Hello, all! This update took longer than I wanted it to, but it took some time to get things right so I could feel good about it. I hope you like it. Now, please to enjoy….
Chapter 11: NO REMORSE
"I don't think I can accompany you, Joey. It's probably a black-tie affair, and I don't really have anything…"
"Oh, I can take care of that. I'll send a car to take you to this place Schroeder recommended. My treat."
"Uh, I don't think I can accept something like that--!"
"It's no big deal. I'll send the car right over, so be ready. See you tonight."
Click.
Ryou glared at the receiver in his hand. "Un-fucking-believable, this guy." He didn't ask if I was free, or think I might have plans. He just obliterated my Saturday. I should dump his stupid ass.
Jouno called the driver Shroeder Corp had provided and arranged for him to pick up Ryou.
"Drop him off, then go get the Rolls washed, waxed and detailed. Big night tonight, 'kay? See ya."
He sat back down just as Seto came around the corner, holding a can of coffee.
Jou leaned back, sneering at Kaiba. What's with these fucking Japs? Hot coffee in a metal can? Fine, burn your fucking hands off, Douche.
Seto seemed to have calmed down from his homophobic hissy fit earlier. "Did I just hear you say Rolls, Mutt?"
"Yeah, like you don't have one of your own."
"Since when can puppies drive?"
"Don't need to. I've got a driver."
"Drugs or subsi-dating?" (Subsi-dating is when older men pay schoolgirls to hang out with them.)
"Oh, right, 'cause that's all I'm capable of. Yeah, I never get tired of those jabs, Moneybags."
"'Moneybags' is not an insult, you Dumb Mutt. There are two types of people in the world: those who are rich, and those who wish they were rich."
"'Mutt'?"
Jouno and Kaiba turned to look at the blonde-haired, yellow-eyed guy.
Shit… He was so quiet, I forgot he was there.
"GoldenPuppy?"
Jouno's eyes widened. My internet handle? Then this guy… He's GoldenEyes! "I'm sorry, what?"
"He's calling you Mutt, and Puppy, and you have blonde hair…"
"I'm not the only blonde in Japan, Dumbass. Get your nose outta other peoples' business."
GoldenEyes frowned. "There's no reason to be rude, ya know. You two are so loud, I couldn't possibly ignore you, anyway."
"Maybe you just need to try harder, hm? Ever heard of a walkman?"
GoldenEyes glared Joey down for a moment, then stood up. "Ever heard of fuck you? Geez." He walked off in the general direction of Paoma's room.
"I hate hospitals. They're always full of freaks."
Kaiba sat down next to Joey, and the sides of their legs were now pressed against each other. Neither of them spoke for a long time. When Kaiba finally said something, he kept his gaze fixed straight ahead, and so did Jouno.
"Where did you get the Rolls from, Wheeler?"
"I got a job."
"Doing what?"
A slight smirk. "I'll tell you later."
At this point Kaiba turned to look at the blonde hair hanging down to conceal Jou's eyes.
"Is it illegal?"
"That's really all you think of me, isn't it? Well, you know what?" He tipped his head back, sweeping the bangs up to reveal his eyes and make contact with Kaiba's. "You have no claim to me, and no right to give me any shit."
"I pay for your counseling."
"Oh, thanks for that. That's been so helpful and enjoyable. It hasn't fucked me up or wasted my time at all. I would've preferred some court-ordered quack to just go through the motions, then pass the judge a report clearing me for re-entry to my normal life—as normal as it can be, all things considered—but no, you had to get all fancy and call in this renowned psychologist or psychiatrist, whichever one she is. You just have to throw your money around and show off."
Kaiba leaned closer to Jouno, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. "We both know perfectly well that you're lucky to be walking free, considering all the shit you've pulled."
"You're doing it again. You wanna kiss me right now, don't you?"
Kaiba blushed. His eyes seemed to waver for just a moment.
Jouno closed his eyes and tilted his head a little. "Come on, Kaiba. Come and take it."
Jouno heard the bench squeak as Kaiba stood. He opened his eyes in time to watch Kaiba walking away. After he was gone from Jou's sight, Jou noticed that Kaiba had left his coffee can on the floor next to his seat. It was open, and Kaiba had taken a couple of swigs, but it was still practically full.
Jou picked up the coffee and placed his lips on the mouth of the warm can. His eyelids eased shut. He didn't drink any of the coffee, that wasn't what he wanted. Eyes closed, lips lingering, he pretended he was kissing Seto Kaiba.
After another couple of minutes, the door to Paoma Wong's room opened, and the doctor came out. GoldenEyes had been standing right next to the door, so he got to talk to the doctor first.
