Hey Arnold! Cafeteria Confessions:


CHAPTER 10 - Who we "really" are (Part 1)

The sun was setting and the sky was darkening. The weather was getting chillier and it started raining as she walked to the school. There was a rise in her walk, and an unprecedented sight, one that many students of PS 118 would never believe to see:

Helga was smiling.

She was in a good mood. She felt oddly happy despite only wearing her thin pink outfit, strangely indestructible despite her nature, and weirdly joyful despite Arnold revealing her personality to the cafeteria.

What was happening to her judgment? Wasn't she a pessimist? She couldn't help but think that stealing the tape was pointless. What was there to hide about her if she was going to reveal it anyway? Why was it a bad thing for people to know she was an amazing person?

Helga froze in place when she got to the front door. She couldn't believe she didn't think of it sooner. If people found that she had a kind heart, they would consider her weak and take advantage of her, like Arnold did: he brought up the FTI incident, he blurted that she loved him, and he had shown, on tape, to everyone, that she was not domineering.

If the confession was shown on television, he would have the upper hand: People would see her as a weak coward, as somebody who couldn't stick up for herself, and as somebody who was easy to manipulate. He would be the strong one, and she the weak one, and there was no way in Hell that she would have the class see her as vulnerable because of the subsequent ridicule she would face—the ridicule she had managed to avoid for the past nine years.

What was she thinking? That was not the way she wanted to start defining who she really was.

He had ruined things for her.

She opened the door and walked in. Her mind was so occupied, that she didn't assume she should've had a bit more trouble opening the door. She should have assumed it was locked, shouldn't have been unlocked, shouldn't have been able to push open, and should have been locked…

It was raining heavily and dark outside by the time he approached the school. His gait was menacing, and it was a frightening sight, one that many students of PS 118 would never believe to see:

Arnold was scowling.

He was in a bad mood. He felt angry for walking out in the present weather conditions with no umbrella or jacket, annoyed at everyone for expecting him to solve their problems, and impatient to get into the school and get out before being caught.

What was happening to his personality? Wasn't he an optimist? He couldn't help but think that the idea of stealing the tape was so good. There was a lot to hide about her if she wasn't going to reveal it, and what would the Cafeteria Confessions being shown on television do to their future relationship? He had no choice but to regress and do such a depraved thing; he had to steal the tape.

He stopped when he got to the top of the roof and blinked. He couldn't believe he didn't think of it sooner. If people saw what he did on that tape, they would see him as an enduring force, like Helga did: he had enjoyed bringing up the FTI incident, blurting out her love for him, and showing her that she wasn't in charge.

If the confession was shown on television, she would have the upper hand: People would see him in a distressed, assertive, and manipulative state. She would be the strong one, and he the weak one, and there was no way in Hell that he would have their friends see him as anything other than a problem solver. He was supposed to be perfect.

What was he thinking? That was not the way he wanted to start defining who he really was.

He had ruined things for them.

He opened the rooftop window and snuck in. His mind was so occupied, that he didn't assume that he could have tried using the front door, which he assumed was locked, shouldn't have been unlocked, shouldn't have been able to push open, and should have been locked…

She went up a stairwell from floor three; he went down a stairwell from floor four.
She looked in opened lockers and drawers; he looked behind office doors.
They searched the hallways and classrooms without any passes,
Until they crashed in the same stairwell and fell on their—

THUD!

Helga rubbed her back after she hit the ground painfully. She didn't bother looking up at whom she ran into, but instead, out of habit, shouted.

"Hey! Watch where you're going, Football Head!"

"You can see where I'm walking, so quit running into me all the time!" He wouldn't have yelled, but there was no denying his frustrations. He needed to take his pain out on somebody; she was there; she would understand; she was a tormentor. And he was aggravated to be soaked from the rain. Why was it she always popped up at the worst times?

She had to do a double take as she stood up to make sure it was him. She raised a confused eyebrow at the wet boy, and lowered her left hand to help him up. " Arnold?" she was a little concerned.

He stared as he grabbed her damp left hand with his wet right hand. He stood on the steps without letting go. He looked curiously into her eyes and moved closer, subconsciously. For some reason, his frustrations evaporated as he held her hand. Also, she looked awful from being soaked, so he couldn't help but feel sympathetic. He spoke in a tense, soft, and troubled voice: he needed to find out what was wrong. "Helga? Are you all right?"

Then, he wondered what was wrong with him for trying to help someone else, again

Her warning signals were going off; he was getting too close. She let go of his hand and stepped back with urgency. "What are you doing here?"

He put his hands on his hips. "What are you doing here?" He raised an eyebrow.

Helga's anger was rushing back with a vengeance. Why was he still having mood swings? They were nine, for crying out loud! She didn't understand why he would sneak into the school as she did. It was her future at stake, not his. "What do you think I'm doing here, bucko? I'm taking the tape before anyone else sees it!" How can he be so oblivious to his surroundings? What's wrong with him?

As he thought about the tape, his aggravation got the best of him, and he grabbed her shoulders and pinned her against the nearest wall. Maybe it was becoming habit, but he liked being forceful with her—er, no. She was getting him angry and he had to vent to somebody. Yes, that was the reason he was acting this way. "You can't be stealing the tape, because I'm stealing the tape!" He growled.

