Chapter 11 – But nothing's turned out how you wanted


"What about the promise?"

Sousuke blinked at his red-headed friend as they stood in front of the bus stop. He raised his arms and rested them behind his head.

"I still haven't thought of anything," Sousuke admitted.

The redhead's eyes lowered into a deadpan expression. "Aw, come on…"

Sousuke smiled brightly—a smile that reached his eyes.

"I guess I'll look forward to asking you the next time we meet," Sousuke said.

His friend paused and then smiled, a determined look in his red eyes.

"I'll see you around," he said.

"Yeah," Sousuke said with a smile.

They bumped fists, and just like that… his friend was gone and off to Australia to become a better swimmer. The bus left, leaving Sousuke to clench his fists inside his jacket pockets.

After a moment of waiting by the bus stop, he turned on his heel and left.

'I will stand on the stage next to you,' Sousuke thought as he headed home. 'So don't forget about me, Rin.'

Over the next several weeks, while Sousuke continued to swim during elementary school, Rin sent several letters describing his time in Australia. Sousuke read every single one and immediately wrote back, getting more and more excited every time he checked his mailbox.

But after a while, the letters became sparse, only arriving every couple of weeks. The letters spoke little of his experiences in Australia and more of his swimming, how his times had not improved and how the expectations were high.

And then, one day, the letters stopped coming altogether.


Sousuke's hand hit the wall with a loud smack, sending water droplets flying everywhere. He reared back and gasped for breath, twisting in his lane to look up at his coach.

"Nice work, Yamazaki! Your time improved by a whole second," his coach said. He paused for a moment to look at the pool to watch some of the other swimmers, his thumb still on his stopwatch. "But, you need to be careful. You were thrashing about more wildly. Smooth it out some and your time will go even faster."

Sousuke's brows pinched slightly but he nodded, grunting softly. He climbed out of the pool and pulled his swim cap and goggles off of his head. He pulled the goggles onto his arm and up around his shoulder as he walked towards the wall, turning his back to it to lean against it.

"Nice work," his teammate said, lifting a water bottle towards Sousuke. Sousuke took it with a slight nod and a small smile.

"Ah, thanks," Sousuke said.

His teammate leaned against the wall next to Sousuke and drank out of his own water bottle. After a long swig, his teammate turned to look at Sousuke.

"So, I hear you're taking off soon," he said.

Sousuke blinked at him and hummed in response.

"Where ya going?" his teammate asked. "Got a girlfriend you need to see?"

Sousuke rolled his eyes and took a swig of his water. "No, nothing like that."

"Then what? Just need a break?"

Sousuke tapped his finger against the water bottle and gazed out at the pool in front of him.

"I'm going to visit a friend," Sousuke explained.

"Hm? Your friend?"

"Yeah. I've known him since elementary school," Sousuke said.

"Wow, that's a long time. You usually don't stay in contact with people that long," his teammate said. "You guys catching up, then?"

Sousuke tilted his head back to gaze out of the windows that stretched towards the tall ceiling. The sun was shining brightly against the clouds, making the sky glow.

"Sort of."


The sun was shining against the clouds, making them glow.

Sousuke found himself sitting in his elementary classroom next to Rin's empty desk, his eyes lazily staring out the window. The morning bell had just rung and everyone was in their assigned seats. Sousuke could hear the teacher giving announcements about the day but her words went in one ear and out the other. He was tired and angry and lonely, confused as to why his friend had just stopped talking to him. He just wanted to go home.

"Okay, before we begin the morning's lesson, I'd like to announce that there is someone new joining our class for the remainder of the year," the teacher said, the words catching Sousuke's ears.

Sousuke turned his head away from the window to stare at his teacher, barely interested in whoever would be joining their class. He could hear his fellow classmates whispering as the teacher walked to the doorway to let in the mysterious student.

"A new student? This late in the year?"

"Maybe a job transfer?"

"Or did they get kicked out of their last school?"

