Chapter 11 Why now?
6 weeks later
'Why now, why not before, then I might have been able to keep him', the thought was twirling through her head. No! She couldn't have kept him that way, she wasn't like that anymore. She had let a man close enough to even have the remote possibility of being pregnant. She looked down at the test again and saw the blue line. Jac Naylor was pregnant.
She got up and flushed the loo. Jac pushed open the door and put her head in her hands. The promised tears did not come. She had cried herself out, all the night thinking about him, and what could have been. He had a son now; his duty was to Harry, not his pregnant ex. He probably didn't even care about her anymore. She pulled out his pager. She spun it in her fingers. It was a link to him, the only link after she had told him, in their first phone call that it would be easier to move on if all contact was severed. She looked at the label with his name on. After everything that had gone before, all the hurt, all she had left of him was a pager and his unborn child.
She walked back on to Darwin, her mask back in place. How could she of been so stupid, what would they say about her? 'She probably doesn't even know the father's name' and all sorts. But she did know his name. Joseph Byrne was going to be a father again and Jac Naylor was going to be a mother.
4 weeks later
Jac was getting bad morning sickness and her pregnancy was getting harder and harder to conceal, from her colleagues. She was on the ward talking a patient through a procedure. "Sign there Miss Macalister." She turned around to walk away when the new F1 came crashing down the corridor. Bang. Jac was on the floor, writhing in pain. There was a crippling pain in her stomach. She was losing the baby; she just knew she was losing the baby. "Jac, Jac? Are you alright?" Sasha was standing over her. "Jac? Right get a trolley. This is more serious than we think."
10 minutes later Jac was being monitored in a side room. "What's wrong Jac? You've got to tell us, sooner or later." Sasha said, in a mock angry tone. Jac shook her head again. "Please Jac." His tone had softened. "Christ, where do I start?" Sasha looked at her. "At the beginning?" Sasha said, helpfully. "Right, the start. I'm in love Sasha, that's where this all started. Joseph." Saying his name aloud took quite a lot of effort. "When he left, I was a mess, a complete utter mess. He's always had that effect on me." She laughed, but it was a hollow laugh. "I'm pregnant." She whispered. Sasha almost jumped out of his skin. Then, just as Sasha was going to speak, a nurse came in. "I've got Ms Naylor's bloods back." Sasha held out a hand and picked them up. "Nurse could you leave me and Ms Naylor alone for a bit please?" The nurse nodded and left. "You're right, you're pregnant. 10 weeks. Joseph's?" Sasha spoke slowly. "Of course it flipping Joseph's!" She shouted. Sasha nodded.
"There, Jac, is you're little baby." Sasha said, gliding the ultrasound over her tummy. "Beautiful." Sasha said. "I don't know what to do." Sasha smiled. "Maybe phoning this little one's dad might help?" Jac shook her head. "What if he doesn't want it, I mean he's already got Harry and I can't break up his new life." Sasha just nodded. "Will you stop doing that?" "What?" Jac rolled her eyes. "Just nodding, not speaking."
She took her phone out and dialled the number he had given her. "Hello, Patford House surgery, how can I help?" God, he hadn't told her it was the surgery number. She slammed the phone down. What was she going to do now?
