A/N: Hullo again. Just so you all know, my beloved Dreaditor has returned to provide her editing prowess. She's my sister. But she's good for more than a laugh. : D So I'm going back to fix all typos, etc., but the meat of the story will remain the same. :]
Read. Enjoy. Review.
-11-
'Dance Little Liar'
I spent the entire car ride fighting with myself. I had no idea whether or not I should tell him what had happened the night before. On one hand, I didn't yet know what his intentions were. On the other, if he was even thinking about getting back together with me and I told him, I was probably fucked. I spoke only to direct him around town and kept to myself the rest of the time. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye a few times and seemed concerned by my mood. It wasn't helpful that he could still read me so well, whether he wanted to or not. When we reached the restaurant, I stepped out of the car and hurriedly lit a cigarette with unsteady hands. I led the way to a table on the patio around the side of the building and caught the eye of a nearby waitress. She waved in acknowledgment and returned her attention to her patrons as we sat down. I took a hard drag on my cigarette and let it out through my nose, trying to calm my nerves.
"So. What d'you wanna talk about, Roxy?"
I mentally slapped myself for calling him that, but he didn't seem to shrink away from it this time. I watched him expectantly as he glanced away, collecting his thoughts.
"Well...What happened. Yesterday. It's just that...What happened...There's nothing..."
I cocked my head to the side and smiled reassuringly to prompt him to continue. He took a deep breath and met my eyes.
"It was what I wanted. But it took me by surprise."
I nodded and took another long drag as I considered this. It wasn't what I'd expected either. But I would've given anything to kiss him like that again.
"And I just...I guess I need to know what it is that you want."
I nodded again and rested my chin in one hand, never looking away.
"I want you. Simple as that, Rox."
He didn't seem to know how to answer me and I frowned.
"Did you really believe that I ever for one second stopped caring about you?"
He expression grew a little steely.
"Yeah. I did believe that. I don't now. But I did."
"I'm sorry."
We watched each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity before the waitress showed up and broke the silence. We both quietly ordered and went back to watching each other carefully. I finally grew anxious and spoke again.
"Listen, Rox. I want to be with you. If you think you can give me the chance. That's what I want. I don't know how to make it plainer than that. I don't want to just be your friend, I don't just wanna fuck you, I don't wanna pretend you never happened. Get what I'm sayin'?"
"Yeah. But I think you can understand my hesitation."
That bit a little, but I deserved it. Despite his statement, though, his expression had softened. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I held myself back.
"Is it what you want?"
I felt like a kid, holding my breath while I waited for the big reply I wanted, so ready to be crushed but anticipating it with just as much excitement as fear. I placed my cigarette in the ash tray on the table and never let my eyes wander from his.
"Yes."
I couldn't stop the smile that spread over my lips, even when he spoke again.
"But don't think that means we're just going to jump back in where we left off, Axel. You know better, and I just can't do that. We basically back to square one here, okay?"
I continued to grin but nodded. Our waitress had returned to the patio and I caught her attention. I gave her a charming, beseeching smile and asked her to get our orders to go. Roxas quirked an eyebrow at me but he played along; allowed me to practically drag him back to his car and back up the steps to the apartment. The food was soon forgotten, thrown haphazardly in the fridge. Demyx had disappeared, and he slipped easily from my mind as I sat down on the couch with Roxas.
"So. Well then, tell me what's been goin' on since I left."
I watched him intently while he spoke, all the while wanting to touch him, hold him, kiss him. But I managed to restrain myself long enough to get the updates. His mother was working more, Hayner was still dating Nami, Olette was headed for one of the best universities around, Pence had finally found a niche in game design...All the little things that made up Roxas' life. I listened carefully, though mostly just because I had missed the sound of his voice more than I'd realized.
He wanted news from me, so I quickly skimmed the basics; classes, job, friends, etc. When I fell silent again, he just nodded and reclined more comfortably on the sofa. With the formalities out of the way, I didn't think I could continue to contain myself so well.
"...Square one, hm?" I prompted, smirking. He smiled in spite of himself and nodded.
I leaned closer to him and kissed him deeply. He seemed a little tense at first, though he melted into it within a few seconds. I pulled away enough to look at him and grin.
"I'm pretty sure that's where we started off, right?"
He rolled his eyes but mirrored my smirk as he settled back on the couch again.
"I guess you're right about that."
