I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.


Cartman, I'm Your Boyfriend

by cell12

Part 11

"C'mon they've already snagged a booth," Kyle said as they entered Tweaks.

A few years ago Mr Tweak had expanded his coffee shop and now along-side the coffee was sold a selection of sandwiches, cakes, pies and salads - making it more like a diner, without the kitchen. It had soon become a popular hang-out for high schoolers and Eric, Kyle, Kenny and Stan regularly met up there for breakfast.

"Hey guys," Kyle said as they approached the booth.

Kenny's eyes moved between his two friends. He could see the signs of sex in their body language. 'Shit,' he thought, 'Kyle's gone way too far.' Kenny shook his head and tried to focus on the conversation.

"Ah've got to go to the rest-room," Eric stated, "Order my usual for me."

As soon as Cartman was out of earshot Kenny turned to Kyle, "You had sex last night."

Stan looked from Kenny to Kyle, he couldn't understand why Kenny sounded so pissed off.

"And this morning," Kyle answered, sounding pleased with himself.

"Kyle," Kenny snapped, "how do you think Cartman will feel when he finds out the truth?"

"What truth?" Stan asked.

Kenny turned to Stan, "Kyle and Cartman aren't really boyfriends. Kyle made it all up to mess with the Fat-ass. He paid me to help him but he wasn't supposed to go as far as sex though."

Stan gave Kyle a disgusted look, "Dude, why would you do that?"

"I, kind of, fell for him," Kyle answered quietly - his head bowed low in shame.

Kenny gave kyle an I-told-you-so look and Kyle seemed to shrink even more into his seat.

"You know that Cartman will be devastated when he finds out," Stan pointed out, "even I can see that he's desperately lonely and unhappy most of the time."

"Why does he ever have to find out?" Kyle asked.

Stan turned to Kyle, "You know that you can't build a long-term relationship based on lies."

"Yeah," added Kenny, "and what happens when he gets his memories back? Do you really believe that it's never going to happen?"

"It's like sitting on a time-bomb," Stan continued, "you never know when or if it will go off."

"I thought I could get him comfortable, being with me, then confess everything as gently as possible."

"I don't think there's a gentle way to tell someone something like this," Stan screwed up his eyes and pinched to bridge of his nose.

"And what about us," Kenny sounded slightly pissed off, "Cartman's our friend as well. Are we supposed to watch you use and manipulate him and do nothing?"

"I really like him," Kyle had started to cry.

Stan put his arm around his best friend's shoulders, "You know that you have to tell him the truth as soon as possible."

Kenny reached out and patted Kyle's hand, "The longer you leave it, the worse it will be."

"What if he hates me?"

"He will hate you if he finds out the truth himself," Stan told his friend.

"Dry your eyes Kyle," Kenny told him, "Eric'll be back soon."

"Yes," Stan quipped, "You wouldn't want him to see you with tears on your pretty face."


Authors Note: I'll probably post the last two chapters sometime this weekend.