Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Fading into the background's fanfic references are used with permission.
Author's note: This chapter has tons of references to the Kuchiki Salvation Trilogy; but for those of you who don't remember, the name of Banzo Ichihime's zanpakutou is Shiji.
Translator's note: 'Baka' means 'idiot' or 'fool'. It is the most common Japanese insult.
"Tch. In real life, the exciting is always interrupted by the mundane. Now don't you have paperwork to do?"
~5th division vice captain Hinamori Momo, to her nephew Hitsugaya Makahiro; nearly two centuries from now
"There are some nobles who find a pressing need to hear themselves talk a tad too much."
~Kuchiki Hisako, teasing her best friend about her father;
approximately one hundred years from now
"Yeah, well, there are also some nobles who teach their kids about a grammatical construct called contractions."
~Shihoin Zarina, in humorous retort
Meanwhile
Ichihime waited nervously. She really wanted a drink - something with lots of alcohol - but knew that wasn't exactly a way to make a good impression.
"Banzo-no-kimi?"
Ichihime looked over her shoulder at a tall, strikingly handsome man in a burgundy kimono. He had maple hair and a boyish face, with deep brown eyes and a gentle nose. His pleasing appearance almost made her forget that he had referred to her by the stuffiest honorific possible. "Yes?"
"I had no idea you were waiting for me, I'm terribly sorry! Did I get the wrong time?"
"No, Nikayui-san," she smiled anxiously as she stood to properly greet him with a tiny bow. "I just like to be early, that's all."
"Please, call me Adame," he said, bowing in turn. "I hope Your Grace wasn't waiting too long."
Ichihime tried very hard not to shudder at the excessive formality. It grated her ears, but she was a Head of the Four Houses meeting with someone from the lowest of the Upper Noble Families. There was no way she could avoid it. "No, not at all. 'Ichihime', if you don't mind, Adame-san."
He gestured for her to sit, and politely helped her with her chair. Ichihime normally never let her servant staff when they tried to do this for her, but this was different; he was just being chivalrous. He then sat down across from her, and then gave her a warm smile. "I'm honored to have this opportunity to meet with you. You look lovely."
Ichihime looked down at her kimono. It wasn't particularly elegant; a simple pink-and-purple striped pattern that she had thrown on over her shinigami uniform, since she didn't have time to fully change. She wondered if the compliment was simply a polite gesture. Ichihime hadn't even had the opportunity to dye her hair recently, and her platinum blond roots were visible in her otherwise lavender hair. Which, under the circumstances, should have been braided as per her station as Head of Banzo House. So for all intents and purposes, she was considered unkempt by societal standards.
Plus, she thought, a lady whose face looks like a truck drove over it doesn't ever really look lovely. "You are too kind," she returned politely.
He laughed, correctly interpreting her remarks. "I was being genuinely sincere, Ichihime-sama."
That was particularly surprising. Ichihime was so far off the typical noble wavelength that no one ever accurately divined her mannerisms. It bespoke of either an unusually insightful mind, or a man who had done lots of homework. Either way, it reflected positively on him. Regardless, if the compliment was sincere, it was not something she generally believed. Rather than taint the moment with an insistent denial, she let it drop - although that left her a bit dumbfounded, as she wasn't sure what to say. Ichihime was not exactly a skilled conversationalist, especially not for these kinds of stuffy chats.
In that moment of speechlessness, Ichihime realized that this entire evening was likely to be a complete and total disaster. Crash and burn from beginning to end. Had her father been alive, he would have orchestrated it; inviting Nikayui Adame and his father to arrange a formal introduction and to agree on a right for Adame to court her. Ichihime had been familiar with the process - she had gone through it many times before in her younger years. It had been a while, though - she had refused to allow her father to make any more arrangements for her after she was jilted by Shiba Isshashine, the brother-in-law of her captain. She had no taste for the pomp and circumstance - it left a bitter taste in her mouth, to be sure - and did not want Adame's father there at all. Ichihime and Adame were both adults. They could do this themselves, thank you very much. Besides, she was the Head of House now. If she told the Head of the Nikayui family that Adame needed to be escorted this evening by a frog with a bow tie, they would need to make it happen. Asking them to forego the parental involvement and tone down the noble trappings was not outside of her jurisdiction.
In hindsight, though, Ichihime had perhaps taken it a bit too far. Perhaps coming to this initial meeting straight from the office was unwise. At first, she told herself she didn't care - that she was doing this to prove that she should just exhaust her options so she could go back and beg Renji to forgive her. Now that she was here, though, she realized that it would have been better if she had taken this a bit more seriously. The last thing she needed was to shame her House by coming to a courtship proposal like a slob.
She was lost in quiet self-recrimination, but Adame didn't seem to be bothered by what he perceived as bashfulness. Either that, or he was clever enough to be smooth about it. Ichihime wasn't sure. "How about we order some appetizers?" he suggested. "I'm sure you're hungry, having to wait here with all these wonderful aromas."
"Sure." Honestly, she wasn't hungry, despite the wafting smell of food. As was befitting a meeting to discuss an arranged marriage between upper nobility, they were in a very expensive restaraunt; probably even too expensive for the Nikayui family. Ichihime thought the Nikayui family's suggestion to eat here was unnecessarily gracious, but Ichihime didn't want to offend them by recommending somewhere else. It could have been interpreted as a belief that the Nikayui family was inadequately prepared to take care of Ichihime as per her current comforts.