"Oh! Is Paoma okay? Can I see her now?"
"Where's Kaiba San?"
"I dunno." He nodded in Jouno's general direction. "He had a fight with his boyfriend and stormed off."
Without another word, GoldenEyes ducked into Paoma's room. The doctor started to walk away, but Jouno stopped her.
"Hey, Doc, any word on who did this?"
The doctor shook her head. "She received a concussion and lost her memories of that entire day, so the police have their work cut out for them."
Jouno suppressed a smile.
"You may go in if you wish."
Jouno didn't see the point anymore, but went anyway since doing otherwise might look suspicious.
The privacy curtain was drawn around Paoma's bed. Jouno stopped, frowning curiously. The first thought that came to him was, Maybe they're making out behind that curtain! An illicit affair between the doctor and the patient! So he snuck up to stay and listen for a bit. Maybe he could find out some sensitive info on GoldenEyes.
"I can't believe you're in here all alone. Mr. Kaiba should, like, hire some guards or something. I mean, someone tried to kill you, Miss Paoma!"
"He has. They're stationed everywhere. He told me they're plain-clothes, keeping watch in case the assailant tries to come finish me off."
"Really? Damn, he's smart. No wonder he can run his own company."
Jouno wanted to peek around the curtain and see just how fucked up Paoma was, but he didn't want to make his presence known just yet.
"Miss Paoma, I hope this isn't rude or anything, but there's something going on in my life right now that I'm dying to talk to someone about."
"I'd love to hear anything you have to say, Ezra."
So his name's Ezra! Jouno's ears perked as he listened for more.
"I… I think I'm in love with someone… He's really an incredible person."
"Do you want to tell me about him?"
"Well, ya know, I've always wanted a Japanese lover. And the moment I met him, I knew he was the one. He has these classic Japanese looks, and he's very sophisticated, and smart."
Sophisticated and smart? Is he talking about Kaiba? The hairs on Jouno's nape bristled.
"I've been trying to get close to him, but he's kind of hard to reach. He's always cold and aloof, and kinda snarky. He's rich and a little snobbish, and I feel so unworthy—"
Jouno yanked the curtain aside. "HEY!!"
Ezra was sitting cross-legged on Dr. Wong's bed. He looked up in shock.
Jouno closed in and glared into Ezra's golden eyes. "Kaiba's MINE, MotherFucker!"
"Huh?" He cowered away. Jouno grabbed Ezra by the collar and dragged him off of the bed, pulling him away and not noticing Dr. Wong's protests.
"Who the fuck do you think you are, huh? I never seen ya before, but you're stompin' all over my territory!"
Jouno felt something wet on his hands and realized Ezra was crying. He stopped shaking him and looked at his face. Tears were streaming from Ezra's eyes, but he wasn't fighting back or even trying to break free.
What the fuck is up with this guy? He's not puttin' up any sort of fight! Where's the fun in that? Gotta admit, though, he's pretty damn cute with tears welling up in those golden eyes.
Then the feeling passed, and Jou felt a pang of remorse. "I'm… sorry…"
Ezra wiped his face. "It's not Kaiba, okay? You probably never even heard of him, so just leave me alone."
Paoma called out, "Ezra, are you okay?"
At her voice, Ezra broke free, then ran and jumped onto Paoma's bed, hugging her, huddling against her for protection.
Jouno walked over, regarding Wong. He shrugged his eyebrows. "You look good, Doc."
"Mr. Wheeler, please come visit me tomorrow. I'd like to talk to you, but you've frightened and harmed my other patient. The best thing to do would be to leave for now, okay?"
"Yeah. Okay." He gave Ezra one last look. The boy was pretty cute. Cute like Ryou, or Seto, or Mokuba…
Jouno smiled. What a wonderful world. So many adorable fuck-holes around.
As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of Kaiba talking to the doctor. They didn't seem to have heard the scuffle from earlier, which was hard to believe.
He's probably just trying to play it cool, like always. Jouno smirked and sauntered over to him, dropping each footstep hard on the tile floor.
Kaiba and the doctor kept talking. Jouno smiled at Kaiba for a second, then leaned on him, rubbing his face against Kaiba's shoulder. Kaiba stopped for a moment, then kept talking without doing anything.
Once they'd finished talking and the doctor went on her way, Kaiba violently shook Jouno off of his arm. "Get away from me! What do you think you're doing?"
"I couldn't help but feel drawn to my master."
"Kaiba sighed, "Have you kept up with your meds?"