Sousuke rolled his eyes, struggling to care about the rumors that would start. A new student was always interesting but all Sousuke wanted was for his friend to come back. He did not care for someone new.

But then, the door slid open and in walked a tall boy with a mess of brown hair. He had a timid look on his face and his fingers twisted in front of him. His shoulders were up by his reddened ears and his gaze was pointed towards the floor.

Sousuke pitied him. For someone so tall, he was doing a great job at making himself look tiny.

"All right, everyone! This is our new student joining our class today for the rest of the year! Go ahead and introduce yourself," the teacher said.

The boy squeaked when he was addressed and then scrambled to face the class. He cleared his throat.

"M-My name is Tachibana Makoto. I-It's very nice to meet you!"

Tachibana bowed deeply to the class, and Sousuke could hear a few snickers coming from his classmates.

"He has a girly name!"

"I know! What's up with that?"

Sousuke's brows pushed together. That sounded very familiar.

'I have a girl's name, but I'm a boy! Nice to meet you!'

Rin would have introduced himself like that. Confident and proud. But Tachibana…

Tachibana straightened his back with a maddening blush on his cheeks, embarrassed out of his mind.

"Y-Yeah, well… I…" Tachibana stuttered his way through his introduction, trying to come up with a reason for his girly name. Finally, the teacher took pity on him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, it's good to have you, Tachibana-kun. There's an empty desk in the back."

Sousuke jolted when he realized that the teacher was pointing in his direction. He snapped his head to the side to look at the empty desk next to him, the realization slowly sinking in.

Rin's old seat would now be occupied by this guy?!

"Oh, thank you," Tachibana said to the teacher with a slight bow of his head.

Then, Tachibana made his way back to the desk next to Sousuke, gingerly pulling out his chair to sit down. He glanced at Sousuke and gave a shy smile.

"I guess we're going to be desk partners, then," Tachibana said.

Sousuke's eyes turned to gaze out the window once again. "I guess so."

"What's your name?"

Sousuke slid his eyes over to look at Tachibana, finally able to make out his green eyes. They were bright, a little droopy, but friendly.

What would Rin want him to do?

Sousuke sighed and turned in his seat to fully face him.

"Yamazaki Sousuke," he introduced a little plainly.

"Ah, nice to meet you, Yamazaki-kun!"

Then, Tachibana smiled. And it was a blinding smile, one that reached his eyes and made his head tilt to the side.

Sousuke's eyes widened.

His smile reminded him of Rin's bright smile.

Sousuke managed not to scowl, instead his lips pushing together in a small pout.

"Mmn. Nice to meet you, too."


"Sort of? What does that mean?"

Sousuke snapped out of his daze, remembering where he was. He turned to look at his teammate and blinked a few times.

"Ah. Well, I just need to visit him," Sousuke said, his brows furrowed in mild worry.

"Sounds like you guys are close," his teammate commented.

Sousuke nodded and hummed. "Yeah."

"Did you just go to elementary school with him?"

"Ah, no. We went to the same middle and high school, too," Sousuke said.

"Aw, how cute," his teammate teased.

"Shut it," Sousuke grumbled and he took another swig of water.

His teammate only laughed and shook his head. "So, was he on the swim team with you, then?"

Sousuke lowered the bottle away from his face to stare back up at the windows, watching as the sun disappeared behind another cloud. It sent rays of sunlight shining out in every direction.

"No," Sousuke answered quietly. He paused for a moment, fiddling with the strap of his goggles that were slung around his shoulder.

"Oh? Why not?"

Sousuke's hand squeezed his water bottle, crinkling the plastic slightly. He breathed slowly and glanced out at the pool, watching as his fellow teammates made soft splashes with each dive.

"He's afraid of water," Sousuke explained.

"Afraid of water?" his teammate repeated. He leaned back against the wall and tilted his head to look at the ceiling. "Wonder what could've caused that…"

Sousuke stayed quiet for a moment. He thought back to when Makoto had spoken to him one afternoon in elementary school, right when everyone was talking about summer vacation plans. Sousuke's other friends said that they were going to the beach and Makoto had immediately stiffened.

