Chapter 10 Betray Her
Shawn hid his motorcycle in the woods near the Lockhart mansion. He climbed up the wall and looked around for any prying eyes before jumping to the ground. He quickly made his way to the tree unnoticed. He climbed up the tree and was over the balcony within minutes. When his feet touched the balcony floor, his heart broke at the sight of Mimi lying on her bed in tears. He walked through the door she had left open for him and climbed onto the bed. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her head. He felt her move out of his arms and move back a little as she turned to face him. He tried to pretend that it didn't hurt him but it did, "What's the matter baby?" he asked as his thumb gently stroked her cheek. He physically flinched when she moved back even further out of his reach and buried her face in her pillow.
"I'm so sorry," she cried into her pillow, "This wasn't suppose to happen."
"Did you get another note?" he asked, trying to keep the panic from his voice. That man did have a partner and he did a half ass job for Mimi and now she would be in even more trouble.
"No," she said.
He let go of the breath he didn't know he was holding, "Then what are you sorry for."
"You killed that man," she said, crying even harder.
"He's not the first man I've killed," Shawn said.
"You shouldn't have done that for me," she said, "I've made you a killer."
"I was already a killer baby," he said. He didn't know what to do. She saw a side of him tonight that he never wanted her to know existed. And now she would not let him touch her without her body tensing up and moving future away. The separation between them felt the size of the Pacific Ocean. "What happened tonight happened because some man threatened your existence."
"He threatened a secret Shawn," she said, "not my life."
"He threatened to destroy your life," he said.
"No."
"Baby look at me," he said, when she refused to meet his gaze, he put more force in his voice, "I need you to look me in the eye baby." When her green tearful eyes finally met his chocolate brown, his heart broke again. He saw fear in her eyes and he couldn't stop himself from wondering if that fear was from him. "You did not make me into a killer," he said, "My father did. Nothing that happened tonight was your fault. If I had to do it all over again I would do it exactly the same."
"Why?" she asked. She didn't understand why someone who was suppose to be her enemy, someone she was suppose to hate would risk what he did tonight, for her.
"Because you're my Mimi," he said, bringing his hand to her face. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He tried to pretend it didn't hurt when she shivered from his touch…she was afraid of him, "You're my baby. No one hurts my baby and gets away with it. I'm sorry that I'm scaring you."
"I'm not scared of you."
"That's a load of crap and you know it," he said, "you won't let me touch you. And when I do touch you, you quiver in fear and move further away from my reach. I see it in your eyes. I knew you shouldn't have been there. You hate me now. You saw the side of me that I never wanted you to see and now you hate me. You see me as a monster. A monster that my father created, a monster I allowed him to create. You'll never look at me the same." He couldn't be here anymore with her. It killed him to be this close to her and know she was terrified of his touch. He didn't even try to pretend it didn't hurt. He knew it was breaking his heart.
"That's not true."
"It is true," he said getting off of the bed, "I'm sorry, but it hurts too much to be this close to you. I just want to hold you in my arms and never let you go, but you won't let me. I have go. I'm sorry, it just hurts." He started walking towards the balcony door when he felt a hand on his arm.
"Please don't leave me."
He turned around and saw the tears falling from her eyes. All he wanted to do was to hold her in his arms and make the pain go away. It was that moment he knew that he was falling in love with this woman. And he did not care about the feud or family loyalty, all he cared about was her. He opened his arms for her to walk into. He would met her half way, if she wanted him, his comfort, then she would have to make a move.
She smiled at his gesture and walked immediately in his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his torso and held on tight, "I'm not afraid of you," she said, "I'm afraid of what you make me feel. When you call me baby, my heart skips a beat. And when you kissed me tonight, I'm sure my heart stopped beating. I felt the electric shocks and the sparks. My skin feels on fire after one simple touch. What scares me the most about that is that I do not regret it and I want it to happen again and I…"
Her sentence was cut off by him kissing her with all the passion, lust, love, whatever it was called that was flowing through his veins. He kissed her like he was a dying man and she was the only source of life. He pulled her even closer to him. He held her so close you weren't sure where she ended and he began. When they pulled apart they were both gasping to catch their breath, "I know what you're talking about baby," he said tucking what has quickly become his favorite strand of hair behind her ear again, "I feel it too and it terrifies me. I wasn't suppose to feel this way about you." He replied in all honesty. He wasn't suppose to want her the way he did. He was suppose to want her hurt her and nothing else. Now, he wasn't sure what he was suppose to be doing anymore. His head and heart were in conflict. His loyalties were divided and all he knew is he never wanted to be the cause of her tears again.
