eleven.
She stood in the house, resting against the kitchen table. She didn't move. She didn't speak. There was no expression on her face. She showed no emotion as Lucas sprinted into the house, grabbing Haley into a hug. She watched as a worried Peyton and a teary-eyed Brooke entered, both hugging her tight, grasping her hands, comforting her with words she didn't even hear. She was questioned by police and answered in indifferent one-word replies. Everything moved around her in slow motion while she stood still in the middle of it all, unable to stop it.
"Haley!" The familiar voice was the first thing to evoke a feeling in her for hours, but she showed no sign of it on her face.
Nathan ran into the house and collided into his wife. And Haley, who had been refusing to let any of this in, numbing herself to anything other than the remains of the fear that gripped her, was hit by a wave of emotion in Nathan's arms. The second his face was visible, she was okay. The moment she was enclosed in his arms, she was safe.
His eyes were terrified, angry, saddened, protective, shocked, defeated, hopeless, loving, panic-stricken. He frantically searched her for injuries, his face melting as he found bruise after bruise on her arms. She neglected to mention that the worst of them he hadn't seen yet. "Oh, God, Haley." His voice was thick and he repeated her name over and over as he held her against him. He pulled her as close as the laws of physics would allow while being carefully gentle. Haley held onto the safety and comfort she felt in his arms for dear life while Nathan took deep breaths and focused on her, the feel of her in his arms immediately silencing all the voices screaming in his head.
Haley summoned the strength to utter the first complete thought to come from her mouth. "How did you get here?" she asked quietly, and didn't notice Lucas, Peyton, and Brooke's sighs of relief at hearing her speak. "You were hours away, I called you…" she struggled to count how long it was since she'd spoken to him in a panic on the phone. It was certainly much less than hours.
"So maybe I drove a little fast. I had to get to you, Hales."
She nodded and rested her head against Nathan, needing the peace of being in his arms—the only place she fit perfectly in this world.
*****
Nathan walked into their bedroom that night and couldn't help but smile at what he saw. Jamie was curled against his mother, sleeping with the comfort that only she could provide. She held painfully tight onto her son, one arm around his middle holding him to her and the other stroking the back of his head. "I just needed him," she explained in a whisper, his gaze meeting hers. He quietly climbed into the bed, kissing the top of Jamie's head and then solidly kissing Haley's lips, not in passion, but in love and security. "I know."
Lying down, he put both arms around Haley, holding tightly to his wife, their unborn child, and Jamie who was sandwiched between them. Although he wanted to convince Haley they were safe no matter what, he himself found himself pulling Haley closer to him, just because. He would not take his eyes off of her as she drifted to sleep, still clinging to Jamie, and watched her eyelids flutter and listened to the pattern of her breathing like it was the most beautiful sound in the world, and it was. He blinked through the wetness in his eyes that blurred his vision when he thought of what had happened to her, how he could have lost her—all because he hadn't been there, he didn't protect her. Seven years ago he had promised that he would always be there for her, always protect her, and he had failed. The woman he loved more than anything laying there before him had gone through so much pain and fear and it was his fault. His eyes refocused when he felt her hand against his face. Her thumb smoothed the creases in his brow and she looked at him, wordlessly telling him everything he needed to hear.
"I'm scared," she whispered, knowing he needed a distraction.
"Haley, baby, you're okay, you're safe, I promise you." His hand lifted to lie on her cheek.
She leaned into his touch and shook her head, her mouth tightening the way it did when she was fighting tears. "I know that, I do. I'm—I'm scared for our baby."
He looked at her in sadness but with complete understanding, it was a feeling he'd been getting too. "Come here." He pulled her up, but she reacted instantly and put her hand on Jamie's arm. "No. I don't want to leave him."
"We won't. We'll be right here, he's safe."
He led her to their rocking chair across from the bed and she sat on his lap, her head falling on his shoulder. "You have no reason to be scared. Our baby is going to be healthy and beautiful," he said persistently, his voice low so as not to wake up Jamie.