When Sousuke had approached him about it, Makoto had played it off as no big deal. But Sousuke, with the most patience he could muster at the tender age of 11, urged Makoto to tell him what was wrong. And Makoto, with shaking fingers, told him everything. Sousuke could not fully comprehend the horrors that Makoto had gone through, but knew that he wanted to protect him.

The two of them had been inseparable ever since.

"Well, it used to be just the ocean," Sousuke started.

"The ocean?" his teammate asked.

Sousuke nodded. "The fear started when someone he knew drowned in the ocean." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "But soon after that, he told me a close friend of his almost drowned in a river. He's been too afraid to even get into a pool."

"Whoa, that's… that's really awful," his teammate said. "Did he ever get over it?"

Sousuke's hand lowered down his side, his fingers curling into a weak fist.

"No."


"Sheesh, these uniforms are annoying," Sousuke said as he tugged on the collar of his shirt. He grumbled and sighed when it still did not loosen. He felt as if he were suffocating.

"I wouldn't try to unbutton it. I heard that the middle school teachers are more strict."

Sousuke glanced over to his friend, who was smiling softly at him. He raised his arms and cradled his head in his hands.

"Where'd you hear something like that, Makoto?" Sousuke asked his friend.

Makoto chuckled softly and scratched his cheek. "Um, I don't know, really. I just have a suspicion that since we're older now, we're going to have stricter teachers."

Sousuke pouted. "That's nonsense. Middle school won't be scary."

"You never know!" Makoto defended.

They walked up to the front of the middle school and stopped when they saw the mass of students crowding the board next to the doors.

"Oh, they've posted our homerooms," Sousuke said casually. He dropped his hands to stuff them into his pockets.

"You think we'll be separated into different classes?" Makoto asked.

Sousuke shrugged and leaned to the side to study the board. Makoto squinted next to him, leaning forward to try and see the board.

"Are you sure you don't need glasses?" Sousuke teased.

"I can see just fine, thank you," Makoto retorted.

"Oh, yeah? Then why are you squinting?"

"I'm not!"

Once they found their names on the lists—both of them thankful that they were in the same class—the two of them headed inside to change out their shoes and seek out their homeroom.

"So, what clubs are you thinkin' about joining?" Sousuke asked as they entered their new classroom.

Makoto shyly rang his hands together as they passed by some of their classmates.

"Probably just the literature club or something," Makoto said with a small smile.

"Huh? Don't you want to join a sport?" Sousuke asked, his brow quirked. "You're good at basketball."

Makoto chuckled softly and rubbed the back of his head, unsure.

"Maybe. But I'm super clumsy, so I don't know how well I would do on a team setting," Makoto insisted. "Anyways… what are you joining?"

Sousuke smiled, tossing his hands behind his head and closing his eyes.

"The swim club, obviously."

"Ah… right."

Souskuke's eyes popped back open at the hesitant tone in Makoto's voice and he glanced over to see his friend fiddling with his fingers, looking a little distressed. Sousuke gulped, his arms dropping to his sides.

"Hey, you don't have to go to any of the meets," Sousuke said immediately.

Makoto startled and shook his hands in the air. "No, no! I want to go! You're my friend, Sousuke. I want to support you."

"You don't have to force yourself," Sousuke said with a slight pout.

"I'm not," Makoto said with a smile. "I've gotten… better. I promise."

Sousuke studied Makoto's face carefully, seeking out any cracks in his façade. But, to Sousuke's relief, Makoto seemed genuine.

"Well, if you're not gonna join a sport, then you have to go running with me," Sousuke said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Eh?! Why?" Makoto asked.

"I know how much you like sweets, Makoto. I've gotta keep you in shape!"

"B-But—"

"No excuses!"


"No? That's a shame," Sousuke's teammate commented sadly.

Sousuke sighed and nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.

"Yeah, it is," Sousuke said. "But he was really supportive. He worked out with me all the time."

His teammate blinked at him and then smirked. "Did he go willingly or did you make him go?"