"I know what you mean," she said, "I wasn't suppose to feel this way either. You were suppose to be my friend…but somehow…"
"Somehow," he said, "we ended up being so much more. It's like we're…"
"Home," she finished for him.
"Yeah," he said before kissing her again.
He picked her up and continued to kiss her. He carried her to the bed and laid her down. He continued to kiss her and he laid down with her. Their hands roamed freely around their bodies. They were exploring each other's bodies and their skin felt on fire after it was touched. When Mimi felt his hands go under her shirt he pushed him away.
"We can't do that," she said, trying to catch her breath.
"I'm sorry," he said, trying to catch his breath as well, "I got carried away."
"He really messed me up," she said.
"I understand," Shawn said rolling onto his back. He tried to not let it show how angry he was, would he ever get out from under that man's ghost. When will Ross no longer have a hold of her?
"This isn't about him," she said.
"Sure it is," he said sarcastically, "But you do know that I'm not him."
"I know," she said, "but after that happened, I promised myself that I wouldn't go there with another man until I was sure. I want my heart and hormones to be on the same wavelength."
"I understand Mimi," Shawn said, giving her a light kiss on the nose, "more than you know."
"I want to be in love and be loved back," she rambled on.
Shawn just laughed and put his fingers over her mouth to stop her from talking, "I told you that I understand," he said giving her a playful smirk, "I wouldn't want it to be any other way. Our first time will be special with candles and music. Not a lustful lets tear each other's clothes off so we can get very naked very fast and just do it."
She laughed at him, "Just do it huh?" she said, "You make it sound so romantic."
"Just call me Casanova baby," he said bringing her hand to his mouth and giving it a kiss.
"I wouldn't go that far," she said with a small smile.
"You wound me baby," he said, giving her kiss, "I should get going. You are too much of a temptation just laying there looking all beautiful." He gave her one more kiss before moving to the door.
"Wait," she said, "I have to tell you something."
"Missing me already baby?" he said playfully, "I haven't even left yet. I can only imagine the heart ache when I finally do climb down that tree."
"I'm trying to be serious here," she said motioning him to come sit by her.
"What is it?" he asked. He had no idea what was going on inside of that head of hers and that scared him. He was usually good at reading her and now nothing. He watched her go to the nightstand and pull out a red envelope that looked very familiar.
"Here," she said giving it to him.
"Are these the photos?" he said in disbelief.
"Yeah."
"Are you crazy!" he said jumping off of the bed and going to her metal trash can. He dumped out the contents and walked outside on the balcony. He threw the photos in the empty trash bin and held onto the envelope, "You're not suppose to keep the blackmail as a souvenir," he scolding her like a small child, "You have to destroy it." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his lighter. He had lit the paper and was about to throw it into the trash can when Mimi knocked it out of his hands and onto the floor. "What are you doing?" he asked quickly going to the paper and stomping it out with his foot, "You're not suppose to keep this stuff. Someone could find it and if that happens tonight was for nothing." He stopped to think what he was doing. He couldn't understand what was wrong with him. He was about to destroy the evidence that could destroy her family and he didn't even look at it. He wasn't even tempted to look at it. "What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really that head over heals gone for her?"
"Not yet," she said, "I wanted to tell you why you risked your life tonight."
"I already know the answer," he said as his face softened and he reached out his hand to tuck her strand of hair behind her ear again. He looked into her eyes and whispered, "I risked it for you. I thought we already established that I would do it again for you in a heartbeat." He reached down to grab a photo to start the fire and held his lighter in his other hand.
"I want to tell you the secret you helped me protect," she said as she grabbed the lighter from his hand..
Shawn was completely thrown off by this; he wasn't expecting her to say those words. "What?" he asked, his voice was full of confusion.
"I couldn't burn it until I told you," she said, "it's so unbelievable that you won't believe me unless I show you the proof."
"You don't have to," he said, "your secret is safe now. No one has to know."
"I have to tell someone," she begged, "It's eating me alive. I've carried it for six years and it's slowly eating me inside. I need to tell someone before it destroys me."
"It's okay," he said pulling her into his embrace, "I'm here for you. You and me against the world."
"You don't understand Shawn," she said, "My mother held many secrets and the ones I carry can destroy so much. And the secret I was being blackmailed would cause….it…Shawn it's horrible. I know things that will destroy my family and put my family in jail. But this secret would not only destroy my family but…but…"
"But what? Who else does this effect?"
