Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters depicted in this story. All rights for the Final Fantasy series are reserved by Square Enix


Chapter 11

"The mind may forget"


I stare groggily at the moon shadowed ceiling for a few moments, slowly brushing aside the mental cobwebs that linger from sleep. Sighing, I run blanket warmed hands over my face, to chase away any lingering tears. Is it sad that waking in such a state is a norm for me? Shifting off the couch, I walk on silent feet, tiptoeing into the kitchen for a glass of water to sooth my bone dry throat. As I pass the bedroom door my feet stop moving, frozen in place as I resist looking toward the object of my fascination. Warmed from sleep, my flesh breaks out in goose flesh as it cools rapidly thanks to the chilly temperature of the room. Clenching my jaw tightly, I resolutely force my feet to move again. I don't bother with any lights, knowing my way through the small flat by heart. Yawning, I pull a glass down and gently start the tap. Carting my drink back toward the couch, I pause as the bedroom door catches my attention once more. It stands slightly ajar, starlight creeping around the crack.

Everyone has bad dreams.

Growing up, every child has heard this from one adult or another. It's a phrase used to soothe children's' overwrought nerves and calm turbulent tear ducts. I myself am more familiar with the entity known as "Nightmare". Young and old, man and woman, no one will go their entire life without at least one. If one wanted to put it into medical terms, they are an unpleasant dream that can cause a strong negative emotional response from the mind, typically fear or horror, but also despair, anxiety and great sadness. The dream may contain situations of danger, discomfort, psychological or physical terror. Sufferers usually awaken in a state of distress and may be unable to return to sleep for a prolonged period of time. Some say that eating before going to sleep, will trigger an increase in the body's metabolism and brain activity, causing a potential stimulus for nightmares. Studies of dreams have estimated that about 75% of dream content or emotions are negative.

It was something my mother used to study extensively in order to find a cure for the night terrors I suffered.

As a child, I'd experienced many different nightmares ranging over a vast range of emotion, so my mother and I knew a lot on the subject.

For instance did you know the words roots? The word mare derives from a mythological demon that torments human beings with frightening dreams. Later the word night was added to differentiate it from a female horse.

Somehow though, statistics aside, I never expected my gunman to suffer from them too.

I don't know what processed me that one night to go into my room. I'd woken from a restless sleep, and just…had a feeling that he needed me- which of course I realize is ridiculous. You can't feel someone's need, even if I was so bold as to imply he needed me. I doubt I'd be the person he'd turn to in such a time. In fact I doubt he'd even welcome my worry and care. But that hadn't shaken my feeling and so I'd gotten up off the couch and crept into my room. It was at that moment that I'd made my discovery.

I'm not ashamed to admit I was a little shocked. After all he doesn't seem the type. So calm and aloof, emotions so controlled, if anyone could influence their dreams, it would be him. Actually with just appearances he seemed the type that wouldn't dream at all. But that night, as I'd watched his features twisted so slightly in pain, hair clinging damply to his cheeks, I made the discovery that he is just as human as the rest of us. Just as prone to vulnerability in the darkest hours of the night. Somehow, instead of disillusioning me, I found the fact heartbreakingly endearing; a common trait to link us, no matter how sad.

I'd knelt by the bed and moving slowly so as to not wake him, I'd taken his calloused palm into my own. Slim pale fingers twitched inside my gentle grasp, the muscles in his arm tensed in preparation to fight for their freedom.

But I'd stayed still, holding my breath in hope and eventually when meeting no resistance, he'd relaxed.

Was it egotistical to think my being there helped him? Probably, would be the most likely answer...and I found myself sneaking toward the dark recesses behind the bedroom door.

Remembering how I found him in the midst of his nightmares, makes my heart ache with sympathy even as my cheeks flush remembering how bold it'd been to hold a sleeping stranger's hand. Reflexively my fingers clench around the cool class. Normally it's not an action I'd find myself doing- especially since this particular man has made it clear over and over, that he wishes to maintain a careful distance.

Such liberties felt like an invasion of his space. What had processed me to do such a thing? I couldn't find a viable excuse. Maybe it was because after my mother's death I'd wished for a hand to hold during those rougher nights.

Stupid why would he need you of all people.

The ever present doubt in my heart whispered in the recesses of my head. My eyes drift closed as my lips tremor. "This is ridiculous," I whisper to myself, turning as if to run from my own thoughts. "I should just go back to sleep."

But that fact that he'd calmed immediately at my touch had been a surprise that remained fact.

Toes frozen against the bare hardwood floor, I wavered once more.

Could he be having more bad dreams? Should I check on him? Torn by natural the natural curiosity I always felt for him, and the voice that said to respect his privacy, I felt myself drawn despite myself to the door. Ear pressed to the wood to determine the state inside, with a now cooled hand I gently push to door inward.

No turning back. I swallowed thickly before I resolutely straightened my shoulders. No one has to know right?

With a guilty heart I swept into the room, closing the door softly behind me, and with it, my doubts.


TBC...


So Ive been neglecting my writing for too long now. Has it already been a year? There really arent any excuses for my absence. Life got hectic and I havent been able to come up with anything that feels right for the continuation of this story. So I decided to stop over thinking it and sit down and just write. I know this isnt much, and you all have been so patient and lovely with your reviews that I feel you deserve so much more, but Im a little dried up on inspiration plot wise. BUT! I am not going to abandon this story, so no worries there the progress just might not pick up. My new years resolution is to try and give you guys a little something at least once every other week in 2014.

Happy New Years everyone, and thank you to everyone who sent me such lovely reviews. You made my heart feel warm. Also thank you to the readers who dont review as well. Even if you dont review seeing the counter go up still makes me happy.

With love

Addicted.