Everyone has been so nice to me in the reviews WTF thanks


"I still can't believe this is happening," Len thought to himself, sitting and waiting in the waiting room of the unit for super seriously injured people in the hospital, his hands crossed in his lap.

Worried thoughts filled his mind. What if Rin wouldn't survive? What if she survived but became a vegetable for the rest of her life? What if she lost all her precious memories? What if humans never went to the Moon but NASA just faked everything?

He was snapped out of his thoughts when a middle-aged male doctor approached him.

"Kagamine Len?"

"Dat me."

"You may now come see Kagami Rin-san."

Len followed the doctor through a long hallway into Rin's hospital room. When he stepped into the room, he gasped dramatically at the sight of his beloved loli after the horrific accident that she had by the way totally brought on herself.

Rin-chan was lying motionless, as pale as the sheets around her, loads of tubes hooked up to her comatose body. A large oxygen mask was placed over her mouth and her heavenly golden locks spread around her face, making it look like it belonged to a divine porcelain doll. Her chest was moving up and down under the sheets very softly and weakly. A heart monitor was beeping beside her bed.

"How is she, sensei? Is Rin-san going to be okay?" Len asked, taking one of Rin's ghostly white hands.

The doctor decided to share the prognosis with him first, as 14-year-old-child Rin's closest family was apparently nowhere to be found.

"I'm afraid she may not be long for this world. She has just lost the will to live. She only has a 5% chance of survival, and 1% chance of ever waking up again. I am very sorry."

Len felt like the entire world had stopped right there, right then. The blood ran from his face.

"No! Please, sensei! You have got to help her! She can't die! I won't let that happen!" Len wailed like a hysterical idiot in denial, getting up and grabbing the doctor's shoulders, shaking him dramatically. The doctor just shook his head defeatedly.

"I am very sorry, Kagamine-kun, but there is nothing more modern medicine can do to help her. She simply has lost all will to live."

"It can't be… Rin-chan!"

"You promised to be with me… always and forever and ever!"

~~~Cheesy flashback time~~~

Len and Rin were sitting next to each other on a bench in a small park, sakura-pink sakura petals falling like snowflakes all around them. Len opened his mouth and words came out.

"Rin-chan, you won't ever leave my side, will you?" he asked, coming off as insecure and controlling to any sane person. However, Rin looked him straight in the eyes, gave him a warm, radiating smile and also formed some words using her vocal cords and mouth.

"Of course I shall not. I will be with my Len-kun always and forever and ever," she promised because true love obviously makes people immune to death.

~~~It's time to stop~~~

Soon, everybody Rin ever knew or had ever met appeared into her hospital room to create a dramatic and heart-wrenching scene around her. Rin was battling for her life, her heartbeat becoming slower by every second.

"Rin! Please do not perish yet! You are our bestest friend and everybody loves you!" Meiko cried, fat teardrops rolling down her apple-red cheeks.

"My dear baby daughter… it's like just yesterday you were born, and now you're already dying…" Ms. Kagami-okaa-san sobbed, wiping her eyes. Her motherly goodbye words touched everyone's hearts.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! WAKE UP, RIN-CHAN! MIKU-MIKU-CHAN MISSES YOU SO MUCH, DESUUU!"

"Don't die, Rin! Without you, my life will not have any purpose anymore!" the apparently still alive Teto said desperately, and nobody had the heart to tell her that her life had never had any purpose to begin with.

"I know I only appeared in this story randomly once in the second chapter, but you are still the most amazing and wonderful person I have ever met, so please hang on to life, Rin-san!" Haku pleaded with words most beautiful and touching. Nobody had the heart to correct that she had actually appeared twice.

The heart monitor was now beeping very slowly. Despite of her family and friends' encouragement to keep fighting, she finally flatlined.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" somebody shouted.

"RIN, STAY WITH US!" somebody else cried.

It certainly seemed like all hope was lost and everyone should just take their stuff and go home. However, Len stayed oddly calm, put his hands on Rin's chest where her heart was, and started speaking softly.

"Rin-chan… you came into my life and made me the happiest boy in the world… for that, I would like to thank you. Arigatou gozaimasu, Rin-chan."

The he kissed Rin's lips lovingly, the oxygen mask apparently not being there anymore for some reason. WELL I FUCKING WONDER WHY SHE DIED.

For a second, it seemed like a golden light was glowing from the pair, and then…

Rin opened her eyes.

(Okay that's it. I'm done, Author. Narrate your own story. Nobody else wants to degrade themselves like this. Adios.

…What do you mean the contract said I'll be sent to a North Korean labor camp if I quit?

…Fuck you and your mother and your cow. Luckily for all of us, this story will be over soon.)

Anyway, Rin opened her eyes, just like that. Her heart monitor began beeping normally again, too. Len's kiss of true love had caused her to regain her will to live and the bullshit could be smelt all around the globe.

"Hallelujah! It's a miracle!" the doctor exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Rin-chan! I'm so happy… I thought I would lose you..." Len said, tears of happiness and relief flowing from his eyes in a very manly way. Rin looked around her, weak and disoriented, and asked the typical cliché questions.

