High School Sucks - 11
A piercing noise rang out from an electronic device that had been placed on the edge of a small tabletop. The device was a piece of plastic that had been hastily sprayed red and in the shape of a racing car. On the front bumper of it flashed several digital numbers, displaying to the world what the time was according to it. After the buzzing noise erupted from it, it began a stream of slurred sounds that attempted to resemble a song of some sort, but only monotonous sounds.
"God, I hate that thing," A voice groaned from underneath several blankets next to the alarm. The blankets had been strung out in disarray on a small bed that served as the centerpiece to the room. The body the voice belonged stuck a lanky arm and slammed I down on the clock, shutting off the annoying sounds. Tossing the sheets off of him, the naked person crawled reluctantly out of the bed and stood up, extending several stretches to that of many minutes.
After finishing his stretch routine, the boy decided it was time to put some clothes on. Opening the top dresser of a bureau, he dug through the clothes with half-shut eyes, finally deciding on a pair of briefs to snap on. Still trying to get used to being awake, he pulled on a white undershirt and an orange jacket on as well, finally finishing the outfit by taking some blue jeans from his closet and fastening them on his legs. Now a bit more accustomed to the new day, he kneeled down at the clock and gazed at its numbers.
"Hmmm..." He let his mind compute the numbers in his brain for a moment. "Just a couple of more minutes before I gotta go. Dammit, Kyle, you're not going to be able to get breakfast today."
A pounding on the locked door disturbed his thoughts. "Kyle! Are you out of bed yet? It's almost time for you to take Ike to school!" A high voice came from the other side.
"All right, mom! I'm getting my clothes on right now, so unless you want me to drive around town naked, give me a freaking minute to change!" Kyle hollered back, now irritated.
"Just hurry up! Ike's been ready for fifteen minutes!" Kyle could hear his mother's heavy footsteps descending the stairs, to which his eyes rolled.
Kyle continued grumbling as he stuffed several pieces of paper and supplies into his backpack. "Crazy bitch, she can take Ike to school, too. So can dad. Why do I have to get stuck with the fucking job?" He muttered to himself in broken talking as he scrounged his items together.
Finally collecting everything, he stood up and sighed. "Well, at least it's Friday now. Just one more day before the weekend." He opened his door and made his way down the steps, where he could see his three other family members sitting around the kitchen table. The youngest one, upon seeing Kyle, immediately leapt from his seat.
"Kyle! We have to leave now! My school starts in ten minutes!" He called frantically, shifting the weight on his backpack.
Kyle shook his head. "Ike, I don't have to be at school for another goddamn half hour. I'm not going to get up any earlier, no matter how much mom and dad complain about it." He glanced at them.
His father, who had been reading the newspaper, lowered it and let his gaze fixate on Kyle. "Now, Kyle," he began, "You know that since both your mother and I work, we need to you help out..."
"Yeah, yeah." Kyle waved his hand in disgust and looked to Ike. "All right, let's get out of here." He said, sighing.
"Great!" Ike hurried to a side door into the home's garage. Flicking on a light, he made his way to the passenger's seat of Kyle's Blazer, while the owner of the truck took considerably longer to find his way in the driver's seat. After starting the car, he pulled out of the driveway and began speeding down the highway. He turned on the radio and settled on a station that was playing generic heavy metal.
"This music cool with you, Ike?" He asked without looking at his brother. Ike thought for a moment as he tried to get a feel for the grinding guitar riffs he was hearing. "Not really." He finally said.
"Too bad." Kyle grinned, pressing down on the gas pedal slightly harder. Ripping his way through the early morning traffic, the maniacal driver finally rounded a corner into a huge parking lot. Off in the distance were several medium-sized buildings, as well as some open fields and portables. Kyle pushed his brother gently.
"All right, dude, get out." He said.
"What?" Ike exclaimed. "We're at the total far end of the lot! I'll be late by the time I get there."
"Not if you hurry, so get the hell out!" Kyle shouted. Sighing loudly, Ike climbed out of the seat. Right before he closed the door, however, he turned around suddenly. "Hey, Kyle?"
Kyle looked at him. "What?"
"Did everything work out with Stan last night? I heard you coming in at, like, twelve-thirty or something." Ike looked concerned as he spoke.