She couldn't help but wonder: was he going off the deep end? She wouldn't dare concentrate on how close he was getting. Not when all he wanted was to frustrate and manipulate her. He was acting just as he did earlier, and she didn't like it. One more act like that, and I'll kick that Football Head right off of ya!

She shoved him and he barely managed to catch himself before he fell down.

She screamed. "Why do you want the tape? You weren't the one who was called bluff in front of the whole cafeteria!"

"Don't you understand? I don't want people to see what I did!" He admitted and pointed at himself. "Everything I said was crazy!"

Helga blinked twice as her anger turned into confusion. She didn't know what to make of his statement as she moved toward him. "Wait a minute. Are you saying that everything you've said about me is crazy?"

Arnold blinked as he looked into her eyes. It was a wonderful thing that she couldn't understand him. He remembered the meeting they had at the safe house well. Maybe he could manipulate her this time; her love made her easier to deceive. He knew what was going on, but he couldn't tell her the truth.

So he would lie to her. He would make her think it was her identity he was worried about, and not his...

He put his hands behind him, and spoke. "Well." He nodded quickly. "Yes, it isn't true." He watched her eyes widen as he continued. "You're not compassionate, giving, thoughtful, or supportive. I thought you knew that. I can't let anyone see you as someone you're not, because it would hurt you. I have to steal the tape." He smirked. She would take the bait.

There was dead silence for a long time as she stared at him. Her eyes widened more. The way he worded what he said. What he said to her. It sounded completely ridiculous. She just wanted to understand him. She was trying to grasp his thoughts and motives…

Once she did, she let out a loud girlish scream, making him cringe with fright…

She wasn't about to let him get away with it; he lied to her. He was taking advantage of her and continuing to manipulate her. He believed she wanted to be labeled as a tormentor, so he denied everything he said earlier. Why would he go along with everything she said? Why would he believe she was insensitive after confronting her and stating she wasn't? It made no sense.

Helga raised an eyebrow and put her right hand on her hip. "You've got to be kidding."

Arnold only shook his head.

She stared, flabbergasted. "You believe I'm coldhearted, aggressive, and ignorant after what you did?" She pointed at herself. "You're denying that I'm an intelligent person after you forcefully admitted I hide behind masks?" Her scowl darkened as she continued. "You're going to steal the tape to protect my pride? You snuck in because you don't think I can do it? Fat chance!" She stomped towards him angrily. She lifted him against the wall, and he gasped in surprise. She was ready to punch him at any given moment. She whispered harshly. "Don't you know who I am?"

Arnold was feeling lightheaded as he stared at her hardened eyes. "W—who are you?"

Helga dropped him and looked down at his frightened figure. "I'm Helga G. Pataki. Your fifth grade arch-nemesis. If I'm so terrible, why do you think people haven't adopted that attitude?" She raised her arms at him and screamed. "Why can't you see what's right in front of you?" she breathed deeply as he backed against the wall. "You fool. You know I've played the aggressor for years!" She paced around. "Why would I risk having others see me as anything else? And why would you suddenly change your opinions on who I am?" she stopped and turned to him, putting her hands on her hips angrily. "If you really believed I was so tough, wouldn't you believe that I could steal the tape myself?"

He was more than a little frightened, but kind of satisfied. He finally got her to admit who she really was, with no intention of forcing her to. He lost his mind, but it looked like she was losing her mind too. He shouldn't have tried to manipulate her feelings, but she loved him so she was kind of an easy target. At least he knew she wasn't using the tape for educational purposes. He decided to hide his relief so she wouldn't worry nor suspect that anything was wrong with him. Arnold stood and raised an eyebrow. "Okay, then. Why are you so worried about exposing your other side to everyone?" He had to know.

This time, her eyes met his as she cornered him out.

Just exactly what was he talking about…?

Helga felt the temptation to get even from his constant confrontations about her personality. She raised an eyebrow. "My other side? My other side? What other side?" She started to pace around again. "Being defenseless as I let you take advantage of me? Turning the other cheek while you acted out immorally?" She stepped in front of him with a smug smile. "Quite the contrary. I wasn't the one that showed another side of myself. You confronted me assertively, Football Head. You pushed me again the wall aggressively, and you flirted with me obsessively," she crossed her arms as his eyes widened. "I didn't do anything except back away and say that you were crazy. Which, I might add, you are."

Arnold gulped nervously and stepped back. S—she knows!

He was able to hide his hands behind him so she wouldn't see him fidget, but he was unable to stop the blush that crept onto his face. He looked down quickly, and whispered with embarrassment. "I—I'm not crazy, I'm just stressed."

"Yeah, right!" She rolled her eyes as she stepped forward.

He stepped back.

Helga blinked at his hesitance, looked around to make sure nobody was watching, and stepped forward to grab his chin, before he could protest. She looked into his fragile, frightened green eyes; they told her everything.

She whispered harshly. "Why did you act out immorally with me today? Either you're really crazy, or you're not telling the truth!"

He felt like admitting all the problems he was trying to solve. He was sick of not venting his frustrations. And the closer she was to him, the more comfortable he felt. "Ooh," He grabbed her shoulders and pleaded for mercy. "What's up with you, Pataki? You're supposed to be working with me, not trying to teach me integrity!"

She let go of his chin and stared, baffled. "Huh?"