Which, of course, was preposterous. While Ichihime was filthy stinking rich, she had no use for money other than to make sure her relatively small House staff was properly compensated. It wasn't like she had a big family to support with the inheritance she received; and her income as a vice captain was more than adequate to pay for her basic personal expenses. The House of Banzo, once hundreds of members and cousins and children and grandchildren, had amassed all that wealth for Ichihime. All of it for Ichihime, the sole survivor outside the King's Realm, to spend alone. As one of Soul Society's four largest landowners, the income Ichihime made monthly on her rental properties alone was probably more than the Nikayui family made in an entire year. Even if you never met Banzo Ichihime and never learned of her disdain for luxury, to believe that she would be concerned over the continuation of her current comforts was absurd.
A waiter came over to their table at Adame's gesture, providing a menu to both of them. "Oyasemi, Ue-sama. How may I help you this evening?"
Ichihime ordered some rice tempura to start. She knew it was a pedestrian dish, but she liked simple food. Adame insisted that she try the negimaki, so he ordered that and then some sashimi for himself. "Would you like to order some sake?"
Hell yes, she thought. I want it on IV if I'm going to survive this. Despite her intense desire, though, Ichihime forced herself to decline graciously; and the waiter departed.
"So if you don't mind me asking, do you enjoy your career in the Gotei 13?"
"Yes, very much," Ichihime replied, her princess speech practiced and rehearsed.
"I have heard that you are a very dedicated lieutenant," Adame commented. "Urahara Kisuke speaks very highly of you."
Hey Shiji, remind me to kill that devious bastard of a captain when I get a chance. Kami only knows what he said about me. "You are close with Urahara Taicho?"
"No, not particularly; but he recently came to us to find out more about our production process. My father had inquired about you."
Oh, look at that - a meddling father. Like you didn't have enough of those already, Hime-sama.
Oh please not now, Shiji. Honest to God, I love your wisecracking dearly, but you're going to make me slip my princess speech. I can't afford that.
Fair enough, Hime-sama. I shall remain quiet.
"Forgive my ignorance, Adame-san, but I regret to say that I know very little about the Nikayui family's industrial affairs." Ugh, what a ridiculous way to ask someone what they do for a living.
"No, please, forgive me; I forget that not everyone is as interested in our business affairs as we are," he said humorously. Ichihime noted that he was very much at ease; and she found his easygoing nature infectious. He had a relaxing, comforting aura about him. "We are one of the smithery families employed by the Gotei 13. We produce the various katana, wakizashi, tachi, kodachi, nodachi, tantos, jitte, ninjite, and other asauchi for Shinou Academy graduates each year. We also handle proper disposal and recycling of older weapons."
"Fascinating," Ichihime said sincerely. Ichihime doubted he knew that she was a master woodworker, a hobby she had pursued for over half a century by now. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing a Head of House would generally advertise - too many members of the elite aristocracy would love the opportunity to pin her with the plebian label of a carpenter. Not that Ichihime believed there was anything wrong with being a carpenter, of course; but she wasn't the one who established the feudal system of Sereitei so she had to play the silly dignity games. "Are you an actual smith, or do you only handle the business matters?"
"Both, actually. Well, sort of. I don't actually work on the smithing of the blades, but I do work on the production. I oversee the leather and cloth wrappings used on the hilts for most of the weapons."
"Do you like it?"
"I do, yes!" he said quite enthusiastically. "My brothers tease me that it's not very masculine to be more interested in sewing than the metalwork, but I find it honestly very therapeutic."
Ichihime laughed. "That's quite funny."
The food arrived, and they began to eat as they politely chatted about past culinary experiences, comparing tastes. It turned out that neither of them liked eel, while they both loved avocado.
"This negimaki is indeed delicious," Ichihime commented, impressed with herself that her princess speech was holding out. How long she could continue, she wasn't sure; but so far so good.
"See? I told you that you would enjoy it."
Ichihime smiled wide. She was surprised at how much of a good time she was having. Ichihime had honestly anticipated that she would be thinking about her miserable breakup with Renji and how awful it was - but instead of thinking about how much she missed his company, she was actually quite carefree at the moment. She had worried she would be constantly comparing Adame to Renji and vice versa, but no such thoughts had even entered her mind. Adame seemed very nice, and he was good at keeping the conversation easily afloat. The fact that he was extraordinarily handsome didn't hurt.
They finished their appetizers, and the waiter returned to clear their table and ask about entrees. Adame ordered something that sounded like chicken terayaki over a bed of lotus roots, Ichihime took a simple braised mooglefish in lemon-pepper sauce. The waiter departed, and Ichihime was beginning to wonder if maybe this wasn't such a bad idea, after all.
"Ichihime-sama, there is something I wanted to speak with you about."
Nevermind, Ichihime thought. Maybe I spoke too soon. "What is it, Adame-san?"
"I have a bit of a confession to make. My younger brother recommended against me meeting with you, and to be honest, I think he had good reason. From what I've heard, I am under the impression that Your Grace has been in a long-term relationship with one of the captains of the Gotei 13. My brother believed that it was perhaps... unwise for me to meet with you, seeing as you may still be emotionally invested elsewhere."
"So then, why did you agree to meet with me, Adame-san?" Ichihime asked, cautious but not willing to jump to conclusions.
Adame sighed. "The truth is, Banzo-no-kimi, that I am no stranger to complicated emotions. I love my mother, but I also resent her for having left us when I was young."