He let his eyes sweep the room and I followed his gaze. His eyes fell on the shot glasses and forgotten booze bottles on the floor. I felt panic flutter in my gut but stifled it as he looked back at me.
"Rough night?" he asked.
"Mmh. A little. What can I say, Roxy? I wasn't a happy camper when you took off like that."
He nodded again, then surprised me by shifting to kneel on the couch and pressing forward to kiss me. This was aggressive for him, but I liked it anyway. I let myself fall back on the cushions as he pressed towards me. I reached up, letting my fingertips slip beneath his shirt and over his torso and chest. He pulled back. I knew I was hoping for too much, but I couldn't help myself; he was hot, and he had started it this time. He hovered over me for a moment and we smiled at one another before he sat back.
"Happy now?" he asked.
"Extremely," I replied with a lopsided grin as I sat up and regained my bearings.
As he sat back, he slipped his cell phone from his pocket and checked the time. He frowned a little. I knew that look. It meant he was going to have to leave soon. Unless I distracted him properly. So I thought I should try.
"Hey, I didn't give you the grand tour. C'mon."
I grabbed his hands and pulled him off of the couch with me and headed down the hall towards my room. I opened the door and let him step inside before me, then I shut the door. He was very quiet as he took in the new surroundings. I stepped up behind him and wrapped my arms around him tightly. He chuckled softly and I felt it rumble in his chest. I inhaled deeply, taking in the scent that was uniquely him. I tightened my arms around him a little more and smiled to myself. He was only a little taller than I remembered, and he was more muscular now. It was strange but I liked it. I loosened my grip and he turned to face me, leaning his cheek against my shoulder for a few moments before he pulled away. Much as I hated to do it, I let him go, and he strode across the small room, running his hand across the top of the desk as he went to look out the window towards the university.
"You know, I decided on a college," he said quietly, still looking out. I went and sat on the edge of my bed, leaning back on my hands.
"Hm?"
"I'm going there," he concluded, nodding towards the university, clearly visible from the window. I smiled to myself again.
"Oh really?"
He turned to face me again.
"Yeah, really."
"Well. Good."
He rolled his eyes but smiled and I smirked at him again.
"I'm not going there because of you. The journalism program is really good. And they offered me a lot of really good scholarships."
I raised a brow at this.
"Journalism?"
"Yes. Olette got me in to it. She needed help for the school paper and begged me to do it, but I actually really liked it."
"Hm. Journalism," I muttered, my tone obviously that of disbelief.
He looked over his shoulder and grinned at me the way he always did when he thought I was being a little stupid. But I supposed if that was what he wanted, then that was what he should get. I smiled at him and he walked over to sit beside me on the edge of the bed. He took one of my hands and looked hard at me for a moment.
"So. You gave me the bullshit answers, but really; how have you been?"
I let the grin slip off of my lips and furrowed my brow, trying to figure out how to answer him honestly without shattering the fragile new dynamic.
"Honestly? Not so good, Rox."
He nodded and waited for me to continue.
"I was miserable without you. I tried to distract myself from it, but there was nothing I could do. Everything I did to forget just made me remember even more how much I need you."
He looked away as he spoke again, tone quiet and forcefully even.
"Were you with anyone else?"
I felt like my heart had just disappeared from my chest. I hated the expression on his face. But I knew I couldn't lie. There was no point. He would know if I lied, anyway.
"Yeah...I mean, I had a few...Uh, one-night-stands. But no relationships, I can swear to that. It never meant anything. I only thought about you every time."
I watched him in silence for what seemed like days. When he finally looked at me again, his expression betrayed his frustration.
"Right...But you know what I'm really asking, Axel. You know."
I did know. But I didn't want to touch the subject. And now there wasn't a choice.
Throughout the time we had been together, there had always been one small problem. Everyone knew that Demyx had never really finished with me. They knew I had been done with him for a long time; as a boyfriend, anyway. But Dem had never been able to act completely like himself around Roxas. It thrilled him to see me so happy. But not with someone else. No matter how I tried to get him to let it go, there were always little things that Demyx would do or say that would completely put Roxas off. And I knew that Roxas wanted to know if I'd gone back to him.
"You're right; I know what you're talking about, Roxy. And yeah, something happened between me and Dem. Well, not just once. But it never meant any more to me than any other one-nighter. You know better than that, don't you?"
I had turned to face him and rested a hand on his thigh. He was looking at the floor again. I sighed heavily and searched my brain for some way to lighten the mood. We needed to get off of the subject.