Kyle, remembering his lie, nodded hastily. "Yeah, he had had some trouble with one of his parents, and I was able to help out."
Ike really didn't understand what Kyle had said, but he nodded and smiled. "All right, then. See you later." He slammed the door and turned around, heading off to the junior high school. Kyle sighed.
"All right, now that that's over with." Kyle flipped his car around and began driving in the other direction. As he rode along after a few minutes, he heard a small buzzing noise. Recognizing it as the answering signal from his cell phone, he snapped open the glove compartment on his right. He pulled out a tiny white phone, stuck out the antenna, and pressed it to his ear.
"Yeah?" He called.
He heard static on the other end, but was able to make out a voice. "Kyle? I need some help here."
"Stan? What do you need?" Kyle asked.
"My car isn't working for some reason. You think you can make it over to my house and get me to school?" Stan's faint voice said.
"Sure thing, but why can't your dad take you?"
"It's a surprise, but I promise you it'll be worth it. Can you just come and pick me up?" Stan asked.
"Sure. I'll see you in a sec." Kyle said.
"Thanks. Later." Stan hung up his line, and Kyle soon mimicked him. Tossing his phone back in the glove compartment, he turned his car around yet again, knowing exactly where to go. Making his way through the residential area of the town, he finally parked his car on a side curb and stepped out. Not realizing how cold it was, he shivered for a second before walking up to the front door.
Kyle rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer it. After a second of anticipation, someone who Kyle was taken aback at answered it. The man on the other side of the door seemed similarly surprised.
"Mmm, who are you?" He asked in a mechanical voice.
"I'm Kyle." The boy said assuredly. He eyed the elder man for a moment before a light bulb went off in his head. "Hey, aren't you Ned?"
The large-headed man nodded, his eyes shielded by thick shades but still obviously staring at the boy. "Mmm, yeah, I'm Ned. Wait, are you that friend of Stan's from elementary school?"
Kyle nodded. "Yeah, he said he needs a ride to school. Where is he?" He asked, stepping into the house. He saw another elderly man sitting on the couch and watching TV.
Ned followed him inside. "Mmm, he's in his room. You can wait down here if you want. Jimbo and I were just watching TV." He said, sitting back down and stretching his singular arm.
"Uncle Jimbo's here?" Kyle asked. Before he could answer, however, the person he was referring to stood up to greet him. He took one glance at Kyle and stuck out a hand, grinning ear to ear.
"Ah, boy! Kyle, right?" He asked, a bit unsure.
"Right. It's good to see you again." Kyle smiled, shaking the old man's hand. "How's that show of yours going?"
"Great!" Jimbo grinned. "We're filming a herd of cows right now, and they just passed through the area. We're taking Stan's parents with us for the weekend to try and track them down." He said.
Kyle's eyes widened. "Cool! Is...Is Stan going with you?"
Jimbo and Ned laughed simultaneously. "Nope, so you two have got to be sure that the parties don't get out of hand." Jimbo smiled slyly. Kyle nodded, grinning as well. "Oh, don't worry, Jimbo. We'll make sure everything's fine."
At that moment the third men heard a thudding noise come from the stairs. Stan emerged from them, backpack strapped onto himself and munching on a candy bar. He looked at his uncle, who blushed a bit.
"Heh, howdy, Stan. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't keep the good news from your friend Kyle here."
Stan shrugged. "Who cares? Good news is good news. I really can't thank you enough for getting my parents out of here for the weekend, though, Uncle Jimbo."
Jimbo laughed again. "Hey, what are uncles for? So are your parents still in their room packing for the trip?"
"Yeah. Let's get going though, Kyle. We don't have much time." Kyle only nodded in response. Stan hopped up the steps and turned around. "Well, it was great seeing you guys again."
"You too, Stanley." Jimbo said. Ned waved as well. Stan opened the door and along with Kyle, walked to his waiting truck. The two of them began talking excitedly as soon as they exited the house.
"Man, dude, this weekend is going to be so fucking insane." Kyle said, hopping into the driver's seat again. "You have to invite, like, everyone to your house tonight so we can all get fucked up."
Stan nodded. "Why not tomorrow, though? That'd give us more time to prepare and shit, don't you think?"
"No, tonight's better. Because if we invite enough people, then your house will probably get fairly trashed up, and you can clean it up and do whatever you have to do on Saturday. I'll stay behind, and we can talk some dumbasses like Butters into helping out, too." Kyle grinned.
