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Chapter 10: You are Not Alone

Year: 2183CE

Location: Feros Zhu's Hope

There were the two words Kaidan had come to fear in battlefields lately: Shepard's down.

"Shepard's down!" Wrex yelled out those exact words while shooting another Thorian creeper with his shotgun.

Kaidan immediately tossed a ball of biotic energy to knock down several creepers heading his way and rushed to the commander's side. Her shield was gone and her leg had been shot. Shepard winced in pain on the ground but still holding up her shotgun and blasting rounds at the creepers coming at her, ignoring the blood dripping from her wound.

"Commander!"

"I'm okay!"

"No, you're not." Kaidan cast another biotic force to clear the creepers around them and swept Shepard up in his arms.

"What the hell are you doing, Alenko? Put me down!"

Kaidan ignored her and rushed to the nearest tall cover before setting the commander down. Bright blue eyes glared at him in anger. But he knew it was the adrenaline in her vein and dismissed her glare. "Stay here, Commander."

"Like hell I am!"

"Stay. Here," he repeated firmly. "Let us handle this." He reached to her side and took the gas grenades.

"Hey, what're you doing?" She tried to get up using her good leg but her face contoured in pain. Still, she managed to swallow a scream.

Kaidan didn't like the condition of her injury at all. He took her hand and pressed it onto the bullet wound. Shepard winced and gasped.

"Sorry, but you have to keep pressing," Kaidan instructed. "Don't move, you'll lose more blood. I'll patch you up as soon as I can."

"I can fight!"

"I'm sorry, Commander." He let his biotics flowed through his finger tips and cast a stasis shell around her.

"ALENKO!"

"You'll be safe in there for a while." Kaidan rushed out to help clear the rest of the creepers.

"Shepard all right?" Wrex asked.

"For now," he answered between shots and biotic kicks.

"I'm going to kill all everything that hurts our Shepard," Wrex commented as he reloaded his shotgun.

The commander must have heard it through her earpiece. "No killing colonists, Wrex!"

Kaidan tossed another grenade at the colonists to neutralize them. It was hard enough to aim only at the creepers while taking fire from those mind-controlled thralls, it was doubly hard to keep track of the time left in his stasis field to make sure Shepard wouldn't sneak out to fight.

"Dr. T'Soni, stay with the commander and keep those creepers away. If she tries to run out, use stasis."

"I understand, Lieutenant," Liara replied.

"You're going to pay for this, Alenko!" said Shepard.

What concerned him was not the frustration in her voice, but the lack of the shape edge she normally had when she was angry. Shepard was weakening, and Kaidan was worried.

"You can kick my ass later, Commander." Kaidan tossed another grenade to the last group of colonists. The gas took a few seconds to start working, he ducked behind a cover to reload his gun.

"Man, there's no end to this thing," Ashley said through the radio.

"Free target practice!" said Wrex.

"Do NOT hit the colonists!" Shepard reminded not so kindly.

"Heard you the first time, Shepard!" The krogan battlemaster responded over gunshots.

"Don't worry, Commander, the colonists have been neutralized," Kaidan reported after shooting the remaining creepers around him.

"Not really, L-T," said Ashley, "there are some more shooting at me near the entrance! I'm out of those stupid grenades!"

Kaidan swore under his breath. "On my way. Wrex, cover Shepard."

Liara's biotics lifted a horde of creepers into the air in front of him. Wrex shot the helpless creatures as Kaidan ran passed them.

The doctor's gentle voice came through his earpiece. "Hold still, Commander. You are losing a lot of blood."

"No, Liara. I can still fight- Damn it!"

Kaidan could only imagine the frustration on Shepard's face when Liara put another stasis field on her. He didn't like the 'losing a lot of blood' bit of their conversation. He had to act fast.

"Right there, L-T." Ashley pointed at the four colonists shooting at them behind a cover. "Here, give me the grenade."

Kaidan handed it to her then lifted the approaching creepers with his biotics before shooting them down one by one.

Ashley tossed the grenade at the colonists with a shout, "Stop shooting at us, you idiots!"

The last four colonists soon fell into gas-induced coma behind their cover. "Sleep tight. Now we shoot!" Ashley started firing her shotguns at everything that moved.

Kaidan used his biotics one more time to knock the the remaining horde of creepers off their feet, buying Ashley more than enough time to kill every single one. "Finish them, Chief."

"No problem. Die already, you creeps!"

He rushed back to Shepard as fast as he could.

"All clear in this part," Garrus reported in through the radio. "No casualty, Commander."

"Good..." Shepard replied rather weakly. The knot in Kaidan's stomach tightened.

"That's the last one, Shepard," said Wrex over the sound of shotgun reloading.

It felt like hours to him, although it had been less than a few minutes since he had left her there. Shepard was still sitting on the ground, leaning against the cover. Liara's stasis field began to fade when he arrived. A pool of blood had formed around her, her skin ghostly pale. Bright blue eyes glared at him in silent, icy enough to send a chill down his spine if he wasn't preoccupied by overwhelming concern for her.

"I'm sorry, Commander. You told me to point out your mistakes, and I did," he explained evenly, keeping all his emotions in check. He had to remain calm, especially when she was angry.

Her expression softened almost immediately at that reminder. "Report?"

"No casualty. All colonists are unconscious. Creepers are dead. There's a console where that lady was guarding when we passed by early. I think that's the control to move the freighter."

"Tali," Shepard asked through her radio, "could you take a look at the console and see if you can find a way to move the freighter away?"

"Of course."