He held onto her shoulder tightly, afraid she would leave. He took a deep breath to stay calm, and looked into her eyes. "I didn't mean to act crazy in the cafeteria. I know people hide things to protect themselves, and I understand the reasons you hide your identity, so why don't you open up to everyone else? Just a little. For me?" He gripped her shoulders tighter and stared with a begging expression. "I love your passionate, kind, and supportive side. I would love to see more of it—"

She pushed him away because she had to, but deep down, she was flattered. Those were compliments about her inner personality. And from Arnold? He liked her passionate, kind, and supportive side?

Nobody said that about her. Nobody noticed she could do a kind deed because she cared. Nobody wanted to know about the snow boots she gave away for Arnold, or the 'insult free' evenings she spent with Phoebe. It was obvious when she was 'it girl' last spring, and it was obvious at school when she played sports. Nobody wanted to know she had a heart. People didn't care. Her whole identity was based on her insensitive side. Her family wouldn't notice her if she was nice, so why be passionate if forced to be nasty and uncaring…

Maybe because Arnold likes that side of me.

She contemplated for a moment revealing her kind hearted side, and then blinked.

He turned the tables on her; the conversation was about him and he was switching the subject around to her…!

She smiled slyly. She caught him this time. Yet, she was vain. She couldn't help but agree with what he said. "Football Head, I admire you," She grinned and put her hands behind her. "But I was talking about you. You don't tell me about everything that goes on in your life, so why should I tell you about mine?" She raised her left hand in gesture. "You listen to people's problems more than you talk about your own. Are you burying your problems beneath theirs? Are you oblivious to your surroundings because you don't want to see the truth?" She put her hands on her hips. "Come on, fess up." she smiled slightly. She had to know if what she believed for months was correct.

He looked away as his heart beat faster. H—how can she see that in me…?

Arnold was frightened at her questioning, yet he liked it… Oh, who was he kidding? He couldn't tell her that! He couldn't tell her everything about him.

She would think he was crazy.

He spoke urgently. "I don't want to talk about this—"

"But don't you see?" Helga smiled slyly. "This is exactly what you do to me!" She wrapped her arm around his in the same fashion he did when she faked amnesia. He gave her a raised eyebrow as she smirked. She started to walk down the hallway with him. "Come on, Football Head. I've shown you who I am more than anyone else, and you know there's another side of me. You didn't deny it on the FTI building, and the cafeteria confessions only helped me see my potential. You've told me it isn't good to hide my heart, so why are you hiding yours? Can't you see lying is doing nothing for our relationship?" She lowered her voice and turned to him. "Nobody can be that nice, not even you. Quit faking it! Tell me what's wrong!" When he hesitated to answer, she whispered urgently. "If you're the problem solver, why can't you answer—?"

He gasped as he had a realization and pulled away from her. He ran up the steps quickly, hoping she wouldn't confront him about his personality.

She was surprised to see him trying to escape her, and confused at his hesitance. "Huh? H—hey, wait up?" She ran up the steps to confront him about his personality.

They passed all the fourth grade classrooms, the janitor's closet, and Principal Wartz's office—that was wide opened—until they reached the Cafeteria all the way down.

Helga stopped and looked around until realizing he could only go forward. Doing so, she looked around for him: under the tables, behind the lunch carts, and around the trashcans. She stopped walking and blinked as she turned toward the lunch line entrance. There he was.

Arnold was looking out from her left side, in the lunch line. He looked like a child that was about to be disciplined.

"Football Head?" Helga raised a confused eyebrow and placed her right hand on her hip. She stayed where she was and watched him curiously. She wanted to know him inside out. She needed to learn about his fears, weaknesses, and secrets. The only part of his personality she usually saw was his giving and caring side. She knew he wasn't perfect. There were a few times she had seen his flaws, and in the end, she liked it. But his 'do-goodie nature' had canceled it out almost every time.

Arnold held his right arm toward her and closed his eyes in pain, stating dramatically. "Get me out of here. Take me away from this world and the roles we play." Oh, how he wished he were anyone else. Even her.

She was silent.

He stared at her as if he were afraid, but of what…?

Arnold walked out in the open. "I really didn't want to let your secret out. It was a complete accident. And even though I know I really hurt you and embarrass you," he sighed, "I'm just really sorry." He walked over to the nearest table and began to trace the wooden material with his finger, nervously. He wanted to give her more leeway, but he couldn't. He looked back up at her. "I understand your hidden ways now, but I can't tell you about mine. You would know my weaknesses. You can trust me, but how could I trust you after all the pranks you've played on me? How could I live if my secrets got out?" He sat down at the table with a sigh. "And would my confessions mean anything to you? Would they stay between us, or would you tell everyone in order to humiliate me? I trust your sincerity, Helga, but if you want me to be vulnerable with you, you need to be yourself." he narrowed his eyes, daringly.

Helga gasped. Oh, how sneaky he was. She felt like slapping him for his sly act, and she could only stare.

He knew she loved him. He knew she wanted to get to know him better. He knew it was only them in the school. What's more, she was intrigued with the way he was acting: opposite of how he usually did and she needed to know why.

She wanted to learn what he hid from the world. She wanted to learn about his vulnerable side. And all she had to do was open up to get it. So, she would be herself. She hesitantly walked over and sat next to him. She nervously placed her left hand on top of his right. He looked questionably at her, and she couldn't believe what she was about to address.

The truth…

He felt his heart beat increase when she spoke in an affectionate tone.