"Yeah, I bet you're right. Oh, shit!" Stan suddenly shouted.
"What?" Kyle asked, braking slightly.
"You know that football dude, Curtis Wesker?" Stan asked, prompting a nod from Kyle. "That dude's got a keg at his house that he was telling me about. I bet I can talk him into getting it to my place."
Kyle laughed. "Oh god, a keg? That's too fucking sweet. I can bring my stash of vodka and shit over, too. Oh man, this is going to be such a fucking awesome party."
"Yeah, it'll be totally rocking. Now, should we invite anyone in particular? I mean, we've gotta have all the usual people, but who else?" Stan asked.
Kyle shrugged. "Well, we gotta have some people over who're going to have some shit, you know? Oh, we'll definitely have to get Craig's ass over there so everyone can see that rematch."
"Not that again." Stan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but we can just bring it up to anyone. I bet tons of people will be down for it."
"Without a doubt. A house without parents is the most beautiful fucking thing to a high schooler. All right, we're here, dude."
Stan was so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed Kyle parking his car until his friend exited. Stan snapped out of his train of thought and walked out as well. The two continued trading thoughts until they reached the fence that led into the school, which had just been opened for the students to walk freely in and out of. Stan and Kyle made their way to the quad and sat down at a table.
"Alright, so I've going to have bring Wendy to this thing, too. Damn, she can be such a bitch at these parties." Stan said.
Kyle looked at him quizzically. "I've seen the two of you together at parties before, and she didn't seem too bad. What's she done?"
"Just all kinds of crazy shit. This one time she got totally fucking drunk and kept trying to fuck me the entire night. It was horrible."
Kyle laughed hysterically. "Jesus. Was this last summer?"
Stan nodded. "Yeah, it was at some party in Denver. I had gone with Kenny and her, and since both of them were totally tanked, I basically had to be their babysitter for the rest of the night."
"Man, that is too sweet." Kyle said. Sensing someone next to him, he turned around to see a boy that he instantly recognized. "Well, speak of the devil. How you doing, Kenny?" he asked.
"Decent." Kenny sat down. "What have you boys been up to lately? Still sweating through the first day of school?" He asked.
"Yeah, but tonight's going to make up for it." Stan grinned. "My parents are going out of town, and I'll have the entire house to myself for the weekend. I've going to have a ton of people tonight get fucked up."
"Are you serious?" Kenny asked, wide-eyed. "Man, that could be the most awesome thing. I can go and get fucked up, right?"
Stan nodded eagerly. "Of course. With luck fifty other people will be doing the same thing."
"Yeah," Kyle added, "The more people, the better. Can you come by on Saturday and help us clean up, though? It'll probably get pretty messy."
Kenny nodded. "Totally." He turned around and smiled. "Well, look who's here. Pussy-boy and tweaker-boy." He smirked at his own statement as two boys came up from behind the three. Hopping up on a nearby concrete block, they looked over at the others.
"H-Hey, guys. What are you all doing?" Butters asked, turning to Tweek in hopes that he'd have something to say as well.
Stan stood up and walked up to him. "We're planning a party that we're going to have at my party tonight. You two going to be able to come?" He asked.
"AH! Totally!" Tweek said. "Will there be any drugs or stuff there?"
Kenny laughed again. "You kidding? With any luck at all I'll be able to hook up a keg and enough weed to last a lifetime. I can probably get some other stuff if people are interested in it?"
"L-Like what?" Butters asked timidly.
Kenny shrugged. "Acid or whatever."
Butters turned white. "I-I don't think I'll be able to go to this party, guys. I-It sounds like there'll be a lot of naughty stuff there, and I'm not allowed to do any of that stuff."
Four groans erupted from the other boy's mouths. "You cannot possibly be such a pussy, Butters." Kyle said.
Butters began sweating. "W-Well, it's just..."
"Hold on a second, boys." Kenny said. Jumping onto the concrete block as well, he wrapped his thin around the back of Butters in a friendly way. "I don't think that our dear friend Butters has experienced enough of the fantastic things that life has to offer. So tonight, we've all got to make a pledge to get Butters here drunk for the very first time tonight." He grinned.