"But the doctor said—"
"I know what the doctor said. But he also said that in your situation most fetuses would not have lived through what happened to you. And little no name here," he placed a hand on her slightly swelled stomach, "did. And it scares the hell out of me that the chances of miscarriage and stillbirth are increased, but they're still chances. Come on Hales, we can beat those odds, you know we can."
Wanting to believe him with all her heart, she placed her hand on top of his. "You're right. We're gonna make it baby," she whispered to her stomach and placed her hand on top of his.
Looking at her peaceful smile, the trail of thought he had been following before again pulled at him and a knot formed in his stomach. "Haley," he started.
She tilted her head still on his shoulder and her deep chocolate eyes awaited his statement. "I can't lose you," he choked.
"You won't."
"But I almost did. And I'm so sorry I wasn't there, it's my fault, I'm so sorry, I—"
"Nathan," she stopped him. "You didn't lose me. Baby, this wasn't your fault--no one could have known." He began to object but she shook her head. "Remember what you told me after I thought I'd lost you? It was the only thing that could comfort me, you said you were right there. Well I'm right here, Nathan. And I'm safe, and I'm yours, and I'm not going anywhere, okay?"
He nodded. It was amazing, the effect her words could have on him.
*****
Nathan was two steps ahead of Haley that morning, nearly annihilating the newspaper's account of the attack and getting rid of anything that would have reminded her of what happened. She was being amazingly brave and strong, but he knew she was still affected by it.
"Momma, more please!" Jamie banged his plastic cup on the table three times. Three times. That was the amount of times it had taken him to break in...
Frantically Haley ran through the house, locking doors and windows. Her shaking hands fumbled with her cell phone to dial Nathan's number. No answer. She then dialed Lucas' house. No answer. Her blood began to boil as she called Luke's cell, Peyton's cell, Skills, Mouth. None answered. Dammit! Where the hell are they? her mind screamed. Her fingers flew across the numbers to dial 911. She basically whispered the words she had said, something about someone circling her house and calling her last name. She ducked down below the windowsill away from his view when he looked up. "No, it's not someone I know!" she hissed with frustration and straightened her legs to look out the window. When she saw what was in his hand she cupped her hand to her mouth to keep from screaming. "Please, he has a gun, please!" No comfort came from being told a car was on its way. She sunk down to her knees and wrapped her arms around herself, completely unable to believe this was happening to her. When her hands unconsciously found their way to her stomach, a feeling of fierce protection surged through her, and anger took the place of her helpless fear. She couldn't stop herself from jumping when a loud thud reverberated through the house. Shaking, she stood and ran into the kitchen, rummaging through drawers until she found it. Her eyes looked in horror as she watched herself pick up the knife laying in the drawer. Her hands shook, but when another earth shattering noise came from outside the house her grip tightened on it. She didn't know if she could even use it when push came to shove, but it was something. Maybe she could just scare him with it. Clenching both her eyes and her mouth shut, she braced herself for whatever was to come when a final bang reached her ears and she watched the man with unkempt and greasy black hair, grayish eyes, wrinkled black t-shirt, and ripped jeans enter her house.
She jumped and gasped when she felt two hands gripping her shoulders. "Haley," Nathan said comfortingly, "you're safe." Still dazed, Nathan pulled his trembling wife into his arms. After a few moments had passed, she painted on a smile and looked at him. "I know. Now let's get you some more of that juice, Jimmy-Jam!" Jamie smiled but Nathan watched every move Haley made, his eyes laced with worry.
Haley's head snapped toward the door when the doorbell rang, and Nathan went to get it, comfortingly brushing her arm with his hand as he passed her. Peyton stood at the doorway, Anna on her hip, and Lucas was behind her, Keith's bassinet in one arm and a basket in the other. "Hey, Nate!" Peyton said, smiling as he opened the door. "We thought you guys could use some fun so we decided to have a Scott family picnic!" Glancing behind him to check for Haley, who was nowhere to be seen, she lowered her voice.