"Listen, Rox. I love you. I loved you then, I loved you the whole time I've been gone, and I just...God, I fucking love you."
I stood in front of him and caught him in a deep kiss before he could speak or stop me. He seemed tense but as usual melted within seconds. I pressed forward against him so that he was forced to lay on the bed. I kissed him more deeply still and looped my fingers around his wrists, holding him beneath me. At this, he was tense again. I figured he was just nervous. It had been a while. I pinned his wrists with one hand and reached for his shirt with the other, clumsily slipping to remove it in my anticipation. He just grew more rigid beneath me and before I knew what was happening, He had forcefully snapped his hands free of my grip, grabbed my arms, and reversed our positions so that he was looming over me. Only difference was, the kissing had ceased, and he looked frustrated again.
"Don't."
I quirked my brow in genuine confusion, though admittedly, I was enjoying being this close to him again. He was pressed close, and his tone had gotten dangerous and low. I wanted to squirm and strain towards him, but he looked serious.
"Don't what, Roxy?"
"Don't do that. Things aren't like before, okay? You can't just do whatever the hell you want and expect me to always lay there and be happy to take it. So don't."
I raised my brow higher but he just continued to stare at me, only inches away.
"Okay, okay. My bad, Rox. You're not a kid anymore. And if memory serves, you know exactly what you're doing."
He rolled his eyes but nodded.
"I do know what I'm doing. So if I wanna let you lead me, I'll let you. But don't just assume."
Before I could answer him, he pressed forward and kissed me. I could feel the downward curve of his lips as he frowned into the kiss. But I didn't care. It was still him kissing me. And that was what mattered. I let him keep a hold on my arms, but I strained my hips towards him; I may not be in charge, but I could still let him know what I wanted. I was surprised when he gripped me tighter and lifted me further up on the bed so that my legs were no longer hanging over the end. He had gotten stronger, that was for sure. He may still be shorter than me, and cute as fuck; but he was strong. He finally let go of my arms and I wrapped them around his waist, pulling him closer; flat against me.
He allowed for this but reached beneath him to tug at my shirt, forcing the kiss to end. I opened my eyes to watch him. I loved the look on his face. He still looked a little irked, but he was cute when he was irked. Besides that, he looked desperate and rushed. I let him slip my shirt over my head and he tossed it aside carelessly, immediately leaning in to cover my neck and chest with kisses. He bit my neck and I arched as close as I could to him, but then he was gone again, pulling off his own shirt. As soon as he had it off, I grasped the back of his hair and forced his lips to mine. Just as he finally reached to unbutton my jeans, I heard my bedroom door open and I groaned as we both looked towards the door.
Demyx stood in the frame, arms crossed. I could have killed him right then and there. Roxas' fingertips were still poised at the top of my jeans. I was still flushed with excitement. But there was Demyx. Expression cool and collected. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, I knew I was screwed.
"You didn't look that excited last night with me, Axel."
I shut my eyes and groaned again. This was the final straw. My worst nightmare. This couldn't be happening. Especially not with Dem. I'd never known anyone kinder than him or more forgiving. Not in my entire life. And here he was; telling the love of my life that we had fucked last night while he was deciding to get back together with me. This was so fucked up even I couldn't believe it.
Roxas' expression was frozen; a mix of surprise, anger, and devastation. Nothing cute about it. They were all heartbreaking. I wanted to fucking kill Demyx. I slipped out from under Roxas and strode across the room, slamming the door shut with a final glare at Demyx. When I turned back to face Roxas, he was already at the bedside pulling on his shirt, refusing to meet my eye.
"Rox, please, give me a second and I can explain."
"Fuck that."
I stayed planted in front of the door, arms thrown out as he advanced.
"You don't understand."
"I don't need to."
He shoved me roughly out of the way and walked out the door without another word. I crashed into the dresser by the door and lost my balance, falling to the floor. I scrambled to my feet and rushed into the hall. When I reached the living room, I saw Roxas walking out the door, but he wasn't alone. Demyx was holding the door open for him and with a last dirty glance at me, Demyx followed him out and the door slammed shut.
A/N: There ya go. Enjoy. I guess. Although now we're into the angst. Heh heh. Again.
PLEASE REVIEW! LOVE Y'ALL.
And fyi, for you uber-nerds out there...I'll soon be posting a 'Spork' fic...If you understood that and are pleased. Ily.
Peace.
[Simple-And-Clean-Passion]