"Yeah!" The others immediately began laughing. "Come on, Butters, you've gotta be in for that. It's the best fucking thing ever." Stan said.
Butters, now completely white, looked at Tweek. "W-Well, do you think it'd really be okay, Tweek?" he asked.
Tweek nodded, though it was hard to differentiate it from his twitching. "Totally. You've got to do it at some point in your life, and it might as well be now, in high school, AH!"
The blond boy thought for a moment, and then looked up. "A-All right, then, I'll be there tonight."
"Sweet!" Stan exclaimed. "Damn, this is going to rock so bad. All we need to do is get some hot chicks there, too..."
"What about Wendy? I don't think she'd dig that too much, dude." Kenny snickered, checking the pockets of his parka.
Stan shrugged. "Yeah, but there's gotta be more bitches than just her and her friends, you know? I could ask anyone to come, like Jessica, or Mary, or..."
"Who are all these girls, Stan?" A female voice asked from behind Stan. Jumping in shock, Stan turned to see both Wendy and Bebe standing next to him, arms crossed and grinning at him evilly.
"I'd like to know what you want to do with Jessica and Mary." Wendy said. Stan groaned.
"If you must know, babe," He heard the other boys behind him chuckling and promptly stuck a middle finger on his back, "I'm going to have the house free to myself this weekend, and I was planning a little party there tonight. Can you two come?"
"A party?" Bebe cried. "That'd be great! Clyde and I haven't gotten fucked up together for a fucking long time."
Wendy nodded as well. "Yeah, that could be really fun. Who else will be there, Stan?" She asked.
"Well, all these dudes here. I was also thinking of just asking random people with booze and stuff, just so the rest of us will have the hookups." Stan said.
Kyle walked up to her. "Yeah, we know someone who might have a keg and shit, so that'll be perfect. Would you drink?"
Wendy shrugged. "I can't think of a reason not to. It'll certainly be a relief after getting through this first week of school."
"Totally," Bebe sighed. "It's so hard to believe that we've still got another year of this before we can leave. I just want to graduate and get my ass over to California and party all day."
"Y-You want to go to California?" Butters asked her. She nodded. "Yeah, I've heard about a couple of places that sound real interesting. I'm so fucking tired of Colorado, anyway. I've spent all my life here."
"AH! We all have," Tweek nodded. "I'm ready to get out of here, too." He said. After sighing himself, he looked up. "Well, I'm off to the lunch lines to get some coffee. Anyone want to come with me?"
"Sure, I'll go with you. I could use a bite." Kenny said. The two headed off to the cafeteria area, leaving the five others standing around and searching for something to say to each other.
Their silence was broken when they saw two more boys coming their way. Bebe's smile widened when she saw them approaching.
"Clyde!" She called out, running to intercept them. Not having to make much distance, she ran into the waiting arms of her boyfriend, who snatched her up and exchanged a kiss with her.
"How you doing, baby?" He asked sweetly.
"Awesome. Stan's house is free tonight, so we can both go over there and get fucked up or something."
"Really?" Clyde looked over at Stan. "Your house is free tonight?"
Stan nodded. "Looks like it. My parents are off with my uncle helping out with his crazy-ass hunting show."
"Uncle Jimbo?" Cartman asked. "Dude, I thought he was dead."
Stan glared at him. "My grandpa is dead. Jimbo's just as crazy as ever. That show of his is, like, first in Colorado."
Cartman shrugged. "Wow, does he want a cookie or something? First place in Colorado is nothing big."
"Hey, at least his uncle isn't a fat piece of shit like all the uncles you have!" Kyle hollered angrily. Cartman, infuriated, stood up and walked up to Kyle, staring up at the lanky boy who stood several inches taller than him.
"I'm getting tired of your shit, Jew," he snarled. "If you say anything else like that, I swear I'll kick your sorry ass so hard..."
"Hold on, Eric," Bebe said desperately, getting between the two boys. "We're all going to get fucked up tonight. We can't ruin it now, okay?"
Wendy nodded. "Bebe's right. We can't have anything go wrong. After all, Stan and I need this night together. Right, babe?" She locked herself into Stan's grip and relaxed on his chest, causing him to groan.
Butters, remaining silent, allowed several amusing thoughts to creep into his head. Butters, he thought to himself, even if you do get drunk, this doesn't look like a night you'll want to miss anyway.
