Chapter Eleven

Arthur and Merlin were standing by a fence at a horse ranch.

"Ever ridden before?" Arthur asked, looking at Merlin.

"When I was really small, the family that Will and I lived with, they took us to Griffin Park and we rode the ponies," Merlin replied as he looked at the horses nervously before looking back at Arthur, "I don't know if that counts."

Arthur chuckles before saying, "Yeah, just think of this as a really big, um … pony."

"Ok."

"You need a leg up?" Arthur asked.

"I think not," Merlin answered before confidently walking over to a horse and climbing on the back of one.


They rode through the woodlands talking.

"You really love this, don't you?" Merlin asked as he looked over at Arthur.

"I don't know how to describe what this means to me." Arthur looked at Merlin before he looked away and continued, "When I was seven, I had a horse, he was amazing. His name was Joker. He was three years old, barely broke. We kind of grew up together. There's this bond that can develop between a horse and a rider. It doesn't always happen, but when it does, it's … special."

"What kind of bond?"

Arthur looked at him, and smiled sadly, before saying, "Ah, it's about trust. I never trusted anyone in my life the way I trusted Joker. And he trusted me to take care of him."

Merlin looked at him, before asking, "What happened to him?"

"I finally had to do the last thing he needed from me," Arthur answered, as they stopped riding. He looked at Merlin as he said, "Put him down before he suffered too much."

"I'm sorry."

"Hardest thing I have ever done," Arthur answered honestly.

"But you loved him enough to do it. It takes a special kind of courage, I think."

"I've never talked about that with anyone," Arthur said, smiling lightly at Merlin.

Merlin smiled back and said, "I'm glad you told me."


The two of them walked back to Merlin's apartment.

"I had a really nice time," Merlin said as they stopped outside his door.

"It was truly my pleasure," Arthur said, honesty in his eyes.

"I hope you do ok in that class."

"You did your part," Arthur said, before saying with uncertainty, "the rest is up to me."

Merlin smiled before turning to open the door.

"Say," Arthur said quickly, "why don't we go to dinner tonight? Just the two of us."

Merlin looked at him before saying with uncertainty, "I don't know."

"To celebrate"

"We celebrated."

"Come on, Merlin, it's just dinner," said Arthur nervously. "Please say yes."

Merlin smiled as he said, "Yes," before turning and going inside.

Arthur smiled as he watched him go.


Later that night Will and Mordred sat on the sofa. A knock at the door interrupts them and Will goes to answer.

"Hi," he said when he saw Arthur standing there.

"Hello," said Arthur with slight surprise. "I'm Arthur."

"The wannabe lawyer," Will said, with a knowing smile. "I'm his brother. Come on in."

"Arthur," Mordred shouted, as he ran over to him.

"Hey buddy," Arthur said smiling as Mordred hugged him.

"Can we go to the park again sometime?"

"You bet."

Will smiled watching them and then shouted, "Merlin! He's here!" before turning to Arthur. "He'll be right out."

"Ok," Arthur said as Mordred went back to the sofa.

Merlin walked out of his room, dressed in a nice dress shirt and trousers.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," Arthur replied, almost speechless.

"Am I dressed alright for where we're going?" Merlin asked nervously.

"Yeah, you look, um … You look beautiful."

Will and Mordred grinned as Merlin smiled at Arthur.


Merlin and Arthur were walking in the grounds of a Country Club towards the entrance.

"It's beautiful here," Merlin said quietly as he looked around him. "It's nice to be out of the city."

"And the food is out of this world," Arthur said excitedly.

"Do you come here all the time?" Merlin asked.

"It's a private club," Arthur answered. "My grandfather was a member, then my father and now me."

Merlin looked at him nervously, "Am I gonna fit in?"

"No," Arthur said smiling, as he turned to Merlin. "You stand out."

"So, do you have brother and sisters?"

"Nope, only child."

"Must have been lonely growing up," Merlin said sadly.

"It just means everything's riding on me, so my father loves to remind me," Arthur confided.

"But he was there for you, right?" Merlin asked. "I mean he didn't run out on you or anything." Arthur looked at him with a confused expression. "I never met my father," Merlin explained. "Did your dad ever just … hold you, make you feel safe?"

"It's not exactly how we do things where I'm from," Arthur confessed with a sad smile.