"I wouldn't reveal you. If you blabbed your heart to me and I told everyone your feelings, people would see us differently. I'm not about to make things more complicated. And after the recent events in the safe house, how could I live if you didn't trust me? It's hard to bare our hearts to anybody in this world since our weaknesses are exposed. You know that." Helga looked deeply into his green eyes as she traced her thumb on the top of his hand. She was feeling less nervous with being open when no one was around. "You can bare your weaknesses to me, though. I won't mock you. I won't embarrass you and advertise them for the world to see. I know how it is to be the center of attention, and frankly, I hate it! I understand your concerns, Arnold-o, because I couldn't handle it if the class saw me holding your hand and listening to your problems. They would think I was crazy. In truth, they're crazy." She sighed, laid her head on the table, and faced him, still holding his hand. "Who really knows me, anyway? Only you and Phoebs, that's who." He nodded understandably. "People like me hide behind masks. I care about you, and if you keep living for everyone else, you'll never be cured. People need to vent themselves to somebody, and we both don't even have parents, so…" She stopped her monologue and chuckled slightly at her suggestion.

Arnold looked like he was going to cry. He laid his head down on the table, facing her with a sad expression.

She turned her head both ways slightly, and re-checked that nobody was in the lunchroom—then wondered why—before she moved closer to him, still holding his hand tightly.

He trembled lightly when she moved closer.

"Yes, Arnold," She nodded, rolling her eyes slightly. "We can admit our flaws to each other and be ourselves. We can't trust anybody with our secrets, but we can trust each other, right?" She was trying to be a comfort for him, at least as comforting as Helga G Pataki could be.

He was confused. Her stubborn persistence was too much for him. Yet, she sounded sarcastic. But, she was still holding his hand. Wait a minute, was she even being sincere? He decided to test the water to see. He sat his head up and raised an eyebrow. He let go of her hand. "How can you trust me after all I have put you through in the last few months? And how will you trust me after all I'll put you through later?"

She sat her head up and stared at him. Great. He was already warning her, but of what? She shrugged and tried to be more open. "I dunno. I figure my love canceled all your manipulative actions," Helga subconsciously looked manipulatively into his eyes. She wasn't about to admit she liked the way he was acting, even though she did.

He nodded in an understanding way. He was getting drawn into her gaze, quickly.

He threw his arms around her without another thought. She admitted she loved him unconditionally, but also said she didn't mind if he broke down; she really loved him. He felt unexpectedly connected to her. In her eyes, he was valued and loved. Tears were coming to his eyes, but he held them back. Arnold didn't understand why he was trying to hide his worry and pain. She cared and he didn't want her to worry. Though, he knew she wouldn't let him fall. She would get him to admit anything now. "Helga, have I ever told you," he sniffed. "You have a way with words." He choked slightly as he held himself back.

Concern overtook her previous thoughts of pushing him away. They were alone, so she held him closer. She couldn't concentrate on the wonderful smell of his hair when he was vulnerable. He must need as much attention as she did. She would make sure he received it. She could feel him holding back tears, but why? She didn't want to see her love cry. What upset him this deeply?

Her voice was feeble, yet desperate. "Tell me what's wrong."

He was silent for a moment as he held onto her. What was happening with him? Why did he almost break down? How did she manage to calm him with a simple hug? He blinked to himself. W—what's she doing to me? Why do I feel so comfortable around her all of a sudden? Can Helga really calm me down?

He didn't understand it. What he did understand was he needed to change the subject. He didn't like anyone—especially the girl who loved him—to see him so weak. Not the problem solver. Not Mr. Perfect. He didn't want her getting too close, either. Strange things happened when she was too close. He didn't want to think about it. He said and grabbed her right hand with his left to hold onto her as he stood from the table. Her arm around his shoulders felt relieving for him, somehow.

He stood up from the chair. "Fine," he said stubbornly. "You got me. It's just…" he sighed and turned away from her penetrating gaze. "It's just that, I've been solving everybody's problems and nothing's working out. Why do I put all this pressure on my shoulders? I've been thinking about letting it all go, but I don't know how." He turned away shamefully.

Before he could ponder anymore, Principal Wartz walked out of his office next door and into the cafeteria because of the noise. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed the two kids that were seated next to each other at one of the tables. It was nearly eleven o clock at night.

The kids turned around and looked surprised, yet worried at their principal being there. Arnold held onto Helga's shoulders from behind as Helga stared at Principal Wartz with wide eyes.

Principal Wartz was confused they were at the school so late, and approached them to ask why they were screaming. "What are you two talking about? Actually, what are you two doing on school grounds at this hour?" He was ready to suspend them. After all, no one was there to accuse him of being too harsh, even though he didn't think he was.

Helga turned red. She was incredibly nervous. Arnold was having mood swing and now, their principal had caught them talking together in the middle of the night.

What have they been doing all night? They certainly haven't been looking for the tape.

She grinned nervously. "Well, um-"

"We forgot our homework assignments, and we thought we would find them in the cafeteria." He lied, and continued, deciding to revert back into 'Mr Perfect' for the time being. "Principal Wartz. What are you doing here this late? You know you're setting a bad example for children like us by, uh…" He looked closely at him to notice in his hands he had two Barbie dolls. He forgot the purpose of the sly conversation he started, and he put his right hand on his hip. "You're playing around with Barbie dolls, Principal Wartz?" he raised an eyebrow.

Principal Wartz pulled at his collar nervously "Oh, these? Heh, they're nothing." Wartz pulled a brown paper bag out of his pocket and began stuffing them nervously into it. "Actually, I should be getting home right now. My wife and children should be waiting for me." He ran out of the cafeteria.