A piercing noise rang out from an electronic device that had been placed on the edge of a small tabletop. The device was a piece of plastic that had been hastily sprayed red and in the shape of a racing car. On the front bumper of it flashed several digital numbers, displaying to the world what the time was according to it. After the buzzing noise erupted from it, it began a stream of slurred sounds that attempted to resemble a song of some sort, but only monotonous sounds.
"God, I hate that thing," A voice groaned from underneath several blankets next to the alarm. The blankets had been strung out in disarray on a small bed that served as the centerpiece to the room. The body the voice belonged stuck a lanky arm and slammed I down on the clock, shutting off the annoying sounds. Tossing the sheets off of him, the naked person crawled reluctantly out of the bed and stood up, extending several stretches to that of many minutes.
After finishing his stretch routine, the boy decided it was time to put some clothes on. Opening the top dresser of a bureau, he dug through the clothes with half-shut eyes, finally deciding on a pair of briefs to snap on. Still trying to get used to being awake, he pulled on a white undershirt and an orange jacket on as well, finally finishing the outfit by taking some blue jeans from his closet and fastening them on his legs. Now a bit more accustomed to the new day, he kneeled down at the clock and gazed at its numbers.
"Hmmm..." He let his mind compute the numbers in his brain for a moment. "Just a couple of more minutes before I gotta go. Dammit, Kyle, you're not going to be able to get breakfast today."
A pounding on the locked door disturbed his thoughts. "Kyle! Are you out of bed yet? It's almost time for you to take Ike to school!" A high voice came from the other side.
"All right, mom! I'm getting my clothes on right now, so unless you want me to drive around town naked, give me a freaking minute to change!" Kyle hollered back, now irritated.
"Just hurry up! Ike's been ready for fifteen minutes!" Kyle could hear his mother's heavy footsteps descending the stairs, to which his eyes rolled.
Kyle continued grumbling as he stuffed several pieces of paper and supplies into his backpack. "Crazy bitch, she can take Ike to school, too. So can dad. Why do I have to get stuck with the fucking job?" He muttered to himself in broken talking as he scrounged his items together.
Finally collecting everything, he stood up and sighed. "Well, at least it's Friday now. Just one more day before the weekend." He opened his door and made his way down the steps, where he could see his three other family members sitting around the kitchen table. The youngest one, upon seeing Kyle, immediately leapt from his seat.
"Kyle! We have to leave now! My school starts in ten minutes!" He called frantically, shifting the weight on his backpack.
Kyle shook his head. "Ike, I don't have to be at school for another goddamn half hour. I'm not going to get up any earlier, no matter how much mom and dad complain about it." He glanced at them.
His father, who had been reading the newspaper, lowered it and let his gaze fixate on Kyle. "Now, Kyle," he began, "You know that since both your mother and I work, we need to you help out..."
"Yeah, yeah." Kyle waved his hand in disgust and looked to Ike. "All right, let's get out of here." He said, sighing.
"Great!" Ike hurried to a side door into the home's garage. Flicking on a light, he made his way to the passenger's seat of Kyle's Blazer, while the owner of the truck took considerably longer to find his way in the driver's seat. After starting the car, he pulled out of the driveway and began speeding down the highway. He turned on the radio and settled on a station that was playing generic heavy metal.
"This music cool with you, Ike?" He asked without looking at his brother. Ike thought for a moment as he tried to get a feel for the grinding guitar riffs he was hearing. "Not really." He finally said.
"Too bad." Kyle grinned, pressing down on the gas pedal slightly harder. Ripping his way through the early morning traffic, the maniacal driver finally rounded a corner into a huge parking lot. Off in the distance were several medium-sized buildings, as well as some open fields and portables. Kyle pushed his brother gently.
"All right, dude, get out." He said.
"What?" Ike exclaimed. "We're at the total far end of the lot! I'll be late by the time I get there."
"Not if you hurry, so get the hell out!" Kyle shouted. Sighing loudly, Ike climbed out of the seat. Right before he closed the door, however, he turned around suddenly. "Hey, Kyle?"
Kyle looked at him. "What?"
"Did everything work out with Stan last night? I heard you coming in at, like, twelve-thirty or something." Ike looked concerned as he spoke.
Kyle, remembering his lie, nodded hastily. "Yeah, he had had some trouble with one of his parents, and I was able to help out."