Ichihime was impressed that he was so forthcoming. Her experience with most other nobles was that family problems were kept in the family, and never uttered to those outside. His open honesty was refreshing. She began to question if she had come into this with prejudices of her own.
Thinking about it more, Ichihime wondered if Adame knew that Nikayui Shirani had been summoned into the Royal Guard. That was classified information in the Gotei 13, and usually only captains knew about it. Ichihime and Rukia were the only lieutenants who knew anything about the Royal Guard at all, given that as members of the Four Houses, their families were so heavily intertwined with Division Zero. Although Rukia, who was not of the Noble Bloodline, would never be eligible for recruitment - so she wasn't officially in the know. As a result, she didn't know very much about the identities of the people in it. She didn't even know that her own grandfather, Kuchiki Ginrei, was the Spirit King.
Adame continued. "I am the sixth of seven brothers. While I have a good relationship with my youngest brother, he is patiently waiting for me to marry so that he can finally wed his love of many years. Furthermore, it is extraordinarily rare that someone from my family is given an opportunity to marry into the Four Houses, and so there is a lot of unspoken pressure resting on my shoulders. I may not be enamored with these archaic notions of what should define the responsibilities of Soul Society nobility, but I am in no position to run away from my obligations."
Ichihime wasn't sure where he was going at this point, although he scored points for the 'archaic notions' remark. "If I may comment, Nikayui-dono, but you seem to be rambling," she teased, hoping that she would appear flirtatious rather than critical.
"Perhaps," he chuckled. "I guess I am saying this: I can only imagine that you are feeling a somewhat similar pressure to rush into marriage. In fact, I suspect that you would have never made overtures to the Nikayui family had that not been the case. I want to be clear, though - I understand that the duties of nobility would suggest that we should simply marry without further question. This was the basis of my brother's advice against meeting in the first place, lest it lead us to a point where we are both unhappy."
He clenched his fists, and his jaw was firm. "But I am not willing to march blindly down the path that others have forced us down. If you permit me to be honest, Banzo-no-kimi, I do not want to marry you unless we both actually want to, for our own sake."
Ichihime's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Are you saying, Nikayui-dono, that you wish only to marry for the sake of love? That nothing else will suffice?"
He sighed and blushed, clearly embarassed. "Foolish, I know. Nobility is not supposed to entertain such frivolity. But that is who I am, and I cannot - and will not - change. But I agreed to meet with you anyway, because I know that in real life, relationships are not trivial affairs. And regardless of whatever circumstances you are in, I owe you the same right to have an opportunity to be as open and honest as I have. I'm sure you still have doubts and regrets about your previous relationship, and I need to be sensitive to that - so I agreed to meet with you. This way, at the very least, you would have a chance to decide that maybe now isn't a good time to think about marriage. And if that's the case, then I will have to accept it. If you ultimately decide to meet with me again, then it is for my even greater benefit; and if you ultimately decide to return to your previous companion, then it was never going to be to my benefit, anyway.
"So I disregarded my brother's advice, and I find myself here, making substantially much more of a fool of myself before Your Eminent Grace than I had initially expected," he laughed meekly, unable to read her blank stare. "But I thought that would be better than both of us pretending that we were completely free from anxiety over this."
"Is there anything else, Adame-san?" Ichihime asked, her voice quiet and unsteady.
"No, Your Eminent Grace," he answered, a bit shamefaced.
Ichihime reached across the table for his collar, pulled him towards her, and planted a deep, satisfying kiss on his mouth. She spared no hint nor used any sort of subtlety. She didn't give one rat's ass that everyone saw her making out in public and how inappropriate that might be for a Head of House. Right now, she didn't care about anything other than the fact that she was kissing him.
"Please, Adame-san - 'Ichihime' really is fine," she whispered, letting him go. He just looked at her, completely dumbstruck for a minute - but finally nodded with a smile and breathed a sigh of relief.
No, Ichihime thought. This really wasn't a bad idea at all.
-:-
Rantao entered Kyoraku Shunsui's office with the intention of thanking him for dinner the night before. It had been her first social opportunity in a while, and Shunsui had been a perfect gentleman despite the many warnings she received about his philandering tendencies. She had expected to find him and Ukitake's wife Kiyone (Kiku couldn't remember the 8th division lieutenant's maiden name) in the office, but she realized after-the-fact that perhaps it would have been wiser to knock before she opened the door. Shunsui was sitting at his desk. The vice captain wasn't there, but someone else was.
Had Rantao not been so adept at putting her foot in her mouth faster than the speed of light, she would have remembered that despite being a generation younger and Shunsui's daughter, Ise Nanao was one of the highest ranking members in the military. Suffice it to say, Rantao had spent too many years amongst a tight group of shinigami who had grown to be casual over the years, and military protocol had been a bit lax there. If she had been a bit more used to formalities, it would have prevented her from saying something spectacularly stupid. "Ise-shosho? What are you doing in a sailor fuku?"
The dark-haired, bespectaled woman stood to her full height, and Rantao instantly realized that she was too tall to be the Head of the Kido Corps. This woman was the same height as Rantao, and Ise was definitely a few inches shorter than Rantao was. "Ise-shosho? Ise Nanao?" the woman asked with a sneer. The woman then turned back to Shunsui, yelling at him. "Nanao-chan is a general? You mean you didn't tell me?" True to form, she punched him in the forehead hard enough to knock him - and his chair - backwards on to the floor.
