Misdirection
Because sometimes the hardest thing to see is what's right in front of you
"Sam, why are there guys in giant black hats playing statue in front of my quarters?" The Captain waved his hands in the universal symbol for WTF? as he dropped into a chair at Giotto's table.
Sam glanced at Denise who was clamping her mouth shut, trying not to laugh. So much for letting the diplomat handle this. He took a sip of his drink to buy a moment to compose himself.
"Darnell and Flynn are receiving specialized training in how not to be distracted during guard duty, sir."
The Captain gave a frustrated huff. "Jim - how many times do I have to say that when we're off duty, it's Jim?"
Giotto smiled mildly. "It was a work-related question, Captain."
"Right." Kirk pinched the bridge of his nose. "How long are they going to be there?"
"Four weeks."
The Captain's eyebrows rose. "Four weeks?"
"The Captain was almost killed, Sam. I told you it should be longer." Denise had gotten her game face in place. If it weren't for the sparkle in her eyes, Sam would almost believe she was chiding him.
Giotto matched her neutral expression and raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps you were right, Lieutenant. I could always add a day each time they break character - that ought to add a week or so."
"That won't be necessary," Kirk said flatly. He looked from one to the other and narrowed his eyes. "Why do I get the feeling that Darnell and Flynn aren't the only ones meant to learn a lesson here?"
"Public examples are always meant to provide lessons for the whole crew," Giotto answered with complete sincerity. After all, he sincerely doubted than any of his other officers would ever be tempted to make the same the mistake. If the Captain also happened to learn something, well, he was part of the crew.
For once, Kirk seemed to be making the connection. He sat back and crossed his arms. "And I take it this is also supposed to be my punishment for letting her into my quarters."
"Hardly, sir." Giotto looked the Captain straight in the forehead. "I would never presume to discipline a superior officer."
"It only seemed appropriate for them to stand guard at your door, Captain," Denise added genially. "You deserved a front row seat since you're the one they endangered by thinking with the wrong heads."
Sam pressed his lips against a smile. It never ceased to amaze him what she could manage to say with a perfectly straight face.
Kirk opened his mouth to respond, but the Doctor appeared behind him and swatted him across the back of the head before he could speak.
"Shut up, Jim. You're going to be treated like an actual king for the next month – which is only fitting since you've got all the basic sense of inbred royalty." McCoy fixed Kirk with a get-a-clue-or-I'll-hypo-one-to-your-ass glare.
Kirk looked from the physician to Sam and Denise. A slightly worried look crossed his face. "I didn't just crash a date, did I?"
Sam chuckled. To imagine this as a date in any sense beyond a pre-arranged meeting would require a serious suspension of disbelief. "No, sir – just a discussion with my travel agent," he grinned. "Denise is going to help organize some tourists to make life interesting for your new guardsmen. You're certainly welcome to join in the planning."
"Seriously?" A mischievous smile broke across Kirk's face.
"Fun as that would be," McCoy said, hauling the Captain up by his biceps, "I came in here to find Jim because I need to have a word with him. We'll see ya'll later."
.
McCoy gave Jim a shove as soon as they got through the door. "I swear, Jim, you've got the social graces of a bull in a china shop."
"What? I wasn't interrupting anything but plans to make the show outside my quarters even more interesting."
The Doctor glanced back at two people laughing over a couple drinks. It was entirely possible that both of them thought that wasn't a date and it was just possible that Jessy was trying to throw him off the scent again by making her CO look like the target for whatever the coven had up their collective sleeves, but either way, letting Jim traipse through the middle things seemed like a bad idea. McCoy treated him to one of his better scowls. "And you knew that before plopping down at that table, did you?"
"Okay," Jim rolled his eyes. "Point taken. Now what did you need to talk to me about?"
"Well, other than the fact that you need a lesson in manners, I need you to do something about Riley. He keeps dropping into sickbay while Margolis is there for her treatments. I know he thinks he's trying to be supportive, but it's like having an over-eager puppy under foot and no matter how many times I chase him out, he keeps sliding back in the minute my back is turned."
Jim laughed. "If you can't scare him off, Bones, he's got it bad."
"Yeah, maybe, but Kathy starts repeating 'rule one' under her breath like a mantra every time he pops up. If you don't do something to put a leash on that puppy, she's going to snap and kick him." McCoy glowered. "Unless I do it first."
"You know what, Bones? You're a hypocrite." Jim wagged a finger at him, chuckling. "There's nothing whatsoever going on between Sam and Denise and you scold me for interrupting them, but poor Riley is willing to risk even your hypo-filled wrath to woo Margolis and you're asking me to interfere."
Bones crossed his arms and lifted a threatening eyebrow.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Send me her treatment schedule and I'll adjust Riley's duty roster to keep him occupied." Jim flashed a grin and tapped Bones on the chest. "But you are bitter man who seriously needs to get laid."
McCoy rolled his eyes and walked away. He smiled to himself - he'd be sure to mention that to Jessy the next time he got her alone.
AN: I hadn't meant to write this, but Jim insisted on getting to say something about having royal guards posted outside his quarters. That Riley has crush on Margolis is mentioned in 'Rule One' in the first set of Security Chief tales.
Please r&r
