Alright...well...I've been super busy with school lately and I am really sorry I haven't been updating much...but thank you all so much! Arigato to all who read and reviewed!
One Year Later:
Everything...is so peaceful...I felt the warm sunlight seep through my curtains and onto my face as I began to awaken from my pleasant dreams, everything...is so pure...all red stains...have disappeared...
I inhaled deeply and stretched out my arms, yawning and rolling over onto my back, glancing at my alarm clock. 8:30 on the dot. Sitting up, my hair draped around my shoulders and the static crackled on my pajama pants as I pushed the covers off me, touching my feet to the floor. My pale reflection stared back at me; the tired amethyst orbs were still foggy with drowsiness and my hair had almost reached the middle of my back over the course of the past year...
"It's already been a year," I sighed to myself, my chest tightening slightly as I began to brush through my tangled hair, "one year since I last saw Kaname-sama and Yuuki-sama..."
Within that one, long year, an emptiness had built up inside me, a hole of some sort that began to eat away at me whenever I flashed back to the last time I watched Kaname walk out of my life for only God knew how long...the same with Yuuki. It was if I was incapable of feeling any sort of emotion other than sadness and emptyness...there was nothing. Some days, not even Zero could cheer me up, which made me feel even worse because I knew he was worried to the point of almost having a melt down.
I sighed again, setting my brush aside and pondered whether or not I wanted to bother with my hair. Any sort of interest I had in my apperance had completely vanished...which was a problem because I had black cirlces under my eyes, I was paler than Edward What's His Face and my hair...don't get me started. I almost looked like that one guy from that anime about that psychopath and the notebook that gave people strokes. Or was it heartattacks?
"Hey, Kaiyo, are you awake?" Zero's voice came, wreaking my train of thought and I turned my head towards the door.
"Yeah, I'm up. You can come in, Kiryuu-kun," I replied as I braided my hair and he creaked the door open, slipping inside.
"The Chairman wanted you to come get some breakfast with us and school got called off because of the weather," he informed me, his voice flat, eyes avoiding contact. I wondered how much Yuuki's departing affected him...he had become even more quiet and secluded since she left...
"Hey, Zero?"
"Mm?"
I paused, tying a red ribbon around the end of my braid and Zero welcomed himself to sit on my bed. I shuffled over to him, keeping my hands folded over one another in front of me, pondering if I should ask a question so personal...
"About Yuuki...is there something you want to tell me? I mean...you've gotten even more secluded since she left..." I pointed out bluntly, extending my hand towards his cheek. As I had expected him to do, Zero brushed off the question.
"It's not what you think, Kaiyo," he snapped and stood abruptly, knocking my hand carelessly away from his face.
"Zero," I pressed as he began to walk out of my dorm, and he paused, his lavender glare causing me to hesitate, "did you tell her...you love her?"
For a minute, I swore Zero was going to knock me into the next month with the glare he shot at me, but his glowering softened and he closed his eyes, as if feeling a bit depressed.
"I'm not in love with Yuuki, Kaiyo. I don't know why you're so convinced it's her I'm in love with."
A long pause followed his statement, my thoughts webbing together again as I comprehended who he was referring to. I was positive he wasn't thinking of anyone in the former Night Class...he never talked to Ruka or Rima...
"Zero...?" The conclusion finally clicked and I understood. (Don't judge me...it was 7:00 in the morning!)
Zero bowed his head before turning again and clutching the door handle, his silver bangs in his eyes.
"Look, just don't worry about it, alright? I didn't plan for you to find out anyway."
"Why?" I asked him, my eyebrows cocking and he growled. I began to reach for his arm but Zero shifted, shooting me a dark glare.
"Just...don't worry about it okay?" he snapped. "Come on, Chairman wants us both down for breakfast. That's the actual reason I came up," Zero added coldly as if holding back a storm of emotions.
I lowered my hands back down to my sides, not knowing what to say. I didn't want to reject him...but...I wasn't in love with him either...however...