Ike really didn't understand what Kyle had said, but he nodded and smiled. "All right, then. See you later." He slammed the door and turned around, heading off to the junior high school. Kyle sighed.
"All right, now that that's over with." Kyle flipped his car around and began driving in the other direction. As he rode along after a few minutes, he heard a small buzzing noise. Recognizing it as the answering signal from his cell phone, he snapped open the glove compartment on his right. He pulled out a tiny white phone, stuck out the antenna, and pressed it to his ear.
"Yeah?" He called.
He heard static on the other end, but was able to make out a voice. "Kyle? I need some help here."
"Stan? What do you need?" Kyle asked.
"My car isn't working for some reason. You think you can make it over to my house and get me to school?" Stan's faint voice said.
"Sure thing, but why can't your dad take you?"
"It's a surprise, but I promise you it'll be worth it. Can you just come and pick me up?" Stan asked.
"Sure. I'll see you in a sec." Kyle said.
"Thanks. Later." Stan hung up his line, and Kyle soon mimicked him. Tossing his phone back in the glove compartment, he turned his car around yet again, knowing exactly where to go. Making his way through the residential area of the town, he finally parked his car on a side curb and stepped out. Not realizing how cold it was, he shivered for a second before walking up to the front door.
Kyle rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer it. After a second of anticipation, someone who Kyle was taken aback at answered it. The man on the other side of the door seemed similarly surprised.
"Mmm, who are you?" He asked in a mechanical voice.
"I'm Kyle." The boy said assuredly. He eyed the elder man for a moment before a light bulb went off in his head. "Hey, aren't you Ned?"
The large-headed man nodded, his eyes shielded by thick shades but still obviously staring at the boy. "Mmm, yeah, I'm Ned. Wait, are you that friend of Stan's from elementary school?"
Kyle nodded. "Yeah, he said he needs a ride to school. Where is he?" He asked, stepping into the house. He saw another elderly man sitting on the couch and watching TV.
Ned followed him inside. "Mmm, he's in his room. You can wait down here if you want. Jimbo and I were just watching TV." He said, sitting back down and stretching his singular arm.
"Uncle Jimbo's here?" Kyle asked. Before he could answer, however, the person he was referring to stood up to greet him. He took one glance at Kyle and stuck out a hand, grinning ear to ear.
"Ah, boy! Kyle, right?" He asked, a bit unsure.
"Right. It's good to see you again." Kyle smiled, shaking the old man's hand. "How's that show of yours going?"
"Great!" Jimbo grinned. "We're filming a herd of cows right now, and they just passed through the area. We're taking Stan's parents with us for the weekend to try and track them down." He said.
Kyle's eyes widened. "Cool! Is...Is Stan going with you?"
Jimbo and Ned laughed simultaneously. "Nope, so you two have got to be sure that the parties don't get out of hand." Jimbo smiled slyly. Kyle nodded, grinning as well. "Oh, don't worry, Jimbo. We'll make sure everything's fine."
At that moment the third men heard a thudding noise come from the stairs. Stan emerged from them, backpack strapped onto himself and munching on a candy bar. He looked at his uncle, who blushed a bit.
"Heh, howdy, Stan. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't keep the good news from your friend Kyle here."
Stan shrugged. "Who cares? Good news is good news. I really can't thank you enough for getting my parents out of here for the weekend, though, Uncle Jimbo."
Jimbo laughed again. "Hey, what are uncles for? So are your parents still in their room packing for the trip?"
"Yeah. Let's get going though, Kyle. We don't have much time." Kyle only nodded in response. Stan hopped up the steps and turned around. "Well, it was great seeing you guys again."
"You too, Stanley." Jimbo said. Ned waved as well. Stan opened the door and along with Kyle, walked to his waiting truck. The two of them began talking excitedly as soon as they exited the house.
"Man, dude, this weekend is going to be so fucking insane." Kyle said, hopping into the driver's seat again. "You have to invite, like, everyone to your house tonight so we can all get fucked up."
Stan nodded. "Why not tomorrow, though? That'd give us more time to prepare and shit, don't you think?"
"No, tonight's better. Because if we invite enough people, then your house will probably get fairly trashed up, and you can clean it up and do whatever you have to do on Saturday. I'll stay behind, and we can talk some dumbasses like Butters into helping out, too." Kyle grinned.
