"A drunken salesman
Your hearing damage
Your mind is restless
They say you're getting better
But you don't feel any better
Your speakers are blowing
Your ears are wrecking
Your hearing damage
You wish you felt better
You wish you felt better
You can do no wrong in my eyes." - "Hearing Damage" : Thom Yorke
Ana
I waited, expectant. I took a sip of my orange juice and stared at him.
He shrugged it off, "Just some old boxes and stuff." He replied calmly.
Liar.
"What kind of stuff?" I pressed.
He sighed, "Childhood stuff, boxes from my parents." He smiled and drank his coffee.
I nodded and stood, placing my bowl into the sink. I then turned and smiled sweetly at him, "I'm gonna shower." I nodded and left the kitchen, making my way down to his bedroom. I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath.
Liar. Fucking liar.
I opened the door to the en suite bathroom and dropped my robe to the floor, turned the shower on and stepped under the warm water.
I closed my eyes and let the water run down my face. That room. The things in that room. I shivered despite the steam and warmth.
There were things in that room I didn't want to remember, I didn't want to see again. And the pictures? Pictures of me. Other woman. I shivered again.
-
"Are you going home today?" He asked as we sat, cuddled on the sofa watching a movie.
I nodded, "Yeah." I had to go home. I couldn't spend another day here. I didn't even want to be in his arms. But I had to act as though everything was okay.
He kissed the top of my head and smiled, "I'll drop you off." He whispered. I nodded and kept my eyes on the screen. I was getting tired, getting bored.
He stroked my arm softly and continued to kiss my head every now and again. It made my stomach turn. I smiled and sat up, glancing at the clock, "I should probably go."I told him. He nodded, and soon enough we were in the car.
"Is Kate still being off with you?" He asked softly as he drove.
I shrugged and stared out of the window, "Not really." I replied. She had mellowed out. She decided that she wouldn't stay mad at me since she was now dating Christian's brother, Elliot. They did make a cute couple. I hardly ever saw her though. She was always out with him, staying over at his place. I was grateful for the peace and quiet but I missed her.
He pulled up outside the house and killed the engine.
"Do you want me to come inside? Make sure you're okay?" He suggested, smiling at me.
I shook my head. I didn't want to be near him right now, "No. It's okay." I leaned over and kissed him quickly. "I'll see you later." I whispered and then climbed out of the car.
I shut the door behind me and locked it. I went straight to bed. I turned the lights off, turned my cell off and closed my eyes.
I was in love with a liar. A sado-masochist. And he was too afraid to tell me. But I couldn't change that. I couldn't change him. I was in love with him regardless.
Christian
I dropped her off at her house and waited until she had closed the door before I drove off.
I had to see her. I sparked up a joint and smoked it while I was on my way to hers.
Again, she answered the door quickly. I entered and instead of going up to her playroom, we sat in the lounge.
"She knows about it." I told her.
Elena nodded and chewed her thumbnail, "Have you asked her or said anything?"
"I lied. Told her it was a room with boxes and pointless shit."
"You have to tell her."
"I don't want to be like that with her though." I told her. I didn't. I loved Ana. I really fucking did. And I knew I had to stop running to Elena, I knew I had to stop fucking her. I knew it.
"You want pure...passionate and real love?" Elena rolled her eyes, "If you really wanted that, you wouldn't be here every other night. You wouldn't be fucking me the way you wish you could fuck her."
She was right. Entirely right. But I couldn't stop. I was addicted. I was addicted to Elena.
I stayed silent, watching the fire. She sighed and came over to me, sat on my knee and kissed me.
I let her. I had no choice. I was a dick.
"You know you should stop this, Christian." She mumbled, running her hand through my hair. "But you can't, can you?"
I groaned. She smirked and unbuttoned my shirt, "Face it Christian, you need me." She purred, biting my lip. I groaned again.
I did. I needed her like I needed fucking air.
I looked back to her naked frame and smirked. She was beautiful.
Her eyes were closed and she was breathing peacefully. I kissed her forehead softly and pulled on my jeans. I had to leave.
It had just gone 5am and I had to be at the office soon. I pulled my shirt on and quickly buttoned it before I did 'the walk of shame' and left in my car.
12pm
I checked my cell and frowned. No calls or texts from Ana. Was she okay?
I pressed 'call' and held the phone to my ear. It went straight to voicemail. What the fuck?
I leaned back in my chair and sighed deeply, rubbing my forehead.
Standing, I grabbed my cell and keys.
The door opened and I turned.
Elena.
She was crying.
I frowned and walked over to her, taking her hand and leading her to the seats by the window, "Elena...what's wrong?" I whispered.
She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself, "I'm pregnant."
