've never heard her or any other bunny make before. It was a cross between an excited scream and a bunny war cry, if such a thing ever existed. What really amazed me was how loud it was. More heads turned to look at us as Holly squirmed out of my paws and lept onto the stage, where she landed and immediately made a beeline for Nick.
It was pure bedlam after that. Officers huddled around Nick and the panther protectively, and several protesters surged forward, thinking another mammal had broken through the line of police and was making a run at Nick, which technically was true.
I yelled and pounded on Rita's trunk with my paws, trying to get her attention so she'd let me go. It was too loud, and she didn't notice me while she argued with the porcupines.
I swear my heart stopped when I looked up to see two of the officers I didn't recognize raise their tranq guns and take aim at Holly. My screams were lost in the noise of the crowd, but luckily Chief Bogo intervened and bellowed for everyone to stand down as Holly dashed right between one of the officer's legs and out of sight.
As the line of police started to push us away from the stage, Rita looked at me and realized I wasn't holding Holly anymore. She loosened her grip enough for me to break free and leap onto the stage, just as the part of the crowd furthest from us let out a collective gasp.
I still couldn't see what was happening, as I raced towards the group of mammals gathered around Nick, but whatever it was, the effect on the crowd was… well, I can't think of a single word to describe it. I suppose the best I can do is to simply wax poetic, and say that as they watched whatever was happening, a shroud of silence enveloped the crowd.
When I got closer, Chief Bogo yelled for several of the officers to move out of the way and I saw Nick doing something I never in a million years would have imagined him doing, especially in front of so many strangers.
He was sitting on the ground, weeping, as he held Holly.
More than a few signs were left behind on the ground at the park that day. That night on the evening news, I got a birds eye view of what had happened, along with hundreds of thousands of other Zootopians. It was a scene that would get played over and over for the next few days as the rest of Nick's story unfolded.
I saw the parts I'd missed, like the dumbfounded looks on the faces of the mammals on the stage who stood gaping at Holly as she barrelled towards them. Except Chief Bogo, who stood calmly before he shouted at the officers to hold their fire and move out of the way as I came running across the stage.
When Nick finally spotted Holly, the look on his face was pure terror. He took a step back and held up his arms, as if to ward off a blow, and Holly jumped right into him and knocked him over. He tried to pull her away, but she wouldn't let go of him. He finally gave up, and he just wept and held Holly, who couldn't hold still as she rubbed her face on his and hugged him back.
When we were finally able to pry Holly off of him, Nick reluctantly agreed that I could come visit him at the hospital tomorrow. He said he'd wear a muzzle, as a precaution, but I told him there was no way in hell he was hiding from me behind a muzzle, or anything else, ever again.
I so badly wanted to hold him, but I knew he wasn't ready for that yet.
He looked so thin when I saw him yesterday. I brought him a blueberry muffin from our favorite coffee shop when I visited. Normally he would have scarfed it down in two bites, but today he just picked at it while we talked.
"I know you, Nicholas Wilde. Maybe even better than you know yourself, at least some of the time. Don't run from two bunnies. We aren't that scary."
He didn't look at Judy as he spoke hesitantly. "I'm not afraid of you, I'm afraid of me. I don't trust me anymore."
Judy reached out and touched his arm, but he flinched and she drew back and clasped her paws together in front of her on the table as she replied, "I do. And I trust us. I want to just dive right in and fix everything, right now. But I realize that I can't, at least not this time. And you just want to hide in the shed forever, but guess what? You can't, because we won't let you. I can't fix this, and you can't fix this… but… we can. We can work through this. Together. I need you to get this through your thick skull, Nick. Together, we can do things that neither of us can do when we're alone… when we're apart. And I'm not just talking about saving the city from night howlers.
"I know things won't just go right back to the way they were before all this happened. Luckily I'm getting pretty good at being patient, you know."
Nick smiled when he heard the last part.
"Take all the time you want to hide and work through this, but please… please don't shut us out. You won't hurt us, Nick."
Nick still refused to look at her as he spoke. "How do you know, though? Would you bet your life on it, or Holly's?"
"I already have."
Nick slowly turned to look at Judy and froze, a bit of muffin halfway to his open mouth, as she continued.
"Just coming to the park yesterday was a risk, if things got ugly. But I can take care of Holly, and I can take care of myself. Life is full of risk, Nick."
He lowered his paw and closed his mouth, putting the muffin on the table and reaching out to cover her paws with one of his as he looked away again while she continued. "I figured Holly would react when she saw you, though I had no idea she'd react that strongly. I wasn't sure how I would get close enough for you to see us. But I guess our clever little superbunny figured that part out for me." Judy shrugged and looked down at their paws on the table. "I knew… I just knew, if you saw us… "
Nick shook his head as he spoke. "You… you're one sly, hustling bunny, Judy."
She smiled. "And you're my wonderful, dumb fox. That instinct that you're focused on right now, just remember that it isn't the only one you've got, and it definitely isn't the strongest one."
Nick let go of Judy's paws and picked at the muffin for a few minutes before he spoke again. "So… was she actually saying my name, or was she just telling me that I'm gross?"
Judy chuckled as her mouth quirked into a smile. "I dunno. You'll just have to ask her yourself, when you're ready."
They sat together in silence until Nick finally finished eating.
Tears welled in Judy's eyes as she started to chuckle, before she finally broke down and laughed.
"What's so funny, Carrots?"
"Nick, you should have seen how far she jumped… you really did teach her how to fly."
