A\N: MERRY CHRISTMAS!


Blood… the dark crimson water of life dripped out from his arm. More of the precious liquid cascaded down his body from several lacerations. When was the last time he had bled like this…? Tenbatsu had no real idea. The Mizukage had decided he was no longer valuable. Kaijin had been cut down pretty quickly, and the larger teen had gone into another berserker state. He still couldn't get the sickening pasty substance of his gloves anymore. He picked at it idly, with his nails.

Kaijin was his handler, and he had avenged him in a suitable manner. Only for him, would he do such a thing. Only for him, would he wilfully go into an uncontrollable rage. But now, the genin was dead, and vengeance dealt out harshly… but then came the Oinin. In groups of five or six, relentless in their charge they attacked him. Naturally, he had pulverised all of them into oblivion, but that didn't make it any easier; they were like dogs. They tracked him down no matter how much he tried to hide.

His suit had become nigh on useless. There was a glaring hole in its defensive capabilities, and a tool was only as good as its weakest point. After a small detour in a village to acquire some replacement garments, he glanced at his reflection in the water. Standing at nearly 8ft, it had been a bit of a hassle to find clothes that fit him, and he was forced to have them tailor-made with some ryo he had 'liberated' from some bandits. Loose cargo pants, and a form-fitting black sleeveless shirt, topped off with a dark blue, bell-sleeved trench coat, and a gas-mask. He felt kind of naked without something covering his face.

Running a pale hand through dark blue hair, he let a frown cross his masked face. The Sanbi was quiet. That didn't surprise him much. But the silence was foreboding, as if it was withholding something. Tenbatsu didn't like it when people withheld information from him. Then again, it was not like he could simply 'deal' with the Three-tailed Shark the same way he dealt with people. So, he had to ask for it.

Banishing himself into his mindscape, he let his thoughts drift; jumping from driftwood to driftwood in the vast ocean he called his mind. "Isonade." He called out, resting on a piece of driftwood. The Sanbi rose from the depths of the seal, a large, swirling whirlpool. Silence reigned throughout his mind, neither entity saying a word. Wordlessly, the Sanbi no Isonade re-submerged, leaving the Jinchuuriki high and dry. Frowning at the Shark's unwillingness to reveal what was going on; Tenbatsu let himself sink into the ocean in a similar manner. Such things had to be taken in stride, unfortunately.

Idly pondering what to do next, he traced the hilt of Kubikiri Houcho with his thumb. All of the Seven Shinobi Swordsmen had a unique sword, and a few even had unique abilities. He was due to be made one of the Swordsmen before the others turned traitor. He should probably get a sword forged, preferably a chakra blade. He wanted not only something unique, but something that would help him greatly. Zabuza's old sword was fabulous weapon, but it wasn't really… him, so to speak. The blade was designed for a single, swift strike, and, in limited space, the hole in the blade could be looped over the head, and the enemy could be decapitated in a single, swift jerk.

But that wasn't really what Tenbatsu was all about. He used a single swift strike, but it was less of a precise one, and based around surprise as the old somewhat self-proclaimed Master of Silent Killing. He was all about a single, swift and monolithic strike. Finish the battle in one powerful blow. And the Kubikiri Houcho just didn't have that destructive power. There were a decent amount master sword-smiths in Kiri… but they weren't necessarily the best. And he doubted he could set foot in there without being surrounded. Iwa had pretty good smiths, as did Kumo. Kumo's metal was pretty conductive, and Tenbatsu liked to keep a small sheen of water over his body, so if he were hit by a Raiton Jutsu, he would probably be fried alive.

Iwa it was, he supposed. They made more hammers and axes then swords, but there were a few master sword-smiths. One of them was a specialist in making chakra blades. How lucky of him.

xXx Iwagakure xXx

The Tsuchikage was a surprisingly patient man. He believed strongly in letting things come to him, rather than going out to snatch them. When Kairai had betrayed them, and attempted to assassinate him, he was confident that he would return. For one reason or another, Kairai would have to come back to Earth Country, and then, when he did, he would strike… with a polite request. He wasn't going to force the Gobi Jinchuuriki to do anything. Well, not overtly. If he gave Kairai a polite request, he was bound to accept. Grudgingly, and reluctantly, but he would. After all, he was always so inquisitive. And if he sent out a nice, calm, request, he was bound to wonder what the hell was going on.

And, just as curiosity killed the cat, it would begin to slowly gnaw away at him. It could take him years, possibly even a decade… but Zetsumei Kairai would come. And when he did, he lay down a second proposal. And he would take it, hook, line and sinker. Kairai would be just like that. For all his analytical skills and instincts, despite the fact that everything screamed trap he would still waltz in like nothing was wrong. That was something the Tsuchikage had used opportunistically to manipulate him.