Sousuke's brow twitched and he glanced away, lifting his water bottle to his lips to take a drink. His teammate laughed and shook his head.

"Thought so. Poor guy," his teammate said.

"Shut up."

Now that Sousuke had thought about it, he probably should have been easier on Makoto. But he knew Makoto did not hate him for it. He had the body of an athlete now. If anything, Makoto should be thankful that he was toned and not a bloated whale.

"Okay, everyone! Wrap it up for today!"

Sousuke jumped at the sound of his coach's voice bouncing off the tall walls. He glanced over to see the rest of the team cooling down or climbing out of the pool. Sousuke did not realize how much time had passed. The practice went by quickly today.

"Well, that's that."

Sousuke turned to see his teammate push himself up from the wall and stretch, looking at Sousuke with a small smile.

"You goin' to get lunch?" he asked.

Sousuke paused and then shook his head.

"I'll probably head over to the gym for a bit," Sousuke said.

"Eh? Again?" his teammate asked with a slight whine in his voice.

"Yep," Sousuke said as he slung his towel over his shoulder. He turned to head into the locker room, his teammate following close behind.

"Don't overdo it, man," his teammate said with a sigh.

Sousuke waved him off confidently. "I won't."


Something felt… off.

As Sousuke slammed his palm against the side of the pool, he felt it: a tug on his right shoulder that sent prickling pains down his arm. But just as quickly as the pain surfaced, it disappeared.

He grunted and reached over to knead the skin, trying to find a source for the pain, but he felt nothing.

"You okay, Yamazaki?"

Sousuke turned his head to see his teammate standing in the lane beside him with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah," Sousuke answered. He let go of his shoulder and walked forward to pull himself out of the pool. "Probably just a spasm."

"Ah, okay. Well, if you're sure," his teammate said.

Sousuke yanked off his swim cap and goggles from the top of his head. He headed to the locker rooms to change and head home for the day.

"Yeah," he said over his shoulder. "I'm fine."

Once he had changed, he left the pool area and walked out to the hallway of his high school where he was met with a familiar face.

Makoto was sitting on the bench just outside the pool with a book in his hands and a gentle smile on his face as he flipped a page. When Sousuke came closer, Makoto glanced up at him in surprise.

"Oh, you're done already, Sousuke?" Makoto asked. He set the book down in his lap. "You're usually still training for at least another half-hour."

Sousuke sighed through his nose and adjusted his bag over his shoulder. He winced when the strap of his duffle bag dug into his shoulder and a spike of pain jolted down his arm. He reached up to rub his shoulder, his thumb rubbing soft circles into the muscle to ebb the pain away.

What in the world was going on?

"Sousuke?"

Sousuke jumped at the worried tone of his best friend, turning his head to see Makoto looking up at him with slightly widened eyes. His lips were parted and his brows were furrowed.

"Are you okay?" Makoto asked. His eyes moved to Sousuke's shoulder. "Is your shoulder bothering you?"

Sousuke's hand dropped from his shoulder and he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"It's just stiff from practice. You ready to go?" Sousuke asked, trying to steer the conversation away from his shoulder.

Makoto hesitated, his eyes flitting back and forth from Sousuke's shoulder to his face. Then, he closed his book and placed it in his backpack.

"Yeah, I'm ready," Makoto said as he stood to his feet and threw his backpack over his shoulder. "But, are you… your shoulder… is it—"

"It's fine," Sousuke snapped. He immediately regretted his tone as Makoto flinched, but he tried to breeze past it by walking towards the exit. "Let's go. I need help on the literature homework."

Makoto's footsteps pattered behind him until he caught up next to his side.

"What? It was so easy!" Makoto said with a smile.

Sousuke smiled lightly as they walked out of the pool building and to the street, his shoulder starting to throb more and more with each step.


Sousuke slowly lowered the bar down just above his chin as sweat dripped down his neck. He huffed out a soft sigh and stared up at the ceiling, feeling the burn in his chest and shoulders. He had managed to bench with more weights this time and he had done several more reps. He was thankful he did not need a spotter today.