Arnold looked down at Helga, as she looked up at him. They both raised their eyebrows at the same time, a little confused.

She changed her expression when she remembered that Arnold lied. She smirked as she stood up to stand beside him. "We forgot our homework assignments?" She was impressed.

He couldn't help but smirk as well. "I think you're rubbing off on me."

"About time!" She nudged his right shoulder playfully in the same fashion she did when they were presenting their baby chick to the class. She rolled her eyes and grinned at his scowling face. Oh, how she liked to get him aggravated. She liked to his sarcastic side once in awhile. Why did she like his sarcastic side? It was beyond her knowledge. "What were we talking about, anyway?"

He raised his arms and said sarcastically. "Oh, I don't know." He turned around to walk away from her. He hated being hit on when he wasn't in the mood. He needed to reorder his thoughts, but she was distracting him and even following him. He turned around to her and she stopped. "I think we were going to steal the tapes, but then you started analyzing my personality and—" He blinked in realization. "W—wait a minute. You were analyzing my personality? What gives? What is there to analyze about me?"

She stepped back and grinned wide as his aggression fueled up again. Heh. Oh, yeah. That's what we were doing…

"What about your personality, huh?" He began to walk toward her, fast.

She felt like running away and playing hide and seek with him. She backed against the nearest wall and started to become frightened. She looked in all different directions as he cornered her again. "H—huh? I—I don't know what you're talking about." Criminy, not again! Why does he like to interpret me? Does he like to push my buttons or something?

He felt a lot more relaxed now that he was interrogating her. "Yes, you do, Helga! I know you're not all hate, and you told me I was right. You're supportive, caring, giving, and thoughtful. You hide it behind your bully-ism because you don't want everyone to know you love me, and most important, you don't want to face the ridicule and embarrassment if you did have a kind heart. How would you reveal yourself? And don't try to deny it, because I know it's all true!"

She was stunned. "How can you see that in me?"

Arnold pointed at her. "I know what you did when you gave me the money for the float. You were being caring and supportive. I've figured out what you did last Christmas. You were giving and thoughtful. I know you've helped me save the neighborhood privately, and you've shown me your true colors by listening to me in the cafeteria. You've given me a big speech on being up front, and you've helped me solve my own problems. You're not so masked! You even admitted tonight you've been hiding behind masks. I know you, Pataki." He smirked.

Oh, he was a sneaky one alright. He just hid it most of the time.

H...How did he know what I did last Christmas...! Helga was surprised with his hidden slyness about everything. Although she kind of admired his hidden slyness, even though it frightened her.

He noticed her silence and blocked out her voice when she began to speak. He started daydreaming, something he thought he forgot how to do. He found her fear of him funny. Usually he was the one who was frightened of her. He liked the role reversal. Then again, he couldn't forget when they worked together on that egg project and he yelled at her the whole time, or April Fools Day, where he manipulated her emotions and scared her to death during the tango. There were times in their past when their roles have—

"Hey, hair-boy! What's the deal? Are you even listening to me?" She pointed a accusing finger at him. "Quit daydreaming!"

Arnold put his hands on his hips as he started to talk down the hallway. "You know, I just thought of something. Along the road, haven't there been times we've collided?"

She laughed slightly as she walked into Principal Wartz's office after him. She turned to him swiftly and held her hands in the air. "Of course! Every time I'm walking around and you won't get the heck out of my way—"

"No. That's not what I meant." He narrowed his eyes as he walked closer to her. He stared her down. Behind the mask Helga wore was the reason he was interested in her. She made mistakes and he could see what she hid because of the mistakes he made. He was intrigued by her because he saw his weaknesses through her disguises. There was always something about her aggressive personality and sarcastic attitude that was significant. Arnold could relate to her naturally. He understood exactly where she was coming from, and it made him feel the need to get to know more about her.

She was frightened. He was staring at her as if she had nothing on. "W—why are you giving me that look?"

"Something was different with our relationship back then. I challenged Wolfgang to a game of football and you came up with all the strategies. I saved Mighty Pete by climbing up the tree and you went with me. Our friendship was different when you gave me a push to look on the bright side during Thanksgiving, and it was different during Halloween, when you and the others helped me pull a prank on the boarders. Do you see it? Do you see the change?" He asked desperately.

"What are you getting at?" She stared at him sideways. Oh, she saw it alright. She saw her love had gone crazy.

Everything he said sounded backwards. He challenged somebody to a game and she helped him form strategies? He risked his life and she went along with him? He was down in the dumps and she encouraged him? He sent the city into a panic and she was only part of the plan? He was doing the wrong thing and she was doing the right thing? But she was being herself when she was with him. If he hadn't managed to confuse her yet, he confused her now. But wait, did that have something to do with him knowing who she really was? Because he had once, indeed, been her—

She gasped as Arnold smirked at her the same way she usually did. Y'know, I may never look at the boy the same again.

Helga stuttered. "But—but you're making it look as though I'm you and you're me!" She had to make sure that what he was saying was true. After all, it wasn't everyday Arnold confessed he was an awful person.

Arnold nodded. "Yes. That's exactly my point."

Helga tried to speak, but found she had no words.

