whew, this chapter was disturbing to write, mainly because I suffer personally from the title! Look it up - anyone else who does also can probably sympathize lol X_x
Chapter 13
Trypanophobia
Two weeks after the mission and the training room incident, the third class SOLDIER's got their assessment results. Meia stood in the briefing room with Zack and watched him bring his report up on the big projector screen.
"Are you sure you don't mind me seeing that?" she asked him. Zack shook his head,
"Naaah, you're a cool dude…lady…, 'course I don't. Oh maaan…" The sparky teen put his hands behind his head and chewed his lip as he read the report;
*
Zack Fair – SOLDIER third class rank 7 – First term Assessment results -
Theory assessment
Instructor – Evan Birch
Company knowledge – Good
Combat theory – Average
Materia theory – Very Poor
Although Zack is certainly an enthusiastic young man, he needs to learn to focus that enthusiasm and apply it to the task at hand. He is easily distracted during lectures and has trouble concentrating. I believe he could do so much better if he calmed down and really focused.
Combat training assessment
Trainer – James Carter
Strength – Good
Speed – Above average
Agility – Above average
Stamina – Average
Materia use – Poor
Mr Fair's energy and enthusiasm is certainly very nice to work with. However it will sometimes get in the way when he is training, wasting valuable energy simply spent 'bouncing around'. He is doing well so far, but more focus wouldn't go amiss.
Field assessment
Assessor – Angeal Hewley
Zack seems to thrive on practical field work. He was bright and enthusiastic and showed a great willingness to learn. Unfortunately his unbridled enthusiasm landed him in trouble a few times, one encounter leaving a painful lesson for him to learn. Still, there is nothing wrong with his attitude, he just needs to learn to calm down and focus.
Promotion decision from Director Lazard – Rank increased to SOLDIER 3d Class, rank 6
Overall an average report Zack but there is vast room for improvement. Please work hard on the points highlighted by your peers.
*
Meia looked at Zack, who crossed his arms,
"I just can't help it…" He half pouted, "I get so excited…" He looked at his feet.
"You were expecting a higher promotion?" She asked him. Zack nodded his head. Meia put her hand on his back and gave it a pat,
"Hey, the report could have been worse. You just have to work a bit harder, that's all" She reassured him "Besides, half the group didn't get promoted at all. Imagine how bad they did" Zack sighed,
"Yea…I guess you're right. Angeal was cool though, have you met him?... Hey! Let's look at yours now…do you mind?"
Meia shook her head and deftly recalled her own report to display on the screen;
*
Meia LeSait – SOLDIER Third Class rank 7 – First term assessment –
Theory assessment
Instructor – Evan Birch
Company Knowledge – Good
Combat Theory – Good
Materia Theory – Good
Meia displays an aptitude for learning and applies herself every lesson and lecture. Not much to say other than keep up the good work.
Combat training assessment
Trainer – James Carter
Strength – Above Average
Speed – Very Good
Agility – Excellent
Stamina – Very good
Materia Use – Below Average
Meia has an advantage from her previous profession but even taking this into account her abilities are astounding. What she lacks in physical strength she makes up with speed and excellent reflexes. Her materia use needs improvement however and I believe she would benefit massively from some personal one-on-one training in this area. Overall a very good effort.
Field assessment
Assessor – Sephiroth
Miss LeSait has a good head on her shoulders and copes well with any given situation. She has a slight weakness in that she allows herself to hesitate before acting, something which is not necessarily negative, but she needs to work on her confidence so that she can make faster, firmer decisions. When she is required to, she is defiantly able to deliver more than is required of her.
Promotion decision from Director Lazard – Rank increased to SOLDIER Third class Rank 2 – Excellent report Meia, I am pleased with your progress. With regards to materia training, Sephiroth has volunteered to help with your development and is looking over his own schedule currently. He will let you know personally when he is ready.