"Ah, Rantao-san," Kyoraku spoke lazily from the floor, seemingly unfazed. "Allow me to introduce you to Lisa-chan, who was my vice captain before Nanao-chan."
"Nice to meet you," Kiku extended her hand as per American customs, forgetting that Soul Society was more accustomed to Japanese traditions. "I've always wanted to meet Ise-san's mother."
Lisa glared at her with a dark, brooding, harsh stare. "Ise-san's... mother?" She then gave Kyoraku a violent kick in the side. "What the hell have you been telling people? You asshole!"
Rantao sweated uncomfortably. "Uh, I'm sorry, I just assumed... uh, given the resemblance," she backtracked. "I didn't mean to offend you." Dear god, I suck. I am such a loser.
"Yare yare, Lisa-chan, is it so bad to be mistaken for Nanao-chan's mother, ne?" Kyoraku asked casually as he tried to get up from the floor. I mean, really, he thought. She's just like you. The violence and vindictive temperament are exactly the same.
Lisa kicked him down again. She was furious with him. The Winter War had been ten years ago. He had made no effort to get back in touch with her after he found out she had been alive after all these years. He hadn't even thought to send a postcard telling her about Nanao's promotion, whatever it was - and that was unforgivable. "Shut up!"
"Why don't I, uh, just come back later...?" Kiku asked nervously.
"No, nevermind, I was just leaving," Lisa spat. Turning to face Rantao, she added, "I hope he treats you better than he treated me." Rantao winced as the door slammed behind her with enough force to shake the entire 8th division office.
Shunsui got to his feet. "Yare, Rantao-san. I'm sorry you had to meet Lisa-chan like that."
Kiku excused herself. "Um, yeah. You know what, Kyouraku-san - uh, I'm sorry, but I forgot about some paperwork that Urahara Taicho left for me. I'll, uh, catch you later, okay?"
Kyoraku Shunsui sighed. He saw right through her, but let it go. "Perhaps after work, then?"
Rantao should have said no, but she was honestly too meek to assert herself. "Yeah, sure; whatever, that's fine." Eager to get out of yet-another-awkward situation that she created, she left the office in a hurry.
-:-
Nanao was seriously beginning to regret her decision. "Fuwu-san," she began patiently, "this is not the same as the Kuchiki-Shiba wedding."
Of course, the moment Nanao heard from Isane that she was getting married, the first thing out her mouth (after congratulations) was an offer to help Isane plan the wedding; considering that Nanao had a talent for these things. Not surprisingly, Isane accepted with a thousand thank-yous.
Word got around fast, because the very next morning Nanao's vice captain was begging her to let him help plan the wedding. She reluctantly accepted, knowing that Fuwu was little good for anything other than mindless paperwork. He was too fat to go on missions, anyway.
"Of course not, Shosho-sama! But do you think Kotetsu-san would go for the silver plate covers, or do you think she would simply prefer the crystal ones?"
"Fuwu-san, for the umpteenth time: this is not a noble's affair," she said, completely exasperated. "This is a humble gathering of ordinary shinigami with ordinary budgets. Plate covers are an unnecessary expense and would be considered way too lavish to be tasteful for such a small wedding of the common folk."
Just stab him already!
Shut up, Saya. If I listened to you every time you asked me to stab Fuwu, he would have more holes than a plague beggar fed to a hungry shark with a mouth full of porcupines.
Hey, I remember that! That was a long time ago, back before you were a Handoshi general, I think. You got a commendation for dreaming up that punishment, didn't you?
SHUT UP! Nanao screamed back telepathically, flicking the crossguard of her weapon with her finger.
Ouch! That hurt! Saya said, clutching her face in Nanao's inner world. If you're gonna spank me, at least do it on my ass where I like it!
Enough of you, Nanao threatened, or the next time I buy a watermelon I'm not giving you any.
Saya sighed. She hated the vegan diet, but fresh fruit was one of the highlights. I still want to stab him, though. C'mon, don't you?
If I promise to give you some cabernet, will you be quiet already? Nanao begged.
Deal!
Good, now SHUT. UP.
Yes, Brigadier General, sir!
Nanao turned her attention back to her vice captain, whose brow was knitted in the most ridiculously fairy-fluttered, I'm-a-giant-pixie-with-a-mustache-who-just-got-his-wings-pulled-off expression of disappointment. "Shosho-sama, do you think the fifty year-old Higurashi single-malt sake is a bit much, then? Maybe we should just go with the blended thirty?"
"By the iron gates of Purgatory, Fuwu-san - neither Isane-san nor Yamada-san would know the difference between a ten-year-old bottle of whiskey and a barrel of rubbing alcohol! Now unless you want me to drown you in a bucket of either one, can you please stick to the budget?"
Fuwu frowned. Enormous globs of fat (that were theoretically identified as his chin) bobbed up and down in a fashion that Nanao found deeply disturbing. "Oh, alright. So how many bridesmaid's dresses should we order again?"
"Two," Nanao answered curtly. She had answered this particular question several times now. Kiyone and Nanao were the lucky guests of honor; with Unohana Taicho officiating.
"And do we order them from Mendoza & Sons, or should we go with Keita-Kurona?"
Nanao seethed. Those were the two most expensive tailors in Sereitei. "Neither."
"But-"
"Fuwu-san, you have twenty seconds to get lost. Otherwise, I'm going to practice some of my experimental bahudo on you."
The blob of congealed flesh became a blob of congealed sweat. "Uh, I thought your branch of recent kido theory was called 'bahido', Shosho-sama."