"This is very cruel of me to say...but..." I felt my legs begin to move and I was directly behind him, "I'm trying to forget Kaname-sama."
Zero raised his head slightly, not turning back around to meet my eyes and he sighed.
"You don't need to forget anyone for my sake-"
I pressed my hand against his back, cutting him off and he tensed, appearing surprised.
"I want to try...I mean...not forget him but my feelings for him...so..." I raised myself up on my toes, wrapping my arms around Zero's neck, my head on his shoulder, "maybe."
I failed to decipher Zero's emotions after I gave him supposed hope. I knew it was borderline inhumane for me to plant such thoughts into his mind. I didn't even know what I really wanted...however, it was possible wasn't it? I could try to love Zero...couldn't I?
Later that Day...
One of those days where I didn't know what to do with myself. Thoughts consumed me so much to the point where I had run into four doors, two walls and a tree, surprisingly not having any bruises to show. How I managed to do such a meraculous deed, I was not sure.
Snow was still spiriling down from the sky, the faint sunlight making it glisten on the frozen ground and I felt a coy smile tug at my lips as I watched the snow shimmer in the gray light. The campus was quiet and I could hear a student practicing a violin in the distance, setting the mood of the day perfectly. Everything was peaceful and I walked in the same pace as the faint music, once again not paying attention to where I was going.
"Kaiyo," Zero's voice came from behind me and I turned around just in time to not trip into the brick wall before me.
"Hi Zero," I greeted and he strode over to me.
"You've been circling the campus all day. Aren't you dizzy yet?"
I laughed a little and shook my head.
"No, I just think better when I walk around."
"Mm."
We were silent and Zero took a step towards the Sun Dorm, I following close behind. Still striding in silence, I kept close to him as he ascended the stairs and studied his movement. Zero carried a certain grace with him that I hadn't seemed to notice too much before hand, his strides long and steady. His violet eyes remained straight ahead, the expression they held important, as if he had some noteworthy deed to do. I matched my pace to the speed of Zero's and followed him into the kitchen where I proceeded to peel off my layers of clothing.
"How are you holding up with all of this?" Zero asked me as he pulled the refrigerator door open to retrieve a bottle of water.
"I guess no different than usual," I found myself replying and the violet orbs shifted over to me. I shuffled my feet, feeling a bit sorry and Zero swallowed the mouthful of water he had.
"Kaiyo, I know this isn't the best thing for me to say but-"
"Look, I know what I should do, alright?" I snapped and Zero focused his eyes on me once more.
"Kaiyo-"
"You know, you don't have to deal with this," I blurted out impulsivly. "You don't know what it's like to watch someone be ripped from you life!"
Zero's jaw dropped open and I couldn't tell if the expression in his eyes was pure rage, shock or both. At that moment, I didn't care either. I left him standing frozen in the kitchen, stalking back to the dorm room, my nails digging into the soft skin of my palm.
Damn it...
Zero's POV:
I wasn't sure which feeling was more dominant, rage or shock. First of all, what the hell had I said to deserve that? Second, Kaiyo knew damn well I knew what it was like to have a person I cared about ripped out of my life in an instant and third...just flat out what the hell!
"Why that ungrateful-" I stopped myself from muttering such curses and filled my mouth with water to keep further statements from tumbling out over my lips.
I know she's hurt, but that was just unfair and uncalled for, I thought bitterly to myself and I heard shuffeling footsteps down the hallway.
Assuming it was just another Day Class student I payed no heed to who entered the kitchen, up until I caught her scent.
"Uh...Zero...?" Kaiyo said from beside me and I cast my eyes down at her, still rather furious.
"What?"
Kaiyo gnawed on her lower lip and wrung her hands in front of her, her expression embarrassed and extrememly apologetic.
"I'm sorry Zero," she said softly and I raised my eyebrow slightly. "What I said was terrible and uncalled for. I know you're just trying to help."