*
Meia stared at her report, half stunned. The other half of her was confident and pleased. She knew she always tried hard, in the Turks nothing short of her best was good enough. In SOLDIER her old best wasn't enough so she pushed harder and her modified body rewarded her. Even more surprising was Sephiroth volunteering to help her personally. Zack was equally as stunned,
"Your only two steps from Second…you know that don't you?" He said, now looking at her, his usual spark back. She nodded in acknowledgment. That was the biggest surprise, her promotion. She wondered what the rest of her report said, the more classified sections that were for the directors eyes only. Things like medical reports and personal concerns of all the assessors. She was particularly interested in getting her hands on the reports from the scientists in charge of reporting her progress to Hojo. No light was ever shed on what they were actually doing or testing, something which made her contemplate utilising an old skill of hers to 'allow' herself access to the reports. She would have to research the security system protecting Shinra's computers before she could though. The last thing she needed was to be traced and then who knows what they would do to punish her.
Since that day, Meia was feeling slightly better about being in SOLDIER. Knowing Sephiroth was there for her gave her strength, although she wasn't about to tell him that. Just being his friend was enough to get her through the days. She always looked forward to that odd smile that they sometimes exchanged when they passed in the corridors. Knowing someone who had been through all the ranks of SOLDIER was comforting; if she needed help, all she had to do was ask.
But in the first week of spring, she would find she needed that strength more than ever.
***
"Ugh. That day already"
"Yep. Tomorrow in fact, don't forget your sick bag"
"Ha! I'd put money on you losing it this time Angeal. You almost did last quarter"
"Bet on Sephiroth for a change…"
"And throw away my money? Please…he's used to them"
"What am I used too, hmm?" Sephiroth said, stepping through the door, having heard most of his comrade's conversation from the other side.
"Ah, glad you could join us. It's injection day tomorrow" Genesis said, waving to Sephiroth before hoisting himself up on the briefing room table. The tall man sighed; Mako injections. One of the worst things they had to endure in SOLDIER.
Normal members of SOLDIER were only injected with mako when they joined, as part of the treatment they received. After that all they had to worry about was mako baths every six months, which were slightly irritating but mostly harmless. But for some reason, Angeal, Genesis and himself were injected with the stuff every three months. Sephiroth had asked, of course, why it was needed. But as usual, no one would tell him. The amount that people couldn't tell him was beginning to wear thin. If only he could get around the coding protecting Hojo's precious files he could learn so much. But it would take a special kind of person to get past that security. Sephiroth has learned the hard way that hacking Shinra's systems was nearly impossible and was forced to face that hacking was just as much an art as it was a process.
"Just try not to rip Hojo's head off, eh Seth?" Genesis added, bringing him round from his musings. He 'harrumphed' to himself; he couldn't promise that.
As noon finished the following day, the three first class friends made their way to the labs in the Shinra building. They weren't injected at the same time as the 'normal' members were bathed, even if the days coincided. Partly to preserve their privacy, partly to keep the procedure hushed.
Traditionally the three of them didn't eat anything a whole twenty four hours in advance of the injection. It wasn't standard, nor was it recommended, but the mako injections were harrowing and their bodies found ways of passing anything that was in their systems. Usually through vomiting. Sephiroth knew however, anything was possible. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to remember. Not now.
As they proceeded up the corridor, the seats lining the outer wall came into view and curiously, they had an occupant,
"Meia…" Sephiroth breathed, slowing down. No…they can't be…
"Meia!" Genesis waved and called to her. She looked up and quickly jumped to her feet in a salute. Angeal smiled at her and reached his hand out to ruffle the black locks on her head. The mood soon changed however,
"So why are you up here? Is everything ok?" Angeal asked, physically pulling her out of the salute she was holding.
"Yea, I'm fine but I was told yesterday I have to report here for an injection. They didn't say what"
The three men simply exchanged concerned glances. Sephiroth frowned,
"Are you sure…?" He asked her, stepping forward. Meia nodded to him and passed him the letter she had received. He scanned it while Genesis disappeared into the lab. It was true, no doubt about it. Sephiroth looked at her. She looked so lost. He felt a tug in his chest for some reason while he watched her bite her bottom lip and glance towards the door.
"When was the last time you ate?" He asked softly.
