You Are My Light
January 15, 1916
Katniss,
These past few months have been terrible, and I had almost lost hope. I cannot even begin to describe the fear, anxiety and sorrow I have felt. The days were dark, but you are my light, and you kept me going throughout it all.
Our capture was brutal, living as a prisoner was unbearable, and not being able to write to you or read your letters caused me to feel even worse. They took away your letters, and all I had left was my photo of you and the mockingjay pin, but those were enough to keep me strong. Even thinking about how lucky I am to have you made things a little better.
Cato was killed during our imprisonment, and I feel like I could have saved him, but I did not. I don't think I tried hard enough, and now he is dead. I feel terrible about the whole thing, but Finnick is alright and so is Thresh. We are the only ones left from our original bunk, and I pray that we will all make it out alive.
I was devastated to learn that Rye passed away, and I am still devastated, knowing that I will never get to see him again. The loss of my eldest brother has shown me how important family is, and I am really glad that you are safe, because you are my family, and in the future, I want us to have our own family. I hope you want that, too.
I hope my parents are okay, please stop by the bakery to let them know that I am alright. I know you have probably been visiting a lot, and that makes me happy. I know how much my father likes to see you.
I love you, Katniss, and I miss you so much. More than I ever thought I could. The longer I am away from you, the more I realize how much I adore you. You are the best part of me, Kitty, and you always will be. Despite everything I've been through and everything else I know I am going to face, I know that when I come home to you, everything will be okay. It will be right.
I long for the day when I get to come home to you, when I get to hold you in my arms again, to kiss you and have you hear me say that I love you. I definitely want to hear your beautiful voice say those words to me.
I have missed writing to you, just as much as you have probably missed writing to me. I cannot wait to receive your next letter. I hope it arrives soon.
I'm sorry I cannot be there for our third anniversary. I wish I could have drawn you a picture or baked you a treat. I hope that I'll get to do those things again soon.
I love you, Kitty.
You are my light.
Peeta.
She had waited so long to read this, thinking it would have relieved some of her pain, but she still had an ache in her heart. It upset her to read about what Peeta had experienced during his capture, and his feelings over Rye's passing. She did not want her golden boy feeling that way.
But she was pleased that she made him feel better, and it really pleased her to hear that Peeta intended for them to have a family together.
When she was younger, she had never thought about having a family of her own. She knew that she needed to be there for Prim until she was capable of living on her own, or until she got married and would have the support from her husband. She had never really thought of what would happen to her after Prim didn't need her care anymore.
Until she met Peeta.
From early on in their relationship, she knew that she had met her other half. Her soulmate, the one intended for her by God. She knew that she wanted everything with him.
Seeing as they were still both young, they had never really discussed marriage. She often wondered if Peeta thought about it. She did occasionally, but never said anything to him. But after reading his letter, she knew that he must have thought about it too.
Her insides warmed as she thought about marrying Peeta. She wondered how he would propose, if he would do it by the fountain in the park, where he had first asked her to be his girlfriend.
It was early January, and Peeta had been taking her out on dates for a little while. He asked her if she wanted to go to the park for a stroll, and even though it was cold, she could not resist. That's where they had their first date, and their first kiss, and she loved it there.
They had made it around the park once, arm in arm, before Peeta stopped in front of the fountain.
"I wish it wasn't frozen." Katniss said, looking at the cold stone. "I like watching the water. And I like when people throw in coins."
Peeta looked at her, amusement sparkling in his eyes. "Why?"
She averted her eyes. "Because they are making a wish. They have hope for something."
Peeta gave a hum, and she watched him put his hands in his pockets and search for something.
"What are you doing?" she questioned.
The corner of his mouth lifted in a sly smile, but he didn't say anything. Finally, he took his hand from his pocket and showed her what he had. It was a shiny penny.
Katniss looked at him, slightly confused, and watched as he tossed it into the fountain, where it disappeared in the snow.
"What did you do that for?" she said.
"I was making a wish." Peeta said, a small smile on his lips.
"There's no water!"
He grinned. "I don't think it matters."
"Well, what did you wish for?"
He gazed into her eyes, and brushed a stray lock of hair off her forehead. "I really like taking you out. I like you very much, Katniss."
She smiled. "I like you, too."
He returned her smile. "Katniss, I want you to be my girlfriend. Will you go steady with me?"
She blinked, her heart beating fast in her chest. "Is that what you wished for?" she whispered.
"Yes." Peeta said softly.
She moved in front of him and gently took his collar in her hands, rising up on her toes. "Well, it looks like your wish has come true." She whispered before she pressed her lips against his.
Katniss smiled at the memory, touching her lips as if she could still feel the kiss.
She was really excited for a future with Peeta, and even though their situation was tough, she knew that somehow, someway, they would be together again.
She took a piece of paper and began writing her letter to Peeta. She was so happy to be writing to him again. When she was done, she went downstairs. She put on her coat, scarf, hat and mittens, and then her boots. She went to the post office, sent the letter, and before she went back home, she went to the park.
She walked around it once, and then stopped by the fountain. She stood there for a while, and then felt a snowflake fall on her cheek. She looked up at the sky and watched the sparkling white flakes. She lowered her head and reached into her pocket.
Katniss pulled out a shiny penny, closed her eyes, and flipped the penny into the fountain.
"Come home to me, Peeta." She whispered.