"Yeah. I just don't think you should be so upset over Kuran anymore. I mean, it's been a year and how many times have you heard from him?"
Kaiyo paused, recollecting and pondering the question.
"About...seven times..." she said, her voice small, the way it always got whenever she wanted to defend the one she loved but couldn't think of a valid excuse or explination.
"Mm," I repeated and continued to sip my water.
Kaiyo was silent for a few minutes and then I felt her arms wrap around me. Slightly taken aback, I tensed a bit but she didn't let go.
"I'm sorry...I really do need to get over this but..." she trailed off and I set my water bottle down on the counter before turning fully to return her embrace.
"Hey, don't get all sad about it again," I said quietly, not wanting to see her cry again but my hope in that shattered when I felt her tears leak through the fabric of my shirt. "Kaiyo, please don't cry. He's not worth it."
"I know," Kaiyo's voice was cracking and I tightened my arms around her, daring myself to rest my cheek on her head. "I'll get over it...I promise. Really...I appreciate how much you do for me Zero...I really do."
"I know you do," I assured her, attempting to help and her hands gripped the back of my shirt.
"Zero?"
"Yeah?"
"You're not mad at me, are you?"
"Not really."
"I really am sorry."
"I know. It's okay."
"No, it's really not..." Kaiyo murmured as she pulled away and rubbed her amethyst eyes.
We were quiet for a few moments and then Chairman poked his head into the kitchen, his eyes peering at us over the rims of his glasses.
"Hey you two, I just have some news," he said, his voice rather serious.
"Okay...?" I inquired and Kaiyo turned around to meet his gaze.
"What's going on, Chairman?" she interrogated, curious and I slipped my hands into my jean pockets, waiting for Chairman to answer.
"I have a request here for the two of you. There is going to be a party soon and the Vampire Hunting Association requests both of your presents there," he informed and I blinked.
"Okay, for what?"
"I might also warn you, Kaiyo," the Chairman ignored my question and kept his attention on the brunette before me, "Kaname is going to be there with Yuuki."
Figures, I thought sourly and I watched Kaiyo's body tense up after processing the news. She isn't going to be able to take this...I can tell.
"Chairman," I said before I could stop myself, "how about I just go? I'll do whatever job the Association wants and Kaiyo won't have to worry about-"
"No Zero," she silenced me and I studied her.
"Kaiyo, this is too much for-"
"I'll be fine. I told you I have to get over it don't I?"
"Well yeah but this will be like rubbing salt on a wound-"
"I'll be fine." She focused her eyes on me and a soft smile was spread across her face. "I'll be okay."
I felt my lips twitch but I knew I couldn't argue. Kaiyo was a persistant girl and I knew very well she was going to do what she said. All I could really do was just hope she wouldn't fall to pieces.
"Alright," I sighed and closed my eyes, Chairman clicking his tongue.
"Well, this is happening in two weeks, so, just some time to prepare if needed. Are you sure you will be okay with going, Kaiyo?"
"Yeah, it's cool. I'll be okay," Kaiyo assured him and Chairman nodded before departing.
"You've gotta be the most masochistic person I have ever met," I scolded, "you have to enjoy mental torture. You have any idea what this'll do to you?"
"Zero, really, I'll be fine. It's not like this is the worst pain anyone has ever suffered...really," she said, her eyebrows cocked when she gazed at me.
"I know but-"
"I'll be fine. Promise," Kaiyo smiled and I sighed, at a loss of words.
"Alright. Whatever you say," I surrendered and a faint laugh came from her.
"I know. I always win these arguments."
"Don't get so cocky. You only win because I let you."
"Haha. Wait...HEY!"
You're so clueless Abukara-san. XD Thank you all so much for the patience you have been giving me! I really hope I am making this a good story! Thank you to all who reviewed last chapter...I promise I'll get those awknowledgments in soon! Just...too lazy right now. XD But you'll get your gold stars, (figurativly speaking of course) soon. Ha. Thank you all again so much!
~SilverNightRain08