He noticed her hesitance and her confused stare, so he continued, "I can see your hidden ways because I used to do the same thing you do. I know how your personality works because we have common characteristics. I had an aggressive and sarcastic side in the past." He noticed a camera recording them across from Wartz's desk, and made his way over to it. "Unfortunately, I did awful things before I started solving problems. I helped everyone try to get rid of Mr. Simmons, I opened my mouth and told Harold that Gerald knew how to ride a bike when he didn't, and I took advantage of Sid when he dedicated his life to me." He removed the tape from the camcorder and turned back to her. "I only did the right thing a few times, then. Once, I recall, was when I got Nadine and Rhonda to become best friends again. But, that was tricky." He changed the subject and faked a smile. "A—Anyway, the reason I'm bringing this up is because we always worked together on ideas and projects, and we seemed to relate and understand each other better. I always liked the times we—"

"You're ten years old, and you're a kid!"" She watched him curiously and ignored his last statements. Why did he think he needed to be perfect to gain approval? She didn't want him to be like her family; like Olga; like Lila. And she didn't want him to fake happiness. Wasn't he always telling everyone to be themselves…?

Then, her eyes widened in realization: Is he ever himself?

Arnold nervously played with the mini cassette tape in his hands. He avoided her eyes as he continued. "Maybe I used to be a kid, but not anymore…"

Helga gently urged him to explain. "Why?"

He sighed as he put his hands and the messed up cassette tape behind him to hide it, slowly tearing it apart. He looked into her eyes. "I've learned the hard way I'm supposed to act mature. I'm supposed to solve everyone's problems. I'm supposed to make sure all the boarders get along. I have to be sure no one in our class is going through a crisis. It's my job. If I don't help them, they can't solve their own problems. You know how long I've been helping others? I've been helping others so long I don't know what would happen if I stopped—"

"I never knew you were addicted to solving problems." Helga scowled and grabbed his arm roughly to take the torn up cassette tape from him, and placed it on Wartz's desk. She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms at his nervous expression. "What's happened to you? What happened to the guy who learned Karate and shoved Eugene into a locker? What happened to the one who took out his frustrations on the Jolly Ollie Man? What about that time you hung out with Frankie G?"

Arnold sighed. "That's how I acted when I was immature. It's not who I really am—"

"And what if I told you it was?" She positively beamed. For the first time in her life, she finally understood why he felt the need to help others and learn more about her. He didn't want to face reality and know who he really was.

Right then, she made a vow. He needed to quit helping others. He wasn't living his life when he solved problems; he was living life through the problems he solved. Currently, he was cautious and guarded. Previously, he was an adventurer and a risk taker. Before he dedicated his life to solving problems, they were rivals (Helga), yet they were teammates ( Arnold). They were competitors (H), yet they were colleagues (A). They balanced each other out, yet they collided from what they had in common. There were times in the past when they were so close, they could predict each other's reactions, and even react the same way, with no intention of doing so. They were themselves with no disguises. No hidden motives. No distractions. And when they gave into who they really were, they could do anything.

Maybe even start a committed relationship.

She became interested to see the real him. Maybe he would fall in love with her. She took his shoulders and shook him excitedly. "I've got to see the real you again. The one I saw when we competed against each other—!"

"Helga, stop it! You're making me dizzy!"

She stopped shaking him, but didn't let go of his shoulders. "Come on, Arnold-o. Take a stand! Be a kid! Make mistakes!" She grinned as he gave her a dangerous look. "And it's part of your personality, right?" She leaned over and whispered in his right ear. "Why are you solving problems to hide who you really are?"

Arnold stumbled back a bit and looked into her eyes. "I'm solving problems to hide my personality?" He couldn't believe somebody would accuse him of such a thing. "That's ridiculous!" He took her arms to remove her hands from his shoulders and turned away, stubbornly and crossed his arms. "I help others because I want to, not because I'm forced to—"

She shouted, "You just said you're supposed to solve everyone's problems! You even told me in the safehouse you were forced to!"

He turned around to yell back at her. "Oh yeah?" He defended himself. "Well—well, some people may have nobody to turn to. Some people may have serious problems," He fidgeted slightly. "M—my parents helped others all the time and I need to follow in their footsteps, so I have to—"

"Oh, brother! Those are all excuses! Did you bribe yourself into believing that crap? Don't try and tell me I can't see it!" Helga walked over to Principal Wartz's chair and sat down. She took a pencil that was lying on the desk and twisted it around to calm her nerves before continuing. "The only reason you solve problems is to hide your own. I do the same thing being a bully; I exaggerate my imperfections and shove everyone around so no one will know I'm weak." She put her feet up on the desk and continued to fiddle with the pencil in her hands. The pencil was so smooth, and she was thinking about biting it.

Arnold turned away from looking at her and crossed his arms. He could feel his cheeks light up as he knew that she was right.

Helga continued. "You always look at feelings when you solve problems, but do you ever look at your own? You've had many problems since you've started and not one of them has been yours. You don't want anybody to know you're not perfect, so you'll continue seeing the flaws in everyone else, and you'll never admit you're afraid to let them see your real side. Look at the way you're acting with me?"

He quit crossing his arms to hide his frustration. Now, she thinks I'm hiding behind a mask? What is she doing? Trying to counteract me?