"Where am I? What happened?"

"You got hit by a truck and you almost died, but now you're here in the hospital and you're with us," Len explained. "I'm so happy you're awake." Rin looked at the overjoyed Len long and hard.

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" she asked, blinking innocently. Len gasped in great horror.

"N-no… It can't be!"

~~~A few days later~~~

So basically, the crash had made poor Rin forget all about her beloved Len-kun and the precious memories they shared together. Strangely enough, her magical amnesia allowed her to remember everything else from eating without choking to her usual vocabulary. It was only her dearest soulmate that she had lost all of her memories of, because that's how amnesia works. This fact is not to be questioned under any circumstances.

That's why Len had formed a plan to make her remember him and all of the fun time they had together. He had made a video with pictures of himself and Rin, assisted by all of their loving and supporting friends who loved and supported them so much they wanted to assist Len with making the video.

And now he was on his way to her hospital room with Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Luka and whatever stupid friends they had.

Rin was sleeping soundly in her hospital bed, when someone knocked on the door.

"Kagami-san, you have visitors," a big-boobed nurse alerted the girl who was waking up. Her eyes lit up at seeing her dear friends flock into her room, along with that one weird boy who kept saying his name was Len and he was her boyfriend or something. He was probably just lying to get into her pants easily!

The weird Len-boy grinned at her. "Hello, Rin-chan! How are you feeling today?" he asked.

"I'm feeling rather fine, arigatou for asking."

"Great! There's something I want to show you," Len said and put a laptop on her bed. He double-clicked a file and a video started rolling. Some shitty American country ballad about eternal love and God began playing from the speakers. Rin couldn't believe her eyes at first. Pictures of her and Len appeared one at a time on the screen, most of them having fun in different places, smiling like the happiest couple on planet Earth. In some of them they were shown kissing. One photo depicted her singing for him at the karaoke bar on their first date, one was of the time he saved her from being raped at the party, one of when he prevented her from killing herself, and one of her saving Len from the hands of the late, evil Akita Neru-bitch. Someone mysterious must have had been present during all these moments only to take photos of Rin and Len and that shit's creepy.

The pictures and music put together like that… made Rin feel like something was growing inside her. (As in a feeling. She was not pregnant and it was not a fart.)

Suddenly like magic, absolutely everything came back to her. Whoopee.

"I remember… Now I remember all of it!" she exclaimed in exuberance. "Oh Len-kun, I am so sorry my traumatic brain injury caused me to forget about you and everything we went through together during this incredibly short period of time!"

"It's okay, Rin-chan! I'm glad everything is alright again!" Len said and planted a kiss on Rin's lips once more.

As everybody was celebrating the end of Rin's short-lived amnesia, a blond boy suddenly appeared in the doorway, grabbing everyone's attention with his mysterious act.

"Hello. Do you still remember me?"

"Well yeah, you were introduced in like the previous chapter. Aren't you Rin's long lost brother, Rinto?" Len asked him.

Rinto dropped the mysterious act. "Yes, but I didn't tell you the entire truth the last time we met. You see, I am actually the long lost brother of both Rin and you."

"What do you mean you're Len's long lost brother too?" Rin exclaimed, extremely confused. Rinto continued:

"Rin, you and Len are actually…

half-twins." Dun dun duun. "You have the same father, but a different mother."

"Wait… how can we be half-twins if we developed in different wombs?" Len pointed out.

"That's not important," Rinto said dismissing the very important plot hole.

"What's important is that you, Rin and I are long lost siblings."

"Don't forget me!" they heard a chipper voice from outside the door.

And then into the room walked a girl who looked exactly like Len, the only difference being that her hair was very long, reaching her butthole.

"I am Lenka Kagamine and I am your long lost older sister, and the twin sister of Rinto," she introduced herself.

"What the fuck is going on?" everybody asked, wondering why exactly it was necessary to cram so many Kagamines into this mess of a story at the last minute.

"But wait, there's more! Rin, your mean big sister Lily was never actually your sister. She was actually abandoned by her family and then adopted by your parents because nobody ever loved her because she was always being such a bitch," Lenka explained. Everyone was very shocked, even though these late plot twists are completely pointless and add absolutely nothing to this story.

"How do you even know all this and we didn't?" Len asked, trying to wrap his head around everything.

"...That's not important."

"So… does this mean Len and I are a half-twin brother and sister?" asked a very confused Rin.

"Yes."

"It does not matter, Rin! I still love you sexually!" Len exclaimed.

"And I love you, Len! It does not matter at all if our children and grandchildren will be horribly deformed and diseased products of incest that will suffer every day of their lives! The only thing that matters is OUR own happiness!" Rin said happily, embracing Len.

"Rin-chan… Will you marry me?" Len proposed, whipping out a diamond ring in a velvet box.

"Yes I will, Len-kun!" Rin said, jumping to Len's arms with tears of happiness in the corner of her eyes.

Guys, you're 14 years old.

~~~The End~~~

~~~...?~~~


How did 15 year old me even think starting this story was a good idea