Kaidan knelt down beside her to check on the wound on her thigh. A bullet went through and through. It was a lucky shot, the bullet happened to hit the weakest spot of her armor.

"Why didn't you tell us your shield was down?" Kaidan asked after switching off his radio communication. Somehow, he wanted to keep his conversation with the commander private.

Shepard did the same before she answered, "I was too busy tossing grenades and shooting the creepers without hitting the colonists." Her breaths were shallow, her voice was weak.

He cleaned the wound as carefully and gently as he could before applying the medi-gel with a steady hand. His hands were busy, but his mind was not. Something was not right here. Someone as experienced as Shepard should be able to keep track on her shield level even when she was in the heat of the battle.

"I must have a giant red target painted on my chest and my back," Shepard mumbled offhandedly. "All those colonists seemed to love shooting at me-" She took a sharp breath at the pain when he moved her leg to tend to the exit wound.

"Sorry..." he mumbled an apology then proceeded with cleansing.

He would have rushed to her side and shielded her if she had told him her shield was down, then she wouldn't be hit by one of many bullets targeting her. Then, all of a sudden, realization hit him: she didn't tell him her shield status precisely because she didn't want anyone to be anywhere near her. She knew she was the preferred target of the colonists, and once again she was using herself as a bait to draw the fire and keep her team relatively safe. Only this time, it didn't work; a stray bullet got her.

He looked up briefly to study the commander. Her head leaned back against the crate supporting her, her eyes shut tight in a wince, her face covered with sweat from the pain. How could someone who was usually so deliberate in her actions be so reckless at times in battlefields? So strong in every way yet so vulnerable in rare moments like this?

She struggled to open her eyes. "Done?"

"Almost." He went back to work. "Off the record, Commander..."

"Mm?"

"You should stop using yourself as a bait," said Kaidan quietly as he began to seal the exit wound with medi-gel.

For a long time, Shepard didn't respond.

Last bit of the wound was sealed, blood stopped flowing out freely. Kaidan glanced up, half-expected to find those blue eyes glaring at him for stepping out of line. But what he found was her looking at him rather thoughtfully.

"Can't hide from you, can I?" she asked with a faint shake of her head.

He was quite proud of himself to be able to read her so well. "You don't have to hide from me." He adjusted her leg to a more comfortable position.

"...Perhaps not..." she replied so quietly it was almost as if she was talking to herself. She paused for a second before defending her action, "It was tactically sound."

"When your shield was still holding, maybe. But with everyone firing at you, your shield wouldn't last long."

Shepard didn't counter. Instead, she broke the gaze and remained quiet.

"You knew that."

"It was the best tactic at that moment. We didn't expect the creepers..." Shepard relaxed against the crate behind her.

Kaidan couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for grilling her when she was hurt. Even though she had laid down an open door policy, she was still his commanding officer. "I'm sorry, Commander, I didn't mean to question your judgment."

Her eyes, half-closed from exhaustion, locked onto his. "It's okay. You're just worried."

Kaidan was touched that she understood.

A hint of smile appeared on her face. "Did I give you a heart attack?"

He couldn't hold back a chuckle. "Almost, ma'am."

"Guess I have to try harder next time." She took a deep breath and shifted her injured leg. "Thanks for patching me up."

"You're welcome."

The bleeding had stopped, yet what she had already lost had made her too pale. Kaidan was sorely tempted to send her back to the Normandy, but he knew she wouldn't have it. Still, he had to try.

"Commander, you should head back to the Normandy. We'll take care of the Thorian."

"No."

"With all due respect, Commander, you've lost a lot of blood. You might not be fit for combat."

"This?" She glanced around to check out her own pool of blood. "It's nothing. I lost more in Elysium."

"You were by yourself then. You're not alone now; you have us."

When she looked at him once again, her gaze was soft, her smile softer. "I know you have my back, Kaidan. That's why I still can fight."

He wanted to say no to her, but he couldn't. Not because she was his commanding officer, but he couldn't seem to find the will to deny her, especially when she was looking at him like that. "Stay close to me, Commander. And, this time, let me know when your shield is down."

"Deal. Don't worry, Kaidan, if anything happened to me, you would patch me up again."

"I won't let anything happen to you," he vowed. His protective instinct somehow tended to magnify around her, he noticed, even though he knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself, so much so he would have his ass handed to him if they were ever in a fight.

For a split second, he thought she would be offended by his over-protectiveness, seeing it as an insult to her combat prowess. But the corners of her lips curled up slightly further. "I know... Let's finish this."

"Right. We need to get you back to the Normandy asap." Kaidan reached out to pull her up.

Once out of the cover, that glimpse of her softer side was gone in the blink of an eye. Shepard straightened up and went to Tali at the console with her shotgun in her hand and a limp on her leg.

"I got it, Aerin," said Tali as she used the control to open a path below.

"Good work, Tali. Stay here and guard this console, I don't want us to get trapped underneath this thing when we get back." Shepard surveyed the damages around her. "Garrus, Liara, help Tali. If there are any more creepers, kill them. When the colonists wake up, be careful. Make sure they are themselves, if not, gas them again." Before the commander could ask, Kaidan already handed the rest of the grenades to Garrus. Shepard continued, "The rest, come with me. Ashley, Wrex, shotguns ready. I doubt we've seen the last of those creepers. Kaidan, get ready to have some fun tossing them across the room."

Orders were given. With her gun in her hand, Shepard led the way down the previously hidden path. Kaidan followed her closely behind, keeping a close eye on her and ready to protect her this time before she could even ask.