He leaned up from the bench and rolled his right shoulder in a few tight circles. Out of habit, he expected to feel a sharp throb or sting. But when he was met without any resistance or pain, he sighed in relief. It had been a few years since his shoulder had acted up. It was now stronger than ever.

And it was all thanks to Makoto.

Sousuke ran his fingers through his hair. He wondered what would have happened if Makoto had not been there. Where would he be now? Would he had made it to the national team at all? Or would…

Or would Sousuke have been reduced to giving up swimming for good?

Sousuke shook his head and sighed, feeling his heart leap at the thought. It was thanks to Makoto's quick thinking and pushiness that Sousuke was able to pursue his dream.

He took a deep breath and pulled his arm across his chest to stretch out his shoulder.

"I won't ruin your hard work, Makoto," Sousuke mumbled to himself as he rolled his shoulder. "You got me here, so I'm staying here."


More time had passed and Sousuke's shoulder still ached with each little movement, but he did his best to ignore it. He still trained like he normally would and still forced Makoto to work out with him whenever he could. He iced it every night he went home and rubbed muscle cream on it afterwards. His shoulder began to have a red glow around it, but Sousuke grit his teeth and just shoved a shirt over his head.

It was not until he took Makoto to the gym one day that he knew he was in trouble.

"Are you sure you're not overdoing it?" Makoto asked, concern written all over his face.

"Yeah," Sousuke said. He could already feel sweat on his neck and he had not even picked up a weight yet.

Makoto's brows creased. "You've just seemed really exhausted and stressed lately."

Sousuke shrugged, biting back a wince when his shoulder prickled in pain.

"The tournament's coming up," Sousuke said. "I want scouts to look at me."

Makoto smiled softly but his eyes were still upturned in concern. "Yeah, but you still have over a year to worry about that, right?"

"Shut up," Sousuke groaned. He glanced around, thankful that the gym was empty tonight. "I'll start on the weights."

"A-Ah, let me know when you need me to spot you," Makoto called after him.

"Yeah, yeah."

Makoto got to work on one of the treadmills while Sousuke meandered to the dumbbells on the other side of the room. He put down his water and reached for one of the weights. He sat down on a bench and shifted the weight into his left hand. He bit his lip. He knew he was avoiding the inevitable.

After doing way too may reps on his left arm, Sousuke knew he had to switch. He glanced over to see Makoto still going at it steadily on the treadmill and then he turned around to look in the mirror in front of him. It was a sickening sight, with the dark circles under his eyes and the stress lines on his face.

'Whatever. This is nothing. Just a pulled muscle.'

Sousuke switched the dumbbell into his right hand.

'Just have to take it slow and—'

A sharp pain spiked through his shoulder and sent tingles down his bicep, making him cry out and drop the dumbbell onto the floor, nearly smashing his foot in the process. His left hand came up to grip his shoulder, the pain making him dizzy.

'What… what's going on?'

"…suke? Sousuke!"

Sousuke could barely register his name being called, the voice muffled and distant. Yet, there Makoto was, kneeling in front of him and holding his elbows. Why did his voice sound so far away?

"Mako—" Sousuke winced and choked on his name as another spike of pain ripped through his shoulder. It felt like it was on fire, a constant stabbing that made Sousuke think his shoulder was falling off.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Makoto asked frantically. His eyes flitted to the shoulder Sousuke was cradling and he gently leaned up to move Sousuke's hand.

"Don't!" Sousuke growled.

"I just want to see," Makoto said.

"I told you, I'm fine—"

"You're obviously not!" Makoto shouted back, his eyes apologetic but his tone firm.

Sousuke flinched and then froze, his eyes widening at Makoto's voice.

"Now move your hand," Makoto said, his voice softer. "Please, Sousuke."

Sousuke grimaced and then slowly moved his hand down and away from his shoulder. Makoto, with gentle hands, pulled down the collar of Sousuke's shirt to look at his shoulder, and Sousuke flinched when he heard him gasp.