"Just now, at lunch"
Sephiroth sighed, "After a full breakfast and dinner last night?" She nodded. He looked at Angeal who frowned and shook his head. She was even in her full uniform. The letter had said nothing other than report here for an injection. She had no idea what was about to happen to her. Angeal grasped his arm and lead him away from Meia, out of earshot,
"What do you think is going on? Why does she have to go through this as well?" He asked under his breath. Sephiroth shook his head and looked at his friend.
"Well…the poor girl is in for a rough ride" Angeal said sadly before joining her again. Sephiroth watched him help Meia remove the thick belts and buckles keeping her armour in place. She wasn't wearing her helmet thankfully; they knew she would appreciate being as comfortable as possible. Even they weren't in uniform. They always dressed casually in normal clothes. Loose fitting pants and soft old tops were very much preferred. Genesis always wore his 'drunken happy face' shirt, as he called it. The round yellow smiley with a lopsided mouth and crosses for eyes gave him something to smile about afterwards. Genesis reappeared at the door and looked at him, shaking his head sadly. So, no mistakes. Meia was being injected too. But the question was, why?
They all walked solemnly into the lab and the door hissed shut behind them. It was gloomy, as it always was in these places. Various instruments and experiments were cluttered about haphazardly, pipes and cables hung between them like spider webs. Scientists flitted here and there, none of them looking up at the four members of SOLDIER who had just entered. They were led quite a way in, so a separate area cordoned off with screens and lit by bright overhead lamps. Meia glanced around nervously. She recognised the smell of mako, mingled with the smell of chemicals and surgical cleanliness. It made her feel lightheaded. They were greeted by a lone scientist, which wasn't Hojo. Sephiroth felt he could have jumped for joy if it wasn't for the rest of the circumstances.
"Professor Hojo is supervising an important project elsewhere so I will be performing the injections today" A tall skinny man with glasses informed them. Sephiroth glanced down at Meia, who he noticed had kept close to him since they entered. At least she would be spared Hojo for her first time. She was looking around, probably trying to locate exactly what she was going to be injected with. Again, he felt a twinge in his stomach. She was a ghost of her former self as a Turk like this; her fear was almost tangible to him standing so close. A fear that he was partly responsible for.
"Sephiroth first please, we'll get the biggest dose out the way now" The scientist drawled. Seems Hojo trains his staff to be as apathetic as he is. Sephiroth nudged Meia with his arm and gave her a small comforting smile. At least that's how he hoped it came across. She watched him step forward and remove his shirt, throwing it to hang over one of the screens, before climbing on one of the tables. Which chillingly looked very similar to an operating table. The scientist started talking to him, asking him various questions to which he gave simple answers. His blood pressure was taken before being asked to lie down and keep still. Then Meia noticed the table had restraints built into it. Big ones, they looked like they were designed to hold down something larger and stronger than normal people. The scientist began to fiddle with them but Sephiroth stopped him, stating he prefers not to use them.
"Why…why does he need to be restrained?" Meia asked Angeal timidly. He sighed,
"Well…you'll see Meia" He said sedately.
"But…isn't this just an injection? What's going to happen?" She replied, failing to hide the growing alarm creeping up on her. Genesis moved back to stand on her other side, watching as Sephiroth's arm was rubbed with local anaesthetic,
"We're going to be injected with mako, Meia, and the needle…isn't your usual hypo…" He told her. Her eyes went wide, mako? She almost died falling into the stuff and now it was being injected into her directly? She almost ran. The panic was now gripping her, threatening to choke her and she took a step back. Angeal reached behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to reassure her. All three of them watched as a huge needle, so large it was being wielded by a mechanical arm, positioned itself over a laser targeted crosshair on Sephiroth's shoulder. The table had been tilted forward and Meia stared at his face with panic stricken eyes. He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring look, before closing them and composing himself.
The long needle seemed to hesitate before it plunged mercilessly through the fair skin on Sephiroth's shoulder, not stopping until it had punctured the large vein that ran through into his chest. His face flickered slightly but he managed to remain calm. Mostly due to the fact the worst was yet to come. Meia looked at the syringe; there was a lot of mako in it, it was all going to be injected? The plunger began to administer the glowing green ichor and Sephiroth's eyebrows instantly tightened. His breathing got deeper as he focused every ounce of mental strength he had to block out the pain that was now invading his system.