"How's she doing?"
Nathan shrugged. "She's doing amazing, actually. But it left a scar, she's a little jumpy, be careful with her." She nodded and lifted her baby girl in her arms. "Alright, sweetie, let's go see Auntie Haley!"
Lucas stepped up behind her and greeted Nathan. "You sure she's okay?" the worried best friend asked.
"Yeah, man, she's stronger than I give her credit for, and I give her a lot of credit."
"That's Hales."
The two brothers shared a look when they walked in on a tight hug between their wives. "Peyton, let her go, she can't breathe!"
Haley chuckled when Peyton, who wiped her eyes and muttered an apology, released her.
"She missed her godmother," Peyton smiled and handed Haley Anna, who cooed when Haley lightly tickled her and exclaimed, "She's getting so big!"
"Oh, I know, don't start, I'll end up crying! Well, harder than I already am." Peyton laughed and picked up Keith. Glancing around the room and at the windows and doors, Lucas pulled Nathan into the kitchen away from their families.
"So I know Haley's doing okay, but how are you?"
"I don't know man, I'm putting on this 'everything's okay face' for Haley, but I'm so angry. I could kill him, what he did to her—" his mouth pursed and his nostrils flared just thinking about it. "I know I'm supposed be this better guy or whatever, but I swear to God if anyone ever gets near her again…"
"I know, but she's alright now. Focus on that." Nathan nodded, trying to get rid of the rage coursing through him. "Hey, um, what about the baby?"
Nathan hung his head. "I don't know. The doctor said it doesn't look too good, but it's been okay so far. I mean it has to be a good sign that nothing's happened yet right? I'm just scared sh!tless. It would kill Haley, and me too. I didn't think you could love something—someone—that's not even here yet so much, but I do and I can't imagine if…"
"It's gonna work out, Nate."
"I hope so." Putting on a brave face, Nathan and Lucas walked back into the room and were greeted by smiles from Haley and Peyton.
"Brooke just called, she can't make it for lunch but she's coming later."
"Alright, well let's eat!"
In the kitchen, Haley searched for the ketchup that Jamie just needed for his hotdog when her hand brushed across a spot on the cabinet...
She screamed when she felt his fist slam into her face and she stumbled backward. "You thought it would be so great, didn't you? Being a whole happy family again, how sweet." he snarled at her, slamming her down to land facedown, but she twisted to land on her back. She knew what would happen if she fell on her stomach. And she was going to protect this baby, she wouldn't be the reason it didn't get a chance to live. Feeling a bead of warm wetness coming from her head where it slammed against the corner of the cabinet, she looked down at her hand and saw that it was blood. Her eyes refocused on him when she felt something cold press against her forehead. "You don't get to have him back if I don't," he said angrily, pressing the gun harder into her skin. Too terrified to be confused at his words, she prayed for her baby, for Jamie, for Nathan. Her chattering jaw dropped when police sirens rang from outside the house and he put the gun back in his pocket, turning away from her. "You'll pay for this," he growled. She leaned her head against the wall, breathing heavily as he watched him retreat and tried to calm her ignited insides and ran outside to the police.
"Tutor soon-to-be Mom of two, where are you?" Brooke sang, breaking Haley from her trance. She exhaled upon seeing Haley and pulled her into a hug. "You okay?" she asked.
Haley responded with a quick nod. "Yeah, I'm okay now. Let's go." They walked out towards their friends with Brooke's arm around Haley.
"Keith realllllllly likes me, Momma," Jamie said excitedly. "I'm pretty sure I'm his favorite cousin.
Haley chuckled and ruffled his hair. "Oh, definitely."
"And I think my brother or sister is gonna like me too! And we're gonna be best friends, right Momma?"
Haley swallowed and looked down at her plate. So Nathan put his hand on her leg and cut in, "Yeah, Jamie. You are. You'll be an awesome big brother when this kid gets here."