He spoke in a steady voice and looked at her. "I appreciate you trying to convince me that I'm inflicting problems on myself by helping, and I appreciate your help." He rolled his eyes. "But I only solve problems because it's what my parents and grandparents want me to do, and I like helping people. I'm a sociable person and I love to see the end result of a problem solved. It makes me feel good about myself and others. It's not because I'm addicted to it or because I'm trying to hide anything." He held his right hand to his chest. "It's because I like doing it and it's who I really am—"

"No!" She stood up to point at him with the pencil, making him freeze. "It's who you think you are!" She walked over to him with her hands behind her back. "We're talking on friendly terms here, so let's be honest. If the real me is compassionate, giving, thoughtful, and supportive, what makes you think the real you is so much like me?"

Arnold raised an eyebrow at her and crossed his arms again. He was wondering where she was going with the conversation...
She stopped in front of Wartz's desk, smacked her hands against the wooden material, and grinned down evilly at him. "I dare you to deny the truth. I dare you to deny that behind the mask, the real you is manipulative, aggressive, and JUST PLAIN CRAZY!"

"I AM NOT!" He stood up and grabbed the Cafeteria Confessions tape on Wartz's desk—without realizing it was that tape—and threw it at Helga.
Helga gasped and ducked under the desk, so the tape wouldn't hit her. It hit the wall instead and broke in pieces.

He huffed and tried to force himself to continue his statement, but his strength had been spent trying to fix everyone's problems that week. Not to mention he just tried to hit Helga with a cassette tape. That was pretty crazy in itself.

He would give into her theory…at least for now. He didn't have much of a life outside of solving problems, anyway. And when he didn't help, he did act kind of crazy. He hung his head, dropped himself into the chair beside Wartz's desk again, and sighed with defeat. "Fine, Helga. I'm myself when I act like a lunatic. Whatever you say," He repeated.

She was a little shaken up from him throwing a tape at her, but thankfully, the Great Arnold had finally been broken of his fake act.

Helga managed to make her way over to Wartz's chair again to sit in front of him. It was time for her to have a personal meeting with him. He needed help just like any other student at P.S 118. She would play it cool. She put her hands together on the desk. "Good! And since we're on the same page, I'm wondering if you wouldn't mind doing a small trade."

He was in no mood to communicate. He sat down in the students chair in front of Principal Wartz's desk and crossed his arms. "What kind of trade?"

"It's not much, just—" Helga paused a moment to reword her response. She put her hands on her chest and addressed herself to him. "You've always wanted to know what's behind the mask, right?" She pointed at him. "If you're willing to let me see who you really are behind solving problems," She pointed at herself. "I'll show you who I really am behind my bully-ism." She got up from Wartz's chair to pace around the room a little nervously.

Arnold had to admit. He really wanted to know who she really was. "It sounds like a good idea, but do you really want to see the real me?"

She stared at the 'Hang In There' poster behind Wartz's desk. She would hang in there if it would help him. She closed her eyes and admitted in almost a whisper. "He drives me crazy too, and I love it…"

He stared at her back and wondered what she was mumbling about. He put his left hand on his chin in thought, and blinked. "Wait. What about the others? If I go crazy, who will help everyone with their problems? Who will they go to?"

Helga turned to him and nodded. He was right. If he was himself, he would be manipulative, aggressive, and crazy. He couldn't help anyone with those traits. But if she were herself, she would be compassionate, giving, thoughtful, and supportive, like him, which would mean.

She smiled shyly at him and put her hands behind her innocently. "Me. Let me solve their problems."

He was silent as his thoughts ran wild at wild memories. "You know, you're probably the last person that should be giving advice to our class."

She shrugged. "Forget the last time I tried to help the class. I can be everything you've said about me, but you've got to give me room to try." If the real me is like the fake you, I could probably do it better too, bucko!

He protested. "Helga—"

"Solving problems has been giving you heartache for a long time, and I know how people hide themselves, so why can't I take your place?" She paced around excitedly. I can gain his affections; I can make him fall in love with me...!

He stood up abruptly. "Helga—!"

"Hey!" She stopped and pointed at him. "You didn't know how to give advice before you started! You had to learn! And you've just proved to me that you've made mistakes along the way! Don't even think I can't give advice!"

And risk more chaos for everyone, without a safety net? He turned to stomp out of the office and raised his arms, yelling to her. "You don't know the first thing about giving advice! Our whole class turned upside cause of you, Pigtails, and—"

She grabbed his nearest arm before he could escape her, turning him around to look at her. "And you couldn't give advice if your grandparents, your best friend, or your peers depended on it! All you tell people half of the time is to talk things out. You know talking doesn't solve everything, bucko!"

He breathed deeply and said in a choked up whisper. "I can't do this. I'm not giving up my responsibilities to you." What would happen to me?

"I'm not taking your job away; I'm giving up everything I've known myself to be to help you, so why won't you do the same? Do you think my bully-ism or people skills matter after I've learned that you're so mentally sick? Of course not! Don't you remember the time I helped you save the neighborhood? What else would I do if you were in trouble? Let you be defeated?" She gently grabbed his hands reassuringly. "I'm giving you a chance at freedom, my friend. I'm giving you the time to learn, discover, and embrace who you really are. Heck, I'm giving you a chance to learn who I am. Aren't you going to take those opportunities?" To finally stop acting, and to be real with each other! I'll love the real you and you'll love the real me. We'll grow closer. Come on, pal, you've always wanted to know who I am!

He was terrified. If she knew him, wouldn't she know how alone he'd feel without helping others? "I—I don't know if I can do this for you!" Or to you, if your real self is as wonderful as you say it is, and my real self is as bad as you think it is. "Aren't you scared?"

