The rocking was insufferable.

Side to side, side to side.

It defiantly didn't help his hangover. He felt positively sick.

However, that might be due to his drunken decision to trap himself on a tiny boat bound for Oslo with Saemund.

'Oh holy Odin' he thought.

They never should have broken out the mead. No matter how much temporary relief, from his now even achier bones, it brought.

He heard a groan from somewhere behind him. Turning to look at the source, he saw his companion sprawled out across the small boat. 'well that's interesting' Njal thought as he smirked at the Danes atrocious bed head 'how did he manage to even accomplish that?'

"How… ugh GOD, my fucking head… how far?" Saemund asked, looking up at Njal.

Njal looked out across the grey water.

Grey sky. Mist. The faint outline of cliffs on one side.

"I'd say exactly 14 minutes, and 34 seconds" Njal said, turning back to give Saemund a truly terrifying glare. At Saemund's resulting gulp, Njal chuckled and leant back on the wood plank seat.

Lying with their heads nearly side by side, Saemund spoke up.

"I think… we might've been able to come up with a better idea."

Njal sighed, "You really think so, Dane?"

Saemund let out a nervous laugh, "Yeah, yeah. At least it's a… bonding experience?"

"You do know where we're going and what we're going to do, don't you?" Njal questioned.

"Of course! Might as well use the time we've got, though. I can see it now, a court herald announcing 'TWO NATIONS FOUND DEAD DUE TO BEING STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN"

Njal had to laugh at that, but he commented "we can't die though. They'll just find us looking like a draugr."

"Maybe that's how we can scare the king into agreeing with us! Just waltz in all 'WE DEMAND YOUR SOUL'"

"Let us feast on your braaaiinnns." Njal moaned.

"and your pet doggg and all your pretty wommeeenn." Saemund added on.

"Oh and don't forget that we need to be seperateeeedd please" Njal added

"Vikings don't say please, Njal."

"suck my undead coooccckkk" Njal stated

Saemund guffawed, "wait me or him?"

Njal scoffed, "Oh god, have you seen his beard? That thing is going NOWHERE near my dick."

"His beard is the epitome of manliness, Njal"

"If you love it so much, why don't you marry his?"

Saemund responded, "That's nonsense!"

"Get one of your own then, idiot. I'm sure the Norwegian women would love you. Just remember to not open your mouth ok?" Njal smirked.

Saemund instantly went sober.

He rubbed his chin, and quietly added "It's coming along…"

Njal jumped up, and looked back down at Saemund with a disbelieving smile on his face.

"You haven't got a SINGLE hair on your face Saemund!"

Saemund frowned. "OF COURSE I DO."

Njal arched his brows in a silent 'seriously'

"You haven't got any either, you hypocrite!"

"That's because I know how to shave, dumbass"

Saemund looked taken aback. "I SWEAR IT'S THERE NJAL"

"Don't believe you"

"HERE FEEL" Saemund grabbed Njal's hand to lift it toward his face.

Njal couldn't stop laughing as he struggled to resist the Danes advances.

Soon Saemund resorted to just trying to rub his horribly prickly chin on Njal's.

"FEEL IT NJAL? IT'S THERE"

"HEY THERE" a voice suddenly called.

The two quickly separated, jumping up at the voice.

A man, standing at the front of another boat, drifted forward. "Sorry to interrupt, but may I ask why you're here?" he asked in Norwegian.

Njal spoke up, "we're here to see the king."

The man smiled. "Well obviously, I mean I know who you are and everything. Just wondering if my suspicions were confirmed"

"Suspicions?"

He laughed, "Yeah, we've got a bet going on at court about you guys. You lasted two days less than I thought…"

Saemund and Njal glanced at one another.

"ah, well… You two going to need any assistance getting to the court?"


Sitting on his throne was a very angry looking Danish King.

"What do you two want?" He growled

Saemund stepped forward, "Please king, we request a change."

"I specifically told you to go and protect Norge, now you're here to beg? Where is your dignity Saemund."

Njal frowed and added "I don't need any protecting…"

The King cast him a sidewards glance.

Saemund continued, "Please! This assignment isn't working! I want to just kill him every chance I get! That's not very effective protection, I think!"

Njal added, "Yeah but I think I'd kill him first though."

The King silenced them with a booming "NO"

Saemund called again "Please consider!"

The King slumped back in his seat and stroked his beard.

"I'll think about it… give me a while though."

Saemund answered with a hysterical, broken laugh. "a-awhile?"

He turned to Njal, and lunged forward, grasping the Norwegians neck in his hands. "We don't have a while, King! Say yes now or-or I'll kill him!"

Njal responded with a swift kick to the Danes stomach.

As Saemund lied slumped on the ground, Njal placed his foot over his chest.

"If you do not reassign Denmark, I will crush his lungs." He stated simply.

Saemund swiftly grabbed the Norwegians leg and brought him to the ground as well.

Amidst the flurry of punches and kicks that resulted, the King called out: "STOP YOU TWO."

They both froze.

"I'll give my decision in the morning, and if there is ANY predicaments before then, I will chain both of you up in your own little cell, YOU HEAR ME?"

"oh thank you thank you" Saemund chanted, running up to kneel and kiss his Kings hands.

Njal simply flashed a thumbs up, and promptly left the room.

"Now get off me, you joke of a country."


heh

just a little late aren't I

just

a little