"Correct, that is bahido. 'Bahudo' is about what happens when you combine the darkest arts of hado with medical kido to induce unique kinds of pain on people."
"Ah," he laughed nervously. "And when did you, ah, begin to formulate the ideas behind this new branch of kido, Shosho-sama?"
"In the past three minutes," Nanao said, glaring at him.
Fuwu gulped. "Ah, yes, then, uh, well, I'll leave you to your studies, then."
Nanao breathed a sigh of relief as Fuwu made a quick exit.
See, I told you that you should have just stabbed him.
Nanao flicked her zanpakutou, hard. "No wine for you," she spat.
Aw, nuts! And I was so good!
Behave, and maybe I'll give you some strawberries.
Saya sighed. Okay... but could I at least get some tomato juice?
Nanao gave the telepathic equivalent of a raised eyebrow.
Hey, if I can't have the real thing, at least let me be nostalgic, alright?
You're really creepy, you know that?
Hey, you like it in the bottom. I just like an actual Bloody Mary every now and then. We all have our deviant tastes.
Nanao flicked her zanpakutou again. No strawberries for you, and definitely no juice!
But Siisssteeerrr-!
Whine at me, and Kazeshini is going to bitch and moan that I locked you in a drawer for the night.
No! No! Please, I promise, I'll be good! I promise, really!
Nanao smiled triumphantly. She had to admit that she knew herself well. The threat of lost sex worked every time.
-:-
Kiku ran back to her division office, hoping to get in front of a computer. At least Rantao Kiku knew how to talk to computers without making a fool out of herself. She opened the door, only to have her captain crash right into her. Kiku fell back onto her butt, sullying her lab coat. Now all she felt like was crying.
"Sorry, Rantao-san," Urahara apologized, helping her up. "Emergency captain's meeting, I'm in a bit of a hurry. Can you go through the expense reports on my desk? This meeting is going to take a while."
"Yeah, sure," she offered. Kiku was at least relieved that she had paperwork to do, so that when Shunsui came for her later, she wouldn't have to be caught lying to him. Because yes, she really was that pathetic.
-:-
Three months ago
Naji Futama punched in the codes into the inbound senkai gate. "Welcome back, Sasakibe Fukutaicho."
The grey-haired, mustached man looked at him with a relatively bored stare. "Thank you," he replied flatly, and then began walking back to the 1st division compound.
-:-
Back to the present
"Ragnarok! ?" Kuukaku exclaimed. "No way, that's crazy."
Even in the most formal of settings, Byakuya's wife never seemed to be able to shake her Rukongai habits. Byakuya sighed, which earned him an elbow from her. He loved his second wife like she was a divine treasure given to an undeserving man, but there were times when he wished she was a captain of a division other than the 5th; only because that way she wouldn't be in position to poke and prod him during captain's meetings.
Unohana spoke softly. "From Kurosaki Taicho's secondhand description, it does indeed seem to be the sword of Ho Shin Yang."
"Yama-jii, how does that work? I thought old Yang-jii kicked the bucket a while ago."
Yamamoto nodded. "His grave is in the 1st division compound."
Jushiro turned to Urahara next to him. "I thought a zanpakutou dies when its owner dies...?"
Nanao, who was standing next to the Soutaicho, interrupted while glancing at both Yamamoto and Kyoraku. "...I would say that there are known cases where zanapakutou have outlived their master's lifetimes."
Hitsugaya drew his sword as if to supply the evidence. "I agree. Here's an example."
Renji, who was one of the younger captains, mused out loud. "That's right. Hyorinmaru is a special case of where the zanpakutou chose the wielder, not the other way around. How many blades are like that?"
Urahara aired himself with that stupid fan of his, attempting to look mysterious while sounding cheeky. "Well, I know that it's not a completely unheard of phenomena, but I'll have to look in the files. Obviously, we can check the zanpakutou registers and look for patterns."
"Zanpakutou registers?" Yumichika asked, puzzled.
Soifon rolled her eyes. "What would the registers tell us? Alpha, beta, gamma, delta? Why is that information important?"
Ichigo was confused. "Um, could someone explain?"
Zaraki grumbled. "Thanks, kid. If Urahara starts yapping, we're not getting out of here until tomorrow."
Yamamoto slammed his staff on the floor in annoyance. When things had quieted down, he spoke. "Urahara Taicho, could you explain how the zanpakutou registers are going to help your research? We normally keep those as classified information."
"Well, as most of us know, all personnel files document a shinigami's zanpakutou, which belong to a general classification. Alpha zanpakutou is the category of melee-oriented blades, the most common type. The beta category represents the kido-based zanpakutou, and is the second largest category. Gamma weapons are those that have little effect on the weapon but have some intrinsic benefit for the wielder, such as enhanced speed or endurance; this category is relatively uncommon. Delta blades are where we throw in anything that can't be categorized."
"I don't understand," Komamura asked. "None of this information is classified. We all know about our officers' zanpakutou classifications; even most of ours are fairly obvious."
"Ah, but those are just the basic categories," Urahara continued. "There are several additional registrations that are less commonly reviewed. For example; the omicron label identifies all of the zanpakutou wielded by the various spirit kings throughout history. Zanpakutou that have belonged to those who have achieved shikai are recorded in the eta files; bankai users' zanpakutou are listed in the theta records. Some of the registrations, such as the aforementioned omicron register and those with sigma or omega status, are classified."