"I always wondered what that would be like," Merlin whispered.

"Me too."


Arthur and Merlin walked into the club, as Gwaine came around the corner.

"Hey, Arthur," he said cheerfully.

"Hey, Gwaine," Arthur replied in surprise. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to movie tonight."

"No, change of plans," he explained before turning to Merlin. "I'm Gwaine. I go to law school with Arthur. We're roommates."

"Merlin Emrys," Merlin said with a look recognition. "I believe you recommended me for a job."

"Oh."

"Yeah, don't, er, don't go there," Arthur broke in quietly. He turned to Gwaine. "Well, I'm sure you're meeting someone, so we don't want to keep you."

"Nope. I'm all alone."

"Great," Arthur cheered with a tight smile. "Ok, well, why don't you see if you can snag us a table for three and you can join us."

"Ok great," Gwaine said he turned away. "I'll be right back."

"Cool."

"Great."

Arthur suddenly turned to Merlin and said quietly. "Do you wanna go somewhere a little less stuffy."

"Yes," Merlin replied immediately.

They both turned and left quickly.


They sat outside a taco van, eating and drinking coffee.

"That was delicious," Merlin commented. "How d'you find these guys?"

"Well, er, they move around a lot but they text regularly to let us know where they're gonna be," Arthur said. "Gwaine and I would go on taco runs when our brains were ready to explode from studying," he explained at the confused look on Merlin's face.

"Amazing. Never figured you as a taco truck kinda guy," Merlin said jokingly.

"Really? Well apparently you didn't know me as well as you thought you did."

"Ok, tell me something else I don't know."

Arthur thought about it for a moment before saying, "I can't do anything I want with my life."

Merlin looked at him in surprise before saying, "But you're about to graduate law school. You're gonna be an amazing lawyer. You could be a judge. You could make it all the way to Supreme Court."

"Pendragons don't become judges," Arthur informed Merlin quietly, "it doesn't pay enough. The thing is, that is not my father's plan. I grew up knowing what was expected of e and that I'd better live up to it."

"You're a pretty smart guy. I bet you could get passed that."

"You would actually have to know what you want first."

"I guess I can understand that," Merlin admitted. "I've spent my whole life making sure that the people I love are ok, first Will and now Mordred. I've never actually thought about what I wanted."

Arthur looked at him confusedly. "Will is what … a couple of years younger than you. Surely you didn't have to take care of him."

"I did," Merlin said quietly. He took a sip of coffee before continuing. "He was eight, I was ten and we moved into a new foster home. They were amazing," he said smiling, "it was a much nicer place than we'd ever been, but they could only keep one of us permanently. They had a really hard time deciding, so I helped them."

"How did you do that?"

"I went to a store and I stole a trinket. It wasn't really a big deal," he said with a shrug, "but it was enough to get me in trouble. They chose Will."

"Why did you do that?"

"Cause he was just a kid, you know? I didn't think he could handle moving again, 'specially if he ended up someplace bad."

"But you were just a kid, too, Merlin."

"I don't remember being a kid," Merlin whispered honestly.

"Me either."

Merlin took another sip of coffee before looking at Arthur and saying, "You asked me once if I had a dream, and I do." He took a breath before continuing with a sad smile. "Sometimes Mordred and I would go to the emergency room and there'll be a nurse there, who'll be especially kind and makes him feel good. I wish I could do that."

Arthur gave him a sad smile. "Sounds like a worthy dream."


Arthur walked Merlin back to his door.

"Well, thank you," Merlin said as they came to a stop, "for everything."

"That sounds like a goodbye. We'll see each other again."

"Sure. At the Country Club or when we summer in the Hampshire," Merlin replied jokingly.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant," Merlin said, "but what would the point be?"

"I don't know. I thought we had a really good time tonight."

"We did. Let's just leave it at that."

"Merlin, I don't wanna …"

"We're just …" Merlin interrupted. "We're too different."

"See, I thought we were," Arthur said, moving towards Merlin, "but now I know better."

"What do we have in common?" Merlin asked, looking down.

"Come on, Merlin, take a chance."

Merlin looks up, making eye contact with Arthur, whispered, "Goodnight," before turning and unlocking the door.

Merlin went inside, looking back at Arthur before closing the door. Arthur watched him go and continued to stand outside looking at the closed door, while Merlin leant against the inside.