"Sousuke!" Makoto breathed. "Y-Your shoulder, it's… it's swollen."

Sousuke pinched his lips together into a tight line, keeping his eyes fixed on the floor in between his feet and Makoto's knees.

"How long has it been like this?" Makoto asked.

Sousuke's brows creased, trying to think back to when the pain had first begun.

"Maybe… maybe a few months."

"Sousuke…"

Sousuke finally looked up to see Makoto's face scrunched up in worry, his jaw dropped and his eyebrows upturned.

"Sousuke, you… we need to get you to a doctor," Makoto said.

"It's just a pulled muscle," Sousuke said.

"And what if it's not?"

Sousuke flinched, his hands tightening into fists. He could not say it. He did not want to admit it.

"Sousuke, I know you think that this will stop your training and slow you down," Makoto started, and Sousuke's breath seized inside his chest. "But if you don't go see a doctor now and get it treated, then you might never be able to train ever again."

Sousuke inhaled sharply as a sob threatened to burst from his throat. He hung his head and pressed his palm to his eye to stop the stinging.

It hurt.

He couldn't…

A hand gripped his good shoulder, squeezing reassuringly, and the first few tears slipped out.

"I won't let this stop you from pursuing your dream, Sousuke," Makoto said. "You will make it to the national stage. You will."

Sousuke sucked in a stuttering breath and hung his head down lower until his forehead rested on Makoto's shoulder. Makoto reached up to touch the back of his neck, a few of his fingers sliding into Sousuke's dark hair.

"I promise you will, okay? But we need to get you to a doctor," Makoto said, squeezing Sousuke's neck. "Let's go home. We'll tell your mom to schedule you an appointment."

With his voice stuck behind the lump in his throat, all Sousuke could do was nod against Makoto's shoulder. Makoto hummed in response and helped Sousuke to his feet.

"Ah, I didn't want to work out anyway," Makoto said in a light, teasing voice.

Sousuke huffed out a breath and managed a small smile, the lump dissolving in his throat.

"You never do."


Sousuke plopped down on his bed, a towel on his wet hair that was fresh from a shower. He scrubbed his head a few times and then his eyes flitted over to the clock in his bedroom. It was close to ten in the evening.

With a grunt, he reached over to his nightstand to grab his phone, searching down the contacts until he reached his best friend's name. He quickly hit the green button and lifted the phone to his ear, hoping and praying to hear that cheerful voice pick up on the other line.

Makoto, of course, did not answer, his phone going to voicemail after a few rings. Sousuke sighed and pulled the phone from his ear, quickly opening a new message.

To: Makoto

Hey, you said you would talk to me about this new job stuff. Call me?

Sousuke waited, his eyes glued to the screen. After a few minutes with no response, Sousuke clicked his tongue and let his phone drop onto his bed. He leaned back, crossing his arms above his head and resting his head on his hands. He stared up at the dark ceiling for a moment, feeling his brows furrow. He lazily turned his head towards his nightstand to see a picture of him and Makoto at one of Sousuke's meets. Sousuke was holding a trophy in his hands.

"Idiot," Sousuke said aloud, his voice booming in the small room. He glared at the picture. "You wanted to be by my side through everything but why can't you answer a damn phone call now?"

Sousuke huffed and turned his head away from the picture, instead staring up at the ceiling once again.

"Idiot," he repeated.

Sousuke remembered Makoto being there for him through almost everything, even managing to face his fears to watch him swim at his meets. Makoto was the most supportive person Sousuke knew.

Sousuke turned his head towards his desk, his eyes catching more pictures of them pinned to the wall. Several of them were taken during their times in high school together, whether at a meet or even graduation. But one picture caught Sousuke's eye.

Sousuke and Makoto were sitting on the steps that led to the Yamazaki household, and Sousuke's arm was cradling in a white sling.

Sousuke huffed.

Even then, Makoto was there for everything.


"What's the verdict?"

