Ally's P.O.V.
"What about her?" I ask, my throat tight. I try to appear casual, but I know it's not fooling Austin.
Play it cool, Ally, I tell myself, leaning back in the seat. He probably doesn't mean what you think he does. But I had never been the best at cool.
He sighs impatiently, like he's dealing with a child. "I'm not stupid, Ally. I know she's the one you talked to the day of Dez's party; that she's related to you, that she's the reason you've been acting weird. You don't have to lie to me anymore."
Cool gone.
I sit up straight, feeling blood pump to my face. "My mother told you all that?" I demand, enraged.
"She's your mother!?" Austin's eyes pop out of his face, and he swerves a little. The driver to the left of us honks his horn.
I hold onto the dashboard, mentally cursing myself inside for having let that slip. "No," I say sharply, praying that he buys it.
He doesn't.
"She's your mother," he whispers. "And she said you were ugly? What kind of mother does that?"
"She's not my real mother." I look out the window. "I was adopted."
"What else did she say," he asks in a soft, pleading tone.
I bite my lip. A raindrop hits the window. Then another, and another, and soon the soft roar of a storm fills my ears. Without another word, Austin takes the next exit off the highway. We park in a run-down gas station and sit in silence.
Just pray that it doesn't hurt too much when he leaves you alone.
Are you even capable of that? Making him love you?
You're going to let him pull you down.
What has he ever done for you, besides make you his grateful sidekick?
So you're investing your time, energy and emotions in a guy who doesn't like you, with no personal aspirations whatsoever. Why?
"Ally?"
I turn back. His hand is on my shoulder. "Please," he says. "Let me help you. You're too valuable to me for me to let you destroy yourself. Don't you understand that? Whatever she said, it's a lie. You're important to me. You're the only reason I have a career. I need you to become the person I've always dreamed of being."
"That, Austin," I say sadly. "Is exactly what she said."
He's confused.
With deliberate motions, I remove his hand from my shoulder. "I should have known from the beginning," I say. "And I should have trusted her right away when she told me. It's OK. I don't hate you anymore than I do her. But at least I know now that you are the same. You know how to get what you want out of people. It's the reason we were friends; so that you could be famous."
His expression changes from one of bewilderment to one of utter horror. "No, Ally, I didn't mean that at all!"
"Really?" I ask. To my chagrin I'm starting to cry. "Because that's what you said."
I open the door, stumble out of the car and start running. The raindrops mix with my tears. In moments I'm thoroughly soaked. Behind me, I hear Austin slam the car door as he follows me.
It doesn't take him long to catch up.
He grabs my hand, jerking me around to face him.
"Let go," I say stubbornly, hoping he can't tell that I'm crying with all the rain.
"Where are you going?" he asks, eyebrows drawn together.
It hurts, that all this concern is an act. Or maybe I have succeeded. Maybe I have made him love me.
"Home," I sob. "Leave me alone."
"How are you getting home?" He steps forward, towering over me.
"I don't care," I say miserably.
Gently, he tugs on my hand, leading me under the covering that protects the door of the gas station. Inside, the cashier is watching us. "Well I'm not leaving," Austin announces. "So until your dad comes to pick you up or I drop you off at home myself, you're stuck with me."
I wipe my face. In the light from the store, he can see that my eyes are red. "You were crying again," he says softly.
The way he says things sometimes makes my head feel light. I nod. I'm exhausted. I'm tired of thinking, tired of analyzing, tired of running, tired of defending myself. My whole body is weak, drained of all energy and thought. "I just want it all to stop," I say, feeling my eyes well up with fresh tears. I know I'm about to fall over.
He wraps his arms around my back, pulling me against his chest like before. And like before, I'm too confused to resist. Still holding on, he slides down the glass door until we're sitting on the wet, gray pavement. I let my head drop onto his shoulder, not caring that he's using me. I like to pretend that he isn't.
My crying stops slowly, and I start to feel sleepy.
"I'm so sorry, Ally," he says, taking a shaky breath. His arms tighten. "I'm so sorry that we're doing this to you."
I try to think of a good response, but I'm so tired now that I can't. My eyelids are so heavy, and the heat from his skin warms me. "That's OK..." I say sleepily.
"Of course it isn't." I feel how heavily he's breathing. His voice is filled with despair. "It's her fault you can't believe me, and it's my fault that you won't. I keep messing it up."
"Hmm?" I close my eyes.
"Saving you. I keep messing it up."
His words are fuzzy and indistinct.
"Ally?"
It's like he's at the end of a very long tunnel.
"Ally? Are you..."
I fall asleep.
A/N - Sorry for more development. It's necessary but often frustrating. Please review!
