Alrighty guys things are getting real. :D Sorry for leaving you all on a cliff hanger last chapter, wait no I am not that sorry lol XD
Jackson stared daggers at his mother as she got up and walked out of the kitchen. She went up stairs and slammed the door to her bedroom. Jackson closed his eyes…there was no way she will avoid him this time. He marched up stairs and banged on his mother's door.
"You need to tell me everything now! It's not like you can take back SIXTEEN years of lies!" He shouted through the door, "do you even care about me? Or was I just some mess up you couldn't seem to-" The door opened making Jackson take a step back when his mother glared at him.
"You will refrain from banging on my door, as well as shouting. I am still you mother and I never lied to you."
"What do you call hid-" Jackson tried to keep his temper under control he knows now what happens when he blacks out, Holt is not getting to his mother first.
"I was making a choice!" She yelled at him pulling him into her room and setting him down on her bed, she stood in front of him. "I had a choice when you born and we found out you were more like my family than your father's."
"I don't care!" He yelled getting up, "I just want to know why you lied!"
"I didn't lie!"
"Then why did you hide it?" He cried out making his mother want to hold him.
"It was safer for you and Holt if you didn't know." She said tired of fighting already.
Jackson just stared at her…safer….safer? "How was it safer?"He said through gritted teeth, "or was it more convenient for you. I bet if it wasn't for the trigger switch I would have never known."
"I was going to tell you when you were ready."
"When was that going to be mother?" He shouted stomping his foot as she flinched still not looking Jackson in the eye. "I am sixteen freaken years old! I can drive, what makes you think I couldn't know about my alter ego?"
"You were in so much pain already…why should I add more to it?" She said trying to defend herself when Jackson stomped that down.
"Pain? Pain?" Jackson laughed hysterically, "The only reason why I was in pain was the simple fact that I was confused all the damn time! You weren't there and when I needed you the most, you left!" His hands were shaking, he took a deep breath trying to regain himself as his head started to hurt. "You left me…to deal with my father's death alone…I never saw you…we moved so much I don't even remember half the schools you forced me to."
Jackson sat on the floor as his mother sat across from him. "I didn't leave you sweetie…I didn't know how to feel about it…we all deal with-"
"You should never leave your son to deal with all that by himself! No matter how much pain you are in!" He yelled getting up and away from her. He rushed to his room slamming the door shut. He was done with his mother, done with life. He screamed out in anger trying his hardest not to switch out. He rushed to his vanity and pushed it over, the mirror shattered. He fell to his knees landing in the glass, sharp stabbing pains shot through his hands. Blood started to pool around his hands. He didn't care; he wanted nothing more than this pain to stop. To just fall away leaving this cruel unfair world behind him. No tears, just anger, red hot boiling anger. He heard his door slowly open behind him. Jackson's mother looked around at her son breathing heavily on the ground on top the broken vanity. She saw blood around his hands and she rushed to him when he pushed her away.
"Jackson let me look at your hands," she demanded making Jackson push her away harder. She sat back on her knees just watching Jackson calm down or at least trying. "Why me?" he groaned out not really wanting an answer.
She played with her rings as she answered his question. "I was told when I was barely six years old. Of course my Hyde side isn't like Holt. She is more...angry…and only comes out when I am extremely emotionally unable to deal with what is going on in front of me." She stops and watches Jackson who has not moved. "She doesn't think, just acts…it could have been different if I didn't know at such a young age…I hated her…everyone acted like she some sort of infection…so before our trigger switch she wasn't one for anything but anger." She stopped talking feeling herself start to cry. "I didn't want that for you or Holt…I may have made mistakes and I know I have hurt you so many times…but in the end letting Holt believe he was his own person may have helped keep him sane." She grabbed Jackson's wrist, who didn't pull away. "As for you…I knew you would ask questions. But with those questions, yes I lied, but I knew when Holt started asking questions he would be more ready to deal with the truth. You were always going to handle the truth better-"
"Is this how you imagined me taking it?" He asked not looking at her and pulling his arm out of her grasp.
She shook her head wanting nothing more to take all the pain she caused her son away from him, "No, no this is not what I imagined when I told you."
Jackson said nothing and they both sat in their same positions for what seemed like hours. His mother slowly got up pulling Jackson up as well, "let me look at your hands…there might be glass in them."
