hey, hey, hey, it's me again!

This ff is getting close to its end. I can't tell you how much fun I had writing it.

Thanks to Nellwantstobeavampirealso for your attention and your reviews. Sorry, but it seems hard to sum up what has happened in the last chapters. Maybe this one will help you to remember =)

Deno: Waye =) Finally, I managed to continue! Thanks for kicking my ass and making me write =) I'm looking foward to seeing you again in July – and to realising your next great idea!

As usual, none of the characters is mine. And the quoted song is Rhapsody by System of a Down – listen to it! It's great!

No way out

He was really, really glad to be alone, to find the dormitory deserted. Following the ritual he had established in the last months, he kicked his shoes into the farthest corner of the room and threw the socks there as well. After opening his pony tail, he put on an IRON-MAIDEN band shirt and a bleached out pair of jeans. With his guitar in his hands, he sat down on his always well-ordered bed and started playing. His hands hadn't found any precise notes they wanted to play and like this, simply touched, and caressed the strings. The chords varied softly as if they had been written on a sheet of paper in order to please everyone's ears. While his fingers magically called this melody, his mind began to wander. He didn't need his brain to play the guitar the way he did now, and this gave him the possibility to think about the last days, his feelings and his future. He knew that things couldn't go on the way they did. Draco wouldn't change – of course not. He's a Malfoy, after all. Thus, Blaise himself had to find a way to save what was left of him.

"I have a problem that I cannot explain, I have no reason why it should have been so plain" – System of a Down's Rhapsody had been one of his favourites a long time ago – surprisingly, he still knew both notes and lyrics by heart. I don't know how I feel when I'm around you, around you, around you, around you… He had been lost in the feelings, in his personal way of interpreting this beautiful song. But when the last chord faded, he felt a presence in the room. Even before he had looked up, he knew who was sitting on Goyle's bed, watching him. He couldn't help but being annoyed about the disturbance and threw an evil glance at his former friend.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have a real talent for destroying peaceful situations?"

Draco looked, well, not startled, but almost – hurt. Nevertheless, Blaise fought against the urge to jump to his feet, take the other boy's hands and caress this pain away. Instead, he put the guitar back into its bag, folded his hands and asked: "What do you want?"

DRACO'S POV

Well, that was a good question. He didn't really know what he wanted. But he knew what he didn't want anymore. Being without his former friend and ally was definitely more than he could – would – bear. A Malfoy didn't accept uncomfortable circumstances if he could change them. And usually, people were more than pleased to follow a Malfoy's wishes. He had expected a different expression in Blaise's eyes: full of friendship and comprehension. Maybe it was too much to expect open arms but... well, he had hoped for them. But Blaise's very first sentence had destroyed all hopes concerning a peaceful, easy meeting. The moment he got aware of that, Draco felt close to tears. This was one of the few times he simply didn't know what to do. Didn't Blaise understand how hard everything was for him? Didn't he see how much he, Draco, needed him? That he just hadn't found out the exact way he needed him? "Blaise..." he whispered, almost inaudibly.
The wonderful blue eyes scrutinized him coldly, before the other boy repeated his question: "What the bloody hell do you want, Dray?" Draco opened his mouth to speak – and closed it again. He was afraid of whatever he might say – and what this might cause to Blaise. For Heaven's sake, he was a Malfoy! Not a weak anybody! "I simply wanted to make sure that you're not"... that you're not too hurt by my brainless behaviour... he wanted to say, but he couldn't. "...doing any stupidity" he closed lamely. Blaise's gaze got icy and Draco felt as if he would freeze as well if he had to look into these eyes another time. He looked away, out of the window, where a dark, almost black sky promised a rainstorm. In this moment, the first thunder rumbled menacingly and Blaise's next words, only whispered, became completely inaudible. Draco pulled his eyebrows together, knowing exactly that he would be understood. So often had they played this game of nonverbal communication, both of them knew that this gesture meant: "Pardon?" And in fact, Blaise opened his mouth again – but now he was the one not being able to speak anymore. Draco fought against the need to get up, sit down next to his friend and hug all the uncertainties away. Only few times had they had real physical contact and it always had meant something special, incredibly reassuring to him. This was one of the reasons why Draco hated being separated from Blaise. It was as if a part of him was missing.

The silence between them grew bigger and bigger – and with each second more unsupportable. Once again, he looked into Blaise's dark blue eyes – and winced. They were not cold and scrutinizing anymore, but full of pain. Pain he himself had caused.