Meia watched as every drop was pumped into him and finally the needle was withdrawn. The hole, oozing green tinged blood, was dressed and the tall SOLDIER was given a moment before he climbed off the table again. Sephiroth was usually fair but Meia was alarmed to see him totally drained of colour. His lips, usually dark and full, were deathly pale and shadows had appeared around his eyes. He recovered his shirt slowly and popped it over his head. He really wasn't himself and he moved beyond the table into a shadowy area, bending over with his hands on his knees to steady himself. Where he stayed until Genesis, who was next, was strapped in. He moved back beside Meia and stood tall again. She looked up; it was a strain for him. She could see it on his face.
Both Genesis and Angeal were restrained, the reason was now apparent to her. Both of them were unable to deal with it as well as Sephiroth. They fought against their restraints, clenched their jaws and had to supress yelling as guttural bellows. By now, Meia was terrified.
And she was next.
She tried to block out the sound of Genesis retching in the shadows.
Angeal's ragged breathing.
Sephiroth quietly comforting the two men as they tried to deal with the flood of mako running through their veins.
"Hey, Seth…go stay with her, we'll be alright here" Angeal managed to croak to his friend, before resting his head in his hands again. His head was spinning and he felt he would pass out any moment.
Sephiroth nodded and returned to Meia, who was frozen in place, watching the scientist fill her syringe. He stepped in front of her, blocking it out. Time for more out of character behaviour. He placed his hands on her upper arms and squeezed slightly, making her look up at him,
"I won't lie to you" He began softly, "This will hurt a lot. Afterwards you'll feel very sick and the nausea will continue for several hours" He rubbed her arms gently and let her absorb the information. She nodded slowly, eyes still wide with fright. After a moment she grasped the bottom of her uniform roll neck and peeled it off over her head. Sephiroth took it for her and she whispered a shaky 'thank you' to him before stepping forwards.
"Is this your first injection?" The scientist asked her. She nodded. He jotted something on his clipboard before taking her blood pressure. The fear was threatening to overwhelm her again and she breathed deeply. Even the uncomfortable pinch of the inflatable armband almost made her bolt but she forced herself to remain sitting on the table. She was then asked to swing her legs up and lay down, where she was restrained. First about the thighs, arms and waist. Then extra straps were tightened around her shoulder to keep the injection site still. Now there was no escape. The table was raised until she was only just lying down and the laser sighted crosshairs lined up on her shoulder. She watched the needle being positioned to the right of her and she began to panic…
"Meia, look at me" Sephiroth had moved as close to her as he was allowed. She didn't hear him, she was paralyzed with fear. The only thing that existed at the moment was the giant needle.
"Meia…" He put his hand on her face and pushed it away from the sight of the needle, forcing her to look at him. I'm scared she whispered to him please…I don't want this…please help me and a single tear rolled down her cheek, over Sephiroth's thumb. He shook his head solemnly,
You'll be ok. I'm here
She stared at him, the fear that was swallowing her retreated momentarily after he whispered those words to her. Then she felt the sharp piercing pain of the needle push through her skin. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt it come to a stop. The liquid began to force its way into her blood and for a brief moment, it felt no different from a normal injection. Then the pain hit her. Like fire was lacing its way through her system, white hot agony began to engulf her entire body from the point of injection. It was horrific. She gasped and tried to focus on her friend, but the more that was pumped into her, the more her vision was clouded. Her head felt like it was going to explode. The pain by now had spread right down to her toes and she clenched her jaw and squeezed her eyes closed. It would be over soon. She just had to hang on a little more. Her nails bit into her palms as she clenched them shut and her whole body went rigid. Then she became aware of her cheek being stroked ever so gently; Sephiroth still had his hand on her face. She focused on this small act of comfort and willed the pain to stop.
"All done. You may want to move sir…" The scientist chimed, almost happily now. Either it was his way of coping, or he was as sadistic as his boss. Sephiroth ignored him and he worked Meia free from her restraints as quickly as he could. She asked him to step back, saying she would be fine to get off herself but when she did, she felt as though the bones had been removed from her legs. Sephiroth caught her as she stumbled forward, her face crashing into his chest. Embarrassingly, she didn't have the strength to push herself away again. She tried to find her feet but to no avail. Her head was swimming and her body ached as if every muscle had been stretched and twisted.