Jackson let his mother drag him down stairs and sit him at the kitchen table. He had no idea how to react to any of this. What his mother said made sense. If she has to deal with an alter ego who was mad all the time…how was she not insane? She couldn't act out emotionally…not without hurting someone. He wondered if that is why Holt is the way he is…able to act and think like a real person. The video proved he was able to seem happy confused and in pain. Jackson's mind floated to the journals he was able to read…not all of them since his mother hid them from him every time he found them. His mother placed an empty bowl on the table and had tweezers in her hand as she pulled a chair up right next to him. "Let me see your hands." She said as he obeyed her. "Can you take off your over shirt?" She asked noticing it was hard to see his hands. Jackson again obeyed without complaint. He placed his hands on the table again and waited for his mother to start looking over his hands. When he felt her hand on his arm he looked at her. He saw tears in her eyes…why was she crying again? He looked down at his arms to notice she was covering his almost healed cut. "Why didn't you come to me?" She asked.
Jackson just glared at his mother, "Because you would have never understood." He turned his attention back to the window as his mother looked over the scars on his arms….every moment of pain…he thought she wouldn't understand him. She could have lost her son to this and she would have never known. Between her seeing Holt come home either high or drunk to seeing Jackson cutting because of her. She knew she wouldn't be a good mother…why did she even have him? Trying her best to keep the tears from coming fully she looked over his hands pulling out the glass. It wasn't as bad as it looked in his room. She was thankful for that. Wrapping them up she hugged Jackson who shoved her off. She sat back down in her chair not knowing what else to say to him, "I am finished with your hands."
"Thanks," was all he mumbled out getting up from the chair and heading to the door before his mother stopped him.
"Do you know what your trigger is now?"
He turned back around and walked over to his backpack. Grabbing his headphones he put them on. As much as he hated Holt he thought he could go through the same disappoint he was going through right now…anyways he rather have the blackout then deal with everything right now. His mother just watches her son place his headphones on and putting them into his phone as music started to play. She jumped up as Jackson was engulfed into flames and when they cleared Holt was standing there rubbing his head. "Mom?" He asked slowly as if he was trying to hold back tears.
She rushed over to him making him sit down in the chair. "It's okay Holt." She said smoothing out his hair.
"They told me I wasn't real…" He moaned out not looking at his mother.
"Who told you that?"
"Head Mistress Bloodgood…she called me an alter ego," Holt placed his head in his hands, "I am not an alter ego. Am I?"
She didn't know how to answer that…from what she saw…music was now their permanent trigger…there was no hiding the truth now. "Yes Holt you are an alter ego, but-"
Holt got up shoving her aside, "and you are just now tellin' me this?" He yelled with tears flowing down his face, "every time you told me just to go with it…was…was just because you knew I wouldn't ask why?"
"No Holt I jus-"
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He yelled as his hands burst into flames.
"You weren't ready…" she answered back standing up straight…she knew Holt would take it like this no matter how long it took, she was more prepared for Holt's outbursts then Jackson's.
"It would have made my life easier!" He yelled back. "But you know what I am fuckin' done." Holt grabbed the keys he saw sitting on the island where Jackson's backpack sat. "I am done talkin' to a mother who lies!" He grabbed the phone which was connected to his headphones and walked to the door before his mother grabbed his arm and pulled him back inside.
"You are not leaving," she whispered in a deadly tone, Holt knew he was in trouble by the look on her face. Damn Jackson for already pissing their mother off. He pulled his arm from her grip and pushed her back. "You are not the boss of me anymore! I don't need you anymore!" He opened the door when she slammed it shut.
"You think you are the only one who wants to be free?" His mother said in a growl. He backed up to the door when everything about his mother seemed to have changed. On her wrist there was a tattoo he has never seen before. She still looked like his mother, but her eyes…there was something different. "I will show you how a real Hyde should act."
Holt woke up a few hours later lying on the living room floor. He flinched as he got up. Bruises seemed to cover every inch of his body. He never seen his mother like that…looking around the room he saw it was a mess. Nothing seemed to have survived his mother's assault…only him. She made sure he did at least…his headphones laid on the ground somewhere, but the radio was on blasting some random CD. Slowly getting up he tried not to put pressure on his hands…Jackson must have did that…it was nice to know that he could blame some of the pain he was in on his other half. Brushing his self off trying not to hit any major sore spots, moving over to the mirror that seemed to have almost lived through the assault, he saw a bruise form on his cheek. He didn't know what to think of this new find. Soon he studied the birthmark on his face…it looked just like the one on his mother's wrist. Sighing he was finally able to put the pieces together. His mother…was like him, well in a way. She changed like Jackson…she had an alter ego. But like him her alter was…not like him? She didn't seem to care what happened as long as her anger was getting out. Not even Holt's cries of pain cleared her head. His fists started to shake as he remembered the feeling of being weak and helpless. No one would ever make him feel that way again. He punched the mirror breaking it the rest of the way before finding his headphones and slamming the door shut to the house. He didn't know where he was going and he never really cared as long as he was away from that damn place.