"And this interests us because...?" Soifon asked, trying as hard as possible to sound annoyed with him. It didn't take much convincing.
"Sigma zanpakutou, like Hyorinmaru, are extremely rare. They are agents of Fate that were supposedly used to construct the universe itself, and are completely sentient beings that exist within their own cycle of life. In many ways, they are comparable to the little we know about zotokai. They are nearly almost always classified in the beta category of kido zanpakutou as well, and we are fortunate enough to have two of them amongst the Gotei 13," Uraraha explained, gesturing to both Hitsugaya and Yamamoto. "The reason for keeping quiet about sigma zanpakutou is that we don't want others to know which zanpakutou are capable of outliving their masters."
"Are you suggesting that Ragnarok was a sigma zanpakutou?" Ukitake asked.
"I'd have to check the register, but it's highly unlikely. On the other hand, Ragnarok was almost certainly classified as an omega weapon, though."
"Which is...?" Soifon asked, impatient.
Nanao interrupted. "Zanpakutou with powers that are so easily abused that we are likely better off without them. It was not unheard of in centuries past for their wielders to be executed for minor infractions, just to prevent them from turning against the Gotei 13."
"Isn't that a bit harsh?" Ichigo asked.
Hitsugaya answered with a bitter taste in his mouth, thinking of his only family in Soul Society: his sister, Hinamori Momo. "I'm willing to bet Aizen's Kyouka Suigetsu was classified as an omega weapon - why didn't we execute him for the sake of his sword once we knew about it?"
Ukitake spoke up quickly - it was evident he felt passionate about this subject. "If we killed everyone with an omega blade, we would be doing a great disservice to the Gotei 13. Many of our greatest shinigami, ones who were stirling examples of the best qualities of humanity, had omega zanpakutou."
Nanao made a mental note that the captain of the 5th didn't seem to catch Jushiro's point of reference.
Soifon snorted. "Are you serious? You mean we could have hung Aizen on a technicality and avoided the Winter War altogether? How come us captains were not made aware of this? Because we were afraid of executing Aizen by mistake?"
"Precisely why the information is classified," Byakuya retorted. He never liked the sour leader of the Onmitsukido; she had always grated him the wrong way. "It is not for us to decide. Hindsight distorts the vision of the present."
"Of course, of course," Urahara agreed. "My own fukutaicho has an omega zanpakutou."
Soifon snorted again. "Tch, Byakuya-san. Having kids made you soft."
Yamamoto smacked his staff against the floor. "That's enough, Soifon Taicho," he glowered. He could see both Byakuya and Kuukaku seething down the line, and Yamamoto was loathe to have his division heads angered at each other when a clearly organized threat had found access to one of the most powerful zanpakutou in existence. "Urahara Taicho, please continue," he urged, glaring at anyone who seemed to forget the focus of the meeting. "Are there any other classifications you think would be important to share with the group?"
"I'm not sure," Urahara began. "As far as I know, only sigma zanpakutou remain after their owners die, but even then, they recede to their other world and lie dormant, leaving behind the lifeless blade. Off the top of my head, I don't know of any other zanpakutou that outlive their owners. Well, actually, now that I think about it, there is the extreme possibility of a chi blade, of course; but I doubt it."
"What's a 'chi blade'?" Ichigo asked.
Zaraki rolled his eyes. "Oh, great. Thanks, kid. Now we're really going to have listen to his fifteen-hour science lesson."
Urahara ignored the peanut gallery. "Let's see, how to explain this... okay, well, let's put it this way. First, a bit of a lesson on spirit owners."
Zaraki shook his head, and Soifon rolled her eyes with an inaudible grumble. Kuukaku gave Urahara a skeptical glare.
"A plus is commonly thought of as a soul, but there is a difference. A soul is 'owned' by the real world - it is either still attached to a living human's body; or its human life is dead, and it needs to move on to Soul Society. In most cases, the soul finds its own way. In many cases, shinigami send the soul on using konso; usually a preventative measure to keep the soul from becoming a hollow. The last way, of course, is when a soul becomes a hollow, and then a shinigami purifies it by killing it, such as with a zanpakutou or with kido."
Nanao interrupted. "There are other beings besides shinigami that can purify hollows as well," she said pointedly.
"Yes," Urahara clarified on a tangent. "Kurosaki Taicho's unofficial 4th Seat, Sado Yasutora, for example. He can purify hollows with his own hollow-based energy, and a vaizard's cero will oddly enough also purify a hollow. Although hollow-based energies usually absorb hollows rather than purify them, these are some of the known cases where purification is possible. We tend to think that intent may play a large part of whether or not hollow-based attacks can purify a soul or not. In any case, the truth is, hollow purification is not exclusive to shinigami, although the exceptions represent a very negligible set of cases."
"On with it," Zaraki sneered. "If this goes on forever, Yachiru is eventually going to find where I hid the candy."
Kisuke gulped. He had the unfortunate experience of having the pink-haired terror storm his laboratory once on a sugar high. Never again. "Uh, yes, indeed. Where was I? Ahah. Okay," he said, breathing again. "A plus is a soul that is 'owned' by the realm of Soul Society, either because it came here on its own, or because it was sent here through some means. When a plus dies, it becomes a soul; being reborn in the land of the living. Unlike souls, which can linger in the land of the living, all plusses end up going back to Earth when they die -"
"Not entirely true," Nanao interjected. "Some go to Hell."