Sousuke sat on the patient's bed with Makoto standing next to him as the doctor eyed the x-rays and scans with a scrutinizing gaze. Neither one of them could make heads or tails of the scans but they trusted the doctor's words.

Sousuke was fidgeting in his seat, waiting for the doctor to answer his question. The more the silence hung in the air, the more his nerves started to wither. He was thankful for Makoto's presence. He would have gone completely insane in a shower stall somewhere if he had not been by his side.

"Well," the doctor started, turning back to look at Sousuke with a small smile. "It looks like we caught it early enough. No need for surgery."

They both sighed in relief and Makoto lifted a hand to his chest.

"Thank goodness," Makoto breathed.

Sousuke felt himself slump a little on the bed, his heart slowing to a normal pace. He turned to Makoto to see his bright smile and he could not help but smile back.

"So," Sousuke said, turning back to the doctor. "What happens next?"

...

Sousuke's brows twitched. He remembered exactly what happened after that.

...

"Sousuke. Wake up."

"Nnn."

"Come on! Your physical therapy starts in 30 minutes! We have to leave now if we want to make it in time!"

"I'm still sleeping."

"No, you're not."

"So bossy…"

"All right, that's it! Let's… go!"

"W-Wha?! Hey! Don't just drag me out of bed!"

"Hehe, how does it feel to be on the other end?"

"I'm going to kill you."

"You can, but only after you go to physical therapy!"

"…Fine. You're buying me a soda today."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go already!"

...

"Meddlesome, as usual," Sousuke mumbled out loud.

But then, Sousuke chuckled to himself, realizing that he could not have gotten through that therapy on his own. It was tough and annoying, and the pain was almost unbearable. And yet, Makoto did not leave. Even when Sousuke threatened to bash his face in, Makoto barely even flinched. Instead, Makoto forced Sousuke to go back, week after week, until his shoulder was as good as new.

Sousuke sighed. He was incredibly grateful.

He huffed, remembering that Makoto even managed to smile for him after every therapy session. Even after all of the threats and harsh glares, Makoto still never left his side.

I definitely owe him for all of the garbage I put him through, Sousuke thought.

Sousuke's eyes slowly slid shut, feeling the heaviness of the day start to take control. His thoughts were stuck on his high school days, his mind beginning to drift off until sleep took control.

Idiot…


"See? I knew you could do it, Sousuke! And you doubted me!"

"Sousuke, I passed! I'm about halfway done until I can graduate. Then I can take my teacher's licensure exam!"

"You made it to the national team?! Sousuke, that's amazing! I knew you could do it!"

"Wow, so… that means you're going to be an Olympic athlete. Wow… my best friend, in the Olympics."

"Don't forget about me when you become famous, okay?"

"Sousuke."

"Sousuke!"

"Sou…"

.

.

.

"Is this Yamazaki Sousuke?"

Sousuke paused at hearing the unfamiliar voice on the other end of the line. He held the phone tightly in his grasp and swallowed, his brows pushed together. Why was his heart pounding so hard?

"Yeah, that's me."

His voice trembled. It usually never did that.

"I see. It seems that you are listed as an emergency contact for Tachibana Makoto," the woman said.

Sousuke stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, not bothering to apologize to the person who had bumped into his back. The words rapidly bounced around in his head before processing into his brain.

Emergency contact?

Yes, that was true.

But his parents were the first two on the list. Sousuke's name was third.

So…

How bad was this emergency that he had to be called?

"Do you recognize that name?" she asked.

"Y-Yes," Sousuke stuttered.

The world around him turned into white noise, the woman's voice on the other line the only voice sounding crystal clear.

"Okay. I am calling you to inform you that Tachibana-san has been involved in an accident and is currently in the hospital."

Sousuke's breath hitched, his heart jumping into his throat.

"W-What?"

...

Sousuke sucked in a violent breath of air as the dream faded. His eyes popped open to see the ceiling. For a moment, he was unsure of where he was and his hands patted the loose blankets around him. His eyes darted around the room until it landed on the digital clock on his nightstand.

