A/N: this is a filler chapter , so I'm sorry if it's a little short. also I just got down to watching the season 4 trailer and pennsatucky sounds so sad and lorna is crying a lot and NICKY STILL ISN'T BACK so in summation THE TRAILER HAS FUCKED ME UP REAL BAD AND I'M NOT READY FOR THE NEXT SEASON

also thank you all so much for over 1000 reads ! I honestly never thought I'd get this far , especially since this story was borne from a lot of post-season 3 sobbing and ranting. thanks for all your support and the lovely reviews and I love each and every single one of you and once again , thank you all so much ! :)


"Well I'd go anywhere, anywhere, anywhere,

ask me and I will be there

you just ask me and I will be there."

-Stevie Nicks / Sara


chapter 11: haircut

Later that day, Nicky was lying in her bunk, one of Red's jackets tied around her neck. Morello could tell that it was Red's, as Nicky was taking extra care not to crease it. Also, it smelled distinctly like Red's perfume. Underlying it was Nicky's scent: cigarette smoke and soap. She could just barely detect it, if she got close enough. Vaguely, Morello wondered where she had gotten the cigarettes, and decided not to ask. The less she knew, the less she could blurt out in a fit of rage.

Morello felt bad, for simply sitting there while Nicky and Red walked out. She wanted to run after that, but if she did she'd have run out on her husband, which she didn't want to do. The rest of the time she and Vincent spent together was awkward, as both of them were trying their absolute best not to talk about the scene they had just witnessed.

When they finally gave in and talked about it, Morello ended up blabbing Nicky's entire history with her mother to Vincent, and had regretted it soon after. It felt wrong, somehow. Like Nicky had entrusted her with one the deepest, darkest parts of her soul, and she had spilled everything to an outsider who only knew her from Morello's words. She also felt awful for thinking of her husband as an outsider.

Morello also felt incredibly guilty, because after that Red had held Nicky in silence while she clung to her, and she hadn't done anything for her at all, despite her promise. Morello had a lot of feelings, and not a whole lot she could do about it.

"I just wanted to say I'm proud of you, for standing up to your mom. At least you've got Red." Morello said, walking into her bunk and giving her an abrupt hug. Nicky smiled humorlessly. "Thanks, kid. But honestly, Red's not my mom. Not anymore. She deserves someone better." She replied. "You're the one she wants." Morello said gently. "Me? I'm a fuck-up, kid. Who's fault was it that I went to max? My own."

"You're not a fuck-up, Nicky. Don't say that." Morello begged. Nicky didn't respond. "Remind me to remove Marka from my visitation list." She said, her voice emotionless. "Done." Morello promised. She watched Nicky lounging around on her bed, inhaling the scent of Red's perfume clinging to the jacket. Her expression was blank, her eyes hard.

An idea struck Morello, and she brightened. "How about we go fix your hair up?" She asked excitedly. Nicky looked at her blankly. "Whenever I'm sad, I like dollin' up to feel better." Morello smiled in a sultry way, twirling her hair around her finger. Her other hand wandered down to Nicky's long, tangled locks of brown hair, absently running her fingers through the curly strands.

"But Sophia's not here." Nicky pointed out. "Yes, but I'll be the one fixing your hair!" Morello said enthusiastically, tugging at her arm. "Probably a bad idea, kid. Remember when you tried to give Vause a trim but ended up giving her a pixie cut?" Nicky reminded her. Morello laughed out loud.

A long time ago, back when she'd first arrived at Litchfield, she spent the majority of her days feeling down and moping around, so one day, Vause offered to let her cut her hair to cheer her up, since she loved dolling up and dolling others up. She kept trying to braid Nicky's curly hair, but Nicky said no every time. Morello and Vause had adjourned to the bathrooms, where Morello had taken a pair of scisorss loaned from Sophia with the price of a small tube of brand new moisturiser, and had accidentally chopped off half of Vause's long, silky black hair. She only managed to clear up her mess by giving Vause a pixie cut, an arrangement the black-haired girl was not happy about.

"C'mon, I promise I'll be careful." Morello pleaded, widening her eyes. Nicky sighed and gave in, following her to the bathroom. Morello slid a broken shard of mirror from behind a loose brick, and stood behind Nicky, who was only slightly taller than her. Morello had managed to obtain the shard when she accidentally smashed a mirror while wiping it and found a particularly long, sharp piece that she decided to hold on to in case of any emergencies.

"Could you kneel down instead?" Morello suggested, and Nicky obliged. She rolled up her pants and got on her knees, her forehead resting against the sink. The tiny girl set to work, carefully sawing off the choppy edges of Nicky's hair, making sure the Alex Vause Pixie Cut Fiasco would not be having a rerun.

"Why'd you cut it?" Morello asked, her fingers brushing the jagged ends of Nicky's long hair. Nicky was quiet for a moment. "It was driving me crazy in the cells there. So when we went out I snuck a rock in, and I cut my hair with it. It was a way to keep me sane, I guess. All the screaming got tiring after a while. My throat hurt like hell after a while."

Morello slashed the ends off her hair ferociously, taking care not to mis-swipe and cut Nicky instead. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that." Morello said sadly, working on a different lock of her hair.

"Don't say sorry for things you can't control, kid. Besides, like I said, it was my fault. I was stupid, and I was arrogant. It won't happen again." Nicky said, her voice so cold it sent shivers down Morello's spine. She worked on sawing off a different section of Nicky's curly hair. They remained silent till she finished evening out the ends of Nicky's hair.

She ran her fingers through the curly locks gently. "I'm done." Morello announced, and Nicky stood up, stretching. She peered into the mirror. Morello had sheared off a large amount of her hair, so the unruly locks hung down to her shoulder blades, almost like Pennsatucky's. She looked younger, and more vulnerable, without masses of untidy brown curls falling down to her waist.

"You look great!" Morello said happily, carefully replacing the shard of mirror. "You sure, kid?" Nicky said uncertainly, tugging at a lock of her short hair. The way her dark eyes were narrowed slightly in uncertainty as she turned to scrutinize her hair from different angles made her look oddly cute, in a strange way.

"Yeah." Morello smiled and hugged Nicky, who hesitantly returned her hug half-heartedly, and very, very lightly. It was almost like she was afraid to touch her.

"Are you really okay?" Morello whispered, holding Nicky closer. "Yeah. I am." Nicky answered, releasing Morello and grabbing handfuls of her own locks of brown hair on the floor.

"C'mon, we should clean this shit up." Nicky said, avoiding her gaze and picking up fistfuls of her own hair. "Yeah." Morello replied, and she didn't notice when Nicky removed the sharp piece of mirror from behind the loose brick and slipped it into her pocket.