Draco fixed the dark sky and the raindrops when he started talking:

"The truth is that I ... I miss you. I miss the time we spent together. Once upon a time, we were friends and nothing could stop us. You understood me without any further words and gave me the feeling of security. I felt save when I was with you. You didn't care about Malfoy junior, son of Lucius – but about Draco Emanuel. We were an unbeatable team – power and good looks, money and fascination. I never have connected to anybody the way I felt and still feel connected to you."

He got interrupted by a sound he had definitely not expected: laughter. Blaise had started laughing in a bitter way. "Oh Dray, come on. That's a really evil game you're playing! I admit it – you're right. Once upon a time, we were a team. Slytherin's real princes. People had some nice nicknames for us. Then, I committed a mortal crime. I fell for you. Of course, this had to destroy me. Being in love with a Malfoy is sort of like fighting against the Dark Arts. You can't win. I know this now. I fought hard to forget you – I can't. I can't forget the feelings I had during this one night we spent together. I never will. But I will let go of you. You will find another ally. Maybe you can't buy yourself sympathy. But your money and your power will give you the possibility to achieve everybody's loyalty. You will need loyal allies on your way, Dray. You are going to be one of the most powerful persons of all Britain. I know about the plans you have for your career. I would only hinder you, destroy your reputation. You want to study law, I know. What do you think are your co-students at Harvard going to say if they find out you have a gay friend who is in love with you? No. I couldn't stand this. I couldn't live with the omnipresent certainty of having ruined your life."

Draco had to fight hard against the tears. He hadn't cried for years, but now, as Blaise interrupted himself, his voice soft and a bit husky, he felt his eyes getting wet. "You don't... You won't...", he stuttered ...You will never ruin my life. You gave it a bit of light and I will always be grateful for everything you did for me.

Blaise's cool fingers pressed softly against his lips and he shuddered.

"Dray, you've never been good at saying good-bye. You told me that once, when we spent the night on the Astronomy tower because we had to do two hours of Detention. Tomorrow, I won't be here anymore. I'm going to America, to make music. I will talk to Dumbledore and I'm sure he will let me go. I've never been much of a good student anyway." Both of them knew that this was a lie, but it was one of the lies supposed to ease pain. Thus, Draco didn't respond and Blaise calmly continued talking about the future he had planned carefully, "in case anything prevented him from becoming an official at the Ministry of Magic".

Draco remained speechless when Blaise slowly stepped out of the room, directed verso the Headmaster's office. He was going to leave. No! No! NO! Draco wished to lie down on Blaise's bed, hide his face in the green cushion and cry. He had never felt this lonely; he had always had someone by his side. Oh sure, there were his famous body guards and they would remain close to him. Once, in his first year at Hogwarts, he had been fine with their physically strong presence, the feeling that they made him special. But this was different. Blaise had always given him the feeling of being normal, of having a personality behind the mask made from names and duties.

But now, this was over. He himself had destroyed everything. He was alone. Hot pain rushed through his veins. Desperately, he tried to find a solution for this cursed situation. He could declare Blaise to be his friend, whatever might happen. But he knew that the other boy wouldn't accept. Too right had he been with his visions about the future. Having a gay friend and not sending him to hell meant weakness – he would lose in the game of who was the toughest (and thus best) lawyer. Maybe he could ... theoretically; there were many officially gay advocates. He could live together with Blaise and declare him his boyfriend.

He saw the two of them in a huge bed, sunlight, soft glances – and felt great warmth in his stomach. This was a dream he definitely liked. Living together would be easy as breathing, and maybe he would fall in love with Blaise one day. Maybe... Unfortunately, a Malfoy can never stop being a Malfoy. He heard his father's voice in his head, quiet and menacingly calm. "You will not, under any circumstance, live a life like this. Draco Emanuel Lucius Malfoy, did you understand?""Yes, father", he would answer and bow his head.

"DAMN IT! Why me?" he yelled and threw himself onto his own bed. He couldn't cry, but he fell into a silent and painful confusion that lasted.

BLAISE'S POV

When he re-entered the room two hours later, he found Draco lying motionless on his bed, still completely dressed. He smiled softly at this view and caressed the other boy's cheek. He looked so young and vulnerable when he was sleeping... Blaise's heart yelled at him to change his mind, to stay. But he couldn't. He would not, for his egoistic feelings, destroy the life of the boy he loved.

With a casual movement of his wand, he prepared his luggage for the next day before he went to bed. He remained completely dressed and spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, living through many wonderful memories of his last years at Hogwarts.