He suddenly took a step away. His response was too glib—"Yeah, of course." He half-turned and smiled at Kaiba over his shoulder, his chocolaty eyes glinting through his dirty blonde bangs.
They're so deep and beautiful, but there's something unsettling about those eyes. They don't look entirely human—they look somehow monstrous, or demonic.
Jouno started walking away. "Well, then, I guess I'll see you tonight."
"Wait!" Kaiba went after him. "What the hell do you mean, tonight?"
Jouno went through the door marked Stairwell. The stairs were concrete poured into metal frames. Jouno started down, every footfall echoing off the brick walls.
"What do you mean by tonight, Wheeler? If you come to my door, I'll have you arrested."
"Your courtship methods are rather odd, Mister Kaiba."
Kaiba grabbed Jouno by the shoulder and roughly turned him around. "Stay away from my house."
"Gimme a break, no one cares that much about their house. What you really mean is, 'Stay away from Mokuba'. All I did was hang out and watch a movie with him. Is there something I'm missing here?"
Kaiba grabbed Jouno and shoved him backwards into the wall. His body and head smashed into the brick wall. Kaiba then punched Jouno's face hard across the cheekbone, which sent his head backwards to bang against the wall again. His groans filled the stairwell. He tasted blood, and gulped. Kaiba was in his face, growling in his low, sexy voice.
"If you get anywhere near him, I'll have you locked up. All I have to do is say the word."
"If it were that easy, you woulda done it already."
He reached up with one hand and caressed Kaiba's face, watching the reaction in those deep blue eyes. "You've got to give in, Seto. I know you want me."
Kaiba placed his hand over Jouno's and left it there for almost a full minute. Then he pulled it away from his face and tossed it aside. Without another word, he turned and went back up the stairs.
By the time Bakura regained consciousness, it was dark. The sun had not set yet, but the sky was gray and overcast outside, and there were no lights on inside, making it hard to see anything.
Where am I?
Blinking, he tried to move and pain arose in his limbs, side and head. Every kick, slap and punch Ryou had dealt him was alive and pulsing in his skin, his muscles, and his bones. Maybe worse than the pain was the profound stiffness in his neck and right shoulder. He'd been sleeping with his head leaning over at an extreme angle all this time.
Bakura got to his feet slowly, his eyes adjusting to the gloom and allowing him to make out the foyer. The house was silent. Ryou had turned off the air conditioner to save on electricity, and then left.
He didn't take care of me. He just left me here, like a sack of trash…!
An approaching sound brought Bakura out of his thoughts.
Someone was coming up to the front door.
Sakuma San? Have I lost that much time?
Knocking, and an unexpected voice: "Hey Thief!"
The silver-haired thief shuffled to the door and opened it wide. Malik was smiling at first, but his expression became one of concern when he saw Bakura's somber countenance. "What happened to you, Bakura?"
Bakura shook his head.
Malik stepped into the foyer, closing the door behind him, and put a reassuring hand on Bakura's shoulder. "Do you want me to tell Sakuma San you can't make it? I could stay with you."
Bakura was at a complete loss. He needed Ryou, but he had no idea where Ryou was.
At every turn he makes it clear that he'll never love me… but I'll always be a prisoner to my love for him. This is agony…
"I don't feel like singing today."
"You don't have to if you're not up to it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. ShuChan and Sakuma San are both going to be there. Just kick back and listen to them. It'll be great."
Bakura looked into Malik's eyes. Malik looked back into Bakura's eyes.
If I tried to kiss him right now… would he let me…?
Although Bakura had been looking forward to another session with Sakuma, and could remember how much fun he'd had last time, Ryou was looming large in his mind, overshadowing everything else. He found himself lacking the motivation or strength to move from where he stood.
"Bakura? … Bakura?"
"… Should've taken me to the hospital. Could've at least patched me up."
"Who? Ryou?"
Malik gently put his arms around Bakura. Bakura didn't pull away.
"I'm sick of being in love with him. All this feeling does is bring me pain."
"Ryou's a rotten guy and a snob. He doesn't deserve the affection of someone like you."
Bakura gazed over Malik's shoulder at the cut-glass window in the door, a little mesmerized by the faint light playing on the uneven surfaces. I'm a thief and a murderer, a lying, scheming bastard. You'd think we'd be perfect for each other. "Tell them I couldn't make it."
Malik was still holding him close. Bakura could feel warmth coming off the Tomb Keeper's body. His eyes drifted closed without him willing or acknowledging, and ultimately not minding it.