All he had to do was give him a mission, leave out some essential details, and bingo. The silver-haired Jinchuuriki would be all over it like flies to honey. This trap would be no different.

xXx Border of Earth Country xXx

Kairai glared at the fire as they made camp near the border. He didn't like going in this direction. He would've voiced his real reasons, but he caved in. Not to Yugito, but rather, himself. It was a bad thing, and one of them was likely to get hurt but… he was interested. He wanted to see what the Tsuchikage would do. A part of him already knew what he would do, but he needed to see it with his own eyes. He had managed to stave off the urge, but when Yugito insisted, he didn't find the strength to resist. It was hard enough to resist against himself, but both him and Yugito? There was no way he could win.

"Curiosity killed the cat" The Gobi chimed in suddenly. Kairai rolled his eyes and finished his sentence, "And now it's killing the brat. Yeah, yeah, heard it before, you mutt…" The Five-tailed Demon Wolf merely huffed. Kairai would've laughed, were it not for his sour mood. "What do you want, puppy-dog?"

The Gobi rolled his eyes. "Such a lame insult, oji-san… Surely you could do better being so experienced in the ways of life." Kairai felt his eyebrow twitch, and the Gobi nearly giggled in glee at his vessels expression. Now it was Kairai's turn to roll his eyes.

"You can be so childish when you want to be, y'know…?" The light-hearted banter aside, the air grew colder with the chill of business. "So, what did you really want?"

"Don't lie to me. I know what you're planning." Kairai cracked an eye.

"Huh. No hiding from the Big Bad Wolfy, I suppose." The Gobi's paw lashed out, freezing inches from his face, claws almost close enough to scratch his nose.. "Enough jokes, brat. I know one thing and one thing only. You're planning something." Kairai laughed, pushing the gargantuan limb to the side with his hand.

"Yeah… I am." He remarked lightly, an air of nonchalance surrounding him.

The Gobi snarled lightly. "Don't taunt me. I cannot kill you, but I can make your life a living hell." Kairai let out another laugh.

"It's a surprise." He said, giggling. The Gobi let out a snarl, before turning away.

"Fine." it growled, tails swishing in anger, "If you are not going to tell me… then leave me be." Kairai gave one final laugh, before turning around.

"Oh don't worry. It'll be pleasantly surprising!"

Yugito was, frankly, a little worried. Kairai was acting strangely. He was a little more eccentric than usual, and just that tad bit more giddy than normal. She got the impression of a teenage girl a few days before their Sweet Sixteen party. Aside from creepy, it was almost scary. He had been like this a few times before, and that was usually when he had a crackpot scheme, or some subtle trap. There were only two conclusions she could come to; Kairai had gotten more insane, or, he was planning something. Something big… and when Kairai had something big in mind, it was usually a bad thing.

Naruto was sharing similar thoughts. They had been with Kairai long enough to learn what was normal-crazy, and what was unusual-crazy. Unusual-crazy was bad. The last time he was in that sort of mood, he made a paper plane out of explosive tags. At the surprising success, he made origami shapes. Then, he had the crackpot idea of making a book, with pages made out of explosive tags, and then giving it a fancy name, like 'Big Book of Kinjutsu', and sneak it into a library and see if anyone fell for it. Fortunately, they had managed to dissuade him from doing it. Naruto didn't know what was going on it that screwed up mind of his, and to be honest, he didn't want to know. He just made sure to give him a wide berth whenever he saw him, lest he became the target of whatever he was planning.

Ikimono had long since detested plans, but he found himself wrapped up in one. Plans weren't all bad; he just had to get over his irrational hatred… that's all. But a long-standing hatred for plans had given Ketsurakumen the necessary analytical skills to tell when someone was scheming or planning. Kairai was quite obviously scheming or planning. It in that self-satisfied and smug air had around him, like a Shogi player trapping their opponent. It unsettled him. In the month or so he had been with him, he had pegged out their individual personas. Gaara was the one of those quiet ones people always say you have to look out for. Naruto was loud and boisterous, but despite his apparent lack of common sense, his unorthodox methods were built upon cunning and craftiness.

Yugito was pragmatic and mechanical in her movements, wasting as little energy as possible. Kairai was just as loud and boisterous as Naruto, and wasn't as cunning, but far more crafty. His methods were far more than just simple unorthodox. They were, to put it lightly, crazy. But there was no denying his trapping abilities, even if some of them were a little… outlandish.

Gaara could feel the tension in the air. It was obvious. The others were all wary… of Kairai. Was it something that he said…? No. It was his behaviour. He was acting… oddly. Gaara didn't feel threatened by any means. No, he didn't care. If Kairai was a little more insane than usual, then Gaara couldn't really complain. He was the resident psycho, and Kairai was the resident eccentric. Gaara couldn't really complain about him as much as Kairai could complain about him.

A few days after they had broken camp, a patrol of shinobi stumbled upon them. Recognizing Kairai, and remembering their fresh, new orders they immediately saluted, which effectively put an end to any offensives the other Jinchuuriki had planned. "Zetsumei Kairai! Tsuchikage-sama has politely requested that you visit him in his home, for dinner! You're comrades are invited too, I guess. Didn't say anything about others in the scroll…" He started grumbling about nothing as he continued with his patrol.

