The Nonsense Play of Chaos

The rehearsal was starting. The lights blinked on with a snap, centering on the stage, illuminating a woman with luscious blonde hair that flowed down to her waist, dressed in a sparkling yellow gown studded with little diamonds. She truly shone in the middle of the stage, and taking a deep breath, she got ready with her vocal cords.

"All the shine of a thousand spotlights," she sang, her voice reverberating through the air, soft yet strong. "All the stars we steal from the night sky will never be enough-"

"Okay stop, stop, stop." A man cried out, as he stood up from the audience seat. He was the director, and clearly, he was exasperated.

"Spark, how many times do I have to tell you, we're not singing 'The Greatest Showman' and that songs are supposed to be started from the beginning," he said firmly, emphasizing his point with hand motions. "Not the freaking chorus!"

"Oh, oops," the woman said sheepishly. "I felt like I was Jenny Lind from the movie and got carried away."

The director sighed and waved his hand, motioning female Spark to redo the song, so that they can finally kick-start the rehearsal. Spark took in another deep breath, and there, she goes.

"You are safe in my heart," She sang the beautiful tune. "And my heart will go on and on~"

Then she bowed, signifying the end of her performance, and this time, the director who had been massaging his temples the whole time stood up.

"Oh, my goodness." He gasped. "It's not 'Titanic' either, you... argh! And why would you sing the ending of the song this time? Stop testing my patience! Argh!"

He let out a yell before he threw down the script and stormed off.

"I'm quitting, goodbye!"

Meanwhile, Spark stood on the stage, dumbfounded, and when the lights turned off, the whole stage was dark. Her soft, quiet voice then spoke in the middle of the darkness, confused and puzzled.

"Weren't we just singing about some generic love story anyway?"


"Great, just great," Blanche muttered as he smacked his palm onto his face. "What do we do now?"

He spun around, just to see nearly a hundred musical actors before him, staring back at him blankly. The Team Leader Impersonator Trio exchanged glances and shrugged, not knowing what to do either. The Mystic Leader paced around the practice room, a frown visible on his handsome face.

"We can just, you know, sing?" A voice called out. "Or something?"

Blanche felt a vein pop inside his head, and he charged straight towards the blonde lady, who immediately stood up, ready to run away, but was quickly stopped the moment Blanche's palm hit squarely onto the wall next to her face, effectively doing a kabedon* onto the beautiful female. She trembled, her baby blue eyes staring into Blanche's cold grey ones.

"And who was it that made the director quit?" He hissed. "By singing Disney Princess songs on the first day of rehearsals, Les Misérables on the second day, and then never even once sang the song we were supposed to sing for goddamn Romeo. And. Juliet!"

"It's not every day that you, um, get to be a female and be able to sing all the higher registers?" She whispered in reply. Blanche immediately headbutted Spark right in the head, and the poor Leader let out a soft whimper and covering onto the bump on her forehead, she tried to hold in the tears.

"I'm sowwy!" She murmured. "I'll sing properly this time!"

"Good." Blanche huffed and turned back to the musical actors. He clapped his hands twice, capturing their attention.

"Okay, although we don't have the director with us, we'll be fine." He said. "We can do this performance! Now, off you go to get ready, we'll start in thirty minutes!"

The actors all scattered, including Troyard, Soleina, and Lilian. Spark, on the other hand, screamed shrilly and shook Blanche violently.

"Wait, performance!?" Spark cried out in alarm, not believing her ears. "Weren't we supposed to have another rehearsal?"

"Today's the day already," Blanche uttered monotonously. "And stop shaking me, I'm gonna vomit if you don't."

"I don't even know what is the plot about!" He moaned. "The director told me nothing!"

Blanche was so ready to hammer female Spark into the ground.

"Candela has the script," He gasped. "Candela, could you pass me the script?"

No one replied, and Blanche looked around, just to see a tree waddling up to him, leaves rustling and all.

The leaves started rustling loudly.

"You don't have it, do you." Blanche sighed.

The tree jumped a little, as if in acknowledgment of his words. And it started skipping side to side.

"You ate it..." Blanche sighed even more dejectedly, not able to cope with this dumb nonsense. "How can a tree eat? You photosynthesize!"

Candela rustled its leaves more indignantly than ever.

"Don't give me the excuse that you were hungry. What about the author?" Blanche said out loud to me. "You should know the plot of the Romeo and Juliet well, so just write us perfectly acting out our roles then."

I chuckled, giving a sly smirk.

Too bad, I've never read Romeo and Juliet in my whole life.

Blanche was so ready to pass out.

"Okay, we have no director, no script, a clueless female lead and a useless author... honestly, I'm am so damn tired of this nonsense."

His shoulders sank, and finally, begrudgingly, he muttered, "Let's do a nonsense Romeo and Juliet then."

Spark let out a cheer, the female turning around and skipping out of the practice room in triumph, while Candela spun, leaves dropping everywhere in the room.


It was darkness everywhere in the concert hall, millions of trainers at the audience seats that reached out miles away from the stage. It was quiet, and everyone anticipated the start of the musical play that would be acted out by their beloved Leaders.