"Yeah, I bet you're right. Oh, shit!" Stan suddenly shouted.
"What?" Kyle asked, braking slightly.
"You know that football dude, Curtis Wesker?" Stan asked, prompting a nod from Kyle. "That dude's got a keg at his house that he was telling me about. I bet I can talk him into getting it to my place."
Kyle laughed. "Oh god, a keg? That's too fucking sweet. I can bring my stash of vodka and shit over, too. Oh man, this is going to be such a fucking awesome party."
"Yeah, it'll be totally rocking. Now, should we invite anyone in particular? I mean, we've gotta have all the usual people, but who else?" Stan asked.
Kyle shrugged. "Well, we gotta have some people over who're going to have some shit, you know? Oh, we'll definitely have to get Craig's ass over there so everyone can see that rematch."
"Not that again." Stan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but we can just bring it up to anyone. I bet tons of people will be down for it."
"Without a doubt. A house without parents is the most beautiful fucking thing to a high schooler. All right, we're here, dude."
Stan was so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed Kyle parking his car until his friend exited. Stan snapped out of his train of thought and walked out as well. The two continued trading thoughts until they reached the fence that led into the school, which had just been opened for the students to walk freely in and out of. Stan and Kyle made their way to the quad and sat down at a table.
"Alright, so I've going to have bring Wendy to this thing, too. Damn, she can be such a bitch at these parties." Stan said.
Kyle looked at him quizzically. "I've seen the two of you together at parties before, and she didn't seem too bad. What's she done?"
"Just all kinds of crazy shit. This one time she got totally fucking drunk and kept trying to fuck me the entire night. It was horrible."
Kyle laughed hysterically. "Jesus. Was this last summer?"
Stan nodded. "Yeah, it was at some party in Denver. I had gone with Kenny and her, and since both of them were totally tanked, I basically had to be their babysitter for the rest of the night."
"Man, that is too sweet." Kyle said. Sensing someone next to him, he turned around to see a boy that he instantly recognized. "Well, speak of the devil. How you doing, Kenny?" he asked.
"Decent." Kenny sat down. "What have you boys been up to lately? Still sweating through the first day of school?" He asked.
"Yeah, but tonight's going to make up for it." Stan grinned. "My parents are going out of town, and I'll have the entire house to myself for the weekend. I've going to have a ton of people tonight get fucked up."
"Are you serious?" Kenny asked, wide-eyed. "Man, that could be the most awesome thing. I can go and get fucked up, right?"
Stan nodded eagerly. "Of course. With luck fifty other people will be doing the same thing."
"Yeah," Kyle added, "The more people, the better. Can you come by on Saturday and help us clean up, though? It'll probably get pretty messy."
Kenny nodded. "Totally." He turned around and smiled. "Well, look who's here. Pussy-boy and tweaker-boy." He smirked at his own statement as two boys came up from behind the three. Hopping up on a nearby concrete block, they looked over at the others.
"H-Hey, guys. What are you all doing?" Butters asked, turning to Tweek in hopes that he'd have something to say as well.
Stan stood up and walked up to him. "We're planning a party that we're going to have at my party tonight. You two going to be able to come?" He asked.
"AH! Totally!" Tweek said. "Will there be any drugs or stuff there?"
Kenny laughed again. "You kidding? With any luck at all I'll be able to hook up a keg and enough weed to last a lifetime. I can probably get some other stuff if people are interested in it?"
"L-Like what?" Butters asked timidly.
Kenny shrugged. "Acid or whatever."
Butters turned white. "I-I don't think I'll be able to go to this party, guys. I-It sounds like there'll be a lot of naughty stuff there, and I'm not allowed to do any of that stuff."
Four groans erupted from the other boy's mouths. "You cannot possibly be such a pussy, Butters." Kyle said.
Butters began sweating. "W-Well, it's just..."
"Hold on a second, boys." Kenny said. Jumping onto the concrete block as well, he wrapped his thin around the back of Butters in a friendly way. "I don't think that our dear friend Butters has experienced enough of the fantastic things that life has to offer. So tonight, we've all got to make a pledge to get Butters here drunk for the very first time tonight." He grinned.