"You," she said, "If this got out, not only would it destroy my family but yours as well. We would go to war with each other."
"We're already at war," Shawn pointed out to her.
"Not like it could be," Mimi said, "My father would seek vengeance as well as your father and uncle. This secret could destroy everyone and everything."
Shawn saw more tears falling from her eyes, he wiped them away and gave her another kiss, "You don't have to tell me," he said.
"I want to," she said, "Can I trust you with this?"
Shawn gulped, he wasn't sure. "Can she really trust me with the one piece of information that could cause so much destruction? What does my family have to do with it? Can I be trusted?" Shawn looked at her and realized he was thinking too long; this wasn't what his father sent him to find out, but another secret to protect his family. But she had more secrets and this could be the first step to finding out what could destroy the Lockhart's forever. "You can trust me with anything," he said in a confident voice he wasn't sure was in own.
"Just so you know," she said, "this isn't my secret. It's my mother's secret. She confided in me the day she died in that plane crash." She gestured for him to look at the photo in his hand and to grab the ones she was offering to him.
"Why was she on that plane?" Shawn asked, "I never understood her reasoning."
"This is the answer to those questions and they will bring more questions," she said gesturing again to the photos in her hand, "Be 100 sure that you want to know before looking at it."
Shawn took a deep breath; this was his mission he could not turn away from it. He looked at her and knew that it was destroying her to carry this burden, if he knew he could help her with the load. He turned the picture over in his hand and his eyes immediately widen. He grabbed the rest of the photos and flipped through them. He looked at her to see if this was somehow a sick joke. She shook her head no and her eyes filled with tears. He grabbed the lighter from her and set the photos on fire. "No one will ever know," he said, throwing them in the empty trash can, "this I promise you." He threw the negatives into the fire and the blackmailer's note before he wrapped his arms around her pulled her close to him. He kissed the top of her head as they watched the flames burn the secret that would destroy lives. "I need to know the story behind this," he said.
"I understand," she said. She looked into his eyes and told him the story. The story of her mother's secret.
When it was over Shawn understood fully why Mimi was so terrified when that man had blackmailed her. Bonnie Lockhart could never be called a smart woman; but what she did was so careless and reckless it could damage more lives. Shawn just hoped it was worth it to Bonnie, to bring this pain to her daughter and her family. He shook his head in disbelief. There was no way that could have been worth it. It seemed that not even the Lockhart women could be considered innocent. But it wasn't completely her fault; she wasn't alone in this mess. But still, she left the mess for her own daughter to clean up. He looked down at the fragile woman crying in his arms. Shawn never hated someone more than he hated Bonnie Lockhart at that moment of time.
Mimi glanced at the clock and noticed how late it was, "You need to leave," she said, "Patrick will be here any minute."
"Okay," he said, "You have no reason to be afraid anymore. The problem is taken care of and I'm here for you."
"I know," she said. She looked into his eyes and knew at that moment she was in love with Shawn-Douglas Brady. As much as she tried to fight the attraction, she lost. She was head over heals in love. All she could do now was hope he could feel the same way for her.
"Good night baby," he said, cupping her face in his hands he gave her a sweet kiss on the lips.
"Good night Shawn," she said. She watched him climb down. She grabbed trash bin and began to pick up the mess Shawn made.
Twenty minutes later Shawn was walking through his front door. He was greet by his father and couldn't help but to feel guilty. He knew something that could be used against the Lockhart's and he wasn't sure what to do with this information. This information was for above and beyond what he hoped to get. It would destroy all their lives. He shook his head trying to rid himself of these thoughts. He could feel the headache starting to come.
"We need to talk Shawn," Bo said.
"About what?" Shawn asked, even though he knew the answer.
"About Miriam Lockhart," Bo said, "It's been over two months you have to have something to report to your old man."
Shawn was conflicted; his heart was torn between two loyalties. He wasn't sure which one deserved his honesty more. His family or his Mimi. He sighed and rubbed his forehead trying to make the headache that was forming to go away.
"You know something," Bo said, "I can see it written all over your face. What do you know?"
"Yeah Dad," Shawn said, "I know something. Something we've been waiting for has finally happened." He used both hands now to try and rub away the headache. He couldn't believe he was going to do this. He was about to betray the trust of someone he loved dearly.
"What did you find out?" Bo asked.