Sephiroth stood straight and held her up, his large hands under her elbows. He was reminded that she was still topless, he couldn't touch anywhere without touching her skin directly. He swallowed and looked straight ahead, letting her try to compose herself. Something he found he needed to do also.
Just when she felt she had the strength to stand again, the nausea hit her. She pushed Sephiroth away; the thought of losing her lunch over him was mortifying. Luckily he knew what was coming and quickly helped her to a waste basin on the wall where she brought up all her lunch. Sephiroth stood behind her simply watching. He was still a little embarrassed from her partial nudity and didn't know what to do. Genesis got his attention from across the room and Sephiroth watched as he motioned to him, pretending to rub Angeal's back and holding his hair up and back, before pointing forcefully at Meia. Sephiroth understood and moved to Meia's left where he gently, and hesitantly, gathered her hair up in his left hand, holding it away from her face as she continued to be sick in the sink. He looked at her back; aside from the wide back strap of her bra she was nude still. He looked at his friends again and frowned. Genesis rolled his eyes while Angeal motioned 'Go on, get on with it' to him. So he took a deep breath and placed his free hand on her back and began to rub gently. At first his action was stiff, but eventually he relaxed and began soothing her again, speaking quiet words of encouragement.
For her first time, she had done well. He was impressed that she'd managed to stop herself calling out, but the aftermath she wasn't doing so well with. She kept vomiting even when there was nothing left to bring up and she remained dizzy for quite a while. She was leaning on the back wall of the elevator as they took it all the way down to the ground floor. Angeal explained that they weren't expected to stay on duty; Lazard understood what they had to go through and granted them the day off. Meia felt awful, even more so when they had told her that she would more than likely be injected every three months like them. She blinked, still not fully in control of her body and feeling like she'd been hit by a train. She also wanted to cry. To scream. Her composure and strength was fast leaving her. SOLDIER was yet again proving far more frightening than she imagined and she was beginning to dread each day all over again.
When they reached the bottom, she followed them out shakily, lagging behind somewhat. Angeal put his arm out, stopping the other two in their tracks,
"Hey, we can't just leave her like this. We should take her to her room before we leave"
Sephiroth nodded in agreement and went to help Meia, who was clutching a guardrail after a bout of dizziness. Genesis turned to Angeal when he was far enough away,
"So, what do you think? Is he?" He whispered quietly.
"Who knows? He's certainly accepted her, but whether he is or he isn't… it's up to him to work out. And don't tease him about it either Genesis" Angeal scolded.
After taking her up to her room, they made sure she was ok to be left alone,
"I'll be fine after a shower and a rest" She croaked, hugging herself for warmth. They didn't leave straight away however,
"Are…you guys feeling alright? I'm sorry; I didn't even think to ask…"
"We're fine. Mostly were used to it now…" Genesis replied. She looked at them,
"So, what are you doing now?"
"Well traditionally we do something to make us feel better. Go out, have a drink…get some food" Angeal trailed off when he saw her face at the mention of 'food',
"How can you stand to eat anything after that?" She asked.
"Hey, were used to it remember? First times are always the worst" Genesis answered. Meia nodded and swallowed down the ominous feeling welling up in her throat.
"Well, have fun. I'll…see you when I see you I guess" She managed, smiling weakly. Angeal and Genesis waved and turned back to the elevators but Sephiroth stayed.
"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" He asked gently. She nodded and smiled,
"Hey, I'm a SOLDIER now. I'll have to get used to it"
Sephiroth winced inwardly. No thanks to me, he thought. Meia seemed to pick up on his discomfort and she stepped closer to him,
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I'll be ok Sephiroth. Thank you for taking care of me in there…it was comforting having you with me" She looked up at him and was pleased to find him smiling down at her,
"If you need anything later, food…coffee, let me know" And he turned to follow his friends. She watched him leave and despite feeling terrible, she couldn't remove the smile from her face.
Her feelings were becoming far harder to supress now…