Curse him for seeing right through me! "Scared? Of what?" she pulled yet another evasive answer as she paced around the office. "I've been teased, mocked and jeered at my entire life. What more do I have to be frightened of? People won't know I'm being myself by helping them. And if I'm helping you, then of course it's worth it!" She stopped pacing and faked a smile at him. "Let me thank you for all the support you've given me in the past."

He was very skeptical. Her intentions were good, but misplaced. If she wanted to be herself, that was great! But why did he have to go along for the ride? It felt so unfair. "But will they turn to you after the way you've treated all of us? You're going to need training to get people to trust you, or else you're not going to help anyone."

"I—I'm willing to go through anything. And if I can solve problems now without opening up completely, maybe later, I can open up without risking the ridicule." She looked at him suggestively, and held out her left hand in a hope he would shake it in agreement.

"Well, um—" His heart started racing for some reason. He had no comeback for that. If he let her solve problems, she could reveal her real self later. Why would he throw away the chance to learn more about her, even if he was involved in the secret plan…?

All he ever wanted from her was for her to be herself...

She was a devilish one. She had him exactly where she wanted him. Then again, seeing her real self was all he ever wanted from her…
He narrowed his eyes and put his right hand on his hip. "Have I told you lately that you're absolutely insane?"

"So are you." And you know I'm right!

"All right." Arnold looked down at her left hand. He was feeling a little apprehensive about the giving of himself to her, but if she was giving of herself to him, he would do it. He grabbed her hand in agreement. "I really want to see your true colors, so I guess I'm willing to let you solve these problems instead."

Helga almost shouted with glee: Yes! Maybe now we can grow closer and you'll finally figure out your feelings for me! Without anybody knowing what's going on, it's perfect...

He thought many new things as he shook her hand: Will the real you be what I've always said it would be? Is the real you able to do all I've done? Will my parents and grandparents be proud of you, even if yours don't know what's going on? That last thought hit him like a ton of bricks. He had envied her, ever so slightly, for having parents, albeit neglectful ones. Maybe now she'll have the chance to feel what I've always felt. Being accepted by other people. But then, who will accept me if I don't help others?

Helga walked to his left and put a comforting arm around his shoulders. "You'll have fewer things to worry about! This is a benefit to you—!"

"No, it isn't." Arnold looked into her eyes. He was already beginning to feel hopeless. "I love helping people. That's all I know about myself. I'm not sure how I'm going to act around others when I don't solve problem, but I do know I don't feel too great about it now." Taking risks is scary, especially when faced with the unknown. If this fails, I'll never forgive myself, but who will help her if this blows up in our faces? Maybe not because of anything she does wrong, which can be fixed, but who will correct my failures…?

Helga sighed at how her love was looking so negatively at things. She desperately wanted to hug him close and show him what he was doing was the 'right thing'.

Oh, Arnold…

He noticed her concerned look and managed to fake a smile. He didn't want her to worry, so he tried to think positively. "Don't worry about me. I'm releasing every one of the problems I've received, so I guess I'll be okay. It's just that," He rubbed his neck nervously as she took her arm off his shoulders. "I'm giving you a lot of responsibilities here, and I'm only doing this because I really want to see who you really are. I trust you to show me your true colors by helping others. If you want to prove your trust to me, this is the way to do it."

"Then the way you can prove your trust to me is to stay out of this!" Don't think I can't see through you, bucko!

He was shocked. What? No interference? No giving tips or recommendations?

Helga touched his shoulders affectionately. She didn't mean to sound like a bully. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be difficult, it's just that," It was her turn to rub her neck nervously. "You may not know who you are, but I know you're persistent. You're giving away your mask for me, so if you're going to stop solving problems, stop. Don't continue helping after training me to do your job. Don't butt in if you think I'm doing it the wrong way."

"For—for a moment there, I thought you turned back into the bully," Arnold sighed as he stepped back. "And, I guess I'm afraid it might happen when you're trying to help people. I trust you, but do you trust yourself enough to do this?"

Helga sighed as well. "Don't you know the definition of trust? Relying. Believing. Depending. That's what trust is, Arnold." She looked deeply into his fragile green eyes. She started to caress his cornflower hair, just wanting to let him know someone cared. "Trust that I'm not about to let anyone fall, and I'll try hard to straighten out everyone's problems. Trust that I'll make everything in your life better, and I'll be with you every step of the way. I'm ready to trust you if your ready to trust me. Don't hide your worries and frustrations. Let me open up to you. I'm ready to let you vent to me. You've dealt with enough in your life already." I can be you so you can be yourself to me, my love. I'm doing this for you, not for me. Lean on me. Need me. Want me. I've wanted you for so long.

When she caressed or held him, he felt confident for some reason. How he wished she would do it more. "You've been forced to grow up at a young age too, Helga."

There was silence, and she could swear his eyes were glistening.

I've never vented to anyone, not even my grandparents, or Gerald. It's going to be interesting venting to you. "We have so much in common. You're like a relative to me, and I want you to feel comfortable being who you are. I want you to use solving problems to your advantage, and I want to watch you shine, but please don't mess this up."

Oh, don't worry, my love. "Think positive. You can count on me, bucko."

"I'm not counting on you, Helga; I'm depending on you." He gave up the fight to control his feelings and fell into her arms.


I'm everywhere and I'm nowhere, but mostly I'm everywhere.

)