Kairai blinked. Oh that was so him. Invite him to a calm relaxed dinner, and then he'd probably activate the next phase of his plan, and a second trap. The worst part was, Kairai was probably going to take the bait anyway. The other Jinchuuriki merely looked at Kairai awaiting his reaction. "Well… Who wants a free dinner?" He said cheerfully. All of them, minus Gaara, gave a small shudder. The glint in his eyes was bad. It was almost as if he had just accepted some unspoken challenge.

Yugito was the first to react. "What, we're going to just pop in at the Tsuchikage's compound for dinner…? It's obviously a trap!" she shouted, Kairai scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Weeell, you don't have to come if you don't want to…" Ikimono shrugged, letting a care-free grin slip onto his face. "I'll come." Yugito shook her head. "Don't even think of asking."

Gaara blinked. "… I'll stay." He said after a few minutes of silence. All eyes rested on Naruto now, causing him to scratch the back of his head nervously. "Um… hehehe… uh… I'll… go…" Kairai poked his tongue out at Yugito; she retaliated by grabbing it, and jerking him forward. "What's the matter…? Cat got your tongue?" she snapped at him. Kairai mouthed sorry as best he could, circumstances withstanding, whilst surreptitiously forming the seals for a Kawarimi. With a poof of smoke she was holding… Naruto…? For his part, the blonde Jinchuuriki panicked at the sudden switch. Kairai laughed and poked his out again. Yugito came within inches of cutting it off.

When all was quiet, Kairai rubbed his hands with barely controlled glee. The Tsuchikage had made his oh so predictable move, and Kairai would counter. He had learned his lesson from all those years. He would take the bait, but he would not do so recklessly. Oh no. He had a plan. Everybody knew he had a plan. But the Tsuchikage didn't. He wouldn't know until it was too late. By the time he found out, everything would be in motion, and he would be trapped. Of course, the only hard part was tolerating his presence. A difficult task as the two of them had never seen eye-to-eye from the moment Kairai was born.

He was going to come out on top. He had to. Failure meant his grand plan would crumble. Scratch that, it would come crashing down… on him, burying him in failure… Kairai wouldn't let himself drown in his own failure. The Tsuchikage would be the one drowning… for once.

xXx Somewhere in Earth Country xXx

Aranami unfurled the scroll, frowning as his eyes crossed over it. "… You have got to be shitting me." The Rokubi burst in raucous laughter.

"I told you we should've taken a left!" The Jinchuuriki felt a small tic build on his eyebrow. "Shut. Up."

xXx Plateau outside of Iwagakure xXx

"Alright, Whiskers, Nutcase; it'll be about a days travel until we reach Iwa. When we do, they'll recognize me, let us in, we go straight to the Bastard's compound, have dinner, and then we get the fuck out as fast as we fucking can." Ikimono rolled his eyes at his nickname. From the last line, he derived that was when whatever he was scheming would be set into motion, and that was of course, when shit would hit the proverbial fan.

"Naruto, Ikimono, I'm going to ask you a favour. If it looks like I'm going to go into a blind rage and kill the Tsuchikage, I ask that you restrain me. Except of course, during… dinner." The tone wasn't necessarily foreboding, or murderous. It wasn't even crazy. It was as if he was salivating… like a ravenous wolf with the taste of blood. He was… hungry.

"Right!" barked Naruto, giving a smart, if mocking, salute. Ikimono merely gave a grin. It was a little off and somewhat creepy, but Kairai nodded. "And don't even think about formalities. You'll ruin my reputation." He gave them a lazy grin as they made camp. Yugito and Gaara had stayed back near the border, where they were to return as fast as possible.

In four days travel, they had arrived. The stood there, waiting for the Tsuchikage to greet them. Shortly afterwards, he did. "Ah, I see you have accepted my offer!"

"Well, no freaking duh, you senile old fuck!" chirped Kairai in an overly chipper and cheery manner. The Tsuchikage gave a good-natured laugh and ran a hand through his silver hair. "You haven't changed at all, son."

With those words, the temperature seemed to drop below freezing point.


A\N: Yes, a cliff-hanger of sorts. The nature of their relationship will be explained in the next chapter, but for now, for one time only (well, maybe not), an Omake.

OMAKE!!!

"I'm glad you could make it for Christmas, son." The Tsuchikage beamed at his son. Kairai slipped on a fake smile, and half-beamed, half-subtly glared back at him. "I even got you a present!" He said grinning crookedly. In his hands was green gift-wrapped box with a blue ribbon tied on top.

Surprised, the Tsuchikage took it from his hands. "You… you actually care about me…" he sniffed, as tears of joy streamed down in his face in a melodramatic fashion. Ripping the box open, he was greeted to the sight of the Gobi's puppet form… with a cute little ribbon tied around its chest. "What the hell is this…?" He said; puppet launched itself forward, tearing at his face and chest as Kairai cheered it on. "GO FOR THE EYES! THE EYES!"

To the side, Naruto and Ikimono stared. "… He doesn't get the spirit of Christmas thing does he?"