"A long, long time ago," a voice narrated. "In the land of, um, Romeo and Juliet, where two opposing families, one named Capulet and the other Montague, fought each other, perhaps every day? Probably every day."

Thousands of whispers exploded in the hall, many surprised by the strange introduction.

"The Capulets had a daughter, named Juliet, and she was as beautiful as the sun and was a striking young lady with unparalleled beauty."

A spotlight was shone, and instantly, cheers were heard, as everyone watched a graceful female Spark peeking her head out from the tower.

"While the Montagues had a son, named Romeo, who was the bravest, and most handsome man in the land."

Another spotlight snapped on, and cheers erupted, as Blanche walked onto the stage.

"He jests at scars that never felt a wound." He sang, perfect pitch and tone.

"But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she: Be not her maid, since she is envious; her vestal livery is but sick and green and none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, O, it is my love!"

He knealt down, his head gazing up at the small tower window, expecting Spark's next lines.

"Sorry what? I can't hear you." Spark shouted. "Can you repeat that louder this time please!"

A holler of laughter, while Blanche tried to control his annoyance, and repeated his lines.

"It is my lady, O, it is my love!" Blanche called out charmingly.

"Um, this is literally the first time we met, so..." Spark replied, the lady herself looking convinced that she was in character. "I doubt that I'm your love."

Another howl of laughter and the audience had already long bought the idea of the play is that of a comedic one. Knowing that he could only go with the flow, Blanche took in a deep breath.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!"

"Wait, aren't I Juliet- Oh, I see." Spark murmured. "I'm a Disney Princess!"

"Yes, you are." Blanche breathed, already too tired to retort. The audience laughed once more.

"And at last I see the lights~ and-"

"Let down your goddamn hair while I still feel like joking around!" Blanche shouted. "We need to get the plot moving and we're nowhere near the ending, so don't you dare sing that song yet!"

"Oh, I don't really have that much hair though," Spark replied, running her hands through her golden locks. Blanche sighed once more, exasperated. He worked her powers, a flight of ice stairs emerging. The audience wowed, and glad that it was entertaining enough, Blanche ascended suavely.

"Sing 'Let It Go'!" Spark called out excitedly, and Blanche clicked his tongue irritably.

"No," He flatly rejected her, and reaching the edge of the balcony, he grabbed Spark by the collar and staring straight into her baby blue eyes, his lips curved into a smirk.

"And you shall be my lover for an hour," Blanche declared. "Juliet."

Squeals erupted, while Spark visibly blushed, her cheeks red and she quickly covered her face in embarrassment.


Candela honestly didn't know how she should feel at this moment.

"I am Groot." Spark suddenly said triumphantly, and she leaped out of the curtains, doing a superman pose. "And you, good tree, what are you here for?"

Candela didn't know what to say. More like, she couldn't say anything in her stupid tree body. For the past twenty minutes, Spark had been assuming the identities of numerous fictional characters to the point of exasperation, and no one even knows where the story progression was at right now.

She rustled the leaves on her branches angrily at Spark. Get your act together, Juliet.

"You are Groot?" Spark asked incredulously, clearly misunderstanding her tree language. "Oh, right."

"What 'Oh, right'?! Spark, you're bloody supposed to be Juliet!" Screamed Blanche, who came tumbling over towards the blonde. "Stop acting OOC!"

The audience laughed, already fully convinced that this was purely nonsensical humor.

"You're supposed to have died, and Romeo suddenly wakes up and finds Juliet to be dead! Can't you just peacefully lie down and sleep? Is it honestly that hard?" Blanche cried out.

"Wait, I died?" Spark gasped. "Thanos killed me?"

And Blanche was ready to faint on the spot.

"Thanos did not kill you, and let me repeat this," Blanche said between his teeth. "You are not in the Marvel Universe, you are not a Disney Princess, you are not Jon Snow, you are not Harry Potter, and you most certainly are not Groot!"

"Then who's Groot?" Spark asked in shock.

"Candela is!" Blanche said in his delirium. "Just be a good Juliet and fake die now, so I can kiss you and fake kill myself and we can end this nonsense!"

The whole area went deathly quiet from Blanche's outburst of anger. The Leader of Mystic, the cold, rational leader of ice had just lost his cool.

And proclaimed she wanted to kiss Spark.

Seemingly noticing what he had just said, Blanche's face went a bright red, all the way to the tip of his ears. He was honestly weighing the options: to freeze everyone else to death or kill himself in embarrassment.

While Spark looked around, in confusion, wondering what had happened to make everyone go speechless.

Until the rustling of leaves was heard, with Candela the tree marching up straight with her root limbs. She positioned herself right between her fellow Leaders, and her branches suddenly grew longer, morphing into words that read:

"I am not Groot!"

"DOES THAT EVEN MATTER NOW?" The audience yelled in unison.


This is honestly the funniest, stupidest and most nonsensical thing I have written. I swear.

And I still haven't watch Infinity War, because there are so many spoilers everywhere, and I might as well know the whole story by now.

Anyways, I wrote this in the spur of the moment, and I probably won't update anytime soon. Perhaps until I have another burst of genius (or weirdness, if one might call it) that can propel me to write something funny.