It was close to four in the morning.

Ah, right. He was in his bedroom.

Once his heart had slowed down some, he sat up and rubbed his hands over his face. He could still hear the echoes of everything that changed their lives forever coming back to haunt him.

The drive to get his best friend's shell-shocked siblings.

The hospital.

Makoto's frantic voice when he found out about his parent's deaths.

That stupid funeral.

Sousuke heaved in another breath and wiped the sweat from his brow. He could still hear the strained tone of Makoto's voice shortly after the funeral, when Makoto had been barely released from the hospital.

"Makoto, you shouldn't be up walking around right now. You need to rest."

"But, Sousuke… I need to find a job. I have to be able to provide for my siblings."

"I know, but… I'm here, too. You can come and live with me."

"I… I can't do that, Sousuke. You just made it to the national team. We would be a burden to you."

"You're not a burden, Makoto! You could never be a burden. You're my best friend. I want to help you."

"Sousuke… I can't put that stress on you. Your apartment is too small for all of us, and we can't afford a new apartment."

"Well… what if your siblings lived with my parents while you go to school? You don't have to drop out."

"I… Sousuke… they're the only family I have left. I… I can't just let them go. They need me."

"Makoto…"

"I want them to stay with me. Please try to understand, Sousuke."

"W-Well… what if I asked my dad to help you to get a job?"

"A job?"

"Yeah, my dad could probably help you. He knows a lot of people in Tokyo."

"I… yeah. That… that sounds like a good idea."

"Okay. But… I still don't want you to take this on by yourself. I'm completely against it."

"I know, Sousuke. But, thank you. Thank you for caring about me."

Sousuke rubbed his face, desperately trying to shake the terrible memories away. He sighed.

If anyone was the idiot, it was him, not Makoto. He never should have let Makoto go off on his own. He should have forced Makoto to stay with him, regardless of what he wanted. They could have gotten a bigger apartment together, a big one enough for both of them and the twins.

Damn it, Makoto, Sousuke thought as he held his head in his hands. Why do you have to be so damned stubborn?

A soft buzz pulled Sousuke from his thoughts and he dropped his hands from his face. He glanced over to his phone, still abandoned on the far side of his bed, and he picked it up. His heart jumped when he saw it was a text from his best friend.

From: Makoto

Hi, Sousuke! Yeah, I know we need to talk, but I'll call you when we're both not too busy.

Too busy?

Sousuke immediately opened up a text to reply.

To: Makoto

Too busy? What the hell are you talking about, idiot? Just answer your phone.

In a small fit of frustration, Sousuke sent the text. After a few moments of rereading his own text, he sighed, realizing how harsh he had sounded. Now was not the time to take out his own frustrations on his fragile friend. He thought about their strange phone call the other night.

"I just… I need it."

"L-Listen, I can't talk about this now. Maybe some other time?"

"…Yeah, it will be. Just trust me. I can handle it."

He was lying.

Sousuke could recognize the lie in Makoto's voice. He took a few deep breaths and sent another text.

To: Makoto

I'm just worried.

He knew Makoto was probably asleep at this hour, so he tossed his phone aside and plopped back onto the pillow.

I really am worried, Makoto.


The next morning, Sousuke walked into his coach's office, his duffle bag in hand and a determined look on his face.

"Ah, Yamazaki. Good morning. You're here early," his coach said.

"Yeah. I wanted to talk about the schedule again," Sousuke said.

"Oh, of course. Let me look here."

The coach picked up a clipboard from his desk and flipped through a few pages, eyeing them carefully. His eyes flitted up and down the page and his free hand came up to rub his chin. When he found what he was looking for, his eyes lit up and he smiled softly.

"Ah, here it is! Yep, you're all cleared to take five days off," his coach said.

"When?" Sousuke asked.

"Oh, right. Uh… let's see, three weeks from Monday," his coach said.

Sousuke's brows furrowed, his hand clenching around the strap of his duffle bag.

"Three weeks," Sousuke repeated, his voice lowering. "Got it."