"Well, yes, I stand corrected. It is possible for a plus to take a detour in Hell when it leaves Soul Society," Urahara acknowledged. "But, in any case: the ownership is important. For example, it explains why a shinigami who dies in the World of the Living is born there as a human; or if a human who may have come to Soul Society passes away, why they would materialize in Soul Society rather than be reincarnated on Earth.
"While Kurosaki Taicho and Kurosaki Fukutaicho are examples of souls who have become shinigami, it is exceptionally rare. Zanpakutou born from souls are generally the same as those born from plusses, with the exception that the zanpakutou emerges from the soul itself. To clarify using an example, when Kurosaki Karin was first found to be a shinigami, her shinigami soul was pushed out of her human body and it already had a pair of swords with it. The living soul somehow manifests the physical zanpakutou all by itself. Exactly how this happens and why, we're not precisely sure; but this is well-established fact.
"When a plus becomes a shinigami, however, they must first acquire for themselves a vessel to own and retain their zanpakutou spirit. In Shinou Academy, graduates are given an ausachi; a simple, plain blade of their desired length which has no reishi. They are all manufactured here in Sereitei, in fact. As the individual's ribbon turns from white to red - the real test of whether or not someone is a shinigami - their blade begins to take on the characteristics reflective of its owner, such as a change in color or adjustments to the shape of the crossguard, and other subtle characteristics of design. It can even go as far as changing the physical materials from one kind to another. These are all indications that the shinigami's spirit has begun to reside in the weapon."
"So hold on a minute," Renji interrupted. "What happens if the plus doesn't have a sword to channel their zanpakutou spirit into?"
"They can't become a shinigami. The result, however, is usually a plus with a very strong spiritual pressure. However, in many cases, even plusses with strong spiritual pressures never truly figure out how to infuse a weapon. They may even learn kido or shunpo and still never be able to properly manifest a zanpakutou."
Zaraki looked contemplative for a moment, then unsheathed his nameless sword. "So you're saying this old thing I got on my own in the Rukongai gets some special status just because I didn't get it from the academy?"
"No, no," Urahara smiled cheerily, internally begging that the pugnacious, already-annoyed, hulking 11th division captain next to him would put his weapon away. "But it is an example of how zanpakutou born from plusses - most zanpakutou, in fact - undergo an incubation period."
"Hmm," Zaraki acknowledged, and resheathed his sword.
"So what are you saying then?" Soifon blurted out, obviously irritated.
"Well, I'm getting to that," Urahara frowned. "When a soul dies, they leave behind their human body as they pass into Soul Society. When a plus dies, they leave behind their spirit body, and their essence passes into the Land of the Living. When a shinigami dies, the fragment of their soul that was imbued into their zanpakutou dies as well. In the case of soul-born shinigami such as the Kurosakis, the zanpakutou simply disappear. However, in the case of plus-born zanpakutou, the blade becomes a dead, spiritless weapon; left behind the same way a spirit body is when the spirit essence leaves."
Shunsui instantly figured it out. "So what happens when a new shinigami, instead of using a brand new sword for a zanpakutou, uses a dead sword, one that had already once been alive?"
"Kyoraku Taicho has a sharp mind," Kisuke smiled cheerily. "That is indeed where I was going. So, there is a saying. 'Life changes us. Death changes us.' It is not merely a profound philosophical statement - it is of scientific value as well. It helps to explain a very important phenomena. Imagine that a plus-born shinigami dies, then dies in the land of the living and returns to Soul Society as a plus. It is essentially the same soul essence, and presumably that plus becomes a shinigami all over again. Wouldn't they theoretically have the same zanpakutou as before?"
"No," interruped Ichigo, removing Zangetsu from his back and showing it to the other captains. "Because life changes us, and death changes us. That explains why I have Zangetsu instead of Nejibana."
The captains all began to nod, finally beginning to understand what Urahara was talking about. Urahara continued. "However, let us assume that for some reason, the shinigami had a peculiarly strong personality. One that would not be so easily changed. In that event, life nor death have a profound effect on him or her. Let's make another assumption - that this shinigami finds his or her old, dead blade, and re-infuses it with his or her zanpakutou spirit. Thus, the zanpakutou is reincarnated as well, and is now alive again: behold, we have a chi blade."
"Wait a minute," Hitsugaya shook his head. "Are you saying that Ho Shin Yang was reincarnated in the World of the Living, died, came back to Soul Society, and now Ragnarok is reborn?" he asked, incredulous. "If that happened, we should be able to find him - it would mean that Ho Shin Yang would have to be identical to who he was before he died, and someone with that level of spiritual pressue should be pretty easy to find. I can't imagine that's what actually happened."
Unohana decided to speak at that moment. "Urahara-san, I've known about the science of chi blades for a while now, but what you describe - while academically correct - is so improbable that it is beyond discussion. The scenario you described was based on the assumption that the shinigami returns completely unaffected by their death as a shingami, their life as a human, their death as a human, and then their life as a plus. That is a fairly loaded assumption. Any single event could happen over the course of potentially a hundred or more years could change the soul essence enough that the dead weapon would no longer recognize its original owner, and it would remain dead forever."
"Absolutely, Unohana-san, and I'm glad you mentioned that. Indeed, chi blades are an academic discussion. We can scientifically prove that it can happen, but we have never seen it occur because the variables are never remotely close to being that neat. That's why I never thought to mention it at first," he explained in summary.