"Yeah!" The others immediately began laughing. "Come on, Butters, you've gotta be in for that. It's the best fucking thing ever." Stan said.
Butters, now completely white, looked at Tweek. "W-Well, do you think it'd really be okay, Tweek?" he asked.
Tweek nodded, though it was hard to differentiate it from his twitching. "Totally. You've got to do it at some point in your life, and it might as well be now, in high school, AH!"
The blond boy thought for a moment, and then looked up. "A-All right, then, I'll be there tonight."
"Sweet!" Stan exclaimed. "Damn, this is going to rock so bad. All we need to do is get some hot chicks there, too..."
"What about Wendy? I don't think she'd dig that too much, dude." Kenny snickered, checking the pockets of his parka.
Stan shrugged. "Yeah, but there's gotta be more bitches than just her and her friends, you know? I could ask anyone to come, like Jessica, or Mary, or..."
"Who are all these girls, Stan?" A female voice asked from behind Stan. Jumping in shock, Stan turned to see both Wendy and Bebe standing next to him, arms crossed and grinning at him evilly.
"I'd like to know what you want to do with Jessica and Mary." Wendy said. Stan groaned.
"If you must know, babe," He heard the other boys behind him chuckling and promptly stuck a middle finger on his back, "I'm going to have the house free to myself this weekend, and I was planning a little party there tonight. Can you two come?"
"A party?" Bebe cried. "That'd be great! Clyde and I haven't gotten fucked up together for a fucking long time."
Wendy nodded as well. "Yeah, that could be really fun. Who else will be there, Stan?" She asked.
"Well, all these dudes here. I was also thinking of just asking random people with booze and stuff, just so the rest of us will have the hookups." Stan said.
Kyle walked up to her. "Yeah, we know someone who might have a keg and shit, so that'll be perfect. Would you drink?"
Wendy shrugged. "I can't think of a reason not to. It'll certainly be a relief after getting through this first week of school."
"Totally," Bebe sighed. "It's so hard to believe that we've still got another year of this before we can leave. I just want to graduate and get my ass over to California and party all day."
"Y-You want to go to California?" Butters asked her. She nodded. "Yeah, I've heard about a couple of places that sound real interesting. I'm so fucking tired of Colorado, anyway. I've spent all my life here."
"AH! We all have," Tweek nodded. "I'm ready to get out of here, too." He said. After sighing himself, he looked up. "Well, I'm off to the lunch lines to get some coffee. Anyone want to come with me?"
"Sure, I'll go with you. I could use a bite." Kenny said. The two headed off to the cafeteria area, leaving the five others standing around and searching for something to say to each other.
Their silence was broken when they saw two more boys coming their way. Bebe's smile widened when she saw them approaching.
"Clyde!" She called out, running to intercept them. Not having to make much distance, she ran into the waiting arms of her boyfriend, who snatched her up and exchanged a kiss with her.
"How you doing, baby?" He asked sweetly.
"Awesome. Stan's house is free tonight, so we can both go over there and get fucked up or something."
"Really?" Clyde looked over at Stan. "Your house is free tonight?"
Stan nodded. "Looks like it. My parents are off with my uncle helping out with his crazy-ass hunting show."
"Uncle Jimbo?" Cartman asked. "Dude, I thought he was dead."
Stan glared at him. "My grandpa is dead. Jimbo's just as crazy as ever. That show of his is, like, first in Colorado."
Cartman shrugged. "Wow, does he want a cookie or something? First place in Colorado is nothing big."
"Hey, at least his uncle isn't a fat piece of shit like all the uncles you have!" Kyle hollered angrily. Cartman, infuriated, stood up and walked up to Kyle, staring up at the lanky boy who stood several inches taller than him.
"I'm getting tired of your shit, Jew," he snarled. "If you say anything else like that, I swear I'll kick your sorry ass so hard..."
"Hold on, Eric," Bebe said desperately, getting between the two boys. "We're all going to get fucked up tonight. We can't ruin it now, okay?"
Wendy nodded. "Bebe's right. We can't have anything go wrong. After all, Stan and I need this night together. Right, babe?" She locked herself into Stan's grip and relaxed on his chest, causing him to groan.
Butters, remaining silent, allowed several amusing thoughts to creep into his head. Butters, he thought to himself, even if you do get drunk, this doesn't look like a night you'll want to miss anyway.