"Malik… You feel so good…"
Bakura was started into opening his eyes when Malik pulled away. Bakura thought for a second that Malik was about to punch him or run off.
Instead, Malik caressed the side of Bakura's face, gazing into his eyes. There was such compassion in those lavender eyes. Bakura was drawn into a kiss with the Tomb Keeper.
It was so timid and gentle at first. Malik put his arms around Bakura's waist and drew him close, deepening the kiss. Bakura moaned softly at the first brush of Malik's tongue against his.
Their breathing came faster, their bodies became hotter. Malik led Bakura to the couch in front of the living room window, the same couch from which Bakura would gaze wistfully outside and watch Ryou's comings and goings. He gently pushed on Bakura's chest to make him sit down, then straddled him, kissing him again, caressing him. Bakura was startled and aroused when Malik rolled his hips against Bakura's. Bakura grunted, feeling the strain in his jeans. He didn't notice when it happened, but by now, all the pain— from his injuries, and the sorrow caused by the one who'd dealt those injuries— all of that was drowned out by a passionate desire for Malik and his wonderful body.
"Bakura," Malik breathed, "I want to make love to you."
Bakura froze. Malik stopped and looked at him. "Are you okay with me?"
"I… I don't know…"
"Do you not want me?"
"I do want you. It's just that... I sort of know how it works, but I've never done any of it…"
Malik smiled. "That's okay. I'll take care of you."
"Ezra, Mr. Kaiba and I need to discuss some confidential matters. You can't stay for that."
"Aww, but I just barely got here."
"It wouldn't be right for you to overhear personal things. I'll see you again tomorrow."
"Hey, how 'bout I go down to the cafeteria and grab a snack? By the time I come back, you'll probably be done talking, right?"
Paoma Wong smiled and patted Ezra lightly on the head. "If that's what you want to do, I'll see you in a short while."
Ezra hopped off the bed and took a few steps before suddenly stopping and turning around. "Hey, Mr. Kaiba?"
Seto looked at him, his eyes the usual cold, disinterested cerulean.
"That guy that was here earlier? He's got the hots for you. Like, bad. You shoulda heard him earlier. He was all like, 'Kaiba's MINE, Motherfucker!'"
Kaiba blanched. "Why the hell are you telling me this?"
Ezra shrugged. "Thought you'd like to know. I mean, I would. Someone loves you. You should be happy. Course, he did say 'Kaiba' and not 'Seto'… but what are the odds that he's in love with Mokuba? Ha!"
Seto clenched his fist. "Just get the hell out of here, Ezra!"
"Thank you."
Malik was leaning over Bakura. They'd finished, and now Malik was dabbing Bakura clean with a handful of tissue. He looked up at Bakura, a grin on his lips. "For what?"
For taking care of me the way Ryou used to. For making love to me. For looking at me the way you are right now.
Instead of saying anything, he caressed Malik's face, feeling the Egyptian's warm breath on his thumb. Malik closed his eyes, leaning into it, like a cat.
Malik kissed Bakura again, then laid back beside him, snuggling against his side. Bakura chuckled deep in his throat.
"What is it?"
"My whole body aches. Every time the pain wells up I can't help but laugh."
"I didn't think I was that rough."
Bakura remembered that Malik didn't know about Ryou's true nature. He stood up. "Let's go. I feel like singing."
"I will only say this, Kaiba San. If I believed Jouno Wheeler was becoming a genuine threat to himself or others, I would have him institutionalized straight away."
"So you don't think he's the one who attacked you?"
Paoma shook her head. "He has no reason to want to harm me."
Kaiba was sitting in a chair next to Paoma's bed, elbow resting on an armrest, forehead propped up on his hand, looking nonplussed.
"Care to tell me what you've got on your mind?"
"This guy… he's a pain in the ass."
"If it weren't for Jouno Wheeler, you could focus all your attention on running Kaiba Corp and pursuing your life goals. He's disrupting your plans because you have such a hard time ignoring him."
Kaiba looked up at her.
"Did I accurately paraphrase your thoughts?"
"Is it written on my face or something…?"
"You have feelings for him, but you don't think you can allow yourself to explore these feelings because of his past. You can't bring yourself to love someone who did such horrible things, even if he has no recollection of those events."
Seto looked away. He silently waited for Paoma to continue.
"You should keep in mind that Jouno Wheeler did not choose to become unwell. He did not choose the things he did while in altered mental states. It is possible to love someone while hating their illness."
Kaiba absentmindedly muttered something that sounded like I [love him]or it could've been Japanese, Ai (love)… but he stopped himself before he finished his thought.
chapter 11
NO REMORSE
finish