"Let me guess," Kuukaku began, cutting off Kyoraku, who looked like he wanted to say something. "You could have made this entire discussion last fifteen seconds by getting straight to the point. Chi blades happen when some new shinimgami tries to infuse someone else's dead zanpakutou instead of an ausachi."
Urahara frowned. "Um, yeah."
Soifon nearly exploded at that point but restrained herself. Zaraki chuckled to himself, knowing that some things never change.
Urahara, whose mind sometimes moved too fast for him to pick up on social cues, continued: "What actually happens more often are imperfect chi blades."
"You mean there's more?" Soifon sneered. "You're getting to a point, right?" She looked she was going to pummel him. Actually, she looked like she was going to do more than just pummel him.
"I imagine this happens frequently amongst the noble houses," Byakuya noted, interrupting for a moment. "Ancestral weapons are a great source of pride for many families, and they often pass them down the generations. Although it is not done in the House of Kuchiki, it is conceivable that families would have a tradition of using the same vessel for their zanpakutou spirit throughout the generations. The idea of a reused zanpakutou is not so hard to imagine."
"So what is the end result?" Komamura asked. "Why are these 'imperfect' chi blades different than their academic 'perfect' counterparts?"
"Well, a shinigami would be trying to awaken a blade that has a different residual spiritual DNA; effectively reviving the former blade to a certain extent."
"Would it be sentient?" Komamura asked.
"Yes, but not in the way you would expect."
"Can't you explain yourself all at once?" Soifon shouted at him in frustration.
"My, my, so impatient today," Urahara teased, which earned him a glare from the diminutive leader of the Covert Ops that should have turned him to stone.
Renji thought of Banzo Tanabi's grave, which Ichihime had shown him once. "You still haven't explained about how this works - what, is there some sort of conflict between the new and old shinigami's spirit particles in the dead weapon?"
Urahara gave an iffy gesture. "The outcomes are dependent on the personality of the new wielder. If the new shinigami is particularly strong-willed, they can overwrite the old traces of the zanpakutou. However, in most cases, the zanpakutou's old style and inclinations begin to affect the incoming spirit, which is still young and impressionable at this time. This new spirit even awakens the remnant DNA of the sword's previous lifetime."
"So what's the big deal?" Soifon spat. "So the shinigami has a zanpakutou with multiple personality disorder. How does that make it worth noting?"
"That's a bad analogy, Soifon Taicho," Urahara retorted snarkily. "An imperfect chi blade now posesses a weak-willed fragment of a plus, and the unable-to-escape fragment of another lifetime's soul essence, and-"
"Holy fucking shit," Ichigo swore out loud, forgetting where he was for a moment. "You've got a vaizard blade - the damn thing has both a plus and a hollow in it!"
"Of course it would be our vaizard captain that figured it out," Urahara laughed. "And when the shinigami wielder isn't assertive enough during the infusion process- - -"
"-the zanpakutou's inner hollow devours the blade's plus fragment, rejecting the owner and leaving it hungry with a destructive appetite for souls!" Ichigo thought out loud.
That got everyone's attention, and an eery silence with shocked expressions spread the room.
"Ah, yes, you could put it that way," Urahara finished, disappointed that Ichigo stole his thunder. "And a chi blade with the capabilities of one like the 'Demon Blade' Ragnarok is an unimaginable threat."
Yamamoto chose this moment to speak. "Then what we have is indeed a very, very dangerous adversary."
"Ne, Yama-jii," Kyoraku said. "Who could have supplied them with a super-dangerous dead weapon like that?"
Byakuya tried to make sense of the whole mess. "I still do not understand how looking at the zanpakutou registers would help. Even if we had hundreds of chi blades on file - and from Unohana-san's observations and your own admittance, it is unlikely we will find more than a handful of documented cases - that means nothing. If these adversaries - and we still do not yet know whether or not whether today's events were a single party, or multiple interests that may or may not be in collusion - have found a way to acquire deceased zanpakutou, then it does not matter what classification they were. They can be used against us; whether or not they were previously awakened."
"Well, actually, there are indeed a number of imperfect chi cases over the years. Most of the famous swords ever known to mankind were likely imperfect chis. Using an existing chi blade would be easier than making a new one; you would require a subject willing to potentially submit themselves to the will of a hollow-infused blade."
"Wait, hold on a second," Ichigo interrupted. "Famous swords? You mean, like, Excalibur?"
The entire room simultaneously groaned. Even the Soutaicho was shaking his head, and the unflappable Unohana was going facepalm. "Did I... say something?" Ichigo eeked out awkwardly.
"Most unbelievable shinigami disaster of all time," Ukitake explained.
"Um... what happened?" Ichigo bumbled.
Renji gave him a dismissive gesture. "I'll explain later."
"Don't forget the part about ol' Yoda Chu," Urahara suggested to Renji, and then muttered "Baka" afterwards. The suggestion was met with another collective groan amidst a few "please don't" and "not now" comments coming from the crowd.
Ichigo stammered. "Did you just say-"
"Yes, he said 'Yoda Chewbacca', now give it a rest," gruffed Soifon. "Are we done here?"
At that moment, an unusually haggard-looking Sasakibe swung the doors to the captain's chamber wide open, running forward into a kneeling position. "High-level adjuchas have slaughtered Jidanbo and are storming the western gate. The 11th is headed there now - Sereitei is under attack!"
Extra points to those of you who understood all of the subtleties from Nanao's point of view. Reviews, please! Next chapter: The onslaught continues - plus, HitsuKarin! Don't miss it!
